The Narcissist and Gifts

THE-NARCISSIST-AND-GIFTS

 

What do narcissists think about giving? Well, the starting point is that we are a gift to the world and really, should there be any need for us to give anything more? Of course there is; the giving of gifts provides us with yet another opportunity to manipulate people, exert control and ultimately draw fuel. Some people think that narcissists may not want to give gifts because we hate to do things for other people. The latter part of that point is correct, but the simple fact as ever is that the end justifies the means then we will do that and if that means parting with some of our money to purchase a gift and spending some time selecting it, then so be it. You probably will understand however that when it comes to the giving of gifts, it is nothing at all to do with you. As usual, it is all about us.

  1. Gifts of Seduction. During the seduction of a victim, some of our kind revel in the grand gestures of expensive and wonderful gifts. There may be repeated gifts every few days or some large grandiose gift. Occasionally, we may give careful consideration to what will impress you most but it is always linked into how it will benefit us. The purpose of such gifts is to cause you to admire us, thank us and draw closer to us as a consequence of our generosity and our thoughtfulness. Don’t think that we have been that considerate. You will probably receive a similar gift to the last primary source. If worked last time, so we will do it again. Thus the Somatic Narcissist who selects victims who are into material items may well always purchase some Louboutin shoes for each victim. The Cerebral Narcissist will provide a weighty tome for you to read. Not only is this exclusive hardback expensive but he can tell you all about how much he knows about the subject later. We also rely on the fact that even if the gift is not precisely what you wanted, most people are delighted to receive gifts and during the wonderful, elating and mesmerising seduction, the whole of the effects of our seduction make the receipt of the gift all the more gratifying. It gains kudos from being given against a backdrop of compliments, love, amazing sex, days and nights out and so forth. By appearing thoughtful and generous we draw you closer to us.
  2. Creation of debt. We only give you a gift in order to get something we want and the provision of a gift automatically creates a debt in our mind. It might be that we will control you through this gift, it might be that we use it to gain fuel or to mollify you if we think you are on the brink of leaving us and denying us our fuel. No matter how lavish or expensive the gift, there will be a price to pay for it, either now or later.
  3. Creating the favourite. We often use gifts to create a favourite and generate division. For instance, if we have three nephews, who are still young children, we may give one a larger and more expensive gift to one and smaller and less expensive gifts to the other two and it is obvious. Children will react to this with jealousy, petulance and upset which will generate fuel. It does not stop there. The parents of the nephews may well react to this unequal treatment so there is more fuel forthcoming. If we are challenged as to why we have done this you can expect to be told,

“It is my money and I decide how I spend it.”

We are entitled to do as we want and when it comes to giving gifts there is no exception.

This favouritism will continue all the way through so that a golden child will always fare better at Christmas and birthdays than his or her siblings with the attendant problems that arise. We will even do this when we have gone with an unequal division of assets. The Thought Fuel that arises as we sign the will knowing of the in-fighting that will come about in due course is satisfying indeed.

  1. The Rubbish Gift. This is done by design and often unintentionally. Since we lack empathy, we see no need to consider what somebody else what might really want for their birthday. Thus, we provide them with a hideous jumper that is too big or a garish ornament. The look of dejection and disappointment on that person’s face when they receive a book about butterflies produces a good dose of fuel for us. Of course if they do not seem appropriately happy, this allows us to roll out comments such as: –

“But I thought you loved butterflies.”

“I looked everywhere for that gift.”

“You should be grateful you got anything at all.”

We know you don’t like butterflies. We found the gift in the bargain bin at the supermarket and we know you won’t be grateful, we don’t want you to be, so we can provoke you for some more fuel.

  1. The Residual Fuel. Flowing from the rubbish gift is the expectation that when we next call around the hideous statue of what is meant to be two dolphins in the foam but looks more like a frothing Quasimodo, should be pride of place on your mantelpiece. Alternatively, you should be wearing that migraine inducing jumper. If you are not, you can expect us to play the victim and make you feel guilty for not showcasing our generous gift.
  2. The Wrong Gift. The cousin of the rubbish gift. This gift may be a good gift but it is the wrong one. You may already have one of these items already and a second is of no use. It might be that you asked for a handbag in black and we have bought you one in brown, even though it is the same make. The shoe size might be two sizes out either way, the ring too small, the lingerie too small. We do this because you see the wrapped item and recognise it to be the item you have asked for and your excitement mounts, only then to be dashed by this narrow miss. Yes, you may be able to exchange it, but we will have lost the receipt and such like and we will still make a song and dance if you point out that it is the wrong gift or if you fail to look suitably happy. You can expect comments such as: –

“You have one already. Well, a spare shoe horn is always handy.”

