Prayer for the Victim



I will pray for you because I know that you seek redemption at my loving hand. It is understandable. You are a lost soul. I know, hush, you need not speak for restoration hangs from my lips. Listen and allow my words to grant you the salvation that you are so desperate for. I know what you are. I know because I am everywhere, I am everyone and I am everything.

I understand what has happened to you. I know how you have been let down. I know how disappointment followed you like an unshakeable shadow, no matter how you applied yourself. Oh I know beneath the sin you are a good person. Your acts and your words are like beams of white light that have punctured through the dark firmament that has wrapped itself around you, cloaking you in the venom that was placed over you so long ago. Others think that they know you, but they do not.

They think that this person who moves through life, never seeking to offend or hurt, never wanting to wound or injure, a person who wishes to bring calm, bring healing and bring solace to this world, they think that this person becomes weighed down by the misery, the chaos and the injustice which rises like some ever encroaching tide. They think that it is this which causes those pure tears to trickle down that unblemished skin.

They think that it is all of those things which coil like rusty chains about you, dragging you down, hauling you into the quagmire of human misery and dejection. They are mistaken. You can readily with those outrageous slings and arrows. You are made of stern stuff. The insults only spur you on to succeed. The recalcitrance is but a signal to you to keep trying. The rejections just symptomatic of those you wish to help not understanding their own pain.

Yes, it is trying, but you are able to rise above all of this. The woes of this world are not designed to weigh heavy on one such as you. I know this. The others do not. I understand that you were sent to bring light and love to the unloved, the broken, the hurt and the despairing.

No matter how poisonous the world you will breathe your purity out, ever giving and ever resourceful until you have pushed aside those toxic clouds, dissipated the polluted fogs and brought restorative blue skies and dazzling sunshine. You are someone who is able to right the wrongs of this world. I recognise all of this.

I also know that it is not these external troubles which mean that I must pray for you. It is the burden that lies deep within you. Few know of it do they? Just you and perhaps him oh and them as well but they do not want to talk about it do they? They did not back then.

They did not listen and you must be heard, isn’t that right? I listen to you. The difference is though I actually hear you. I hear that silent tortured scream which emanates from you regularly. That howling wilderness that exists inside someone who appears to be so wholesome. The rest of them are too eager to avail themselves of your goodness so that they fail to notice the wounds which are riddled throughout you.

The weeping sores, the festering wounds all caused by him so long ago. None of them recognise these things but I do. I am trained to do so. I am attuned to scent your agony which you mask so well but it is that pain which acts like a siren’s call to me because I am the only one that can save you. Those fools that mill about you, all they wish to do is take from you and you allow that to happen because you regard that as your role. It is admirable in the extreme.

The extent of your serenity when they might sorely test you is quite the thing to behold. Yet, there is no solace for you is there? Where is your tranquillity, your place of sanctuary? That has always been denied to you has it not? Well, no longer, for I have been sent in order to redeem you. I am the bottomless receptacle into which you must pour yourself. Alleviate yourself of the leaden weight of despair and with such excellent proclamation, cast it into me. I shall absorb it all.

Everything that has plagued you, pained you and seared through you with terrible agony can now be poured into me. I am your saviour. All I ask is that you allow your every emotion to be exhibited and exposed and in return I will be the one that finally cures you of those entrenched woes. Nobody understands what you have endured, but I do. I did not see what happened to you but I know what happened to you. It is etched across you, in the way you smile, the way you move, the way you love.

Only I can recognise this and in turn that is why it is only me that can be your salvation. Nobody else can achieve that for you. You do not even know it but that is why you are drawn to me in this manner, with such intensity. You think that you know what I am. You do not. You will come to think that you must repair me and make me good once again. But it is you that must be mended.

There is something very wrong with you, something that happened so long ago that often you forget what it is, but it will not forget you. I am the redeemer. I am your salvation.

Kneel before me and with my anointed hand, let me place it on your wretched head and in so doing I shall cleanse you. You have found me now and you shall never be parted from me, for now it is only I that can save you.”

18 thoughts on “Prayer for the Victim

  1. NarcAngel says:

    The promises and indoctrination of religion. It’s no wonder then that it works when it comes mirrored in human form to those who believe.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Fair comment.

    2. lickemtomorrow says:

      Hi NA,

      I’m trying to understand your mirroring comment and hope you will expound.

      Are you suggesting HG is mirroring the notion of salvation to us?

      If that is the case I would not disagree. What can’t be accounted for, from my perspective, is the very real action of God in people’s lives. A non-believer will not see this, but a believer will. It is a fundamental difference in outlook. And I think I touched on it in my response to Fiddleress just now that we ensure we see HG with a clear vision and also what he is offering us.

