10 Online Threats to the Narcissist´s Control

73 thoughts on “10 Online Threats to the Narcissist´s Control

  1. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Speaking of narcissism online: I am convinced the people that work in embassies are narcs or have received a course on how to deal with you like a narcissist. I’m about to lose my shit. Inhale/exhale…

  2. leelasfuelstinks says:

    I remember once I defended a friend of ours online. This friend was in trouble and a couple of people who knew him defended him and so did I, besides, I dared to greet him friendly. No flirting!

    3 weeks of silent treatment!

    Lovely, isn´t it? 😉 😀

  3. BC30 says:

    Why wouldn’t the N set their settings such that someone else cannot tag them? I imagine it is to retain control over an appliance who *could* tag the N, but dares not.

    When I roll out, I cut off of ALL my social media and all my accounts/personas. However, where there’s a will there’s a way, so if one really wanted to see what I post on FB they could find a way to do it despite the fact that I have all my settings set as privately as one can. Meh.

  4. Sweetest Perfection says:

    I agree with every single one of them, especially # 5…
    Narc’s private message: “Hey! I posted a comment on intersectional feminism this morning! Did you read it?” Me: “Ah, yes.” Narc: “It was addressed to YOU! You didn’t even like it.” Me: “I liked it, I just forgot, sorry.” Narc: “Come on, comment something on it!” Me: go back and press “like.”
    Narc: posts pic in swimming trunks exhibiting his abs. I intentionally ignored.
    Private message: “hey, in case you didn’t check Facebook today: (said picture).” Me: secretly hahahaha.
    Narc: private message: “only for your eyes” (picture showing abs). Ten minutes later: posts said picture on Facebook.
    The level of attention seeking this guy suffers is unreal.

    1. BC30 says:

      Who is this guy/Why are you interacting with him? Genuinely curious, no judgment here.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        His name is Big Somatic Mistake and I am not interacting with him anymore, no worries. I’ve been no contact for 2 years and a half.

        1. BC30 says:

          Yay! You also have a new Holiday Avi!

        2. BC30 says:

          OH!! I just noticed what your ornaments are! They look like tiny album covers!

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Cute, aren’t they?

          2. NarcAngel says:

            Depeche Mode Christmas ornaments. Nice.

        3. BC30 says:

          ❤️

    2. Empath007 says:

      HAHAHAHA ! Mine was not like that AT ALL. He had everything about his social media completely under his control. He knew if someone was trying to “manipulate” him using social media and always knew just how to respond. Which I suppose answers my own question about me unblocking him.. he knows exactly what I’m doing, and will patiently wait until I collapse and give in… putting the control back in his hands once again ! haha. But mine was not reactive. Very patient. thought about all his next moves…. all good reminders of why I should not try to provoke him.

  5. mollyb5 says:

    HG? ..Can actually being online make people more narcissistic “acting” .

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes and that is something which chiefly affects normals because of their narrower radius of emotional empathy. This is why, for example, internet trolls includes narcissists and some normals. I will be addressing this in detail in the future.

      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        jeeeees what! I’ve clearly been giving normals too much credit

      2. mollyb5 says:

        HG ? Have you talked about the fires anywhere in your library of teachings ? please , direct me to this knowledge .

        1. HG Tudor says:

          The fires?

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Laughing….. come on, there surely has been some fires – I had one (laughing) – burning all the photographs of days out with Lesser and I took great pleasure in doing so……

          2. mollyb5 says:

            HG. I ask years ago about fires being set . You said you would discuss that in the future. I assumed it meant you weren’t ready to discuss what got you into counseling by your family. Was I wrong about that ?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you for clarifying. Yes, I will write about my pyromania and I have addressed it in part in The Knowing HG Series.

          4. lickemtomorrow says:

            I am fascinated by this. If this is part of your condition, what makes it so? And how does it affect you now? I’m assuming it is another ‘incurable’ aspect, but how does one deal with an urge to set fires? We’ve heard very little about this, but I understand it was an aspect of your childhood. I will so interested to read more.

            And does pyromania also relate to other things of an explosive nature? Such as fireworks? I’m always in awe of the people that create those fabulous light shows for us to enjoy every New Year. The ability to time such things is truly amazing.

          5. lickemtomorrow says:

            Oh, I think I was thinking of “pyrotechnics” there!