“It is too tight? Not my fault you have put weight on is it?”

“You told me size 7, yes you did. Stop trying to blame me for your mistake.”

“So what if it I a different colour, you should appreciate I bought you something.”

  1. Forgetting a gift. It always provides us with fuel when you expect a gift and none is forthcoming. We derive amusement from seeing you waiting all day, expecting a delivery to the door, or hunting around the house thinking that we have hidden your gift. When evening comes and no gift has been forthcoming your annoyance, upset or dismay provides us with further fuel. We will of course apply selective amnesia or deflection to the situation.

“I thought the anniversary was next week?”

“It’s only Valentine’s day, you shouldn’t expect a gift.”

“You are too old to receive birthday presents now.”

“Is it your birthday? I thought it was on the 21st?”

  1. My gift. You are expecting a gift and there is something expensive sat on the dining table. It is not given to you but sits there all day until you eventually ask if it is for you only to be told it is not and it is for me. Cue crestfallen look and more fuel.
  2. The Respite and Hoover Gift. Part of the seduction family. If we want to bring you back into the Formal Relationship following discard or escape, or if we want to reinstate the golden period, we will supply you with gifts again and endeavour to make them thoughtful so that you provide us with positive fuel and we draw you back to us.
  3. Future Faking. Gifts are not immune from us always promising to buy you something amazing for that forthcoming birthday. This keeps you bound to us, you keep giving us positive fuel from your enthusiastic responses to our promises, but we fail to deliver. We draw fuel and then promise to get it for you for Christmas instead. You know what is going to happen don’t you?
  4. Charity Gifts. If we make some donation to charity whether it cash or equipment, or even items we no longer need for them to sell at a charity store, you can be sure we will let as many people know as possible of our generosity. This gains fuel and maintains our façade.
  5. Outdoing Others. If there is a christening, a baby shower or a wedding we will often go big with our gift giving. If you have a wedding list, we will go off list in order to be different even though that crystal orange juice squeezer is not exactly needed. This form of gift giving is nothing to do with you. The gifts are likely to be lavish and expensive but it is all about showing off and gaining fuel and admiration as opposed to buying someone what they actually want. Of course, any complaint or lack of appreciation will be met with us playing the victim.
  6. Recycling. You end up being given a gift which clearly was a gift to us which we did not want. In some examples we may have even left the gift tag on showing that it was for added reaction. We considered those lavender bath bombs we received to be a total insult so next door can now have them as a house warming gift. Even beyond this, we may even give you as a gift something you gave to us. Not only does this show us to cheapskates it also shows we do not think much of your gift. Fuel abounds.
  7. Proximate Fuel. We gain proximate fuel from witnessing the reaction of our victims to our manipulative gift giving. As you know, we like to cause a scene and what better way that doing so in person, at a party or an event.
  8. Thought Fuel. Gift giving allows a double whammy. We have the chance to gain proximate fuel when we hand the gift over and you unwrap it and we also contemplate your reaction when we are not there. Either siblings fighting over the gift, people expressing their hurt at a tasteless gift, a rubbish one or the wrong one, so we even gain fuel after the event.
  9. The Early Declaration. If we are being grandiose in our gift-giving you can expect to know about your gift on Facebook or similar platforms when we post pictures of it and tell the world what we have got you for your birthday. No surprises for you, but plenty of admiring fuel for us.
  10. What the Last One Got. We buy you a gift and we can see you are not happy with it, underwhelmed or even upset. Of course there will be no sympathy or consideration shown by us. All we will do is remark about what we have got you is bigger, better and more expensive than what the last primary source got and you ought to be grateful. This also works in reverse when we let slip that we did not get you something as good as what the last primary source received because you didn’t get a good birthday present for us (even though you will have done – the reality is no bar to our manipulations).
  11. The Last One Didn’t Appreciate My Gifts. If we sense that you are unhappy with our gift, we gain fuel, but we will also emotionally blackmail you into being please with it by telling you how mean the previous primary source was in that no matter what we bought him he never appreciated the gifts. Suddenly, you are gushing over the tickets to a local amateur dramatic performance of Macbeth, even though you hate plays.
  12. But Look What I Gave You! This is done for future manipulation. If you fail to do something in the future, fail to submit and do what we want, we will hark back (and do so repeatedly) to that marvellous, rare and expensive gift we once got you. As I mentioned above, you always end up paying for the gift in some way.
  13. The Target. The gift we have given you and one which you like and cherish is used in the future as a device to manipulate you and draw fuel form you. We threaten to break the gift or we do break it. We hide it or take it from you. After all, what is ours remains ours and what is yours is still ours anyway since we are entitled and do not recognize boundaries.

