We repeatedly provoke. The act of provocation is one which is designed to cause a strong and often unwelcome emotion in the recipient. On one level, it can be said that everything we do is provocative because we are always looking to cause you to be emotional, to react in an emotional fashion to what we do and as a consequence give us the fuel that we need. Thus when we tell you that we have finally found our soul mate, we are provoking you into generating an intense feeling of being loved (or at least thinking that you are being loved) which causes you to exhibit your love towards us and thus we gain our fuel. We pay a friend a compliment in order to provoke that person into at least thanking us, thus a small dollop of positive fuel or more hopefully (and indeed more likely because this empathic secondary source is well-mannered, honest and decent) we pay them a compliment so they will pay one to us and thus more fuel is garnered. There is no unconditional giving with our kind. We only give to receive.

Thus all of the things that we say and do, the manipulations, the chicanery, the machinations and the mind games are all designed to provoke you into giving us fuel. However, in its strictest sense, we provoke you in order to generate that intense response and one which is negative in nature. We provoke you so that you will explode in anger, erupt in a stream of profane insults and vent your frustration through a slap to the face or a mug hurled towards us.

We will push and push and push. Yes, many of you have a remarkable capacity to absorb these pointy sticks which jab you. Your kind are well-versed and skilled in the turning of the cheek, the adoption of the high ground and the making of allowances. You will bury the hatchet and we will dig it up again in order to give you a dig from the sharp point. You will let bygones be bygones and we will resurrect the memory of an age-old issue in order to rankle you.

Nothing is off limits in terms of provoking you. It might be focusing on a vulnerability of yours that we know about (having acquired this information when we seduced you) so that we remind you of a frightening episode from your childhood or capitalise on your terror of spiders. It might be homing in on your sensitivity about the size of your nose, the shape of your head, the bright red of your embarrassment. If you owe us money, we shall remind you of it and comment on your poor financial position. We may flirt because we know how much you hate the notion of us being unfaithful. We may repeatedly turn up late because you are an advocate of punctuality. We may criticise your parents, your choice of film, your culinary skills, your attempts to loser weight; whatever we have identified as a means for causing you to erupt at us we will do it.

We know which buttons to press. We have a knack and an instinct for doing so. This is because we are able to gather information about you when we seduce you which will be stored away and used against you at a later stage. This is also because empathic individuals are more likely to respond in an emotional fashion. Yes, you will soak it up at first by making allowances for our behaviour and indeed making excuses, exhibiting this selfless understanding for which you are famed. This will not dissuade us. We know that everybody has a limit of what they can take before they snap. Sometimes it is bursting into tears, running from the room or screaming. Other times it is exploding with a volley of curses, coming at us with flailing arms or shouting and screaming at the top of your voice about how awful we are.

Push, prod, niggle. Aggravate, rile, irritate. Ruffle, vex, bug. Irk incense and annoy. We will chip away at your defences, jabbing and poking as we look to make your blood boil, get on your nerves, get under your skin,  work you into lather and try your patience until you can take no more. We can sense the emotion rising in you. We notice the slight tells, the narrowing of the eyes, the rolling of the eyes, the sighs, the shake of the head, the hands on the hips, the raised palm, the jutting jaw and so on. The more you try to tell us that we are not getting to you, the more we are encouraged. We know that your emotion is building up inside of you. We know that it is increasing and no matter how much you are trying to maintain that cool exterior, we understand what is building up.

We not only have a medley of ways by which we provoke you, but we are experts in choosing precisely the best (worst) time to engage in this behaviour. Do any of these instances seem familiar?

When you are trying to get ready to go out.

When you are trying to have a telephone conversation with somebody else.

When you are trying to cook.

When you are trying to perform some chore.

When you are trying to get to sleep.

When you first come through the door after a long day.

When sat next to us in the car on a long journey.

When sat across from us in a restaurant.

When at some event of your choosing.

We will pick an inopportune time to commence our provocation so that you are caught off guard, when you are tired, when you are hungry, when you are anxious or stressed. The moment must be right for us and wholly inappropriate for you and then we can unleash the relevant form of provocation. We know what really gets to you. It may be the subject matter. It might be the way of conveying it, for instance patronising you or acting in a condescending fashion. It could be jabbing you with a finger on the shoulder to punctuate or words or giving you a dig in the back as you lie on your side in bed, after each savage sentence.

