Warning Letter



“Dear Victim.

Well here we are again. Or rather, here I am again. I referred to we because as I mentioned in my first letter to you, I do not really distinguish between you and all the others, so what is about to happen next seems to me as if it has happened with you, numerous times before. What is going to happen is something that I have done so many times before with so many other victims so one thing to keep at the forefront of your mind is that you are not alone in being subjected to what will come next.

It has been amazing so far hasn’t it? I told you I would love you like nobody else ever has and I delivered. Okay, I was actually loving your praise, love, admiration and adoration of me, but to you it felt like I loved you in a way which went beyond anything you had ever experienced before. That certainly kept you happy. You told me every day how happy you were. You told your friends, your family, your colleagues, the man at the hot dog stand, in fact anybody who would listen. I enjoyed watching you do that. It made me feel good. It made me feel powerful.

Here I was able to make you tell the world about our perfect love and goodness me have you loved me perfectly. You told me every day just how much you loved me. You cared for me, looked after me and helped me in so many ways. From letting me use your car when I crashed mine to scratching my back as I lay in bed at night ready to sleep. Of course it was not all one way. I gave you everything I could. I only did it though, to get your fuel. I give to receive. I do not know any other way. You sometimes told me about your love for me being without condition.

I didn’t understand what you meant. No, that is wrong. I understood what you meant but I struggled to imagine doing this. I love you with so many conditions, the chief one being that I only actually love you for the fuel that you give me. Not for who you are. It will take you a long time to understand this and even longer to accept that this is the case. This is why I am writing this letter so that you can keep reading and re-reading it in order to allow it to sink in. After all, nobody else is going to be able to tell you how it really is will they? Anyway, it has been brilliant so far. Ordinarily I would claim that that is all down to me, after all am I not brilliant? It is a fact however that you more than played your part. You gave me absolutely everything.

Your heart, your soul and you poured every essence of your being in to the concept of us. I know you did this because I could see you doing it. I had to because I needed that in order to sustain me. The more you gave, the more brilliant I became, so you gave even more in return. It was an upwards spiral. Two people working in magnificent harmony. You because you believed in us. Me because I needed your fuel. Not that you ever realised this. Why would you? I became the perfect partner, complimenting you, praising you and loving you in that oh so spectacular way. It was intense, it was scintillating and I made sure I became everything that you would want from a relationship. It was a great deal for us both. I made you feel ultra-special.

You gave me the ultra fuel that I need. Does it matter that what I provided to you was based on something else? I would say not, you still got what you wanted didn’t you? I should imagine you would argue that it did matter because you truly believed that I loved you for who you are and that should be the case. I can understand why you would think like that.

You are big on this love thing aren’t you? That is why I picked you of course, that and many other reasons as well, but that played a big part. I wonder though; if nothing altered, if I kept treating you the same way forever as I have done so far, even though it is predicated on a completely different basis to the one you think it is, would that trouble you? You wouldn’t know of course. All you would know is that I continuing to give you the apparent love you crave, in the manner that you have come to expect and in a fashion that makes you feel so special. I don’t suppose you would be particularly upset if that remained the case would you? The thing is though, that isn’t going to happen. Yes, you read that correctly.

What has happened so far, marvellous as it is, is effectively at an end. Oh, you will be allowed some glimpses of the person you thought I was, from time to time, in order to keep you with me, but to all intents and purposes this golden period of unparalleled love has come to an end. You won’t realise this because first of all you just cannot accept that something so wonderful could end in this manner. Second of all you will not realise because of what I am going to do. I am going to confuse you, bewilder you and befuddle you. I am going to make everything hazy, amorphous, nebulous, blurred and indistinct so you are not going to understand what is going on.


Why am I going to do this? Well something has changed. I would usually explain, if I ever felt that an explanation should be given (and I operate from the stance that I owe you no explanations because I am unaccountable) that as usual it is your fault. You have let me down. I do believe that to be the case. I wish it was not. I wish this wonderful period could have continued for the rest of our days together but it cannot. What once invigorated me and made me feel powerful just does not do so in the same way anymore.

