Why Do I See Narcissists Everywhere?
You have accessed my material and digested it.
The Full Horror then manifests.
Narcissists. Everywhere.
But are you correct or mistaken?
This Logic Bulletin addresses the following
- The typical questions you face about seeing narcissists everywhere you look
- Why do you see so many narcissists?
- What is it about you that causes you to see so many narcissists?
- Are the numbers of narcissists on the planet increasing and if so, why?
- What is causing this shift in your perception?
- What is influencing your perception?
- What causes you to doubt yourself that you ARE seeing more and more narcissists around you?
- How should you approach your day to day life with regard to this increased insight?
- What about mistakenly labelling someone as a narcissist when they are not?
- How Emotional Thinking plays a part in this situation.
- How the doubts are natural and are a part of trying to break your no contact regime.
To understand far more about the narcissistic dynamic and also to ensure that you do not breach the No Contact regime, access this useful information for just US $ 15 and receive a detailed audio file via email.
47 thoughts on “Why Do I See Narcissists Everywhere?”
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Thank you, HG, for this very much needed Logic Bulletin, much needed because I too have begun to see them ‘everywhere’ and since I work with the general public everyday, I was beginning to doubt myself. Most of the people I see repeatedly; many of them I thought were ‘a little off’, just as you said. But then I began putting things together–and straight away, my emotional thinking kicked in and I started doubting. They can’t be *everywhere*, right? I’m just too sensitive. Etc.
But the very first point you made regarding the reason I’ve suddenly begun noticing them, the patterns, and identifying them for what they are…the very first point, HG, nailed it. Made perfect sense and I felt sooo much better. Another ‘ah, ha!’ moment to add to the others as I’ve read and listened to your work.
Highly recommend to anyone who thinks they’re paranoid, or overthinking when they meet someone and their narc radar is triggered. This Logic Bulletin will reassure them they are not imagining it, and furthermore, give them more reasons to trust themselves and the *logical* instincts, rather than the emotional ones.
Thank you.
I a pleased you found it useful Caity.
Thank you HG this was fantastic! Forget a new therapist, you help me understand myself more than any therapist ever has.
Indeed and I am pleased you found it of such use.
I don’t think I ever see narcissist here often. I think this page has a wide range of Codependents, Standards, and Super Empaths who are all facing different challenges. That’s why I love reading the comments, and I love the readers, and especially HG.
If you log onto any online divorce support group, especially the ones that deal with legal strategy, you will see more narcissist claiming that their ex is the Narcissist. The men narcissist will be rallying Father’s rights, but will take it a step further with misogynist comments about how women are all garbage. The women narcissist will be asking for tips on how to get full custody/terminate ex’s rights/keep dad from doing something fun with the kids, because the dad is “abusive”. It will feel off, because the post in itself sounds very controlling about the outcome. One narcissist hopped on a page I follow and asked how to prevent her child from going on a vacation with dad, because she felt that the activities he planned were “dangerous” and he was an abuser in their marriage. I knew right away she was a female narc. I asked her to elaborate on her situation a little more. Come to find out, the daughter was now scared to go on vacation with dad, because mom said it was dangerous, and the narc mom even planned the daughters funeral with the daughter in case she doesn’t come back alive after a weekend with dad. They created a slide show of pictures for the funeral and all! you can’t make this crap up! and this sadistic narcissist wanted help to further her agenda.
Amn
Incredible perception. You’ve highlighted the strong current of misandy which runs through society. It’s only largely males who abuse. No, males create the more OBVIOUS damage through battery, rape and sexual assault. Plus murder. Rogue females are out there.
Lorelei: been there, done that. I’ve been accused of Narcissism, and I will freely admit to being an incorrigible show-off, but I don’t try to control other people’s entire existences. The cutoff seems to be that the mid-rangers, at least, see no room for honest disagreement. They think it impossible for anyone to have a different opinion, unless they “don’t understand,” and they will stand there explaining until you do what they want just to make them shut up. I’d rather deal with people who don’t care what I think as long as things are done a certain way.
