The Hateful Eight of Hearing
When you speak, this is what we actually hear. We hear the words but the effect differs. You say the words in bold but beneath is what we really hear you say to us.
- I Love you
I admire you. I adore you. You are a god. You are a prince among men. Nobody does it better. You are a king, an emperor, a champion. You are everything that I have ever wanted. I would wither and die were it not for you. I want to be with you forever. I want to worship beneath you and give thanks minute by minute that someone so scintillating, so special and so brilliant as you would choose me to be by your side. I will give you sweet, potent and invigorating fuel now and forever. I am bound to you now, do as you will.
- Please leave me alone
Stay and punish me. I am disloyal and a traitor. I have wronged you on so many occasions and I deserve everything that I get. I am weak, pathetic and disgusting and I am amazed at your generosity in remaining with me. I have failed you and I am so unworthy I wish to crawl into a hole and die there but I ought to face you and accept my punishment because my treacherous behaviour deserves nothing less. Continue to berate and denigrate me and reinforce why you are so much better than me.
- Why are you doing this to me?
I am challenging your right to treat me like this because I am suggesting that you are not entitled to do this. I am making it plain that you are not superior to me and you have no basis for behaving like this. I am trying to make you feel small and weak because I am disloyal and I am always looking for ways to stop you getting fuel. I am a traitor, a fifth columnist who is seeking to bring you down and topple this empire that you have created. I am criticising your entitlement. Do you hear that word you hate so much? Criticise. You need to carry on and punish me.
- What would you like for dinner?
I am trying to irritate you by suggesting that I do not already know. I am doing this because I am suggesting that I do not think ahead, plan and second guess to cater for your every need. Do you know why I am suggesting that? Do you know why I am pretending that I do not already know? It is because I want to strip you of your special and superior status. Yes, this is another of my seditious acts which is designed to make you think and feel that you are losing your power over me. It’s working isn’t it? You are feeling weakened and you are wondering what other treacherous acts I will engage in. Why don’t you lose your temper and throw something about? That will show me.
5. I think the blue shirt looks better on you
I am telling you that your choice of the red shirt is a bad one. Do you know why that it is? It is because you know nothing about clothes and fashion. In fact I am going further than that because I am actually telling you that you know nothing at all and I know better than you. Yes, can you believe it? Little old stupid me knows more than this supposed god that stands before me. How does that make you feel now eh? I love doing this. I love to challenge your choices and make you appear stupid next to me, a person who is apparently useless. Does this hurt? I thought so. That is why I do it because I am trying to destroy you with comments like this. I think you should storm out of the room and leave the house for a couple of days so I know who is in charge.
6.There’s something wrong with you
I am on to you. I know what you are. I know there is something rotten in the state of you. You are warped, evil and not the person you make out to be. I am not fooled any longer by your showmanship and I am going to tell everyone about you. I know the truth of what you are. Oh I know, how can I know when I am the one who has the problem. I know that I’m really the crazy one and I do nothing but make your life hell, but I am trying to brush that under the carpet by suggesting that you are the oddball, the maniac, the fruit loop, the kerazy wild-eyed freak. How dare I do so when I am the one that is obviously ill and needs help. I know I do but I like to play this game with you but it’s okay, you should go and tell everyone else what I am doing again and why not arrange for me to see a doctor too to give it a real ring of authenticity?
7. Please don’t leave me
I am weak and pathetic and useless. I should have known better than to fail you. I will do anything, anything at all to make you stay with me. You can treat me even worse now. Do what you will to me, I am nothing compared to you. I should be punished for my transgressions because I am so pathetic compared to your greatness. I am nothing without you. You have given me everything and like a spoilt child I have been so ungrateful but I need you. There I have said it. I need you so, so much because you are fantastic and you do so much for me and I am just a horrible person. You can treat me like dirt because that is what I deserve but why not ensure I get the message by walking out and staying away for several weeks without ever getting in touch. That should show who is boss shouldn’t it?
8. It is over.
Well I have said that but that is not what I meant. I meant I am an idiot and I say things which I do not mean because let’s be honest, there must be something wrong with me if I want to be apart from someone like you, someone so special, kind and wonderful who has only ever tried to do the right thing and someone who has only ever had my best interests at heart. I don’t mean it really. I am just doing it for attention, but I need you to tell me why I should stay and it would be great if you cried a bit too, just to make it look like you are really upset by me telling you it is over. Go on, squeeze a couple out to show me you really are human and can be hurt by my horrible threat. Oh and don’t be concerned, I know you finished it first.