Gifts and the act of giving provide us with so many opportunities to draw fuel both positive and negative from people, bind people to us, control them and manipulate them.

What is your experience of the narcissist and gifts?

85 thoughts on “The Narcissist and Gifts

  1. NarcAngel says:

    NJfilly

    It would appear the fox was fresh out of empathy when it came to L’il Bub.

    1. njfilly says:

      Ha ha! Yes. Thus ended the animal empathy home experiment. I thought they would bond.

  2. NarcAngel says:

    Sweet P

    If the chickens were to sleep with you, would there be a pecking order?

    I’ll see myself out…

    1. Violetta says:

      NarcAngel:

      Only during the Hen Party.

  3. NarcAngel says:

    TS6157

    “How I kept winding up under the wrong person I don’t know lol. Got there in the end though 🙂”

    That’s what a lot of us said.

    1. truthseeker6157 says:

      NA

      Hahaha, see what you mean !

  4. Kim e says:

    HG
    “Did your first husband milk it for all it was worth?”
    ROFLMAO

    Nope..the cream always rises to the top. But I did send your funny to James C and he is going to add it to his material…..

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well it surpasses anything that utter cocksucker would come up with.

      1. Kim e says:

        HG. I agree. One day I would love to hear why you have contempt for him.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Then one day you shall.

          1. Violetta says:

            Can you make a similar promise about Martha (Sociopath Next Door) Stout?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            I do not make promises, I either will or I will not.

          3. Violetta says:

            “There is no try.”

          4. truthseeker6157 says:

            👆Example of future faking.

          5. HG Tudor says:

            You are incorrect. It is not an example of future faking. More homework required.

          6. This one is

          7. HG Tudor says:

            Nope, you replied to the same one!

          8. truthseeker6157 says:

            It keeps moving my comment down. 😂 ‘Then one day you shall.’ That could easily be a future fake.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            Ah, your comment sat beneath the reply to Violetta, that reply was not a future fake nor could it be determined as one.

            Yes, “one day you shall” could be viewed as a future fake. It is not, but you are correct that it could be viewed as one.

          10. Violetta says:

            Future faking would be if he casually said, “once I’ve posted my analysis of Martha Stout,” or “next year, when we’re looking at the stars again, we really must discuss the article on Martha Stout which should be out by then…” Then never wrote it.

            He’s simply refusing to commit himself. He hasn’t promised or refused. He’ll write it if he wants to. I’m not the only Tudorista to make requests, and his own agenda will take priority over any of our requests.

            (That said, if he does post such a piece, I will be all over it like Devonshire cream on a scone.)

          11. Violetta says:

            Kim E: I had the same interpretation, sorry. You meant HG’s repy to you, not the one to me

          12. How I kept winding up under the wrong person I don’t know lol. Got there in the end though 🙂

          13. Violetta says:

            Kim E:

            WordPress is a mid-range narc. It constantly tries to outmaneuver HG, but it can only cause annoyance. It is always defeated in the end.

    2. Witch says:

      Who’s James C?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        An absolute bell end.

        1. Fiddleress says:

          No reply button under your “Nettles” comment, HG, so I reply here.
          Do you mean the nettles in “How the MatriNarc Views A Child As An Extension”?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            I do.

