The Addiction : How To Tackle Emotional Thinking
*** The Assistance Package Discount Rate will shortly be removed, so do not lose this opportunity to avail yourself of it ***
Are you ready to drain yourself of Emotional Thinking in order to beat the addiction to the narcissist and achieve freedom? Absolutely, you are.
By accessing the Assistance Packages to understand the foundation of your addiction and then the relationship between your addiction and Emotional Thinking, you are then ready to tackle Emotional Thinking and drain it away.
This must-have Assistance Package is required listening to ensure you defeat the Enemy Within which is Emotional Thinking and thus allow you to manage successfully the addiction. This Assistance Package provides you with a range of ground breaking information, which includes :-
- How to recognise Emotional Thinking
- How to apply the Acid Test which is crucial to tackling ET
- Over 20 examples of what ET looks like AND how to address those common examples of ET
- How you go about shutting off ET
- How your existing level of ET occurs
- Knowledge about The Bathtub Principle
- Information about the rate of ET Attrition
- How you will rid yourself of unwanted emotions caused by ET
- How your no contact regime fits with tackling ET
Understanding and recognising ET is absolutely essential to defeating the Enemy Within and allowing you to achieve freedom from the narcissist.
This is powerful and unique information which you will not find anywhere else.
The Assistance Package will be provided by email through an audio file which you can use repeatedly and is available at a short-term discounted cost of just US $ 55. This cost will increase shortly, so avail yourself of this discount NOW.
76 thoughts on “The Addiction : How To Tackle Emotional Thinking”
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HG,
I wish I could turn my emotional switch off.
Can I purchase please
You may. You did. It has been sent.
HG if normals are not addicted to Ns.
If a normal was being subjected to being bullied at work by an N would they suffer much? could it impact on them in the same way it would an E?
I ask because there is a normal at my work who is now working for mega-bitch. The mega-bitch has made Ns and Es alike crumble. I want to know whether to step in an help or leave it if it won’t affect her in the same way?
The answer lies in Why Am I Drawn To Toxic Behaviours.
lovely – thanks
“If a normal was being subjected to being bullied at work by an N would they suffer much? could it impact on them in the same way it would an E?”
I don’t know what’s in HG’s material, but I am a normal and have encountered numerous insecure, aggressive bullies at work over the years (I work in quite competitive environments) and have also seen how a large variety of people react to them. In short: it can be unpleasant but I usually don’t care enough for it to affect my work. But it would depend on the bullies position relative to me, i.e. if it is a superior, of course much worse. But I would not tolerate that either, would rather leave or otherwise avoid/minimize the interactions with them. My personal experience is that normals will pay much less attention to start with and even if they have to because the bullies are close coworkers, they can detach from those behaviors and attacks more effectively and focus on the work, getting things done.
My own most significant experience with bullying was actually not at work, not even as an adult, but as a young kid before age 10. A good number of years and from different sources. It was not nice but I definitely could isolate my mind from them and remain relatively indifferent quite often, so one individual/group would not target me long because of no or little reaction. Maybe this is similar to how narcs move toward those who provide negative fuel and move on from those who don’t provide much of that.
If I can have a suggestion re your colleague: if this is a known issue at the workplace, maybe have an open discussion about it with her. Ask her opinion, whether she feels it’s disruptive etc. I would not go to her in the first place offering help or inquiring about her wellbeing straight, some normals can find that intrusive and also they just don’t like to appear too vulnerable, prefer to come across as people who can handle things. Of course all this depends on where she stands on the spectrum and many other factors in her emotional health. As far as helping, I would also ask myself how you could possibly help? Isn’t it, in some way, another form of being drawn to toxic behavior and drama for you, to get involved?
Thanks Dorion. That is incredibly helpful. Oh although I’m not an N, I’m very, very good at stoking up support and getting people to join forces when I need to. So I have no doubt that I could beat the bitch if I wanted/needed to.
Before I would help anyone. Now I prefer to conserve my energy and save it for when it’s needed. But I certainly don’t want to stand by and watch anyone to suffer at her hands not if they’re an empath.