Eventually comes the eruption. You can only take so much and invariably when this provocation comes allied with an emotional state which makes you more susceptible to our provocations the explosion is all the more satisfying. Copious amounts of negative fuel fountain from you as you shout, scream, bang doors, slam your hand on the work top, swear and so forth. Inside we are soaring with the power that comes from the provision of this most excellent fuel. You, the paragon of virtue, the most patient of saints has been brought to boiling point and we achieved it. You have responded to our control. Our superiority is once again affirmed, we are the puppetmasters, we are omnipotent in our actions and you have responded as we wanted. Such marvellous fuel that sprays from you and we relish every drop.

Of course as it fountains and flows from you we will not want it to stop and the provocation will continue. Not only are we ensuring that we get to bathe in your overflowing fuel, we are using this eruption as evidence of how unhinged you are. Do not be surprised if this niggling, poking provocation occurs where others will see it. You can expect the whispered and insidious provocations to be used, the acts which are open to interpretation (although we both full well know exactly what was meant by our remark, our look or our gesture) and our good friend plausible deniability will be given an airing.

“Who me officer? I did nothing. She just exploded. I get this all the time, she has an anger management problem. John here will confirm she just went mental and started hitting me.” (Cue obliging Lieutenant).

“I don’t know what gets into her dad, she just erupts. You saw what she was like at mum’s birthday party. That is what I have to live with.”

“I feel sorry for you Mrs Johnson, having a daughter with a temper like that.”

We will provoke you. We will draw the delicious fuel that you will provide to us and then we will use your eruption against you as evidence of your unhinged mind, nasty temperament and unbalanced mental state.

Provocation is a mainstay of our behaviour. It comes in many forms, it is used in many different ways and on a range of occasions but its effects are always the same.

  1. The provision of a massive dose of negative fuel from a primary source;
  2. The exertion of control over you;
  3. The reinforcement of our image of superiority, lack of accountability and omnipotence;
  4. The creation of an emotional state in you which hampers your ability to think clearly and logically;
  5. The creation of a situation where you can later be made to feel guilty for erupting in the way you have at us;
  6. The manufacturing of a scenario which is used to reinforce our façade – we were calm and bewildered by this outburst.
  7. The manufacturing of a scenario which is used to smear you to third parties.

Provocation is a very useful tool to us. It is used extensively and repeatedly. Know why it is being used. Do not try to outlast it and exert your capability for patience, tolerance and understanding. You are just goading us to try harder. Remove yourself before your threshold is reached to avoid giving us points 1-7 above.

Provocation will always be used against you.

Anyway, who do you think you are looking at?

115 thoughts on “Provocation

  1. Kim e says:

    Hi. Figured a title like Provocation would be a good thread to catch up on. I have not seen you post except to answer a few comments regrding George Floyd.
    What is up woman?

  2. ava101 says:

    I was in a grocery shop yesterday, where a guy was loudly doling out full on abuse on the phone to whomever. Maybe he did forget where he was, or he thought that noone there would understand his language — well, I did, and as my heart rate went up hearing those really horrible things he said (like, even by narc standards), I shouted at him to take his aggressive behaviour elsewhere and not disturb me shopping. He looked at me astonished, then actually went away to another aisle, and went on abusing the poor person on the phone. Later, he came close to where I was to get vegetables, — but stayes away as far away as he good, just got really quickly his vegetable and then left …. …..

    1. lisk says:

      Nice work, ava101! Risky, but nice!

  3. Kiki says:

    What’s happening in the state’s is really sad to see.
    The looters , rioters and vandals are an absolute disgrace . their motivation is an excuse for antisocial behaviour and vandalism of Others property.and OBVIOUSLY not black peoples rights

    Absolute thugs..

    It is Neanderthal
    A shamed embarrassment of humanity and anyone with even half a frontal cortex brain cell.