      2. NarcAngel says:

        Witch
        Corden. James Corden.

        1. Witch says:

          Noooo!
          I love carpool karaoke

          1. Kim e says:

            Witch,
            Be careful. A comment like that could get you sent to the dungeon!!!!

          2. Witch says:

            I’ve seen that James corden was born in the 70’s and went to school in Buckinghamshire, I wonder if he and HG met as kids? Is this a long standing feud?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Nettles.

          4. Witch says:

            Hold up wait! You pushed him in the nettles???

          5. Violetta says:

            Corden may be about to be dropkicked by cultural history:

            https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8411885/Gavin-Stacey-latest-series-dragged-race-row.html

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Oceania is at war with Eastasia and Eurasia has always been an ally.

          7. Presque Vu says:

            Literally just finished watching 1984, George Orwell is a master genius! Airstrip one and the thought police, it’s close to the bone right now. I’m so guilty of thought crime! The world is Orwellian right now in my humble opinion.

          8. Violetta says:

            HG:

            Corden refs unperson?

        2. “Nettles”

          Omg! Wow

          1. Another Cat says:

            Oh, can’t unsee but I accidently just discovered who James Corden is, from a clip on youtube.

            By chance, this man, and a youtube uploader recently actually contributed to the benefits of Good Music, in my personal opinion.

            Through one night having Sean Lennon + band as performing guests on his show. Observing his behaviour and body language, Sean is surely a Narc too! But a lion part of narcs are _excellent_ at rhythm, in my taste. This was Lennon’s live contribution, ‘Mambo Sun’ from an album of famous artists praising the memory of the artist Marc Bolan (If you look up the word Narcissist in a dictionary, Marc Bolan will be on photo).

            Hm, this is me mentioning three narcs in one comment…

  5. blackcoffee30 says:

    MMR always got me gifts that loved, but’s it’s all tainted now. All the jewelry. Everything. Given away to charity.

  6. NarcAngel says:

    Narc noob

    Well who doesn’t love to wake at dawn to a good cock fight?

    1. Kim e says:

      NA
      Or just a good cock????

      1. blackcoffee30 says:

        @Kim LOL

        But also 🙂

  7. Fiddleress says:

    I got zero gift.
    There was some future faking: he talked of buying me a set of two beautiful books about Lord Byron, that he knew was one of my favourite poets. Never did, of course.
    Then just before I escaped, he offered me to take what I wanted from a stack of books he was going to throw away. I took them just to put them in book boxes that we have here on the streets, where people can borrow books freely. I don’t know how someone who claims that books are all his life can think of simply throwing them into a bin. Or maybe he wasn’t going to, and that was his way of letting me know I was just a rubbish bin to him?

    About the word gift: I was fascinated to find out a few years ago where it came from. English is a Germanic language originally, with a lot of vocabulary still recognisable from the German. I came across the German word “Gift”, which means ‘poison’ in German. I looked into it further and discovered that it came into the English language under that meaning too.
    After reading this article, it makes sense to equate ‘gift from a narcissist’ as one more form of ‘poison from a narcissist”.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed, in Norwegian, Swedish and Danish (also descended from the Germanic language) gift means married and also poison. Evidently someone who was ensnared at an early juncture!

      1. Fiddleress says:

        Oh I love this one! ‘Married’ AND ‘poison’!
        You made my day with this reply.

      2. Narc noob says:

        I had two roosters given to me just recently by Nex. A gift meant for provocation, no doubt. I choose not to eat meat. She gifted me two live pets so we could catch, kill and prepare the gift for consumption
        🙄🤣

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Omg narc noob! That’s sadistic!

          1. Narc Noob says:

            SP, thanks for chiming in – long time no see! (perhaps I haven’t seen you around due to your profile picture change and didn’t recognise you)

            I realised things weren’t ‘normal’ when she was texting pictures of dead carcasses that she was going to use to feed her family, also done with a selfie, mind you.

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Well, well, well… there are various interpretations, depending on how willing you are to ignore that -blatant- red flag: for example, you could choose to think she actually is a very skilled chef that uses the carcasses to extract the flavor and make a big soup; you could consider that maybe she’s some experimental artist that is turning around the concept of still nature combined with a “memento mori” message; you could even entertain the idea that she’s a little bit gothic and has a dark sense of humor; or maybe, she’s a witch performing some form of ritual to curse her family. Alternatively, you could (and should) GOSO!!!!! Run, Narc Noob, run!!!!