            Probably not related, but pyro anything is fascinating to me.

            I’m going to relate it to power.

          6. Asp Emp says:

            I looked into ‘pyromaniacs’ and I thought to myself, it is not necessarily the “excitement” of staring a fire itself or watching it and the “feeling” after starting the fire. Narcissists do “feel” something inside them but do not know what it is – so in my view, the “starting” a fire “process” does not give the narcissist the true “answer” to what they are really “seeking”. Their ‘creature’ does not permit it. In my view, a ‘pyromaniac’ is a narcissist ‘instinctively’ trying to “remove” their ‘darkness’ (and they CAN’T do it, because they don’t know what they are “dealing” with)…. having said that, I take absolute delight in seeing a very small and part empty tin of lighter fluid being thrown on a bonfire that had a double settee added to it and it did not really catch fire, so I threw on my tin of lighter fluid…. 30 seconds later……. FFS, the reaction of the people there (around 10 of us) – jumped in surprise, including me, AND the rest of the people within a mile radios (LOL) – fkg loud BANG. At 12 midnight. Ah, bless. The excitement…… it was AWESOME.

          7. lickemtomorrow says:

            OK, I’m going to add another two cents worth here.

            I found your thoughts interesting, AspEmp. They seem to relate to the idea of darkness and light, the fire providing light to help banish the darkness the narcissist experiences. I hope I got that right.

            I’m going to reiterate my earlier point about power, and possibly control.

            Fire is an enormously powerful phenomenon, as your experience with lighter fuel suggests, and my feeling is a pyromaniac gets a sense of power from its destructive force. I’d say that could combine with the narcissist’s need for control, but it is possibly a completely separate issue to narcissism. Although we know when a narcissist feels powerful they feel in control, or when they feel in control they feel powerful, which is important to the narcissist and keeping the creature at bay. So potentially the creature does feature in some way.

            When I looked it up just briefly, I discovered pyromania can also be associated with stress relief. If you consider the various ways people find to relieve their stress this is obviously one of the more destructive ones.

            I will be very interested to learn more from HGs perspective when he decides to share.

          8. Asp Emp says:

            “They seem to relate to the idea of darkness and light, the fire providing light to help banish the darkness the narcissist experiences” – narcissists do not know what is ‘inside’ them – so, what I was saying, are they instinctively trying to ‘rid’ of their ‘creature’ (they will not understand because they do not have emotional empathy – that part of their brain is ‘shut down’ – unlike us empaths).

            I agree when you suggest that it is a form of stress relief (RE: starting fires).

            I will share more about myself, I was not able to always communicate across when I was really hurting (emotionally / mentally) – mother was causing the hurt and being the only adult in the house and not being able to call my grandmother because I cannot – the ‘hurt’ is eating away at me inside (not any more though) and it can actually build up to the point where, I suppose, your brain / emotions get totally fkd up and in turn affecting my physical health. It’s a very dangerous position to be in because it can go beyond the point of no repair. This is probably also why some people end up being ‘sectioned’ under Mental Health Act.

            Having said all of that – narcissists (and other adults experiencing child abuse / trauma) may act out their ‘hurt’ by “communicating” in different ways. Children who start fires (or do other things that are in society’s eyes / considerations – possibly even criminal actions) are too young to understand why they are doing it. If a child lacks the parental care to encourage / teach the child to talk about how they feel or they tink – then that child is being ‘conditioned’ not to be able tot talk things through.

            I seriously thought I would end up being ‘sectioned’ over a year ago. I know enough now to not be in the position again.

            I felt excitement and pleasure when I burned photographs of Lesser & threw that lighter fluid into the fire and the bang it created. I am no ‘pyromaniac’ – yet, it could be my narcissist traits or my Aspergers…. it’s the shock factor that is created and I don’t feel guilty about it, I still do not see why I should have to explain myself to anyone really….. (laughing)

            It will be interesting when HG decides to to share his perspective.

            Thank you for moderating this long comment, HG.

          9. A Victor says:

            Not being aware of any pyromania impulses prior to this thread, at first it felt a bit like a kick in the gut, it is easy to forget the psychopath part, you are so professional HG and also, the power of fire is so devastating, it is uncomfortable for me to fathom anyone causing fires on purpose except in appropriate places. But, now, very interested in learning more about this also, LET, HG’s experience with it.