  4. Empath007 says:

    H.G. I would be extremely interested in hearing your thoughts on what is happening in our world right now. In particular, The US and the Rasicm our black community is facing. From the cops behaviours to the behaviours of those rioting in the streets being vulgar as well.

    I see well minded caring people on my social media feed who want to help… who want to be a part of the solution. I keep thinking as I read their well thought our posts that only HG has the answer(s)… and that the answers aren’t easy. Because people do not understand narcissim…they do not really understand (part of – if not the root of the issues). What advice could you give to people about how to respond ? Should we all be taking our own approach ? Peaceful protests ? Donating money to appropriate organizations ? How can black peoples and their supporters affect change ?Obviously everyone needs to make individual choices.

    It would be great to hear your perspective. While I can’t endorse who you are and what you do to people…. your advice literally saves lives. It’s been the most life changing advice (for me personally) that I’ve recieved. Thank you for offering us all an inside look at narcissim.

    If you’ve posted your thoughts already. My apologies. I have not yet seen them.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If time permits, I shall be writing about it.

      1. Empath007 says:

        Understandable. Thank you 🤗

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

    2. MB says:

      Empath007, my vote is for HG to have the opportunity to write an article too. His logical, well-founded, commentary always makes me feel more comfortable in these types of situations where raw emotion is at the fore. He’s the calm in the storm.

  5. Don't Feed the Narcs says:

    Thank you HG for confirming my suspicions of why every date night, every vacation, every car trip ended in him complaining about how lazy and disrespectful my kids are to him (meaning they stood up to his abuse). He knew this was THE trigger with me that I would always defend. Flirting didn’t work with me because I don’t love him and really don’t give a damn about that. But criticizing my kids was reliable to trigger my reaction. Not so coincidentally that was the catalyst for the final disengagement 2 months ago. But I don’t regret it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, triangulation through your children. There is no such thing as a final disengagement DFTN, but I am pleased you used disengagement in that phrase.

  6. K says:

    Boston is on fire! The National Guard and State Police have arrived, there are drive-by lootings and fires all over the city.

    It is a Fuel Fest of Narcissistic delight!

    1. NarcAngel says:

      I’m picturing you in your War room with 5 tv screens haha.

      1. K says:

        Hahahahaha…one Police scanner, one television (CNN), three cell phones, two laptops and a Nintendo Switch.

      2. Violetta says:

        …and Mr. Bigglesworth.

      3. K says:

        I was being a little dramatic NA, two of the phones, one laptop and the Nintendo Switch belonged to my kids. We were watching the looting together as a family unit.

        1. njfilly says:

          It’s always nice to watch a little looting as a family. (Just kidding! Ha ha!)

          1. K says:

            It started out peaceful and then went to Hell real fast!

          2. njfilly says:

            It sure as hell did.

    2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

      Dearest K,
      The biggest narc of all has gone into cowardly hiding in the presidential bunker, probably having an extra shot of hydroxychloroquine
      What an utter disgrace of a man
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Ahem, biggest narc of all?

        1. Kim e says:

          See you in the dungeon!!!

          1. NarcAngel says:

            Hahaha. Yup, Bubbles be gettin a little alone time for that slip.

        2. Violetta says:

          Biggest geometrically, at least in our lifetimes. Unless Dear Leader in NoKo outweighs him.

          1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dear Violetta,
            Sorry, did you say something? 👂
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          2. Violetta says:


            I see you took my advice about the earplugs.

        3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dear Mr Tudor and lovelies,
          Sorry everyone, the term was “loosely” worded and meant in the current situation, him being the “morbidly obese” president, stand out figure and ruler of the country and in the current situation
          Please don’t put me in the dungeon, I hate bugs, it was late and I did have a wine or two, I take it back, I was having a very senior dementia moment
          Pleeeaase, I’m scared of the dark, the wine made me do it, I never really said that, I really don’t remember, I wasn’t me, it was the keyboard, I didn’t mean it
          It’s all K’s fault , she made me do it, if it wasn’t for her comment (haha)
          The cat did it, even though I don’t have one
          Mr Bubbles did it when I wasn’t looking
          I repent, I can feel your whippings
          I’ll be good from now on, I’ll change you’ll see, you know I would never deliberately hurt you all, I’ll never do it again
          Am I forgiven, you know you can trust me, I promise
          Surely you can find it in your hearts to forgive me, that’s why I luv you all
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. K says:

