The One and Only



I really do think the world of you, you know. I have not met anybody like you. No don’t shake your head. I know you are modest but you should accept a compliment when it is given, heaven knows you deserve it. I have to admit I have had a few relationships, but you know, we have all been there haven’t we? I used to think I knew what love was. I used to think that the person I was with was what I wanted, the answer to my prayers and that special someone.

All of that was not the case. In fact, it is quite apparent to me that they were really just practice runs to allow me to perfect my love in readiness for your arrival. I know it may seem strange but I feel like that I have always known you and moreover that somehow that I always knew we would be together. I used to tell myself in previous relationships that this was it, this was the one, but something would go wrong. I guess I was not a very good judge of characters back then. I kept picking the wrong ones. Goodness me I could tell you some tales.

I have hooked up with some real fruit loops in my time. I seem to attract them. I think it is because when I want to be with someone I give my absolute all to that person. I see no point in holding back, do you? It has to be everything or it is worth nothing. I can see you nodding, I thought you would agree. You and I are on the same wave length. I can sense it. I have an aptitude for it. A sixth sense. I have to admit I have not always been blessed with it and it has taken some time to fine tune it, I guess that is why I had to go through the rollercoaster ride with some of my exs.

Still, although they did not treat me well, no it is okay, you don’t need to know about all of that. I want to talk about you and me, that is far more important. Yes, they did not treat me well at all but that’s for another story I do not want to spoil tonight talking about their jealous rages and violent tempers. Thank goodness you are not like that. No it is fine you do not have to persuade me of that being the case. I know you are not like them. I can tell you are a far better person. Do you know how I know? It is in the way that you move.

Yes, it is. You move with a grace I have not seen before. That tells me that you are self-assured but not in a flamboyant manner. You know who you are and you move around with a grace and a presence which brings reassurance. I will let you into a little secret. Before I spoke to you I used to watch you. Not in a stalker kind of way, more as in an interested observer kind of way. I saw how people reacted to you, with warmth and delight whenever you spoke to them and I thought to myself when I saw how their faces lit up and how their eyes widened in pleasure that you were probably the kind of person who spends more time looking after other people than you do spend looking after yourself. I am right aren’t I?

It is not good trying to hide and look at the floor I can see I am right. I usually am about people. It is something of a gift but one I am now able to use to avoid the people who would hurt me and believe me there have been a few of them and instead find someone who will respect and love me in the same way that I will love and respect them.

It is all about finding that mutuality isn’t it? I bet you and I have much in common. Well, I know from our last date we share similar tastes in music and travel destinations and that just proves my point. I should imagine that if we discussed politics, although I don’t intend to tonight, there will be plenty of time to do that in the future, we would have similar views.

You see that I have been able to work out, after all the mishaps and the people that have let me down, who is right for me and who I am right for. I am a straight-forward kind of fellow. I will put you on a pedestal and worship you, yes I will, because somebody like you, someone so special and caring deserves that.

Oh I know you modern independent ladies are all about equality and believe me I am one hundred percent behind that but I do know that once upon a time you used to pretend to be a princess and that never leaves you. How do I know that? I have a sister you see and I saw how she played and made-up games based around being a fairy or a princess, good characters who wanted that happy ever after. I know it has never left her and so by the same token I know that someone like you, a good and decent and honest people still has that desire to be treated properly and every once in a while reminded of that fact.

I can tell by your smile that you agree with me and I am glad of that because I know how well I will treat you. I have much to give to you and you deserve to be treated right. You see, I sense, like me you have been hurt in the past. I can see it in your eyes. You are hoping that nothing spoils what we have because it is showing such promise isn’t it? Yes, I thought you would agree.

I can tell by the slightly guarded manner you have, but don’t be concerned, that is no bad thing given the way that some people behave, but I am not like them. You have no need to be concerned about me. I will only ever look after you and have your best interests at heart. That is why you and I have been brought together, two people who just want to love and be loved. It is not much to ask is it? That is why when I first met you I realised that you are the one.

You rise from your chair to go to the bathroom and I sit back in my chair and smile. I can say that speech backwards now and it works every time.

39 thoughts on “The One and Only

  1. Fiddleress says:

    “I feel like that I have always known you” (this comes pretty close to “We are soul mates”, isn’t it?). The would-be Nobel Prize in Literature said that to me. Not only him, but I fell for it coming from him.

    Also, re “playing the princess”: I must have mentioned my thing for Medieval times, I can’t remember, but he told me he was an accomplished feminist (that I didn’t buy, and how right I was), but that he believed in being chivalrous, and that he was. I loved it. It turned out he was not in the least, and that showed pretty quickly.
    I can just imagine him thinking “I can say that speech backwards now and it works every time.”, too.

    1. Fiddleress says:

      correction: it comes pretty close… doesn’t it?

  2. lisk says:

    Hmmm…Talentless Ted and Suicidal Sylvia met on February 25, 1956 and married on June 16, 1956. (Honeymooned in Benidorm 😬)

    Nuff said.

  3. Leela says:

    Yes, you are the only one …. until the next one! 😉
    (Perfectly written in “Exorcism”)

  4. Dawn says:

    me personally, i would have thought that was waaaaay over the top and called bullshit on it but then again ive been hit on, so many times, that i’ve heard every speech/ proclamation under the sun. im sure I’ve encountered many narcs in my life but no intimate ones hooked me the one who got me was a NI friend which i never would have imagined what he is

  5. Pingback: The One and Only ⋆ NarcTopia
  6. Bibi says:

    “I like very intelligent women”–HG.