Without giving too much away re HG’s articles, your view supports HG’s re normals and so I will leave it there.
I’m pleased you manage things well. I’m very interested to learn what led you here as a normal Dorion?
Interesting to hear my view/experience matches HG’s opinion. Re your question at the end, I just answered a similar question the other day on this thread:
https://narcsite.com/2019/07/16/the-golden-period-7/
I’ve made many posts there but if you do a search, it is the two most recent, not sure how else to reference them
Main reasons in:
Dorion says:
February 9, 2020 at 11:44
This is also relevant as I mention some things that keep me here now after the initial curiosity:
Dorion says:
February 10, 2020 at 12:18
I also have that sort of instinct and desire to protect those in my inner circle and often do, although I usually prefer to talk assertively to the bully/disruptor directly on my own, without involving others. Of course that does not always work. It is more likely to work in a professional environment if I am in some sort of supervisory position relative to the bully or otherwise more senior. I hope you guys can do something constructive about the situation, it is such a stupid waste of time and energy drain having to deal with these people at work! In my experience, they also very often engage in hypocrisy, want to be the best experts and performers, but they rarely are. Again, insecurity.
Dorion, this is very interesting to me and I’m extremely grateful to you for taking the time to search out your previous comments.
I will make sure we do something (enough). It is great to hear that you look after your inner circle friends.
I’m very much learning that actually for me a direct approach works well with non-Ns and sometimes with Ns, very much depends on the type of N and the circumstance. A non-direct approach works incredibly well with other Ns and helps me achieve whatever my aims might be.
I’ve been giving much thought to normals recently and I do have some very good friends who are normal. I’m also taking the time to get to know them and see why certain people/ things don’t bother them as much as they do us Es. It is interesting and helpful to understand from their perspective and thank you very much for this.
I really enjoyed it !
Thank you Bubbles.
“ Guys, if it’s about the money, just skip one night of dining out and buy this AP instead. You won’t regret it. It tastes better”
Ignorant.
It’s this or a couple days worth of groceries to feed my kid. It’s this or gas for the week. It’s this or not enough for the hydro bill.
For some- it’s this or dinner out- and this is the better choice in that case -but for many- these logic bulletins are necessary for mental health and we still have to rob Peter to pay Paul just to afford one of them.
I think that’s what the writer meant, in the case of being able to afford dining out then obtain the information instead. The writer was not referring to other cases as otherwise they’d have stated as such.
That’s exactly what the writer meant, it wasn’t meant to offend anyone and I’m very sorry if it came off as ignorant or aloof.
That was my ET soaring. I’m frustrated due to some personal issues.
I’m sorry to have jumped down your throat.
When I escaped (with HG’s help) the Narcissist’s shelf after 15 years and started solidifying the NC regime (again, with HG’s help), I still looked at his other IPSSs’ online profiles, investigating them deeper than when I was still with the said narcissist. That’s how I discovered that they weren’t grownup women he’s been sexting with but 14 and 15 year old girls, and that he’s essentially an online creep grooming minors. I thought it was okay to get this kind of validation, proving to myself that he’s a worthless piece of crap, no matter his status. After listening to Tackling ET, I realized that my obsession with his numerous teenage love interests is breaking the NC regime by entering one of the arenas, thus it’s emotional thinking and I must stop this. And stop this I did. I blocked all their profiles on IG and FB to prevent myself from looking at them and deleted Twitter app from my phone because blocking on Twitter is less effective technically. I don’t need to continually prove to myself he’s an arse. He’s a narcissist (again, confirmed by HG), that’s all I need to know. I have escaped and work my way towards total freedom.
Yet again, excellent assistance package, HG. Very practical, pragmatic and easy to use. Get it, guys. It goes beyond the information available on the blog.
You are welcome. The Addiction APs are extremely important to anybody committed to escaping the narcissist.
HG, this is exquisite. I just put kids to sleep, had a large glass of Amarone and listened to this AP all at once. Absolutely essential, it answered many questions I was preparing for the audio consultation – so actually it saved money on top of saving sanity. The examples are my favorite part. You really see through the minds of the empaths.