The people who did the accusing, BTW, were my-way-or-the-highway types who honestly believed I not only should do things their way, but I should THINK their way or I wasn’t “normal.” Several Dale Carnegie true believers tried to get me to ask people questions to show interest or compliment something about them, never allowing for a minute that some people regarded their questions as intrusive and their praise as unctuous.
These things also vary between regions as well as countries: one woman in sales whom I knew through the reenactors, but only only slightly, asked me how many brothers and sisters I had. Do that in NYC, you’ll get a shocked stare or a “non yo bidnezz”–it’s not only over-familiar, but there are also plenty of people from dysfunctional families who don’t care to discuss which family members they’re not on speaking terms with and why. She showed me her family’s collection of lighthouse knick-knacks and the house her sister was buying: she was indignant that I gave polite praise, not effusive, and I had even commented on a nearby house that looked very Victorian (turrets, wrap-around porch, etc.) and said I’d like something like that for myself. (Mind you, had she shown me her garb or her lord’s fight gear, I’d have been interested, even if they did a different historical era.) She wrote me long email on my lack of social skills; trying to be polite, I refrained from mentioning the section in Paul Fussell’s book Class in which a British aristocrat expels someone from his house, muttering in disgust, “Fellow praised my furniture!”
I had felt I owed her, since I was on crutches at the time, and she was helping me do my laundry at her sister’s house, where everything was on one level. After the email lecture, she tried to talk me into going to a big camping event in the summer, even offered to help me get there, but I was terrified of falling and reinjuring myself–I still wasn’t supposed to put weight on the foot in the cast, and showering on my knees with a baggie over the cast was one thing in my apt.: another in a big camping site with dubious looking shower stall floors. I thanked her, told her I wished I could, not least because I missed seeing my reenactor friends from NYC as well as the local ones, and was tempted to go, if not for the risk of reinjuring myself since my balance was still bad. She replied that it was strange I spoke of visiting them and vice versa; she herself was so bored when her lord was fighting, because she sat in her tent all day and no one seemed to visit her or ask her to stop by their encampment.
Wait, what?
I’m the socially inept one, but I get invited to bardic circles, Mead tastings, the Celtic Margarita party, the Viking Luau, etc. I get amoeba’d on my way to.somewhere else. I meet people at Latin cuss-word classes, humoural medicine, shopping for fabric, or just petting someone’s working dog when he’s not in harness (he was this ginormous furry thing who told her when her blood pressure was dropping).
My former editor in comics books was highly amused when I told him about our exchange. I think he’s a real.psychopath: he admitted he listens to crap like the lighthouse tour just so he can get info on people.
I’ve only been accused of it here Violetta. Next time the query should be Illustrated within at least eight pages typed with one inch margins—perhaps ten to twelve references to journals, etc. For HG’s review of course. Basically, if someone on here feels the need to suggest a dislike, a diagnosis, a need to email HG about a matter that could never really impact them— my message is that they pursue another form of entertainment. I’ve never emailed HG randomly about other readers in a negative manner, or assigned psychiatric labels here. I also don’t do it in my life as it is not a benign platform. (It’s anonymous here to say my ex or my father is a narcissist and HG has confirmed it to be the case for my ex, and he’s unlikely to remove the suspicion re, my father based on the information I’ve provided) I have the word narcissism removed from my vocabulary because I’m not licensed to diagnose it. I could have the license with a little more work—but I’m not Interested.
I’m sorry you’ve been labeled in a way that was unpleasant. Labels carry connotations that one really can’t easily take back.
MB: I had that reaction when I listened to the “Am I the Narcissist?” vid on YT. The relief was indescribable.
I love it when HG confirms that I’m not crazy! Great assistance package. My husband tells me I see too many narcissists. I don’t see one in six, so I’m obviously not recognizing them all! Thank you for the validation, HG. I needed this one.