Don’t think you are alone in this happening. You are not. All the others let me down as well. It is as if you are not trying any longer. It is as if you have become bored with my brilliance and you see no reason to admire me and adore me in the way that you once did. That wounds me. Your actions or perhaps more accurately, your lack of actions makes me feel less than what I am. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel worthless and this infuriates me. I know that others have said to me in the past that nothing has changed in the way that they feel about me, that they love me just as much as they always have done.

Yet even though they tell me this it does not feel like that anymore to me. The power I felt when you showed me that love and admiration is either no longer there or not as strong. I cannot help it. That is the way that I feel. Since I have not changed in the way that I regard you, I can only reach the conclusion that this alteration in how I feel has been brought about as a consequence of you. Something in the way you act towards me has altered. You perhaps are not giving enough of yourself to me, you are not manifesting the love, the admiration and the adoration in the way that powers me.

It might be that sometimes it feels stale to me, that has happened, perhaps it is because you have become too familiar to me and therefore I do not derive the same reaction that I once did to the way you have behaved. I know that this has been suggested to me but I do not know if it is right. For so long you behaved the same way towards me, loving me in that wonderful way and it did not feel stale or jaded. I think, more likely, it is because you have begun to treat me differently. You are not performing at the level that I require and therefore to me this means you no longer regard me in the same light and this offends me.

I feel criticised by this behaviour of yours and therefore I have to protect myself. You see, I do not like criticism. In fact, I hate it and therefore I need to act promptly to defend myself against this criticism. That is why I have to do what comes next. I had hoped this would not happen. I had hoped that you would be The One so this could be avoided. I had hoped you would not let me down, that I had made the right choices and decisions so that our golden reign could continue forever.

I guess I got it wrong, although it is not something I would ever openly admit, I do not want to be seen as wrong because that suggests weakness and that is the last thing I want you to think I am. So, here I am again, about to protect myself from your implied criticism. Anybody else would say sorry for what is about to happen, but as you will soon find out, I do not do apologies. I am sorry for myself that it has come to this of course. I am full of self-pity when the need arises. So, that is the end of the golden period we had. I must do what I have done so many times before and bring the hurt. I will stop now as I have some other people to attend to, but I will write again. You might want to put your tin hat on and buckle up.

This is where it turns nasty.


Yours in disappointed fury

N. Arc


14 thoughts on “Warning Letter

  1. December Infinity says:

    ‘You are not performing at the level that I require and therefore to me this means you no longer regard me in the same light and this offends me’ so as a result ‘that is the end of the golden period’ and now ‘I must do what I have done so many times before and bring the hurt’. This is what stood out from what was written in the letter. It angered me to read what was written but at least now I have some clarification as to the mindset of the person who would do this. Now I am learning that this person is a narcissist. While I never was the recipient of the extravagantly depicted golden period, the demonstrated behaviour and mistreatment hat I was subjected to was the same.

    1. A Victor says:

      Hi December Infinity, Leelasfuelstinks put a very helpful comment on To Control is to Cope, about the personality disorder being Cluster B, and how it affects everything for people in that cluster. I found it very interesting and thought from your comment here you might as well. Best wishes!

  2. NarcAngel says:

    Dear N. Arc

    Got your letter and was reminded that brevity is not your strong suit. You should look into the 12 step program On and On and On so that your letters wouldn’t require more than one reading due to the recipient drifting off.

    You are right (I know you love to hear that), that it does not matter that what you provided was based on something else. I had it for a time just as I did my baby teeth and my buds before they became breasts – their replacements proving all the more suitable in the end.

    Let’s clear this up then: you ARE weak. That’s why I poured my goodness into you, but you proved faulty in being able to retain it and that makes you worthless of further effort. That it infuriates you and causes you to feel lack of control is further evidence of weakness and a matter for you. Power? You have no power of your own – the evidence being that you must resort to trickery and illusion to suckle it from others.

    You are right, I am not the performer that you are. I am genuine and operate naturally and with an abundance of gifts. I have substance where you have none.