Guys, if it’s about the money, just skip one night of dining out and buy this AP instead. You won’t regret it. It tastes better.
I would like to share my own example of applying this AP, but I’ll post it in a separate comment that HG may choose to weed out in case he feels it gives away too much of the information regarding ET tackling package.
Thank you DH.
I really want this , too 🙂 , HG
Be my guest.
HG. Tell me the steps to add it to cart ….do I need to add your PayPal contact ?
Dear Lorelei,
I just saw the movie “1917” and one of the lines that resonated with me was “it doesn’t do to dwell on it ”
How true !
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
That is logic.
Dear Mr Tudor,
Correct, many fail to use it !
Have you seen 1917 by any chance?
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Not yet, I will.
Dearest Lorelei,
None of us were given instruction manuals on parenting
We all make mistakes and strive to do our best at any one given time
Please FORGIVE yourself and move on ….. no one is perfect
The thing is Lorelei, is to LEARN from those mistakes
Kids are very resilient and forgiving, they’re actually smarter than we give them credit for
You will do MORE damage as a parent being overridden with guilt by not giving of yourself effectively
Going backwards is a bad place to be, you certainly don’t want to stay there where all the mistakes are
Let them see the new improved “guilt free” mum they know and love ❤️
A bath is ok now and then but showers are way better 😊
All the best precious one
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Is this becoming the “pay for reed” blog?
No, it’s nowhere near a river.
Oh! also (I speak to this bc I’ve lived/live it) – not only does guilt serve to push ya to do better, be better- parents..not only is ot impossible to grasp the whole evolutionary picture of us and our children from this trauma,not only is guilt the ET / Addiction voice—- it’s also our narc traits in action- bringing the issue back to US and making it about US.
The guilt is a huge opportunity to grow
I finished it last night HG. I very nearly think I am making myself worse with guilt. Constantly ruminating over my failures to address the dysfunction before it spiraled into a hell. Consumed with hindsight as a platform for martyrdom, sadness, more guilt. I can’t imagine not feeling guilty for the lack of parenting. The sadness is immeasurable. I’m stuck. I really hate this. I like the bathtub analogy.
Lorelei
If you keep on this path, a year from now you will be consumed with the time wasted on guilt. Stop the madness! It’s not time well spent. You can’t change it. Shit happened and you’re out. If you waste any more time on it, what was the point in getting out?
I agree—I am stuck in guilt. Maybe HG can figure it out. I’m not happy about it.
Lorelei
Listen to NarcAngel. If you can’t figure it out then consult with HG.
Hi K. I just woke up to a busy Narcsite day I see. I don’t think I replied to you yet—I’m tired. Yes it’s the guilt that I keep going back to. I don’t know if HG can stomp it out. It’s insane. I feel better and life is better and then guilt is activated by either my oldest daughter or my son. (Not from them but from my memory of my lack of capacity to be “present” toward them and it spirals) It’s not healthy or helpful at all. It’s interesting how we/I can know something but not wish away the dysfunction. It does allow me to pinpoint a time when things really got almost desperate and I started to unravel—after my son was born I really had to work harder to compensate for my ex’s abusiveness—this led to me not being particularly connected and going through the motions. (I started having affairs to gain some emotional support after my son was born—it diverted my focus from being a better parent, two affairs were memorable) It also time stamps when I ceased being effective to parent my oldest. I know ruminating over the history is not helpful but the reminders are frequent. I also know that I didn’t know. That I grew up in it so it was status quo. I know I know I know. There is a profound self flagellation though that is impeding or keeping me stuck. I am not so stuck that good things aren’t happening of course, but I’m emotionally halted in a more positive manner by having this go on and on. It’s like emotional OCD.
Lorelei
You are stuck in a rut (emotional OCD) and you need help getting out, so rather than waste precious time, energy and effort just bite the bullet and arrange a consult. Self-flagellation is detrimental to your well-being.
Get on the horn to HG; you’ll feel so much better.