You are welcome.
MommyPino,
Very good points about slavery and all that. Maybe the amount of narcissism is not very different these days, across history and cultures, but it manifests and people act out differently.
Can anyone give me insight on cptsd? My therapist believes me about everything that was happening in my relationship. And my psychiatrist is setting up an appt for me to get evaluated. He wants to see if it is bipolar disorder or cptsd or both. I have no idea what this will entail.. has anyone been diagnosed with cptsd? I’m afraid they won’t believe me on everything happening. I’ve taken a break from this site because it was giving me so much anxiety reading. I quick checking my emails and some days I do ok. But today I hit a pit. I read things and wonder if I am a narcissist. Like taking his time.. I wanted a lot of his time. I loved him. He told me I was always trying to take his time. But it was out of love I just wanted to be with him. HG is it possible to set up some sort of ability to talk with people where I dont have to wait for an email saying i got a reply? Is it possible to have anything real time?
I’m also afraid I wont heal. I’m afraid I’ll have baggage and bring it into another relationship. How do people heal from NA? Thank you for everyones time..
I do not understand your question Misti, what are you referring to?
Misti,
If you are asking if you can get notifications from the blog some other way then by email, yes you can. It won’t be real time ( unless you set up a consult with HG which would be in real time, that wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to do, it would benefit you greatly. ) however you can set up a word press account ( they have free ones ) and you will be able to see your notifications from the blog there. You just have to go into settings and select it. You can then unsubscribe from receiving notifications by email. I hope this helps you, I’m not 💯 sure if this is what you were asking HG? You will get through this but please take advantage of HG and all the knowledge he has to offer. From the blog, books, social media, assistance packages, and all of the consults that he offers, he has something for everyone. Take care of yourself dear.
Misti.C
Yes I can. I’m currently fighting for my own diagnosis of c-PTSD and PTSD. I completely understand the issues you are going through.
I’m also afraid that the psychiatrist wont see its PTSD for me. I know I will have to fight for it. And reject all notions I have BPD. I do not.
I can tell, right off from your words that you are not a narc. But I’ll bet you’ve been accused of it? No?
Classic projection from the unaware.
I completely understand your worries and issues concerning notifications. That’s why I keep my phone on silent. I jump at every bleep.
In real time, I suggest you consult HG.
I think we can heal from NA abuse but I’m not the expert. I’ve not healed yet. I think the key is that you dont enter into another intimate relationship for quite some time.
Using HGs words will help you to spot the red flags.
Hope this helps. Please keep on posting, if you can.
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
Im assuring theres a higher % in narcs in society than Empath s
It just looks like that! The narcissist takes away 90% of the empath’s time,energy and attention . So when you’re an empath you hardly have the time to look at yourself let alone spot other empath’s.
Purchased. I do need this. I find myself constantly looking for signs when I meet someone new or even someone on TV.
Cogra002
Ok I have to ask. How did this happen? Lol
Perfect timing HG as usual! I feel validated once again. Reducing Emotional Thinking makes room for more logic and that explains so much. It’s like learning another language or counting cards. It becomes second nature.
Exactly! Nearly everyone has some narcissistic traits.
Differentiating is tricky. That is the next step isn’t it. I’ve thought of this for a while, as well.
Violetta!!! 😂😂😂
Truly.
I have to tell someone this thing today.
I got hoovered while vacuuming today!!! 😂
How ironic to get hoovered while hoovering!
Tell me about it…
@singasongy yesss!! you have some serious living to do! What a wonderful thing to be able to say, I can hear in your words that you have found peace with yourself and who you are, it shines in your last sentences.
Like you I have always felt a freak, the ‘odd’ one. Thanks to HG and a therapist I am starting to see this journey as a double edged sword; that the painfully raw truth of our lives to date can lead to the uncovering of our own true selves. A lifetime of emotional neglect & abuse stunts a sense of self in so many ways, and coping mechanisms come in all shapes and sizes, it’s not all about them ! lol.