          10. lickemtomorrow says:

            Hey, AV, it is possible to lose sight of what HG actually is and what he does at times. And I’m saying this with a loving empath heart. It is very hard to grasp that the person we meet here in HG is capable of any of the sometimes terrible things we read about in his articles, books, as well as on the blog. Much as the narcissist compartmentalizes us, I think we sometimes, in this case, compartmentalize the narcissist. I know I do. I have to. There is the possibility of rejecting HG outright, which some people do, of course, and that always makes me sad. I’m not sure if there is the possibility of embracing him fully, in the sense that we are too far removed and HG keeps us from the danger concerned. Put that way, it makes it even clearer that in many ways we don’t know what or who we are dealing with. I’m camped in the middle with an ability to compartmentalize as necessary. I am fascinated by HG as a person, and the various aspects to his nature, many of which are interconnected with my experience. Those which are not I am intrigued by, in the manner of wanting to understand. For the most part there is no ‘accepting’ those. It is just a matter of fact, I take a more objective stance, and hope to learn more. Another aspect of curiosity. I’ve always been curious about people.

            I get the ‘kick in the gut’, and every now and again HG pulls us up in that manner. I think it is for our benefit. And it is shocking at times when he does it. But it does not deter from his professionalism in terms of what he does here. Perhaps that says something about HGs ability to compartmentalize, too. Either way, you and I will both be interested to learn more, AV.

          11. HG Tudor says:

            Well stated.

          12. lickemtomorrow says:

            Thank you for sharing more of your story, AspEmp. I completely understand the notion of not having an outlet for your experiences, and in terms of the topic at hand the outlet required at times to help deal with them. So many things feed into that. Self harming could be an element of stress relief for some. And that being of a more destructive nature, too. Not being able to give a voice to your experiences is destructive in itself.

            I’m glad you are feeling so much better now, and sorry you were brought to the brink not so long ago. You must have been feeling overwhelmed at the time. And it’s obvious you’ve come a long way since then, much of it linked to the knowledge you’ve gained. I think a lot of us could say the same after coming to this place.

            I haven’t yet burned anything in relation to the narc, but am fully intending setting up a ‘funeral pyre’ at some stage to deal with my demons, or the demons he left me with. I think it will be cathartic, and it sounds like that was your experience. It will be a literal destruction as opposed to just a burial. That way there won’t be anything to dig up and he will be gone forever. Teetering on the edge of that right now.

            I’m with you on the interest factor when HG finally decides to share.

          13. Asp Emp says:

            Thank you LET. You have shown that you do understand how hard it was in my case.

            Truth be told – I had not realised how “overwhelmed” I was. I have to share further and I am not sure if there are others who may have also experienced – I never thought about suicide (not logically) but I FELT it. In my view, this is probably far more dangerous than ‘thinking about suicide’ because I was not aware I was feeling it – if you can understand? I had not recognised I was in that bad an “emotional and mental” state and for some reason, somehow, I “came out the other side” without actual suicide.

            I did share this with a GP friend and also a couple of other friends (who are very experienced in the field of advocacy etc) – when I told them I had ‘felt’ it and not thought it yet I recognised those ’emotions’ – they were shocked.

            This is another aspect to the affects of narcissists on uneducated empaths.

            So, if by any miracle – IF a so called medical professional is reading this comment – take bloody note and learn from Experts By Experience….. your training would not have taught you this!

            Burning – yes, the best way to rid – I think it will be cathartic. x

          14. lickemtomorrow says:

            Thank you AspEmp, and I always think we are privileged to learn more of another’s story. I appreciate you sharing what you have and the truth is there will be other’s here who will be able to identify with that. To have the feeling and not the thought seems to have been a real eye opener to the health professionals who were assisting you and “Have you had any suicidal thoughts?” would appear to be a common question asked to try and help determine what someone is thinking, and based on that the possibility of the same. It obviously doesn’t go far enough in some cases.

            And I think I get it. Feelings are the things that overwhelm us, and while they can have thoughts attached to them it is feelings that can also drive our behaviour. This is where the issue of emotional thinking can come into play as it pertains to our experience with the narcissist and as HG explains the need to get that under control with the use of more logical thinking. Which may have helped in your circumstances.

