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21 thoughts on “Danger : 50 Things You Should Not Do With A Narcissist”
RE: the comments here:
https://narcsite.com/2020/06/04/danger-50-things-you-should-not-do-with-a-narcissist-11/#comment-361195 a valid question.
https://narcsite.com/2020/06/04/danger-50-things-you-should-not-do-with-a-narcissist-11/#comment-361201 Thank you for that answer to the above question, HG.
HG, according to the BBC programme, ‘Stacey Dooley : Stalkers : Episode 2’ – 1:5 women and 1:10 men are victims of stalking. It is unsurprising to see the figures. In my opinion, there are probably a higher ratio of men than is reported because it is not reported.
This thread made for interesting reading for me. HG’s book is very useful as a guide.
I totally agree about how mental health professionals dont really ‘get it’ about narcissistic abuse or NPDs. They rarely end up in services and if they do, any therapy would just ultimately result in them being more accomplished at emotional abuse, I fear. I work for the health service and if I ever get to see someone who describes a particular pattern of emotional/physical abuse that rings alarm bells with me, I’ll mention this website to them and encourage them to have a look. I’m also trying to think of ways to suggest HG’s work to my colleagues…
Have just finished reading this. I wish I had got this one sooner. I know the narcissists traits are shared. But it was like somebody had been stalking my relationship and written a book about it. This is a pretty ultimate guide in my eyes. It’s all well and good when you read other books they explain what a narcssist is in clinical terms. That isnt going to help in real-life. The translation from inside the mind of a narcissist to actions in everyday life is spot on.
Thank you for reading.
Well stated Dolly. Reading clinical books about NPD is all well and good, but what does “grandiosity” look like? HG describes all of the DSM “symptoms” and then some. As you say, the translation from words on a page to actions in real life is the key to truly recognizing the behavior and protecting yourself.
Thank you MB. You also managed to translate my comment into a far better one! You have written exactly what I was trying to get at. Some literature on this subject could actually put a glass eye to sleep without bringing any thing of use to the table…..I honestly think counsellors and therapists should read this material. They must hear these same scenarios/ behaviours relayed day in day out. Yet they appear to have very limited (if any) knowledge on narcissists? I feel like going into the counsellors office and flinging a copy of these books at him. Some of the advice he has dished out was appalling and could have put me in danger. I was sensible enough to realise this, thank goodness I came across Mr Tudors work. After this lockdown finishes, I won’t be rushing back. I’d rather work my way through the series of books. I gained more in one bedtime session of reading than hours with a so called ‘profesional’
Thank you DS, this is an oft stated observation.
Police department stalking units need HG’s ‘No Contact’ as well. I watched an episode of ‘Stalked’ last night on my fave network, ID. It detailed the struggle of a young college student that had a romance and then became a murder victim at the hands of a narcissistic psychopath. All of the red flags were detailed from beginning to end. An order of protection did not stop her from being gunned down in front of her own apartment with an assault rifle. The whole time I was watching, I was appalled by the mistakes that were made in her NC regime by her, her parents, his father, and law enforcement. If she (or the police) had this information, that sweet girl would be alive today.
I was chilled to the bone when in the interview at the end of the show, her mother said she will never know why he did what he did. (He died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound from the same weapon to evade police. Not that he would have ever told her anyway if he was alive.) I don’t know if that mother is still alive, but what I’d give for her to have the peace of the answers that HG could provide to her.
Well done MB, so good to see you applying what you have learned from me in such a logical fashion and of course demonstrating your empath credentials also.
Well, technically, you awarded me my empath credentials too, HG. It was you that made it official with the EDC!
Correct, I provided the confirmation and that is necessary since many are plagued by self-doubt. As always, I provide the answers from an objective, disinterested and evidential place of expertise.
I didn’t know what an Empath was before finding your work, HG. I’m nearly as thankful to learn that there’s nothing “wrong” with me as I am to learn about narcissism. My entire life I’ve been told I’m “too sensitive” as if it was a character flaw.
It is who you are. Cannot be changed. What you can change is how that is used to cause problems for you.
I wonder how many stalkers are actually narcissists?
The vast majority, but people fail to realise that.
I checked HG’s answer before answering. I was going to say 100%. If you have Investigation Discovery channel, I highly recommend ‘Stalked: Somebody’s Watching” as an enrichment activity for our learning here at Narcsite. Kind of like a field trip or a filmstrip (showing my age!) when we were in school. With many things on television and the news I am unable to detach and it causes me pain, but I find that I am able to forensically and objectively view these programs with detachment because of observing behaviors that I’ve learned from HG.
HG would you say aspects of hoovering cross over or progress into stalking. Even among greaters such as yourself?
Stalking is hoovering.
I had my suspicions that may be the case.
And thank you MB. When I find I can bring myself to watch TV again I shall have a browse.
I can’t remember what number in the book the TV point was…..But it was spot on correct…That’s what’s scary about the whole thing. The book is so accurate. Even down to telly viewing!