      An open heart and mind will often see and experience things others don’t. It is also the reason we fall into the trap the narcissist has set. Has HG set a trap for us by offering us this salvation? Is the article to raise awareness about how the trap can be set, and subsequently how we can fall into it? What is HG thinking when he writes these articles?

      We will never know, but people take out of them what they will. If you’re a cynic you might say “yeah, right, what a load of bollocks”; it is possible to be repulsed by it and sickened that the narcissist could even consider being a means of healing as well as hurt; as someone who sees the value in a belief in God I recognize the beauty of the salvific notion. Which is what I have done in relation to this article.

      HG may use it as an example of mirroring. He may also use it because he sees himself as the ‘saviour’ of empaths and can relate this back to his ‘Ultra’ status. Maybe both.

      Consciousness allows us many paths to understanding.

  2. lickemtomorrow says:

    This article is mesmerizing. I can’t I’ve read it before (I liked it) and yet somehow didn’t comprehend it. I agree, Fiddleress, this may have been a foretaste of what was to come.

    I sank right into this as I read it.

    It speaks to the deepest part of the soul. The desire to be seen and heard. The desire for salvation.

    Right now I have no more words. This is truly the most beautiful piece HG has written I have read.

    This empath is sitting quietly at the feet of one who knows the depths of her suffering, having applied it himself.

    1. Fiddleress says:

      I agree lickemtomorrow that this text is mesmerising. What disturbed me was the fact that it involved being mesmerised by a human being, as I thought it did here (the ‘I’).
      The writing is indeed extremely beautiful, and if there is one thing I love and embrace, that is to be mesmerised by the written or spoken word (by music, also).
      But the final paragraph made me feel ensnared again, as I see longing to be saved as conducive to being ensnared, or at least there is a heightened risk as soon as the human factor comes into play.
      I agree with Asp Emp in her comment below, about the final paragraph being reminiscent of the article The Holy Narcissist.
      I have a problem with kneeling before anyone or anything. I had several conversations with a Protestant Minister about ten years ago, because I was curious to learn more about their way of thinking (I knew the Catholic way better from familial and cultural background, though I didn’t go to church). He said that Protestants (at least, in the Reformed Protestant Church here) do not kneel before God, because God and Jesus are there to make you rise again, and that God doesn’t want you down on your knees, but standing and ready to go through life with your faith held high. I found it interesting. But I realise that, as he said it himself, there are different sensitivities and ways to experience and express faith.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Thank you for the mention, Fiddleress. The Holy Narcissist generated much discussion!

        1. Fiddleress says:

          Asp Emp, I don’t agree either with the reference that is made to narcissists as devilish creatures. It is just a way of using religious imagery to talk about things. It is almost poetic, in a dark sort of way (not my poetry, just borrowing from what I have read and heard).
          Glad it made you laugh!

      2. lickemtomorrow says:

        Thank you for your very thoughtful comment, Fiddleress. I can concur with yours and Asp Emp’s thinking as this is certainly one view you can take of the article and which is probably how I viewed it the first time.

        I can’t explain this ‘epiphany’ moment, but something changed for me when I read it again today. I have already accepted ‘salvation’ in the context of the Church, so that wasn’t what this was about for me. Though it could be misinterpreted, so I appreciate the clarification you have provided.

        There are times when we enter into a different stream of consciousness and that’s what this moment was about for me. That’s probably the easiest way to explain it.

        I experienced a connection to a deeper meaning which was not so much about taking a knee to the narcissist. It was more accepting a certain knowledge which in some ways could only be proffered by the narcissist. Only they know the pain they have really caused us because they are the architect of that pain. Most are oblivious to the pain they cause, but HG is not. He is aware. And while he is unable to heal himself, and does not believe he needs healing, he offers the knowledge he has to help heal others. As we know, empaths are the narcissist’s greatest victims. I saw it more as the awakening moment of the knowledge he has to offer, and that in a sense being our ‘salvation’.

        Salvation from the narcissist.

        It’s an interesting idea that your curiosity and questioning brought up about the notion of kneeling. And there are many different ways to express and experience our faith. I will only ever kneel to God. Otherwise I am up off my knees.

        But today I felt an allegiance to HG and the knowledge he provides here, too. It seems a strange word to use – allegiance. But it is not to something other than the recognition that what he is able to provide here is unique and in many ways life affirming. Get out and stay out is life affirming for the empath. It removes them from the path of destruction and positions them in a much safer place.

        It’s not an experience I expected to have when reading this article again today. I don’t know why I read it with different eyes. It is a personal reflection and from my perspective related to a different level of consciousness. That’s the only way I can explain it.