            I have certainly experienced that “no way out” feeling in the past and it can be crippling. It could also be termed “I just want to die” or I have also expressed it as “I don’t want to be here anymore”. To me those don’t add up to suicidal thoughts as much as feelings. The feelings are real and need to be dealt with. There are various ways of doing that and the hope is those in need know what services are available to them to help them manage in the circumstances. If not, they should look them up and keep them to hand. There is always a way out, and I remember a recent post here where many people offered support to someone who shared such thoughts. There was help available and I hope they will return.

            In my circumstances I found things which enabled me to keep going and they were things already in place but I lost sight of them for a short time in light of what I was experiencing. Grabbing hold of them again enabled me to hold on, too.

            Just to end on a lighter note, I had a couple of experiences yesterday which reminded me of the kindness of strangers. On one occasion I was lined up at the supermarket and there were two checkouts open, both had people already unloading trollies and with people who had a trolley load waiting behind. I had one item to purchase and stood at the end of one line. The lady in front who had not yet unloaded her trolley offered to let me in ahead of her. It was very kind of her to do that. Then I went to another store where I purchased an item which was quite heavy to carry. On my way to the counter, I had to pass a mother and her teenage daughter and excuse myself to get past them. While I was paying for my purchase the young girl came up beside me with a trolley and said she thought I might need that to bring my item out of the store and to the car. It was so sweet, and I was really grateful and told her so. Two actions of complete strangers that made me think again how worthwhile it was to be in the world and recognize how much people really care. Simple things. But often it’s the simple things that make all the difference <3

          15. Asp Emp says:

            RE: the people who listened to me are friends – not my ‘health professionals’. They never asked about suicidal thoughts etc – I told them because of the work they do and the fact that narcissism was the major factor of my wellbeing.

            It’s less than 5 months since I started the KTN journey and HG’s work was what I chose as my ‘therapy’. It was learning how to recognise the difference between the ET and LT type of ‘theories’ and how they can be put into practice that are explained in different ways (the various articles, packages, etc) – that is what I found valuable.

            What is even more liberating is the fact that the choice of material and information is there to suit us, empaths (and normals) whatever our preferred ‘Learning Styles’ are (visual; auditory; kinaesthetic). When I did my year long teaching course (I found some aspects interesting but was bored too) – I thought that teaching courses would be good for training people to be managers (assessing, understanding & mentoring employees).

            Yes, there are still some good people out ‘there’. Yet society as a whole, another matter…. good that you had two occasions of generosity in one day – that is very rare indeed.

            Thank you for talking with me on this, LET. Thanks also to HG for moderating these 🙂

          16. A Victor says:

            LET, thank you for your reply. Yes, I have experienced the kick in the gut sensation two other times here. Not pleasant but definitely good for learning/understanding.

            I have not understood why there is interest in HG personally, I am here to learn about narcissism at large and though he has the inside scoop, it hasn’t been clear how knowing more about him specifically would be of benefit. Now however, as I continue to wonder about my ex, I see where there is very likely benefit. And, I can see where it will be a useful tool to bring with me when talking with my daughter about some of this, her stepfather is the one in question and her husband is the one we worry about. I had been planning to purchase the Knowing HG series as a gift to myself far down the road, if I was still here and interested. But, now I may purchase them sooner. Thank you for your thoughts here!

          17. lickemtomorrow says:

            “Well stated”

            Thank you, HG.

          18. lickemtomorrow says:

            No worries on sharing my thoughts around HG and some of the lesser known aspects of his character which we are only able to comment on as he shares them with us. These do help provide insight (as well as a kick in the gut at times) but I do find them very specific to HG. On the blog we get the upfront, no shit, word on narcissism, and then HG generously provides another option for us to get to know him in greater depth. And it is generous. The “Knowing HG” series is fascinating and I would recommend it.

            I’m not sure how much it would benefit in terms of your ex and understanding him better, but I see you have concerns about your daughter. I think “Knowing HG” is more for our personal interest and understanding, but there’s no doubt plenty of other material here which you could use to help support your daughter. I often wonder if the first thing that needs to happen is someone needs to be questioning their situation. That indicates a degree of openness to any information being shared. I know you will be there as a listening ear for her, AV, and she is lucky to have you <3

          19. A Victor says:

            LET,

            My daughter has expressed concern, issues etc here and there over the years. Even to the point of stating to myself or her sister that she is going to divorce him. But it comes and goes. And I am not saying he is a narcissist or that she should get away from him, only she can make that call. I just hope that if he is hurting her as much as we suspect he is, not physically so much but emotionally, that she will consider doing something at some point. I feel that he has her very isolated, even with all her family close by, but, she is allowing that at this time also and I would never be pushy about it, so we have to wait for her timing. It is not easy though.

