All In The Eyes


The eyes are one of our powerful weapons. I hear so many comments made about my eyes.

“I saw the world in your eyes.”
“Everything I ever wished for, I could see in your eyes.”
“I’ve never known anyone give me such a malevolent stare.”
“You are dead behind the eyes.”
“That hollow look you give me, chills me inside.”
“Your reptilian, empty stare always unnerved me.”

When we first engage with you, we are able to reflect back at you want you desperately want. Hope, optimism, desire and trust are all mirrored in our eyes. Do not be mistaken and think that we generate those looks. We do not. All we are doing is ensuring that you see what you want to see in order to ensnare you.

This mirroring serves two purposes. Firstly, it shows you what you crave for and makes us all the more attractive to you. Secondly, it masks the empty void that truly exists. Whilst my kind and me learn how to behave and act, we mimic the way in which we are expected to respond in the most favourable manner, we do not truly feel any of those things and we cannot generate it in our eyes.

Everything else we are able to simulate – the laugh, the smile, the look of surprise, the intonation of elation in our voices. We have carefully crafted these facsimiles of your emotions but managing to do so in our eyes has always eluded us. We cannot fall at the first hurdle however and have you see through our charade. Accordingly, we have managed to master the mirroring technique.

You want that love and hope so badly you will see it in us when you are really just seeing yourself. We hold your gaze for longer than anyone else. You are conned into thinking this is just demonstrating the intensity of our desire for you. It is not. We must look directly into your eyes to shine back at you that which you send towards us. Should we look way, the reflection may fail and we must always have you in our eye.

As with all of our pretence we are unable to maintain this deceit for long. The mirror breaks and the shards of reflection fall away leaving the chasm of emotionlessness behind. The barren hinterland beyond our eyes is all that is left, bereft of anything at all. That is why in the later stages you will see nothing when you look at us. We cannot generate those real emotions and our mirror has now failed. Our real gaze is all that is left, cold, empty and lifeless.

People often remark about how the eyes are the window to the soul. Our soul left long ago and that is why you look into dead, uncaring eyes. Even though our mouth is upturned in a smile, the crows feet at the sides crease and the brow rises, our eyes betray us. Glacial and sterile they show the reality of what we are; devoid of positive emotion and spiritually bankrupt.

All that we are able to muster is hatred. Our loathing of this unjust world is so intense that it will break through when we wish to direct that hatred against you. That is when the emptiness vanishes and instead you are subjected to our laser-like, pinpoint accurate malevolent stare. I mentioned in the recollection about the cookie jar, how I had practised my withering stare one summer.

This is the precursor to our malice, our antipathy and our scorn. With consummate ease we will call on it to intimidate you and signal our contempt for you. It is powerful, unwavering and unsettling. To be on the receiving end of our hateful stare is not a pleasant experience. We muster such power with our eyes, to seduce you and then to break you, but the reality is that we only have three settings. The mirror, the void and the hatred. There is nothing else. That is all that our eyes have.

11 thoughts on “All In The Eyes

  1. Why me? says:


    1. Why does the narcissist’s eyes go black?

    2. What are they thinking while they go black and staring at you?

  2. guera714 says:

    When my husband was arrested for domestic violence I will never forget his mug shot photo. His brown cocoa eyes that used to gaze at me with such intense love were completely black. I will never forget how chilling it was. Actually I did forget because I took him back. That was before I found your site. Now I know I need to get out.

  3. KA says:

    My ex Narc used to kiss with his eyes open – why is this, please HG? – and how creepy is that? Once I noticed, I paid attention – and then saw he did it all the time.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There is no intimate connection and therefore his response is not one based on an intimate connection. There is a disconnect between situation and response. It is similar, for instance, to you crying and the narcissist just looking at you blankly because that particular narcissist does not have a pre-set, learned response to that situation.

  4. WiserNow2 says:

    Toward the end of my relationship with my ex-narc, he had moved into the bedroom upstairs and was having an affair w/a much younger woman. I was devastated. We had been married for 12 years. One night I was downstairs weeping and could not contain myself. He came downstairs to hold and comfort me and acted like he was sorry to have caused my heartbreak. Even had a sympathetic look in his usually cold dark eyes.

    What did he do this, HG? This is the only “kind” thing he had done in months.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      To control you through the exhibition of False Contrition. The extent of your misery signalled a threat to his control over you (his narcissism detected you might leave) and this exhibition of supposed support and kindness was a Preventative Hoover.

      1. Ellen Tallent says:

        Fascinating. Thank you.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

  5. The Girl Next Door says:

    His eyes were firmly shut during sex.

  6. Em says:

    He’d call his ensnaring and charming eye contact, his Paddington bear stare.
    He had eyes like a shark. Black and cold.

  7. Esther says:

    This is gooooood! Thank you!!

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