Please Please Please
I want you to do your best. That is a noble intention is it not? I want you to try harder each day. I want you to aim high and strive to improve on what you achieved the previous day. Though exhaustion may be clouding your vision and that ache in your limbs reminds you of the strenuous ministrations that you have attended to, I know that you can push through it and do it more, better, faster and stronger.
I believe in you. Those other imposters are mere charlatans. Am I not the one who has given you a perfect love? You need to keep that perfect love and earn it. Accordingly, each day I will pull it away from you. On a Monday it might be the case that I do not kiss you. I will not give you an explanation for this withholding as you must work it out. Once you have you need to work hard to recover my kiss. The next day I will not return the hug you always give me when we first get up. Rather than complaining hold your tongue and consider this all part of your on going education. If you want my perfect love to manifest through those warm, safe hugs that you relish then you must please me so that you may have them again.
You repeatedly comment to me that there has to be give and take in a relationship. I am doing exactly what you ask for. I take away in order to make you give more and then you will be rewarded. In order to avoid any complacency on your part you will find that the next time I withdraw from kissing you, your first response which reinstated my luscious embrace will not work a second time.
No that would be far too easy. You need to ascertain what different act you must accomplish in order to secure my tender kisses. I know you will do it. Who would not in order to feel my mouth against yours and that soaring sensation inside as the relief floods through you, knowing that you have secured its return. Admit it, the potential loss of my affection at any time for any reason excites you. You do not want mediocrity. You want excitement. You want to feel like you are flying, soaring, bursting and spinning with delight.
I am the only one who can supply that to you and thus you willingly engage with me in these games as I push you further and further, pulling back a little more each time so you wrack your brain and strain your sinews to find the answer once again. It would be wrong of me to say I only do this for your benefit. I do not. I do it wholly for mine since I need you to please me. You please me by being the puppet jerking on my strings, doing everything at my behest. The surge of power that I get from this control surpasses anything you might get from our relationship, but are we not both getting something from it, so where’s the harm in pleasing me?
15 thoughts on “Please Please Please”
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This was an excellent post, HG. Thank you for continuing to open our eyes. Truly appreciate you.
You are welcome.
Give and take. How about not? Went through that far too many times. Exhausting.
Sometimes I find your articles on this triggering I went out to a party last night with some friends and ex-husband was there he literally told everybody how much he wanted me back people we didn’t even know then he got so drunk that I had to take him home because I couldn’t leave him in that state I think I will always love him in a way but I don’t have any romantic feelings towards him any more I feel like I’ve been alone in the relationship the whole time really gets me because he’s being so good I don’t understand why couldn’t be this way when we were together because he would’ve kept me now I don’t want to be with anyone all I’ve ever had is narcissists I am less alone single than in a relationship
1. If you knew the ex-husband who I assume is a narcissist would be at the party, you should have either
a. Not attended
b. Implemented steps to remain away from him at the party
Dependent on how long your no contact regime has been in place. The longer it has been in place, then the more able you would have been to implement (b)
2. If you did not know he would have been there and was surprised to see him there, you ought to have left.
3. You are under no obligation to take him home. Your empathic trait of caring was corrupted by high ET causing you to breach no contact in this manner and also has made you think and feel in the way that you have described.
Revisit your no contact regime, I will help you if you wish, through consultation.
Yes I think he is somewhere In the midrange from how you have described them but he does have a tendency to be violent and verbally abusive It took a lot for me to leave I don’t think he knows what he is I do need help I still feel responsible for him I hate seeing him suffer
We were together for 17 years so all of our friends are mutual and we have kids I can’t make them choose it’s not fair on them I have not been able to get no contact and feel trapped
There is much you can do and you high level of ET is causing you to believe that you are trapped. You are not. Organise a consultation and I will help you in detail.
Veronique:
“I still feel responsible for him”
You are more responsible for your kids.
You are MOST responsible for yourself, so you can take care of your kids. You know how the airlines tell parents to put on their own oxygen masks first if there’s an emergency, so they’ll stay conscious and able to help their kids?
Do the consult. If you can’t afford it, ask for assistance. You can pay it forward when you’re in a better situation.
Yes, this is also how narc parents treat their children. I want you to improve! It´s not good enough! You must look better, have the best grades at school, be the best at sports, be the perfect child I can show off and use to gather fuel from other people, I want the relatives, neighbors, strangers, whoever look at us and envy me for my “perfect” daughter! Yep! Greetings from Patri Narc. Eeew!
My mother put constant pressure on us, especially me, to marry. I wondered how she could think we were fit for it after repeatedly having to summon the police to pry Daddy’s fingers off her neck, but I now see that’s why she was so desperate. It would show we weren’t really that damaged by our insane family after all.
Fuel =A kiss. Who would have known .
Hello HG, if the narcissist is in relationship for a year – first 6 months obviously golden, he is flaunting IPPS and has no interest in other women, then months of silence – no relationship bulletins, he is silent, she is silent, instead he is more and more interested in new women- follows them on social media, leaves flirty comments. Then all of the sudden he unfollows them, stops flirting and shows off IPPS again like in the beginning of relationship and she does the same. Is it this sudden change of their behaviour a respite period?
You ought to be asking yourself why, when you know you are dealing with a narcissist, are you continuing to breach no contact by monitoring what is going on in the new relationship? This is contrary to your interests and if you do not see that it is, your ET is high and you need to address that.
With regard to the behaviour – golden period, then devaluation and then respite period.
You are right, my ET still causes some problems, I keep it low enough to not react to hoovers and to keep him blocked but high enough to be sometimes doubtful about if he is a narcissist or if its just my imagination to project my ego demaged so much by devaluation and discard. So when I hear from mutual friends he is doing good and is in finally commited relationship I check it its true and look for signs of manipulation on his part to prove myself he hadnt changed.
Do the NDC, instruct your friends not to talk about him to you.