          3. Narc noob says:

            Ha ha ha, some great examples of how we can explain their behaviour away. Thanks SP, good advice. 👍

          4. Violetta says:

            The Caring Chicken Overlords are currently battling for the top.spot on the charts with the Gay Black Overlords, using this contribution from Ludacris:

            My chick bad
            My chick hood
            My chick do stuff dat ya chick wish she could
            My chick bad, badder than yours
            My my chick bad, badder than yours
            My my my chick bad, badder than yours

            Now your girl might be sick but my girl sicker
            She rides that dick and she handles her liquor
            She knock a bitch out and fight
            Coming out swinging like Tiger Woods wife
            Yeah she could get a little hasty
            Chicks better cover up there chests like pasties
            Couple girl friends and they all a little crazy
            Coming down the street like a parade Macy’s
            I fill her up balloons
            Test her and guns get drawn like cartoons
            Doh, but I ain’t talkin’ bout Homer
            Chick so bad the whole crew wanna bone her

            That’s some poultry, Mr. Bridges

        2. njfilly says:

          This reminds me of a funny farm related story, although nothing related to narcs.

          When I first purchased my farm we had an open house party and invited many people. Some of my mother’s co-workers came to the party (I think they were from Brazil but honestly, I forget where they were from). They brought us a hen and a rooster. I was so thrilled! I took the chickens and hugged them and set them up in a cage with food and water and they were my first chickens. I would eventually go on to breed and sell chickens. I found out days later that they brought the chickens because they were going to butcher them and cook up some fresh ethnic cuisine for us at our party but once I started hugging and housing them they couldn’t bring themselves to butcher them in front of me!

          1. NarcAngel says:

            NJfilly
            Ha. Nothing like a little fresh murder in person to spice up a party!

          2. njfilly says:

            Ha ha! Yes, NA. I was horrified when I found out. I said “she was going to kill them in front of us?!”

            Now I think differently. I think it may be a good idea for anybody who wants to eat meat to see where it actually comes from and watch an animal be killed and butchered. I still eat meat, but I can’t do the killing or butchering myself. I get “others” to do it for me.

          3. Kim e says:

            njfilly,
            suprise information about kim e. My first husband was a dairy farmer. There were also pigs and goats on the farm.
            I was such a city girl that when my husband (a normal) asked me to plant something in a garden I tild him I couldn’t becasue it said ont he seed package that the seeds needed to be planted on a hill. I said all our land is flat. After he picked himself up from laughing at me and explained, I planted the seeds.

            The goats then had babies…..6 in all. They asked me if I would wait them. they were ina small shed with heat lamps on them. Well all the babies died because I guess the moms have a plug in their tites that needs to be massaged out after birth so the babies can feed. No one did that. I cried for weeks and told them if they did not tear down the shed I would burn it down. They took it down.

            Last be not least, they then gave me a calf to “play” with. I bottle fed him, played with him, named him Buddy. Well one day Buddy was gone….just gone. Vela will never be on my menu.

            Oh the joys of farm life………………

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Did your first husband milk it for all it was worth?

          5. njfilly says:

            Kim e:

            Great stories, although sad. Thank you for sharing them. I had goats as well but I never raised them.

            Although I wasn’t a city girl I was a farm newbie and knew nothing about farm animal sex* (*I now know more than I need to know).

            Another funny story related to that same pair of chickens. I knew nothing about chickens and mistakenly thought the rooster was the hen and vice versa. We couldn’t understand why the hen kept attacking the rooster when in reality it was the rooster trying to have sex with the hen. Duh! Yes, I have learned so much about farm animals and their sex lives.

            There is a lot of life on the farm but there is also a lot of death.

          6. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Njfilly, “ I was so thrilled! I took the chickens and hugged them and set them up in a cage with food and water.” Absolutely. I would have brought over a blanket too and check on them every five minutes at night to make sure they were sleeping properly.

          7. njfilly says:

            SweetP:

            Ha ha! It might be easier to just bring the chicks into your bedroom. I raised many chicks in the house in either the bathtub or a cage.