I don’t have a problem with my own company, in fact I prefer it but I’m wondering now if I’ve actually been hiding from myself too….
@RandR…yeah it is a double edged sword for sure. In one way it would be wonderful to not carry the weight of the world on our shoulders, it would also mean we probably din’t have trauma that caused us to be this way. On the other hand, its a pretty cool thing to have if we can harness it correctly.
I never feel myself. Like I have a hard time understanding what I am feeling because the lines are so blurry with other peoples’ feelings of me. This morning I was sitting in my closet (I have done this since I was a child) and thinking. A rush of elation washed over me and for a split second I felt like I had this awesome super power of being able to read people and help them and feel them. And I thought wow, you are special and then it went away very quickly. I pushed it down because I thought, don’t be ridiculous. But at that moment I recognized what I did and thought, no, hold on to that happy feeling. It is ME. It is who I am and that is something I need to accept instead of poo pooing it off. I need to pay attention to my intuition. It has NEVER been wrong. The only time bad stuff has happened is when I denied the intuition for whatever reason. From now on, I am going to trust myself! Or at least try very hard to trust myself.
This is how we all should be on here. If we all trusted ourselves, then we’d have paid attention to that bad feeling we got from the toxic people and instead of trying to help them or be hopeful we are wrong, we should say NO THIS IS A BAD PERSON ! Stay away!!!!
Hi Dorian, I do wonder if narcissism is really getting more predominant these days or is just manifesting differently due to the changes in culture like what is acceptable or not acceptable. Narcissists in the olden days abused people of lower economic or social ranking such as in my home country slaves which they treated very inhumanely. However women in my home country in those days are expected to be prude, polite, feminine and conservative. You would not see them showing their legs or cleavage but they these women treated their family slaves worse than they treated their pets. Nowadays it is not acceptable to own slaves but it is acceptable for women to wear pretty much whatever they want and post their pictures on social media.
“This is Narcissist propaganda of the shoddiest kind! What’s gone wrong with the world? I can’t even take a bath without 6 or 7 Narcissists jumping in with me. They’re in my shirt cupboard, and Donald Trump and Meghan Markle are in the kitchen now, eating my wife’s jam. Oh they are cutting off my legs! I can see them peeping out of my wife’s blouse! Why doesn’t Mr Maulding do something about it before it is too late? Ohhhh….God…!
Thank you HG, this is very helpful.
I have a question after listening.
1 in 6 people are narcissist. How many people are empaths?
I think it is apart of PTSD. Being hypervigilant of dangers around you so that you do not get hurt again. I don’t necessarily see narcissist all around me, but I see narcissism. My sisters are all Empaths, but last night, I light heartedly called out my younger sister for feeling inept, but still bragging about herself to our parents. This was narcissism, but she isn’t a narcissist.
Anm—good recognition of the difference between traits and narcissism. At first I was tripped up over the “transition” of traits into narcissism. Not one bit now. It is or it is not. Either someone functions with it ruling their existence or they do not. It is about control or it is not. It’s not “one step” forward from narcissistic to narcissism. It’s control on another level. Someone may be shitty to me or you—it doesn’t mean the smell of narcissism has to be strong. I have a woman I butt heads with work. She is not a narcissist nor am I. I can’t run off crying “narcissist” when my feelings get hurt. Good application!
We see narcissists everywhere because they are!
This is another masterpiece! Another priceless Logic Bulletin, an absolute must have.
A brilliant explanation how our ET sabotages our goals to escape from or to avoid the narcissists around us – lovers/ partners/ FWB , or family members or colleagues or friends.
I am going to utilise what I have learned today not only in my private life but also it is going to help me a lot at work.
Thank you, HG!
You are welcome Claire.