Lorelei, I understand the guilt you feel when you say you had a lack of capacity to be “present” in your kid’s life. It’s normal to feel that way but hanging onto the guilt just distracts you in a different way. You’re out of the N relationship so give them 100% of you now. You cant change the past and they don’t benefit from the guilt you feel.
Mercy
Correct. Lorelei, listen to Mercy. Guilt isn’t doing you any favors. Let it go.
One of the things I’ve been posting on news sites is a defense of poor Harry. Outraged Brits are going on about how stupid he is, and I pointed out that even if he isn’t the brightest bulb on the tree, narcissists have fooled even experienced psychiatrists. They can be very charming–at first.
Then, of course, I direct them here.
My point is none of us would have been ensnared had we known what we were dealing with. We are victims of brain rape: no matter what we were wearing or our previous history, no one had or has the right to treat us like that. It’s embarrassing, you don’t want people to blame you or think you’re stupid because you were tricked or think you’re a wuss because you didn’t fight back, or didn’t fight enough, blah blah.
As Olivia Benson on SVU likes to say, “You did the right thing. You saved your life.”
In your case, you also saved your kids’ lives.
Recovery will hurt and take time, but so do many necessary procedures. Think of your ex as a tumor. Maybe you’re trained to.spot malignancies, but there were no obvious visible signs. You might wish you’d caught the growth sooner, but be glad it’s out and can’t metastasize any further.
Or in terms of elective procedures, as one woman said of her ex-husband, “I’ve just lost a few hundred pounds of ugly fat.”
Violetta—Whocares commented earlier today that this issue (ET) will make intelligent people not be able to find their way out of a paper bag. I have never thought I was dumb until this. I can’t believe all of it. So, it’s unkind to say he’s an idiot absolutely. I’m glad you’ve been posting in reply.
Good comment Violetta, supportive for former IPPS’s and others who have experienced the de-humanising effects of ensnarement.
“…this issue (ET) will make intelligent people not be able to find their way out of a paper bag.”
I completely agree with this. Addiction does just that and it does not discriminate based on intelligence; I don’t think this aspect is very different whether it’s a drug or a person. I tortured myself sick with guilt and self-hatred over doing (or not doing) some of the things my addiction made me, literally sick with anxiety, depression and physical symptoms. It did help to finally take the necessary steps to get out of it but the lingering, persistent guilt and disappointment did not help at all afterward. The narc won’t suffer those things because they don’t feel the guilt and responsibility. So I completely agree with the comments above that once you are out, just focus on staying that way and on doing things better in the present/future. Yes, recovery hurts and sometimes more than still being trapped, because there is no illusion or anything to anesthetize us any longer.
One thing some people like to do during recovery from addiction is making amends to people that were affected as part of the collateral damage. If it’s your children, having a good honest conversation with them (at an age where it can be received properly) might be a good thing, also to make them aware that these things can happen and if you were susceptible, perhaps they could be as well. Much easier to prevent it than to cure it. The important thing though is to do it in a way that the ex has absolutely no influence and no way to twist it, to invalidate it. Not to sound too passionate either because others can misperceive that as obsession and manipulation.
Lorelie, Acknowledge, forgive yourself and move forward at the pace for you. There is no other way.
Don’t let the bastard in your head rent free.
I understand logically but this almost “backslide” has a life of its own. It’s more my disbelief at all of it—more me. He’s not even really a person to me. I’m more appalled by myself. He’s disgusting though. I cringe when he pulls in my driveway.
Lorelei:
If you’d been attacked by a shark would you blame yourself for being all juicy and tasty?
You might decide to avoid a particular beach because a lot of sharks congregate there; accordingly, you might avoid online dating because a lot of narcs congregate there. You might follow advice never to swim at night since you might not be able to spot them from a distance; accordingly, you might avoid certain clubs festering with wall-to-wall PUA wanna-be’s, and you can’t even hit the bathroom without running a gauntlet of them.
We’d all like to turn back time and not make that decision, but unless you saw a sign saying, in large friendly letters, “DANGER! SHARKS IN THESE WATERS! DO NOT SWIM HERE!” and promptly dove in nose first, there is no freaking way you could have been prepared for what you were dealing with.