            Thank you for your description of the Knowing HG series. That does help in my decision making. I am on a quest for knowledge and strength right now, it seems that KHG may be more for fun, so I will leave it on the back burner for the time being and consider it when I am further along in my own growth. I do appreciate the analysis very much!

          20. lickemtomorrow says:

            AV, you are welcome, and HG posted a brilliant article in the last 24hrs for those who are concerned about a loved one who may be entangled with a narc. I’m hoping you’ve seen it, but if not look out for it. I’m sure it will help you. I think you are on the right track with your ideas and if she has raised issues of concern then there’s a good chance she’s on to him, just not able to unentangle herself yet. We’ve all been there and it takes time to get to the place where we feel able to do that. That awful push/pull dynamic the narc sets up makes it that much harder. The respite periods, the longing for the return of the golden period, and all the ways our empathic natures feed into the manipulations the narc is able to manufacture. I don’t know if she is aware of your recent experience or the discoveries you have made since then. That could be another avenue for introducing the topic. And I’m not sure if she was one of your daughter’s who were advising you, or if you’ve shared with them since, but it could be a wide open door in terms of sharing your experience. She’s is very fortunate to have you, willing and able to support her when she needs it.

          21. A Victor says:

            LET, yes, I think that article is Protecting Others from the Narcissist, it is very good.

            The daughter in question is my oldest, there are some guilt issues on her part I fear as we begged her not to marry him. He is one of 4 people (the other three being my mother, my ex and the summer narc over the phone once) who has screamed in my face, one time, for 15 minutes straight. It was terrifying. They were engaged at the time but she still went ahead and married him. So now I think it is hard for her to admit it was a questionable choice.

            Anyway, she is the daughter who, though encouraging me to date, wanted nothing to do with the relationship from last summer, she did not advise but rather shut it down if I tried to discuss him, both during and since. I am not sure what caused this. My other two daughters did listen and advise, also my son, and we’re all concerned for the oldest. She, having another child, will be even more trapped I fear. But, if she ever decides she needs to go, she will have a lot of support and protection from the rest of us.

            Thank you for your kind words, I feel fortunate to have my children, and also to be here learning.

          22. Stefanie Clements says:

            I would think that an NPD would only set a fire for control & the power/fuel it provides. I highly doubt that pyromaniacs & NPDS are the same. However, I can see an overlap if “punishment” indicated it to the NPD at the time. It would have to be personal for an NPD vs random for a Pyro.

      3. mollyb5 says:

        HG …Oh , and do narcs suddenly forget to keep secrets about themselves do they disclose information in the middle of arguments , such as an affair ? Then of course, lie and say they never said that ..lol.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Certain narcissists may do so, lower echelon.

        2. Empath007 says:

          Mine admitted he was a narcissists in the middle of an argument. I said he should look up the definition of a socio path… his face washed away of all color… I said “you’re aware you’re a socio path “
          …. he paused and said “ I think I’m more of a narcissist”

          Once I started sending him articles explaining his behaviour… he lost it… through it all back in my face and suddenly I was the abuser.

          That moment was the only time he’d ever tell me the truth though. And I’m very thankful for it.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Well, that was interesting to read. And not surprising at his reaction. It’s denial & deflection. Also wounded at your “criticism” because of sending all those articles “explaining his behaviour” (I have to admit I was laughing – inappropriately or appropriately – at those words).

            Yes, there were occasions when I made the MRN’s face completely drain of colour – something I said rang true yet he didn’t ‘flare up’ – maybe cried a couple of times (sympathy seeking & delfection & making me the “bad” one for making him cry, ahhh). I had ’empowerment’ afterall in my own style (laughing).

            Empaths and their Grenades……

          2. Empath007 says:

            It was pretty wild he actually said it out loud. His face was very expressive. I swear there are specific moments that will be tattooed in my memory for life and that was one of them.

