The Futility of Your Feelings
Feelings are an unnecessary burden and thankfully I have been relieved of many of them, being left only with those which are deemed necessary to enable me to pursue the harvesting of fuel. Feelings blur and weaken. How many times have you heard your alarm go off in the morning and you have rolled over feeling like you do not want to get up? Many times I should imagine. That feeling of apprehension about what the day holds for you, despondency at what has happened to you and dread about what you have to do weakens you and holds you back. You spend much of your life in the pursuit of this notion of happiness but are you ever truly happy? Do you look at what you have and wish you had more? Do you look at other people around you and imagine how happy they must be and you wish that you were more like them? All you achieve is bitterness. Perhaps you do feel happy but as the empath that you are you see those who you regard as less happy than you and you wish that they could be more like you. All you achieve is vanity. You spend so much of your time seeking to be happy and then you worry about whether it is fleeting in nature. You express concern that you just want to be happy and spend more and more time trying to achieve this state of nirvana. You suffer from feeling sadness which leads to paralysis and indecision. You feel frustrated which sucks up your energy and leaves you feeling spent. You take pride in your ability to feel and to be able to feel on behalf of others yet all you are doing is allowing yourself to be burdened. Why bother pursuing those feelings which are regarded as positive, such as joy, happiness and elation? Is the effort truly worth it when you get there only for it to be a fleeting moment which then casts you into despondency? What was the point of that? Why allow yourself to be mired in upset, misery and dejection? You achieve nothing as you slowly sink into a quagmire of such negativity. Your feelings deceive you, press down on you and above all else allow us to manipulate you. It is because you feel this array of emotions that you provide us with emotional reactions. Of course you know that these emotional reactions create my fuel. Your feelings are to blame.
I never acquired these feelings. This is because the pursuit of fuel cannot be distracted by these cumbersome emotions. They serve no purpose and thus were never developed. I am built for the acquisition of fuel and nothing else. I am an efficient design, single-minded and driven. All excess baggage was not jettisoned, it was never stowed on board to begin with. I am not wholly without feelings. I have been developed in a way to allow certain feelings, those that aid my purpose, to come to the fore. I feel fury which ensures that I can exert control over other people and thus extract fuel from them. I feel envy which drives me on to strip away those traits from other people which I need to create my construct. If I felt no envy, I would not want these characteristics – thus this feeling serves a purpose. There is no superfluous feeling connected with me. I feel jealousy which again causes me to strive to better that person by lauding my own achievements and prompting a reaction which garners positive fuel or by berating the person of whom I am jealous and thus I harvest negative fuel. I feel hatred. This allows me to see everything as it truly is. Hatred hones and brings into sharp focus the reality of this cruel world and thus I am better able to navigate my way through it. Hatred is visceral, it is not fluffy or amorphous. It does not cloud or blur. It is direct, straight to the point and electrifying in its capacity to allow me to always go forward. All of these feelings and ones of a similar nature have been fashioned around me to assist me in my quest for fuel. Each one discharges a method of enabling me to gather fuel so that I can feel the ultimate emotion. My pursuit of fuel is predicated on the use of these various emotions with the sole purpose of allowing me to feel that emotion which I prize above all others.
I feel powerful.
I am powerful.
39 thoughts on “The Futility of Your Feelings”
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HG,
I understand narcissists feel envy, jealousy, but if they don’t care that we have “ feelings “ why do they feel it necessary to rain on our parade when they see us happy? To generate negative fuel for themselves, or because they are jealous that we can experience joy and they can’t?
If it’s due to jealousy then to me it contradicts the mindset that narcs don’t want to have the feelings that we are capable of. Either they want them or they don’t, can’t have it both ways. IMHO.
Control. Your contentment threatens our sense of control, hence the reaction. It also stems from the fact that narcissists do not experience a sense of contentment and therefore are envious of seeing it in others.
Of course the narcissist wants it both ways, that is part of being a narcissist.
HG,
Thank you.
Surely, true power is feeling independent and confident in who you are. Knowing you are not perfect but good enough, and knowing your family and friends love you for all your positive qualities and in spite of your faults. Surely this is an easier way to to live. Your world seems so hollow, tiresome and so lonely.
To you, not to me.