            Dearest Bubbles,
            Hahahaha…nice try but we are onto your wily ways!
            Luv K xoxox

        4. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Ps …. I also wish to plead the 2nd, 5th n 8th amendments
          Oops, bugga, wrong country 🤣
          I call for leniency, I’m but a mere empath, I know not what I do !
          Be gentle, I bruise easy haha
          Nah, seriously, there was a special on the idiot box about Whitney Houston and she was singing the “greatest lala of all” 🤣 kinda got sidetracked and it somehow intertwined
          Reminder to self :- Must always reread before I press “post comment”
          Clearly that’s never gonna happen 😂
          I’ll bring my hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes and hazmat suit for the dungeon, put the kettle on, I may be 5 mins late, gotta pick up a packet of Tim tams on the way and some french frogs for the crocodiles 😂

          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Violetta says:

            Don’t forget the earplugs, Bubbles.

          2. WhoCares says:

            Haha, Bubbles!

            Never thought I’d see the day when *you* had to fear the dungeon!

          3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest WhoCares,
            Me neither, see what coming out of covid hibernation does to people 😱
            Lucky for me castles/chateaus are “on tend” and are a renovators delights 🏰
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          4. njfilly says:

            There is a kettle of tea in this dungeon? Then I guess it is true that the English really do enjoy their tea.

          5. Renarde says:

            Madame Bubbles

            Your posts’ have made me smile! You’re safe, I have your back.

            I have a pretty shrewd idea what might be in the dungeon, you dont want to know, my lovely!

            Hint, it wont be an overstuffed sofa with lots of cushions and cuddly toys!


            You see this represents the great difference between the UK and the US. We make a pot of tea. The kettle boils the water.

            And yes, I know what you do with microwaves! First time I saw what the American did I almost fainted from shock!

          6. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest Renarde,
            I do like lots of cushions and an overstuffed sofa, Mr Bubbles is my only cuddly toy haha
            I’m a coffee gal, Italian espresso or a latte (we make amazing coffee here)
            I’m neither religious or political for a dungeon so I’m safe 😇
            I’m sure if Mr Tudor sentenced me, we could come to some arrangement over a sumptuous bottle of bubbles and work on a deal err I mean Fuel 🤣
            Thanks for having my back gorgeous Renarde, I now feel safe
            Curious, what do Americans do with microwaves ?
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      2. Kim e says:

        Bubbles,With his McDonalds cheeseburgers. It was suggested right after he go to the WH that they could save the head chef’s salary and just cater out the formal dinners because he eats a lot of junk food.

        1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dear Kim e,
          If high cholesterol doesn’t get him, then there’s the side effects of his pill popping, disinfectants and orange colouring
          Here’s hoping 🤞
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      3. K says:

        Dearest Bubbles,
        Hahahaha…er, the second biggest narc of all is a big fat coward and he just announced that all the
        Governors are weak. He is an utter disgrace!
        Luv K xoxox

        1. Violetta says:

          “You’re all worthless and weak! Now drop and give me 20.”

          1. Violetta says:

            Okay, I quoted Twisted Sister, and somebody liked it. I am embarrassed for both of us.

          2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest Violetta,
            All in good fun
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dearest K,
          I dobbed you in, I had to, my life depended on it
          I’m sorry, please forgive me, you’re the only one I can trust
          You’re my closet friend and allie, they’re all being so mean to me
          Please make them go away, the pain hurts
          I didn’t mean what I said, I don’t know what came over me, I blacked out, it happens sometimes, I have health issues, I’m sick n dying, no one luvs me, except you
          You’ve never let me down and I know you never will
          Between the two of us we will win, only you can make me better, I know you will
          You’ve never let me down
          Luv you 😂
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Violetta says:


          2. K says:

            Dearest Bubbles,
            Hahahaha…have you been on The Middle Mid Ranger’s Narcissist’s Seduction Speech recently?
            Luv K xoxox