            Had he not outed himself… I honestly don’t know if I would have ended up here.

            At the time I had no clue sending the articles was wounding … I hadn’t gotten that far in my research just yet …. but looking back yes his reaction was classic. Flipped it all around on me. Normally I would have been apologizing on my hands and knees… feeling bad for my reactions to his abuse. But now I understand emotional abuse elicited emotional reactions in me… and it’s as simple as that. I don’t owe him any apologies for it.

            But his face… I’ll never forget it. Ever.

            Empath gernade 🤣🤣 ha ! That had me laughing too.

          3. Asp Emp says:

            Him saying it out loud – cos he was pushed to his “limit” – loss of control, unconsciously but reacting instinctively. No wonder you say “it was pretty wild actually” – it certainly gave you satisfaction (eventually). (laughing). You sending the articles was too much for him – hence his fury back at you. He is refusing to acknowledge what he is – I suspect he did actually do a bit of ‘research’ but then did the 180 degree thing on you. That is typical of narcissist “response”. Refusing to acknowledge he is most probably a narcissist and also possibly freaked out because it’s the ‘handling / management’ of that knowledge…….

            High fives on the grenades 😉

          4. Empath007 says:

            Is that what it is HG ? He felt he unconsciously lost control ?

            I remember that was the first question I asked on this blog… whether his confession equates to being a greater… you said no.

            But he obviously felt a “difference”
            In himself enough to research it and come to that conclusion about himself.

  6. lickemtomorrow says:

    After listening to this, and in our age of modern technology, I can only imagine this must be fucking exhausting for the narcissist! What a nightmare when you are trying to juggle God knows how many fuel lines between IPPS, IPSS, DLS, etc. How TF do they not find out about eachother? Or are they fully aware of their position and therefore know not to question the narcissist’s control in this situation? What manipulations does the narcissist apply to convince them to keep their silence and remain hidden? And how does that work if the narc is expecting them to be responsive to him? I can only imagine mutliple accounts in multiple names as a means of compartmentalizing. So, who gets to know your real name? And then how are you able to keep that from others who are obviously closely associated via social media. This is fucked up.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      See the video “Is It Exhausting Being a Narcissist?”

      1. fox says:

        It’s great that there’s a video for that now, for as often as that is asked/assumed.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed, Fox.

      2. lickemtomorrow says:

        Apologies for my language in that comment! I must have been on a roll that day.

        And feeling very frustrated at the narcissist’s ability to manipulate.

        I will take note of your suggestion and thanks, HG.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          What language LET? 😉 (what you put is nothing in comparison to what I have used…… laughing)

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            Haha, AspEmp, and thanks 🙂

            I’m just noticing the writing above the comment box as I reply and it does say “Vent Your Spleen!” LOL. I was having a spleen venting moment and thankfully the rules don’t forbid the use of ‘flowery” language at times. Definitely helps to get the angst out some days, and there’s no doubt it’s cathartic. It also touches on our humanity x

          2. Asp Emp says:

            The Rules of Knowing The Narcissist – # 9. “excessive profanity”…….(laughing, sorry HG )
            Yes LET, it is stated in the rules (thankfully, not forbidden – laughing)……. yet, it is my way of “venting my spleen”…… my way of expressing my anger and by, God, I need it.

        2. A Victor says:

          No need for apologies LET, that comment helped my remember more about how my ex was, valuable information for me to remember. 🙂

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            Thanks, AV. It was knee jerk reaction to unbelievable behaviour of the narcissist.

            And their level and ability to compartmentalize is unreal. As honest empaths it’s impossible to imagine the degree of deceit that must be required, but no doubt in their mind they are not deceiving us. As per their own lack of awareness according to HG. The whole thing is a totally mindbending some days.

    2. A Victor says:

      Wow LET, your comment made me think of my ex! I used to wonder how he kept everything straight, his lies and bs! He was very compartmentalized. I’d forgotten that.

  7. Empath007 says:

    I can tell I’m at a different point in my healing process because now I hear this and my only thought is “oh that bothers them does it?” Lol.

    Mine was very secretive on social media. He actually preferred that I didn’t like or comment on posts to keep me a secret.

    How would he feel do you think about me unblocking him after all this time and going back and forth ? Would this bother him ?