I could say I missed the red flags, or I ignored them because I didn’t want to see him for what he was, but the truth is, the first step is learning what the red flags are so we can identify them.
If there was a Narcsite in my world at the time and I had ignored it, I might blame myself, but there wasn’t and I didn’t. And neither did you.
Violetta—very helpful & thoughtful analogy. I know logically that being stuck is not helpful—it is an intrusive gateway to misery. I’m just absolutely appalled at times of how point A went to point Z. It’s exacerbated by reflection, comparisons, etc.
Also we aren’t consciously omnipresent, we cannot know the life evolution our children are undertaking. Trauma is opportunity to grow heal evolve. Yes we put our children in an a usher situation. We didn’t mean to. Because we are Empaths, we have chosen a life of evolution – so our karmic inheritance from that “mistake” is the guilt – we allow oats the guilt by making up for it- this assisting our children to evolve into more empathic ppl.
We can’t see the bigger picture while we are in physical mind body .
But it IS obvious to see every choices is sat upon ten million other choices. Nobody escapes life without trauma. Use the guilt to become more empathic and let the rest of it go ❤️
That would be what we in AA call
“The Addiction talking”
Try to recognize it
HG The final installment in this trio of assistance packages is excellent and highly useful in any situation when dealing with ET. I am annoyingly logical, yet I have come to realize that I still engage in ET and have done so on too many occasions in the past. No one is immune (except you perhaps). This series will be very helpful for every reader, regardless of their circumstances and I highly recommend this series to all. Thank you again for creating this insightful package.
You are most welcome.
I agree FYC. Loved, loved the third installment, HG! Your analogies aid my understanding immensely. The visuals you describe with the taps and the bathtub solidify your message and make it seem more achievable. I wish I had this when my ET was rampant. Those currently struggling, you need this. Now!
Thank you MB. I am pleased you have found it so useful, many people have emailed me to say just how ground breaking this is and how they wished they too had access to this material earlier. Indeed, one person contacted me to suggest the work should be available on the NHS in the UK, such is its value. I recommend people take advantage of the discounted rate before it goes up.
The ones is the throes of their ensnarement are fortunate to have the information readily available. Priceless! Crucial to obtaining freedom.
“one person contacted me to suggest the work should be available on the NHS in the UK, such is its value”- absolutely, HG. Yet, they can obtain it (buy the package) for their specialist teams ie mental health, A&E, therapists and so on and deliver it as part of training. Alas, when it comes to training and choice of additional (voluntary) for GPs, they may not think about obtaining your assistance packages to assist them in their job at recognising victims of abuse (or patients that are narcissists). The time-slots allocated to GPs does not permit for the doctors to pay much ‘attention’ to the patients during surgery times.
It’s on the short list HG
I know I need this but will it make me want to leave the site? I’ll miss my friends here. I think I am more addicted to KTN than to MRN at this point.
No, this is actually addressed in the AP.
HG—I really wish I could be less emotional. I despise feeling like a crazy person.
Hi,
Just what I need but I do have a question. I read the descriptions for the 3 addiction and ET packages but just wondering if this one covers the info in the other 2 or do all three have separate content.
Hello Susan, all three have separate but linked content and should be used together to achieve the maximum effect.
Thank you. Need all the help I can get on the topics. And from your perspective – priceless.
You are welcome.
Am I missing something? There are 3? I thought just 2. Sigh..
HG. I am going to claim you as a dependent on my taxes this year. You need to become a charity so we can write all this off. Or figure out a way to charge back our N’s…….
Of course I couldn’t resist and had to buy this one too! On the spot.
It’s ‘Tudor January’ for me: three assistance packages and a consultation…ha ha.
2020 is off to a solid start for you EmP.
I’m sure it is HG!
Take my money, HG!
Take my assistance package, MB!
I don’t mind if I do!
Haha – MB & HG!
Can I have some MB. I’m broke after an illegal smuggling operation.