          3. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest K,
            I missed that one, I shall take a bo peep, thank you
            The mid ranger back peddles so fast when his “fuel” tank depends on it, I’ve seen it in action, it’s hilarious, that’s why my silly rant 🦊 haha
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          4. K says:

            Dearest Bubbles,
            Here it is; enjoy the reading!
            Luv K xoxox


          5. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest K,
            It’s verbal “love sick” diarrhoea, isn’t it ?
            huge thankyou “special k”
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          6. K says:

            Dearest Bubbles,
            Hahahaha…I thought you might enjoy it.
            Luv K xoxox

      4. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Dear Violetta,
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    3. lisk says:

      I don’t get it. You sound excited about it.

      What am I missing?

      1. K says:

        The protests are warranted, however, the looting isn’t and the riots are evidence of the systemic corruption in law enforcement and our criminal justice system and the root cause of all of this is Narcissism.

        It’s all about power (control) and fuel and I can see it as plain as day.

        1. lisk says:

          You say “the riots are evidence of the systemic corruption in law enforcement and our criminal justice system.”

          I see narcissism, too, but it’s in the little low-life looters themselves. Are they the results of the corruption you mention?

          1. K says:

            Absolutely. Those low-life looters are most likely Lesser Narcissists, based on their behavior, and they are hard-wired for criminality and they were created as a direct result of the rampant corruption and widespread child abuse in a system that repeatedly fails to protect children from Domestic Violence, rape and emotional violence.

            Then the same system that created these criminals makes money by incarcerating them in for-profit/privatized prisons.

          2. lisk says:

            I see. Thank you for clarifying.

          3. wildviolet22 says:

            Did you guys see in Brooklyn, 2 lawyers were arrested yesterday for throwing Molotov cocktails at cops, and for trying to distribute explosive devices. One is a graduate of Princeton and NY University School of Law, the other graduated from Fordham Law School. Those are some prestigious backgrounds right there :/.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            That situation makes a real Horlicks of “I fought the law and the law won.”

          5. lisk says:

            Totally makes sense. These are the lowlife products of our current dumbed down universities.

          6. lisk says:

            Princeton would be the only prestigious background there.

            Either way, not surprising that they would be involved at that level. Many so-called “intelligent” people have supported this kind of stuff for centuries.

            Add to that the ever-dumbing-down of American education at all levels.

          7. K says:

            My pleasure lisk

  7. K says:

    Anonymous released this article: Trump alledgely raped a 13-year old girl.

  8. K says:

    Check this out. Trump, along with Epstein, is allegedly involved in trafficking.

    1. Fiddleress says:

      Wow, K, what a finding ! Thank you for sharing this. This time it could be the end of the Donald, don’t you think ?
      I have always had a soft spot for Anonymous. A very, very soft spot.

      1. K says:

        Mon plaisir Fiddleress!
        Honestly, I don’t think this is the end of The Donald. The Administration rewrites everything (gas lighting) and there is so much corruption that we will never know the whole truth. C’est dommage.

        Anonymous est la bombe!

        1. Fiddleress says:

          K, I loved that you wrote in French!

          Oui, c’est dommage si le Donald a des chances de sauver son … derrière (polite version).
          Well, time for a revolution again; we helped you once with that, we can do it again, and this time no English person will be harmed in the process ! (Here I go again, with ideas of toppling the tyrants…)

          1. K says:

            Mon plaisir Fiddleress!
            Hahahaha…I understood your comment without using Google translate! I took French in high school (Lycée). My French teacher was very kind to me.

            Ensemble, nous nous battons (together we fight)! Vive la révolution! Vive la résistance!

          2. Fiddleress says:

            K, I am impressed !
            Well, teachers tend to be kind to pupils who are too, so there you go. Anyway, I plead guilty to this one. If the pupils are unbearable, I lash out at them narc-style! Ha, I wish I would, sometimes.
            English teachers in this country have a reputation for being excentric, ‘like ze Brrreeteesh’, in some French people’s minds.
            I love excentricity.
            Honestly, I am biased against Google translate, though I admit it can be helpful for a word or a few words sometimes, but it is known to be vastly inaccurate, when not a downright riot sometimes (er, maybe shouldn’t be mentioning riots, right now?).

