A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 8

ILHGT´S LETTER

 

Dear Lesser Narcissist,

Remember how wonderful it used to be? How much we were in love. How you treated me like a princess. The romance, flowers, jewelry, and making love. Oh wait you don’t remember. Oh that’s right, none of that ever happened. What really happened?

Let me refresh your memory.

Remember when I was only 13 and you got me pregnant you told me to have an abortion because I was only 5ft2 and 90 pounds and that having a baby would kill me? So I had the abortion. And then I lied to my parents about it.

I felt shame.

Remember when you grabbed me by my neck and choked me unconscious?

Remember when you pointed the gun to my face and then went outside and fired it off?

Remember when you kicked me in the side of the face?

Remember when you would punch holes in the wall?

I felt scared.

Remember when you had sex with me while I was passed out drunk?

I felt violated.

Remember when you were driving and you said “Do you want to die?” And I leaned over and slammed my foot on the gas pedal and jerked the wheel and I said “We are all going to die.” You said “You are fucking crazy.”

Remember when I slashed the tires on my own car?

Remember when I was driving down the street and you kept running your mouth? You kept calling me a sore loser over and over and you wouldn’t stop. So I slammed on the brakes and punched you in the face. You said “Ouch! Have you been working out?” I was laughing and crying.

Remember when I smashed my car into your car? Good Times!

I felt like a crazy person.

Remember when you ripped off those guys and they whipped your ass with a fan belt? I had never seen you cry before.

I felt sorry for you.

Remember when you shared me with your friend because you owed him money?

Remember how we always watched porn?

Remember how tiny your dick was? I do.

Remember when you would tell your friends they could have sex with me if they paid you $20 dollars  then you would get mad at them for saying yes?

Remember how you always accused me of wanting to have sex with other guys, just because I was talking to them?

Remember when I cheated on you? I slept with your brother. Well I have a confession. I slept with both of your brothers.

I felt nothing.

Remember how you still live at home with your mommy?

Remember when I finally left you?

Remember when you try to scare my new boyfriend away and he kicked your ass? So I married him.

Remember when you told me not to push my religious beliefs onto to you? And I said don’t worry because when I die and go to heaven you are the last person I want to see there. I meant it.

Remember how you didn’t want to pay child support, so we had custody battles until our daughter turned 18?

Do you remember?

Well it doesn’t matter anyway. There is no reason to bring up the past.

If I send this it will just cause a hoover and give you fuel. You see I have read some of HG Tudor’s books and he taught me about narcissist. Oh never mind you wouldn’t understand. It is really unfortunate that you became what you are. I forgive you. Don’t think that I am being soft or that I give a crap about you.

I am crazy remember.

Feeling content.

So where is the delete button?

Sincerely,

Narcis…. I mean Empath

 

Deleted.

8 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 8

  1. Tired says:

    I agree with Kim’s comment as well.
    Can’t imagine going through all you’ve endured. You’re one strong woman!
    Glad to hear you have a good support network, it makes such a difference.
    {{{{{ HUG }}}}}

  2. Forever Serene says:

    Thank you Kim e.

    My wounds from that relationship are completely healed and I am at peace.

    I have had a few setbacks over the years with other narcissists that have come into my life. I have made many mistakes and I have learned many lessons the hard way.

    I have accepted that some people are not meant to be in my life forever. I am currently in the process of healing my most recent wounds which are still tender.

    I continue to move forward and work on my healing process. I choose not to hold on to the pain. I have made peace with those that I have hurt and those who have hurt me. I forgive them.

    I have learned a lot about myself. I know my worth. I work on setting boundaries and not seeking approval and validation from others.

    I attempt to keep my distance from toxic people. However, occasionally I get fooled but I recognize the red flags and behavior a lot faster now.

    And I currently have a great support network of family and friends who genuinely love and respect me.

    1. Anm says:

      4eve Serena,
      I remember reading this a while back ago. It was one of my favorites. I didn’t know who wrote it though. Please tell me, the guy who beat up the narcissist, was he also a narcissist, or was he a good guy?

      1. Forever Serene says:

        Anm,

        At first I thought he was a good guy however, over the years certain toxic behaviors appeared. According to HG he was more than likely a Midrange narcissist.

        I had a hard time accepting that because I really wanted the relationship to work. I wanted to believe that he could change. I didn’t want to believe that I had been fooled for so many years.

        I spent a lot of time consulting with HG trying to understand what I was dealing with.

        Finally, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t need to understand why he treated me the way he did. It really didn’t matter if he was a narcissist or just a guy having a bad day.

        The fact was his behavior was causing me pain and he wasn’t willing to change.

        I had to take a deep look inside myself and I realized I deserve to be treated better. The only person I can change is me. I had to let go.

    2. Kim e says:

      Forever Serene,
      I am so happy to hear this. Set backs are expected in life but it sounds like you are handling them well. Remember it is no the bad things in life that define us, but how we react to them.

  3. Renarde says:

    Holy motherfucking shit.

    Ignore EVERYTHING he did. Right now. You have so much internalised stress it’s off the scale.

    You aborted a child and honey, you were a child yourself. Peadophile. Peado. Rapist.

    Keep those words in your heart. A peadophile rapist.

    You lost your child. You poor love. Never regret what you did. I just want to give you such a massive hug.

    I hope the Goddess grant’s you peace. You certainly deserve it.

    Get help for your obvious child abuse. Either at one of your parents or a close significant other. Report, if you can.

    Bless you.

  4. Kim e says:

    The fact that you are alive to write this letter is a testament to your inner strength. He might have badly bruised you but he did not break you
    Hope you are well now 🌹

    1. Caron says:

      I second Kim’s comment. You lived through hell already. Nothing should ever scare you again. I stand in awe of your fierce spirit!

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