    HG, would you have gone for Plath? Oven and all?

    As an American girl who loves poetry, who does not love and idealize the Great Plath?

    Her hubby was a talentless twat, but in poetry Plath was a monster.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Everyone is a potential target.

  7. blackcoffee30 says:

    I love fruit loops. So much so that I have fruit loops scented body wash. It sounds odd, but smells wonderful.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Are you not repeatedly hungry and tempted to eat yourself?

      1. blackcoffee30 says:

        No, the scent is alluring, and potential suitors abound.

    2. MB says:

      Does Amazon carry that body wash, BC30? (Asking for a friend…)

      1. blackcoffee30 says:

        No, an independent vendor. Are you in the States? Search Facebook for Candy Panda Wax, but the website is closed until the sale, day after tomorrow. It’s so popular, it sells out in minutes. Here is a sampling of available scents:

        Coney Island- Captain Crunch cereal + sugared waffle cone
        Tiger’s Blood- watermelon, strawberry, and coconut
        Shady Beach- Fresh exotic coconut + woodsy vetiver
        Cosmic Cutie- clean air & pink sugar
        Teenage Riot- creamy vanilla, sandalwood, melon, and plum (inspired by Thierry Mugler–Angel)
        Chasing Summer- creamy coconut with hints of berries and sweet vanilla cream
        Amber Rose- sandalwood, amber, musk and vanilla
        Crazy for Coconuts- mahogany coconut, creamy coconut, Hawaiian tropics
        Peach Lollipops- peach candy + sugary, sweet lollipops
        Pretty Pimpin’- black raspberry vanilla and Lovespell (fruity cherry blossom and peach)
        Dead Sexy- citrus, floral, amber, and musk (inspired by TokyoMilk)

        1. MB says:

          Thank you BC30. I’ll pass the info along to my “friend”. I may need some of these in my life too. Maybe some are infused with glitter! Life would be perfect if I could have glittery skin that smells like lollipops!

          **Thank you for allowing, HG!**

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Only this once, it’s not QVC!

          2. MB says:

            You’re the best!

          3. HG Tudor says:


        2. blackcoffee30 says:

          Thanks, HG. 😀

        3. MB says:

          BC30, OMG! I went in the very second they opened the site just now. I put five things in my cart and they kept disappearing. I went to PayPal checkout with three items and then one disappeared! SOLD OUT WHILE IN MY CART!! I ended up with two of the items I wanted. This stuff must be great. Can’t wait to try the “Last Unicorn Shine Spray” I ordered. I tried for the Fruit Loops Confetti, but you must’ve taken it from my cart! 😂

          1. blackcoffee30 says:

            Ah! I’m so glad you got something. It’s suuuuuper popular. I’m stocked up until the July sale. Some of the whipped butters and such have glitter. Can’t wait to hear how you like it.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No reviews required thank you ta.

          3. MB says:

            I knew I was pushing it, HG. I’ll leave this right here. I haven’t been on the naughty step in a while and don’t want to break my streak.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Is that a dirty streak, MB?

          5. MB says:

            It’s indicative but not determinative of a dirty streak, Sir.

          6. blackcoffee30 says:

            Do it! I’ll respond. I hear there’s dungeon somewhere where we get spanked. LOL

          7. MB says:

            BC30, there is a dungeon! There is also a naughty stool of which NA is quite familiar. I’ve been sent twice. One was an extended stay and I neither observed nor received said spankings, but I did get some bedtime stories and tea. However I have no interest in returning so I will enjoy my purchases quietly. The Boss does not enjoy moderating posts about shopping and/or sex toys. (In addition to baking and recipes.) He might have even amended the rules to ban those topics too. I better go have a look. He hasn’t done a refresher post on rules in quite awhile. We must be behaving for the most part!

          8. Renarde says:


            Only twice? I think you jesteth!

            Rember your Pavolvian response! To Creed Viking?

            In point of fact there are twin dungeons. One is the ante room where tea might be served.

            The second is the one with a
            The St Andrew’s cross. The spanking bench. The cage. The restraints drilled into the wall.

            And how could I forget The Wheel?

          9. Violetta says:

            What is this, Castle Anthrax?


      2. NarcAngel says:

        Just stuff some Fruit Loops in your bra. Mission accomplished on the scent and snacks for later.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          But surely they will just become melon flavour?

          1. blackcoffee30 says:

            Stop! LMAO

        2. Kim e says:

          wont the Fruit Loops be covered with glitter if in MBs’ bra? I think that is where her stashis.

          1. MB says:

            Kim e, Ha Ha There’s stray glitter all around and does make its way into the bra at times 🤣 It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

          2. Violetta says:

            Don’t inhale it by mistake. I met someone at a reenactment who did that because it was dark and she was already smashed and thought someone was handing her cocaine, and she was sneezing out glitter for a year.

          3. MB says:

            Violetta, sneezing, sprinkling, I’d be ok with that!

          4. Kim e says:

            That is not smashed That is a whole different level of f’d up. 🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳

          5. Violetta says:


            Seriously, it can get into your lungs and cause major problems.

          6. MB says:

            Violetta, Glitter is something I take very seriously, believe me! I’d never really snort anything. I have a virgin nose! (Is that a thing?) Someone on here said they may ban it due to it affecting ocean life. If they do, I will need to commission a narcissist straight away to help me create an environmentally friendly alternative.

        3. Renarde says:


          Either that or cucumber will never be placed in my mouth.

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