            I have just realised something: because of lockdown and working from home (which I still am), I haven’t actually spoken much English at all for two months and a half. Read, listened to and written, yes, but not spoken. This is the longest I have spent without really speaking English on an almost daily basis since I started learning when I was eleven. And I can feel it.
            Apparently I am going back to work next week, now (but this keeps shifting). I haven’t felt so much like going back in a long time.

          3. K says:

            I was a delinquent but she had emotional empathy and recognized that I was a “troubled kid”; she was a lay teacher (non-nun teacher). The lay teachers were not abusive or controlling like the nuns. I couldn’t take Latin or Spanish because the nuns were so abusive.

            Recently, I had to use Google translate for: “Wenn es sich bewegt, fick es”
            and the message was very clear!

            Unfortunately, Americans, usually, only speak english so we wouldn’t know if Google translate was inaccurate. Hopefully, you will get back in the saddle and start speaking english in no time.

          4. Fiddleress says:

            Haha, you, K, a delinquent? Well, you are an empath so I’ll believe you!

            Google translate is often used by my students – I know because when I write in their papers “I didn’t understand this sentence”, they usually go : “But I checked with Google translate!”. And I usually think “You don’t say!”. The problem is, they sometimes cannot even spell French properly, so how can you expect Google translate to say anything that makes sense! I advise them to use good dictionaries instead. But I can see your point.

            Going back to my work place next week (but only part-time, the rest of the time still working from home), and I am excited : I speak mostly English at work, I have two American colleagues too.

            From what my friends who have been to schools where some teachers were nuns, have told me, I am not surprised at all by what yours were like…

          5. K says:

            Hahahaha…I was defiant when I was a child.

            French can be very difficult, because it isn’t phonetic, so you really need to check your spelling and I used a french dictionary, although Google is great for a “quickie search”. I understand your excitement; lockdown is slowly phasing out here and people are starting to go back to work; it is tedious.

            The abusive nuns and priests at my Parish should have been hanged till death/dead. The Bishop wasn’t bad and I suspect that the Principal (headmistress) may have had empathy.

          6. Fiddleress says:

            True, French is a bitch of a language to spell. But our education system has been going to the dogs too over the past 15-20 years, with much less emphasis on spelling and grammar.

            Cinemas and theatres are reopening here on 22nd June, and the bars opened again this week (yes, I have already been in the city to celebrate, and was not even scared of running into Nex, ha).

            Looks like Boris Johnson won’t let us into the UK easily, so I may not even be able to pop over to Scotland to visit some friends this summer, as I usually do. And I am not amused.

          7. K says:

            I enjoyed French very much and I was the top student in my class. Unfortunately, in america, there aren’t very many french speakers so I haven’t been able to practice. Our educational system isn’t very good and hasn’t been for a long time.

            Bars and nightclubs will not be opening anytime soon, all public events are cancelled and the town library isn’t open and, when it finally opens, it will be severely limited.

            Travel to Brazil has stopped and we cannot cross the border to Canada. I am not amused either, hopefully they will come up with a vaccine sooner rather than later.

          8. Fiddleress says:

            K, it is lovely to know you enjoyed French, and that you were top of the class, bravo!
            I love English. It is a passion, one that has never let up, and never let me down. In fact, I am addicted to English !
            There is a little story behind it: my father’s brother went to live in the USA when he was young. He came to visit with his wife and my two cousins when I was 10 (that was the only time I ever saw them). I couldn’t speak English then and my 12-year-old cousin couldn’t speak French, but we still had a great time together for the whole month they were over, as kids can. After that, I couldn’t wait to start learning English as I adored my cousin and had vowed to… marry him one day, haha. When I did start learning English, I fell in love with the language. I have about 20 dictionaries, some bilingual but most only English, including some from the 19th century.
            The best Christmas present I received was my first French-English dictionary, which I decided to learn by heart.
            Speaking an other language is a good way of putting at a distance painful things that have happened to you in your mother tongue.