Because of your cracked lens of perception on life, caused by the lack of love and care you received as an infant.
You could alter this if you are brave and strong enough to discuss your childhood abuse with your therapists. Many people do this, why can’t you?
You are incorrect Mariel.
1. My lens is not cracked. It is my lens. Your lens appears cracked to me. There is no objective right or wrong with regard to perspective.
2. My perception does not arise solely from the “lack of love and care I received as an infant”- It arises from a genetic predisposition and a lack of control environment.
3. I do talk about my childhood abuse. It will make no difference. You cannot change or heal or alter a narcissist and to think otherwise is a lack of understanding and often the effect of emotional thinking.
I think that you use genetic predisposition as an excuse.
Talking about the abuse is not enough, you need to talk about how you felt as the child and how you feel now as the adult about the abuse. You must be willing to face your vulnerabilities, and allow the creature to rise.
Perception can be wrong, it depends on where you are standing, what you are able to see.
Why not live an authentic life?
Surely power and money are not your ultimate aims in life.
Incorrect. It is not an excuse, it is precisely part of the reason why I am, what I am.
Your intentions are likely constructive but the suggestion is futile. Talking about how I felt as a child and now as an adult will never alter what I am. It is too late. What will change matters is the execution of the Grand Design.
I lead an effective life. That is what matters.
Exactly H.G. the best friend you will ever have is the dollar in you pocket. It will not do you wrong unless you spend it wrong. No one else should ever be trusted.
This was so well written and inspiring. I am the epitome of empathy, and a victim of savage manipulation by my coworkers, lovers, friends, and family. Fuck my feelings.
This line in particular was especially eye-opening:
“You take pride in your ability to feel and to be able to feel on behalf of others yet all you are doing is allowing yourself to be burdened.”
So glad I found your site today, about to buy some of your books. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience with this site. Teach me your ways, Mr. Tudor!
Welcome on board and thank you for the compliments, you’ll learn an immense amount of knowledge here.
Is there any chance it will ignite a furry in this one?
Powerful? Hardly…once you’re unplugged from your refinery, you’re as useful as dead computer. Take away your trappings and you whimper. Take away your Empath’s and you’ll sit with one thumb up your ass and the other in your mouth not knowing what to do. Pitiful not Powerful, wrong once again as you sit on your shitty throne.
Are you liking your own comments?
Well I don’t see you doing it.
Nor will you.
This is the only clever thing you have said so far.
Why is a simple observation when stated clever? No wonder I made Bill Engvall so wealthy with just one of my writings.
I don’t know who Bill Engvall is, nor do I care.
Njfilly
Bill Engvall is a mediocre comedian who is only rich because his other comedian friends (Jeff Foxworthy being one) allowed him to be the weakest link in their Blue Collar Comedy Tour. His material makes the others look better.
NA,
Thank you for this information.
I have no doubt he is, at best, mediocre since I now know where he obtains some of his material.
“Stupid people really irritate me…why don’t we just give them a sign that says ‘stupid’ here’s your sign”
True. I couldn’t resist liking his comment.
Yes. He’s very difficult and frankly, not worth the effort.
You write this as if there isn’t a new Empath born ever day.
There are not born everyday, normal and Narcs are that is why I am so mean. It’s a war
My gosh, if you refuse to learn from HG, then please at least try Sun Tzu.
Why not Frederich Nietzsche I’m fond of his work.
He’s less about strategy, just like you.
Chaos theory
Dear Christian,
War with whom ?
Any why ?
Bubbles
HG I just realised the Somatic made me feel safe by controlling all aspects of my life. I felt like I had a safety net. Like I wasn’t solely accountable for my decisions.
That is emotional thinking.
Thank you HG the God. All my thinking is Emotional. I have zero objectivity.
Guess what HG? The Somatic is lower greater. I have evidence from your books Match the Manipulations and Revenge.
I doubt that he is from what you have written.
Thank you my God. You are the pioneer, expert and genius.
HG, the Somatic told me he was a Narcissist and described provoking people to get a reaction and also his need for control, and he identified other people as Narcissists and explained why.
He said he never told anyone the things he told me.
He is totally calculated, my friend said so.
Since you said he’s not a greater type now I think he’s not a Narcissist. Only Narcissistic.