        But I thank you for your comment and clarification again. People are at different stages of their healing journey and this was a very personal healing moment for me.

        1. Fiddleress says:

          LET, I totally understand what you mean by allegiance to HG. I would probably use the term loyalty myself, but I understand.
          In fact, I suppose HG’s work (so, HG) has saved me in a way: he has managed to rid me of an enormous and paralysing feeling of guilt, and this is the basis of salvation, isn’t it? Since
          the feeling of guilt is self-accusation, and I know that the devil is also called the great accuser.
          Delivered from evil, i.e. (self)accusation, by a narcissist – that is so ironic/mind-blowing/remarkable.
          I may not be religious, but I have found interesting ways of expressing things in various religions. And since narcissists are often referred to as the devil’s spawn, I think talk of salvation is quite apt.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            You made me laugh “And since narcissists are often referred to as the devil’s spawn”. I get it. I don’t necessarily agree, but I still liked it.

            However, in saying that – I am gonna be shot down and visited by ‘Death’ for this….. hmmm, I wonder, if all the stuff about ‘God’ and the ‘Devil’ are really in fact related to Empaths and Narcissists even since Life “started”??? I’ve never “seen” God or the Devil, for that matter, do anything for me – despite ‘praying’ – I gave up YEARS ago…. but KTN is here, now, that matters – to me and a lot of others. I still don’t do any praying.

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            Hi Fiddleress, yes loyalty and allegiance would be interchangeable so there is room for both 🙂

            I’m happy to hear HG was able to help relieve you of your sense of guilt and it’s often not warranted, but unless and until we are made aware then we carry it. And it can be such a heavy burden. So the lifting of that can be a tremendous relief and we are grateful for it. I can’t tell you how many things I have been relieved of since developing the awareness I have developed here. I’ve described it as ‘making sense’. Being relieved of the confusion and the disarray caused by the narcissist/s. It has been life affirming for me.

            You are right it is ironic. I’m sure HG thinks so, too. Or, as he’s said before, he finds it ‘amusing’ to be able to deny all the lower narcissist’s their empaths (or at least that’s how I interpret it). So, we need to remind ourselves at times of the very differing perspectives and emotionless content HG is offering. We are the ones breathing life into it, giving it emotion and being affected. But, it is not without its ability to heal. And that is what I give recognition to.

            On another thread I touched on the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt can be healthy in a wrong has been committed and our conscience is demanding we right that wrong. This could be as simple as an apology, but is warranted at times. Shame is the self accusation which keeps haranguing us and refuses to allow us to move on. This is not healthy and is designed to keep us in place. We need to reject it at all costs in order to grow and heal.

            As to narcissist’s being the devil’s spawn, I often come back to the spiritual in relation to the narcissist. There will always be a spiritual element to this for me, so I agree. Salvation is an apt term for use in relation both to the narcissist and delivery from the same.

        2. Asp Emp says:

          “But today I felt an allegiance to HG and the knowledge he provides here, too. It seems a strange word to use – allegiance” – I’m glad to see this. HG knows what he is and what he is doing (for us). That is what I respect about him.

          I read the rest of your comment with interest.

          I can say now, for a fact, I won’t kneel for anyone.

          Liking your new pic 🙂

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            Glad to see we share the same sense of respect Asp Emp 🙂

            The kneeling is also bringing up some interesting perspectives! But I do remember making a comment on the blog a while ago saying “Empaths, up of your knees, please”, and have only just now been reminded I said that 🙂 Must have known the kneeling issue was going to rear its head at some stage.

            Thanks for the compliment about my pic. It is romance personified for me – he’s going to kiss her because she needs kissing and badly, and to be kissed often and by someone who knows how x It’s also the image to be avoided at all costs when it comes to the narcissist. Setting myself a little reminder 😉

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Rhett was a narcissist too 😉 (oh, we are getting good – not quite up there – as yet). x

          3. lickemtomorrow says:

            Was he? I thought we were undecided about that.

            He certainly displayed some narc tendencies, but …

            I’ll think about that tomorrow 😉

    2. JB says:

      I don’t remember reading this before. It’s incredible, fly on the wall stuff. Thank you, HG.

  3. Fiddleress says:

    This article disturbed me somewhat when I first read it back in August.
    The inverted commas made me wonder.
    Now I see it as a preparation to the (then) forthcoming Dark Cupid series. Just a thought.

  4. Asp Emp says:

    “Oh I know beneath the sin you are a good person”.

    Beneath the SIN? The sins are more often than not, amplified or put there because of narcissistic abuse (someone who is not narcissistic by nature can become a narcissist’s narcissist when they have endured such behaviours / treatment).

    The last paragraph in this post – reminds me of the post ‘The Holy Narcissist’.

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