            I loved raising chickens. They are very friendly beautiful birds and nothing beats a fresh egg. I refuse to buy eggs from the grocery store. I still eat meat, however, and that will not change.

          8. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I was scared to mention that option, Njfilly, but very probably, the chickens would sleep with me. It has actually been studied that they are very intelligent and have empathy! I don’t eat meat, I was reading Kim e’s comment until I got to the word “calf” and started to gear teary in anticipation of the very possible ending of the story so I stopped reading. I don’t want my feelings to get hurt.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            Let me know when The Reign of the Caring Chicken Overlords is imminent so I can short my KFC holdings.

          10. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahaha! I’ll be Lady Bird.

          11. njfilly says:

            I did have a chick I raised in my bedroom. It was a solitary hatch without a mother hen and they don’t do well by themselves. So I raised it and kept it as an indoor pet for about a year. Her name was L’il Bub. I would put her outside with the other chickens during the day and she got eaten by a fox.

            I agree that animals have empathy and feelings for one another. I have witnessed many different animals grieving over their mates, other herd members, and their young.

          12. Sweetest Perfection says:

            L’il Bub! RIP.

          13. njfilly says:

            Thank you Sweet P.

        3. truthseeker6157 says:

          Run away! Fast as you can! Don’t look back!

    2. Fiddleress says:

      equate with (not ‘as’).

  8. truthseeker6157 says:

    It isn’t only narcissists that can be rubbish gift givers though. Most men are clueless when it comes to gift giving. I find it utterly amazing, women are so easy to buy for! The worst gift has to be the practical gift though.

    I had an ex say to me “ I thought about getting you a Dyson, but was worried you might wrap it around my throat.”
    “Yup”

    1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

      Dearest truthseeker6157,
      That’s why I’ve always given Mr Bubbles, family n friends lists
      Works a treat, I always get what I want 😂
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. truthseeker6157 says:

        Hello Bubbles x
        The list is a sensible approach, and I have often done that myself too. In reality though, I don’t care about what I receive, not really. What I care about more is that he sat, thought, tried to come up with a surprise that he really thought I would like. I’ve had some awful gifts that I loved for that reason, the guy tried.

        I love gift buying. It makes me happy to see a face light up in surprise or burst out laughing because they got the joke. I also accept many people are just not wired like me, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t care, it just means they aren’t like me.

        I’m not great with occasion days in general. I would far prefer my guy to pick me up, carry me upstairs and set up a fab candlelit bath with my favourite songs playing because he recognised I’d had a bad day, than an all singing all dancing Christmas gift. Cuddle me in because I messed up in work or lost patience home schooling. Don’t just send me flowers because it’s Valentine’s Day. I suspect you are probably the same, or similar 😊

        Above all though, never, ever, buy me a Dyson!! Lol

        I saw your message about the George Floyd funeral too Bubbles. You are exactly right. I’m really glad you pointed that out too. We are all so primed to discuss and debate the issue. A young man died. His family deserve to grieve in a non politicised way. You woke me up there.

        Thank you for keeping me grounded xx

        1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

          Dearest truthseeker6157,
          To have someone understand us and be naturally romantic with ideas and silliness are rare exceptions who live under rocks and are hard to find
          Some men it does come naturally, lucky are those who are blessed with one such gem
          I am very much the same as you, I luv the thought and care that goes behind every act of giving and gifts
          The fact “they” themselves, took time choosing a gift, card or flowers for no particular reason and not being “obligated” to for a special occasion
          Whether it’s running a candlelit bath, making you a cup of tea, cooking you a surprise dinner, stacking the dishwasher for you, hanging up the washing or even vacuuming the house with the Dyson haha

          Sadly, a lot of men just don’t have any idea and unfortunately we have to lead the way and subtly guide them into thinking it was their idea
          Mr Bubbles hangs my towel in front of the heater to warm up, turns my lecky blanket on, he will randomly buy me flowers or a box of Ferrero Rochers out of the blue because he knows they’re one of my favourite indulgences
          He only just recently organised, all by himself, surprise “photos on canvas” for the kids and myself from piccies he took on his iPhone 😱😍
          Don’t worry, our first Xmas together, he bought me a woollen underblanket for the bed, I thought it was going to be perfume or jewellery haha
          I asked him what possessed him to buy it, he had absolutely no idea, just seemed like a good idea at the time ! 💡
          Start off with some subtle hints truthseeker and you just never know
          Best wishes and hugs sweet one
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          Ps don’t forget, I’ve had over 50 years of training 🤣