          9. K says:

            The teacher was very kind and I really did enjoy learning French. Children will usually find ways to have fun irrespective of language and, sometimes, they can teach each other some words in their native tongue(s). When I was a child, one of my friends was deaf and he taught me some sign language. I wish more Americans would embrace learning a second language but many are apathetic in that respect.

            Enjoy getting back to work and speaking English, although offices have started opening here, many workers have not returned to work. Perhaps they prefer telecommuting.

        2. Violetta says:

          I try to avoid the whole Godwin’s Law thang; people scrawled “Bushitler” on their signs back in the aughties, and it left them nowhere to go with Trump. However:

          1) He’s in a bunker. Johnson and Nixon faced rioting and protests without bunkering down.
          2) Trump invited a MAGA counterprotest to the White House. Did he care if he started a mass brawl and his own people got hurt? About as much as Hitler cared when someone told him that the young teenagers (13, 14) they shoved into the army towards the end of a losing war would die for nothing. Hitler replied, “What else are they there for?”
          3) He has the opportunity to use the rioting as his Reichstag fire. “See how awful everything is? I must take over completely!” Whether he will take it is another thing: Hitler overtly sought power, but Trump’s election may have been a reality show publicity stunt gone awry.

          I wonder what sort of problems we’d be seeing if the other narcissist had got in.

          1. lisk says:

            No problems at all. This is all due to her *not* getting in.

          2. Violetta says:

            Not necessarily, Lisk. There were riots and looting during Obama’s time in office. I don’t know if he was much use in calming things down, but at least he didn’t throw rhetorical gasoline on the flames.

        3. Violetta says:

          The plot thickens. Yahoo has an article, “White nationalist group posing as antifa called for violence on Twitter.”

          Now this group may not be endorsed by Trump, although they may indeed endorse him. However, it shows that in addition to the opportunistic looters, using what started as peaceful protests as an excuse to grab some Kate Spades, there are opportunistic fascists, deliberately trying to get the crowds more riled up than they already are, presumably so they can use the results as a proof that the Friendly Neighborhood Fascists must take over for our own good, because antifa.

        4. Lorelei says:

          K—my French is poor! It was only good for singing as I can quickly breeze through the lyrics. Can’t understand it though!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Second nature as you know.

      1. K says:

        Hahahaha…of course! Nothing like a little anarchy to spice things up.

    2. MB says:

      Nice neck too!

      1. K says:

        I concur!

        1. Violetta says:

          Oh, c’mon. For all we know, HG really looks like the MAD Magazine parody of The Shadow, an old radio/comic book character who had “the ability to cloud men’s minds” so he couldn’t be seen. In the MAD version, when he reveals himself to his girlfriend during a heated make-out session, she is sorry she asked.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            The evidence shows otherwise.

  9. K says:

    America is on fire! There is speculation that Anonymous (an internationally feared online hacktivist group) took down the Minneapolis Police Department website and will continue to take down any government website that attacks the protesters.

    The mask worn by the protester above is a Guy Fawkes mask; it is also the mask used by V for Vendetta and is the symbol for the hactivist group Anonymous. Here’s a tweet from Anonymous.

    We are interventionist.
    We are hacktivist.
    We are journalist.
    We are activist.
    We are justice.
    We are legion.
    Expect us.

    We are from the internet.
    We are #Anonymous.
    We are everywhere.


    1. K says:

      Every time a protester(s) gave the CNN camera/crew the finger(s), I thought of this article and laughed. Yup, provocation!

    2. Sweetest Perfection says:

      K, I recommend the Spanish show Money Heist (La casa de papel) on Netflix. The characters use the same mask (borrowed from Anonymous which originally copied the mask from the film V for Vendetta) and they have become a symbol of challenging the established corrupted governments and neoliberal capitalist practices. The show has gained an incredible amount of popularity and social impact worldwide.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        PS: I would choose the name “London.”

    3. Sweetest Perfection says:

      I forgot to mention something cool; the Spanish show “customized” the mask by adding a little Spanish flavor to it: it’s the same mask but looking like Salvador Dalí. Genius.

      1. K says:

        Sweetest Perfection
        Thank you, I will do a Google image search re: mask and I will check out La casa de papel. There is so much corruption that it is very difficult to keep up with it.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Black lives matter. I’ve been crying the whole weekend, K.