  8. Asp Emp says:

    A powerfully spoken video from HG Tudor, giving empaths empowerment in how the narcissist can be ‘threatened’ online. It shows how simple it is, how it affects the narcissist in apparently ‘innocent’ ways. This video gives a strong insight in how a narcissist can be ‘thrown off balance’ without the use of HG’s ‘The Empath’s Riposte Grenades’, no spoken words and a few simple actions are needed in these ’10 Online Threats to the Narcissist’s Control’. I must admit how surprised I was with this information. It goes to show that it can be done, Easily.

    That is true empowerment to empaths from HG. He has given another insight to the person he really is, which, in turn, defies the belief that he is a narcissist like any other narcissist. But, HG Tudor isn’t. He is the Ultra.

    (I am still saying Fk.U to BT 😉 ) Which spoils the whole point of my comment… this time…. (b**tards)….

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Do undrestand I am not advocating these as ways “to threaten the narcissist” but rather so you understand “how you have (inadvertently) threatened the narcissist”. It is to aid understanding, not provide you with a means of causing a threat as this would breach no contact with no permissible basis for doing so.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        I understand what you’re saying – “how you have (inadvertently) threatened the narcissist”.

        I have no plans to break the NC regime that I have in place – I have no reason to contact them again.

      2. Empath007 says:

        Yes but it’s helpful to know why we piss them off… and to be perfectly honest… it’s even sort of enjoyable to know why. For myself, I listened to this last night, and it genuinely made me take my narcissist less seriously… which is the first time I’ve felt that way since our break up. I felt like, all of that is so petty… so let him be petty. And in the future should I need to used this information against them… why not have my own fun ? I know it will elicit a reaction… and maybe that’s not a bad thing. Because this time I know, all I have to do is sit back, remain calm, play innocent while his top explodes.

        I’m not advocating for no contact. While I have been wanting to get in contact with my narc. I see it as a waste of time to purposely provoke him. Which is also a major stepping stone for me ! But… I it’s kind of interesting knowing someone could get upset over something so trivial.

        There is a solution to the first problem too… on Facebook you can set the settings so that you review all tags before they are posted to your wall.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          (laughing, loving it) “Yes but it’s helpful to know why we piss them off… and to be perfectly honest… it’s even sort of enjoyable to know why” – thank you for saying so.

          Yeah my FB has been set to “not allowed” for anyone to tag & I don’t post pics of people, only nature…..

  9. Asp Emp says:

    Allllriiighty…. I think a postcard of the image from….

    https://narcsite.com/2020/11/14/provocation-21/

    me to BT is in order and it’s been hell of a long time coming…. (fkg b**tards)….

  10. Tchrgirl says:

    I never recognized myself as a narcissist, until I counted the moments, I was caught in a web of revenge. And I realized going no contact was my Kryptonight, as I was the Narcassist that was entitled to the fuel I received. Even if it was negative attention, instead of love bombs, my heart raced the same.

  11. mollyb5 says:

    HG all those things sound very reasonable to me …am I turning narc ? Lol

    1. Witch says:

      You get upset if your partner receives positive attention online?
      If my partner doesn’t receive positive attention I get upset because who the hell do these people think they are not giving my partner the glory she deserves!?

      1. mollyb5 says:

        Thankfully my partner isn’t on fb. His sister put him on there. But he doesn’t have it downloaded on his phone or computer. I don’t know how couples deal with that. It seems like a relationship nightmare.

        1. Witch says:

          Please expand? What’s the nightmare?

          1. mollyb5 says:

            Ummm why ? What do you want to know ? I only state my own personal opinion.

  12. mollyb5 says:

    HG. I don’t like anybody tagging me in a photo either. Lots of people hate that. Haha. I have a certain theme to my FB. It’s all family. I don’t want crap from a million years ago on it . I can’t stand my old boss on my fb. I m going to get her off of it soon lol

    1. Asp Emp says:

      “I don’t like anybody tagging me in a photo either” – same here. I don’t even appreciate people taking photos of me either and if a friend does, I request them NOT to post on social media….. I prefer photographing nature – not people (always have done).

  13. Asp Emp says:

    10.5 minutes of video – I can’t read it…… thanks. @ChallengeTheUltra.com (sorry HG – but you know me by now – @CallEmOut-aspemp.com )

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