          1. truthseeker6157 says:

            Oh Bubbles you do make me smile x
            What a thoughtful gift, the photos on canvas! Sounds like you have found a lovely man and deservedly so. There is hope for us all yet!
            Truthseeker😘

          2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dearest truthseeker 6157,
            There is always hope lovely one, sometimes we must make some tweaks n adjustments in order for it to be in our best interests, some just need a touch of sand paper
            Chuck a few post-its around the house, he might get the hint, nudge nudge wink wink 😉
            Stroking their ego usually helps haha

            Also, thank you for your comment regarding George, it is very much appreciated
            The world is currently topsy turvy, now they’re pulling Gone With The Wind and other shows from being streamed because they’re considered racist, good grief what next 😱
            Thank heavens I have a copy
            Good luck and best wishes precious
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    2. NarcAngel says:

      Give me a dyson any day and I’ll buy my own “personal” stuff.

      My husband bought me a sweater early on and it was hideous. Something his mother might wear. I said to him: have you ever seen me wear anything like that? “No” he replied. I responded with: Well, here’s a tip for you: There’s a reason for that, and it’s not because it wasn’t available to me. He laughed.

      1. truthseeker6157 says:

        Narc Angel, We’re awful, but in such a good good way 😉

      2. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Dear NarcAngel,
        🤣 good one
        Hope he kept the receipt
        Sounds like he has a good sense of humour
        At least he tried and made an effort
        I take pics and send them to Mr Bubbles, same goes with groceries, then he can’t stuff it up
        Bless their little hearts 🤣
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    3. Empath007 says:

      Word. Men are clueless it’s a wonder we are still able to populate the species !

      However I may be part of the problem leading on these clueless guys because a vacuum I would gladly take 😂

      1. lisk says:

        As long as it’s a Dyson and not a Hoover, then you would be in good shape, E007.

        1. Ha ha, fair point. Hoover would be a sacking offense!

        2. Empath007 says:

          Haha 😆. Admittedly the Hoover’s always worked on me too 😳 not anymore though ! I’m weaponized !

          … but uh… i’ll Take the Dyson hahaha.

          1. Violetta says:

            Think of the alliterative possibilities:

            – Dazzle
            – Devalue
            – Disengage
            – Dyson

      2. Awww Empath007! See Bubbles comment above. She talks sense 😉

  9. Bubbles 🍾 says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    The weasel gave me “gifts” to do with the military eg military mascot, cd/ DVD on ptsd, cd/DVD about HIM, book on the conflicts of war (all these cost him nothing) and let’s not forget my hideous “chucky doll 😱 which he got for free (I gave it all back) and flowers either picked from someone’s garden or dying flowers going out dirt cheap
    He’d regift Xmas presents given to him from the club ( from the early Xmas breakup) to his family and so called friends
    He’d brag about donating and making special visits to the children’s hospital (making himself look good) when in fact, they were previously donated to the club from other kind members
    He’d promise to fix or make something for you, never happened
    What a weasel!

    My mother always gave “homemade”, op shop or gifts from the $2 shops
    I’ve now manipul, errrrr ” suggested” her into giving us cash on special occasions 🤣

    Doesn’t matter what they give you, you definitely pay for it in the end
    The best gift they could ever give you, is their good riddance
    Terrific article Mr Tudor
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  10. Tired says:

    He’s usually cheap across the board. Not a good gift giver unless you tell him exactly what you want, even then manages to get it wrong.
    He bought previous gf’s expensive gifts asked for. He knows I was never materialistic, I never asked for grand things , usually something for the home we could all benefit from. During love bombing early on there were no expensive gifts .
    During this recent devaluation no cards on special occasions, and only bought a cheap Christmas gift because he knew other family would have thought he was a Asshole if he didn’t get me anything.
    There are occasions he has been very generous with gifts for the children.

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