I have a lot of thoughts on this… Some:
I can easily see it being the excessive preoccupation and hypervigilance due to the past difficult experiences, especially if repetitive and long-term. Also, talk about narcissism and narcissists is all over the place these days, almost like every annoying person/interpersonal experience is about narcissists. A lot of it is way inaccurate and excessive, in my opinion. I can, again, compare it with recovery from other addictions – so many people, who manage to quit their drug of choice, will then get hooked on the recovery method and obsess about that forever. Project every character flaw and self-defeating tendency as addict behavior and cultivate a sense of eternal vulnerability, so one should always be watching out for it. The whole thing is utterly unrealistic even though, of course, it is usually better to be hooked on a treatment/cure than on something destructive. Another (similar) phenomenon I’ve encountered a lot is about people who go to psychotherapy. So many get painfully hooked on it, attached to the therapist even if they don’t provide anything useful or are straight harmful, just keep going for years, decades, pay incredible amounts of money, mentally obsess about it endlessly. Driven by what they like to describe as “attachment”… But it is really another form of addiction when people spend hours every day thinking and talking about it, while often neglecting parts of their lives that could be quite productive and fulfilling.
The “replacement preoccupation” can be a form of harm reduction but, eventually, true recovery is really moving on – not only from the actual drug/narcissist/whatever but also from the preoccupation with the experience and the treatment, if possible.
Regardless, I do believe narcissism has become much more predominant in the last 20 years or so, simply because of how the world works these days. It would be cool to see real studies on this with some evidence, but I imagine that today’s society and lifestyle brings out the latent genetic predispositions to narcissism from people very effectively.
Yes they are all around me. I’m constantly thinking about you and applying your work HG.
Because Narcissism exists on a spectrum.
It is much more than that.
NPD is, of course, more than that; I’m saying narcissistic traits exist in everyone “on a spectrum,” but do not rise to the level of NPD. Seeing them everywhere – well yes, there are plenty out there, some are full blown narcs, others display mere characteristics.
Your pieces on MM are fantastic.
Indeed they do, SCN. My reference was to the fact that it is much more than to do with narcissistic traits, there are several other factors.
Thank you, I am pleased you enjoyed them.
Singasongy… and you have perfectly echoed my thoughts and experience right now, I see them here, I see them there .. I see them everywhere, Paranoia much !
Thank you HG, for this very well timed AP, Without having listened to it yet It has already helped knowing I am not alone with these thoughts.
All good wishes for a peaceful weekend.
R&R
You are welcome. Listen to it and you will get even more help.
@R&R its amazing how much comfort we get from just knowing that we are not alone in our feelings. All my life I thought I was a freak cause I can feel stuff or obsess over truth and want to stay in my closet and just be by myself at the end of the day. Just knowing that it’s not a big deal, I’m not alone or a weirdo for it, has enlightened me greatly. While HG is here to help us from narcissists, he has helped me just process who I am more than anything else. I don’t know if that is what he intended but wow, it’s pretty neat regardless. Wish I’d known this in my teens and 20’s…At least I’m only 45 and plan on living to 90 so that’s half of my life left that I can put this stuff into action and be a happier person from it….
The correct attitude.
HG—stay outta China, coronavirus is on the rise and we need you to stay well. I just got an urgent CDC generated message for screening! It’s an emergency!!
I’m pretty careful to pull this trigger. First, it is a psychiatric diagnosis, it also has heavy implications. I have nearly removed it from my vocabulary as it better lives in my mind. Descriptions of behavior are far more useful outside of this environment. I also know so much more about what it is because of being here that I can’t possibly elaborate when I here inaccuracy without it compelling uncomfortable conversations. I don’t really want to share that I am addicted to abusers to ordinary people in my life! That’s what it boils down to. It’s time to get really introspective instead of worrying about everyone else’s problems.
ha, you read my mind, HG! I’ve been forcing myself to block this out because I’ve let myself get carried away with all of your information and readings! I’ve actually taken a break because my mind has been obsessing too much….paranoia!