          1. K says:

            Sweetest Perfection
            Moi aussi.

          2. lisk says:

            Narcs are clearly playing you like a Strad.

          3. lisk says:

            My pleasure, SP.

            Thanks for the reminder that there are real empaths out there.

          4. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I wish HG had approved my link to Man Ray’s “Le Violon D’Ingres.” If I have to be played by someone, I hope I appear as beautiful as in that picture. On the other hand, black lives still matter regardless of who fucks up the system and it’s for those who pay with their lives that I cry for. I have read HG’s analysis and agree with him in everything, but the emotional part remains.

          5. lisk says:

            Ah, yes. I know that one well. A lovely image.

    4. njfilly says:

      Agent provocateurs are no doubt within or behind the unlawful protesters.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Agent provocateur makes very nice lingerie!

        1. njfilly says:

          Ha ha! Yes, I agree!

        2. Renarde says:

          Oh it certainly does! I have many fine examples.

          A great sadness was when I read that AP had been sold to Sports Direct of all people.

          I stopped looking at the website, probably for over a year. When I went back fairly recently, my God it has changed!

          Prices still the same but, it isnt what it was. Unless they have a massive sale, I’m done with it.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            They do have a big sale right now .

          2. Renarde says:



            I’ll check it. Thank you.

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I would but I am morally deterred from enhancing myself with any beauty purchase these days. Maybe that’s why they are on sale! Thousands of sexy empaths exercising economic restrain to invest instead in social causes!

  10. Fiddleress says:

    This article takes my knowledge a step further: I really thought I had managed to hide all the emotional turmoil caused by *his* provocations, when apparently he understood what was building up? I can believe this, because he kept them coming, and they got worse each time.

    The last two times I saw him, I was a wreck and I know it showed. He expectantly asked me if it was because of him – to which I answered no, didn’t want to grant him that pleasure. I had begun to open my eyes by then.
    I certainly went beyond what I could take, with very serious consequences, but that was before I could read your articles, HG. I am so glad that I took your advice as soon as I arrived here – starting with implementing no-contact.

    1. Anm says:

      Filderess, why do you have to see a narcissist? Is it a family member? Colleague? “Coparent”?

      1. Fiddleress says:

        Anm, I must have got it wrong somewhere in what I wrote, but I can’t see where: what makes you think I have to see a narcissist? I was actually writing about someone I stopped seeing in january.

      2. Fiddleress says:

        To answer more precisely (and cheerfully !), the man I refer to in my post was a romantic partner. Thankfully, it didn’t last long – around 7 months – and I escaped at the end of January. I scoured the Internet and came across narcsite pretty quickly. I might hoover him one day to thank him for this! (No, of course not.)

        As for some of the other narcissists in my life (only my assessment, so not 100% sure), there are at least two of my colleagues at work, two Mid-Range, I would say, females. But thanks to lockdown, I don’t get to see them or interact with them even. I just find them tiring and I can deal with them.
        Oh, there is also MatriNarc (100%), but that was dealt with years ago – I manage to escape all the Ns in my private life, it seems!
        My daughter’s father is another suspect I escaped from, but I don’t have to deal with him. He is the master of silent treatments, both Present ST and absent ST, I can tell you, he would win the World Championship of Silent Treatments if there was one! My daughter is an adult now. I wish I had had access to the Child Defender years ago, though.

  11. DrHouse says:

    HG, how do you know if a narc acts on purpose? Premeditated? Is this the fine line to psychopathy?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You go to the Knowledge Vault and you access
      1. Inside the Narcissist´s Mind : Is it a Manipulation?
      2. Inside the Narcissist+s Mind : Is it Calculated

  12. Summer says:

    I blocked out so much to just stay functioning. The accuracy of these articles, while uncomfortable to read, helps to keep me safe from emotional thinking causing me to forget over time & start minimizing. Superb article

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

    2. Violetta says:

      “The accuracy of these articles, while uncomfortable to read, helps to keep me safe from emotional thinking causing me to forget over time & start minimizing.”


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