Lonely
I like it when you are lonely. That is my favourite place for you. When we first meet if you make mention of feeling lonely, or send a self-pitying tweet decrying your loneliness then I am straight on to you. You may as well have taken a knife to your chest, slit it open and shouted, “Come and get me.” Those in a state of loneliness are massively susceptible to my overtures when I decide to engulf you in my bombardment of flattery and zealous appreciation. Those who have tired of their single status and wallowing in solitary confinement seize on this interest of mine. The red flags may be fluttering but you never see them or if you do, you think “how pretty”.
I may make you feel wanted and special but all I am doing is moving you. I am transporting you from loneliness in the real world to isolated splendour in my false reality. Once I have positioned you there I shall busy myself cutting you off from family, friends and acquaintances.
You will readily go along with my fabricated denigrations of people you once held dear and who you saw regularly. You want more of the sugar that I am pouring on you. To do that you need to spend more time with me and thus less with anyone else. It is hardly a sacrifice though is it? Any dissenting voices are marginalised by cleverly constructed smear campaigns against these people (watch out – that campaign will be used against you in the not too distant future). You are an eager co-conspirator happy to discard these people (how can you be so callous?) with the repeated promise and reward of more of my intoxicating attention.
Once all those ties have been cut you are mine. You are dependent on me for everything. You have nobody to turn to and thus your focus will always be on me. As you try harder to please me, the realisation of your isolation becomes all the more apparent. You can feel the tendrils of loneliness wrapping around you once again.
I know you will feel this and I know you will do all the more to cling onto me, your life raft, your beacon of hope in the wilderness. Anything to avoid being left alone. I am afraid it is too late. Your isolation was sealed the moment you listened to me. You are so alone nobody can hear you scream.
8 thoughts on “Lonely”
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The isolation is the worst thing a narcissist can do to someone – a higher up at work told others not to be in contact with me. This narcissist knew exactly what they were doing. Yet they “profess” to empower people that are vulnerable – absolutely BS. They’ll be forced to move from their “kingdom” to a couple of rocks to live and work under…….
I was definitely very isolated with the last narc. Things turned bad with him very quickly and it was a tornado the entire time. I wasn’t allowed to speak to family (who are far away from me geographically) and not allowed to associate with the friends I had. I had to endure the non stop games and manipulations and was treated worse each time. At one point during one of the many arguments he said to me ‘do you want me to leave you alone?’ which he was saying in a tone so it would come across as a threat. The thought crossed my mind that I was alone the ENTIRE time he was destroying my life at in fact there was no relationship and it was all a lie. I am grateful for the past few months, including the onset of the pandemic. Why? Lucky for me, he ran off to another city after a huge argument in which I basically said most of what I had to say including that his putting me in major debt would mean the end of things. As luck would have it, the city where he ran off to be with the other ones turned out to be a major hot spot for the COVID virus, which meant he couldn’t come back right away and make trouble for me. He was supposed to go for two weeks and then come back, that is until I came to my final decision. After a stressful night of no sleep I had my wakeup call. I ended it with him by text messages, giving an explanation and so forth but of course he had to turn around and attempt to up the ante with threats and verbal assaults over the phone. I stood my ground and didn’t budge. I did have to involve the police a few times. It was time for the satanic merry go ride to end. So while it was tough in lockdown trying to get assistance and then start to try to make sense of what had happened to me (I had no idea until I was told by a counsellor), and while I was legitimately alone, I still felt better than I ever did when he was around. He was never really there anyway, even when physically present. I was a transaction that was used by him as he saw fit. I still have lots to learn about all of this, not that I want to focus on the abusive behaviours but to understand what I went through so I can learn from it. These days, I am feeling much better on my own. I have people I can reach out to and NONE of them are him.
Great article. But very sad.
The narc I know even sees men who have no wife or children ….and live alone as guys he will befriend if there is money he can gain from them. Nobody would see this as a bad thing from the outside …nobody.
HG, you just described what Quarantine felt like to me . It is an awful feeling and The Narcissist loves to take advantage of that. Thank god now I am getting out and into the real world all thanks to you .
Crazy timing. I woke up just an hour or so ago with Bobby Womack singing in my head:
If you think you’re lonely now,
Wait until tonight, girl
Very Nice.. Almost every person is suffering from loneliness these days … 🙁