    You are also right (I’m such a giver) in that you were wrong. Monumentally wrong, and again – that brings us back to you being weak. I was going to say that no apology is forthcoming from me because I have nothing to apologize for, but ever the giver, I will make an exception and apologize that you are weak. Too weak to rise up to where I need you to be.

    I will stop there as I have other more important matters to attend to. You might want to put on a nappy and settle down.

    This is where is turns quiet.

    Y. Awn

    1. rising phoenix says:

      Awesome! 😀

    2. Empath007 says:

      Preach !

  3. Duchessbea says:

    When you first meet the Narcissist, he is the most gorgeous thing in every sense. Looks, attentiveness, watching you, he is just everything. But something just feels a bit off. You don’t know what, but you know something is just off. Then you discover, find out what he really is. He lets the mask drop a little bit and you see another side to him that you never saw before. You have no idea he could be like this. Where has the gorgeous guy gone? When you see the other side of him, your attraction for him slowly fades. The more you see the other side, the more you agree with yourself that you were right to go no contact, stay no contact. Then you read about narcissists. It all makes sense. Empaths and Narcissists don’t mix. Get out and stay out. You deserve better. You are worth more. Brilliant article HG.

    1. Empath007 says:


  4. A Victor says:

    That dang summer narc once asked if I’d told my family about him. When I said no he responded with “So, you’re just going around with a little smile on your face….?” I laughed and said sure. At the time I wondered how he would know such a thing. Now I understand, they like it, it gives them power.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      “they like it, it gives them power” AND more fuel and opportunity to control others before the smearing starts………

      1. A Victor says:

        Yes, and a while later when he asked again and the answer was still no, he got pretty upset, asked if I was embarrassed of him, his mask came off for a split second I think. He didn’t tell his family about me either, I wondered about this but didn’t get upset about it, we never had a formal commitment. He did involve himself with my two kids that live at home as much as he could though, they were flattered at first and then became a bit freaked out by it, they saw that red flag long before I did, and several others.

        1. WhoCares says:

          A Victor,

          “Yes, and a while later when he asked again and the answer was still no, he got pretty upset”

          He may have been wounded by the fact of knowing he wasn’t having a powerful enough effect on you to cause you to speak about him to others in your life. And then he got upset and provoked you another way (by asking if you’re embarrassed by him – which would be a pity play I think.)

          1. A Victor says:

            Aha, when you first wrote this, I did not understand it fully, the manipulation, his need to deal with the wound and to get me under control, the provocation and the pity play. Now I do much more so! Baby steps!! It is a lifetime of wrong thinking, and as impatient as I am to have it fixed, it isn’t a process that can be rushed, I’m finding.

  5. mollyb5 says:

    It’s because we become familiar .( already done that , he thinks) and you see others you want to draw in towards you to gain more money , to gain more friendship , to gain more friends to your list of names to drop to perspective clients , you feel you need to slather them in admiration and sexual flirtation to gain their approval. Even when you have someone , someone familiar …someone you trust .
    N can’t resists gaining more , if of course they have something he likes. money, power , influence , a summer home , a good life , a large plot of land , an airplane , even a pond , or a rich grandma , some awesome tools . Even if they want to prove they still have charm to win over a young one , a rich one , a pretty one , always want to prove to the other guys , that YOU have the southern charm even with a wod Of chewing tobacco in your lip. The empath sees and feels you slip away …sees your eyes wonder , sees you smiling behind our back . We feel your emptiness all of a sudden , we feel you have left the building . We sense your mental distraction and we start to question. You think that’s it , just like them all.

  6. Asp Emp says:

    Oh, how nice! Not.

    Again, this is the result of narcissists lacking trust in empaths. Nobody has really let narcissists down. Uneducated emapths ‘react’ to the narcissist’s behaviour without knowing they have the “in-built” instincts to say things that the narcissist instinctively ‘with-draw’ from because of feeling their control being threatened, and unconsciously assuming they are being criticised etc.

    The video on Ultra Channel ‘Narcissist : Translated’ gives some good examples.

    Consciously (& emotionally) empaths are made to feel they are not good enough.

    In truth, only a Greater (and the Ultra) has the conscious to write a letter like this because the other 95% of narcissists are not aware of what they are…..

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