11 thoughts on “The Hateful Eight of Hearing”
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HG, would a malignant narc want to take it to such a degree with harassment as to want you to take your own life? Or is that a psychopath. Thank you HG.
Psychopath or narcissistic psychopath. The narcissist would egg someone on to take their own life, but if they did, that would be a miscalculation of the part of the narcissism.
I LOVE those “Narc-Empath-Translation”-series, H.G. Would love to read more of those “What the narc says, that they really mean” and “What the Empath says and what the narc hears”. Please please more of those! 🙂
The narcissists twist even the simplest phrases that are uttered. No wonder it was always a battle with the narcs from the past. Unbelievable. The phrase, ‘sometimes a cake is just a cake’ would never be applicable to the narcissist, as they would interpret it a something that is a challenge or an insult to their superiority.
Wow I actually found this humorous paranoid and delusional makes a lot of sense though with the way I have been treated by certain people I’m actually really starting to see narcissist as the pathetic things that they are cowards manipulators and bullies I’m definitely on the road to recovery from narcissistic abuse because I see them for what they really are now and yes in the past I agree I was stupid stupid for putting up with it stupid for caring about that person stupid for believing them and stupid For believing in them Stupid for loving them but mostly stupid for putting them before me it’s amazing how clarity brings intelligence into your life
You WERE not “stupid” – just uneduated…..
Very kind but I did see the red flags not always but a lot and I didn’t want to believe it I loved the way he made me feel I felt so alive and he was like a muse I felt amazing being around him like my heart and soul were on fire with passion I wanted to believe that it was real and I ignored the red flags even the black ones and bit by bit he took it from me until I became a shell of the person I was and just felt empty and broken and even then a piece of me was wanting and waiting for the person I fell in love with to come back everything pointed to him being a narcissist and I wanted him anyway and now I just feel stupid for allowing it to go on for so many years one good thing is I don’t want him anymore I don’t really feel much for him at all not even angry so I must be on the side of healing definitely acceptance and my eyes are open a lot has to do with the stuff HG has written I have read quite a few of his books and articles about narcissists also the YouTube videos I think his blatant honesty is exactly what I needed to stop doubting myself and realised it was all a lie and Let go of the illusion I was choosing to believe so I think it’s more that he clarified the truth that I didn’t want to believe that he was an abuser I was born into a family of narcissistic people so I have a lot of experience with the I just put it down them being manipulative and in some cases mental illness I gave every excuse in the book it was easier than accepting the truth however I didn’t have a name for the behaviours and patterns of abuse or the understanding that they have no real ability to love anyone I grateful that I have been given that information because it takes away the hope of change in these relationships and easier to move on
Thank you for sharing & explaining. It would not have been easy for you – your relationships with narcissists. I am glad to know that you are doing well on your education and ‘healing’ yourself from the difficulties that you have endured. You found your way here.
Thanks HG, for posting my comment, bloody hell, probably my longest one yet (yawn) LOL.
Having seen the video (yesterday) on The Ultra Channel ‘Narcissist : Translated’ – the video explains what Lesser and Mid-Range narcissists perceive in conscious and unconscious “language” (the way narcissists think differ from how normals and empaths think).
What people do not understand – simply because of the way the narcissist’s mind is “wired” – is that narcissists ‘think’ in a different language to other people.
Let’s look at it in a lateral way – using different cultures in different countries in the world. The way that people in the UK would think and see things differently from those in, for example, India. India has it’s different religions, foods, environments, animals (they do vary, as certain breeds do better in the UK compared to India and vice versa). And so on. To those in the UK, what India does is ‘foreign’. To those in India, what the UK does is ‘foreign’.
To an empath (and normals), the way a narcissist thinks may appear (or is) ‘foreign’ – only because of lack of knowledge and understanding. Now, empaths and normals can obtain the knowledge, process it, understand it where narcissism is concerned. However, it does not work the other way round – that is the way it is in the world of narcissism. Narcissists are not in a position to see other views of thinking, lateral thinking.
The same applies when, for example, someone with Learning Disabilities (as classed as such in the UK) – they may not even be able to ‘process’ information in the same way as empaths and normals can.
I can understand this. I worked with people who have Learning Disabilities. I have worked with narcissists. I may be an empath (TBC).
What I have said, is the reason why I appear to be different in the way I approach my ‘opinions’, my “contradictions” as some may see it, my Aspergers allows me to be able to do this. My empathy also allows me to do this.
Having said all the above – the Greater and The Ultra have the ability to understand why, how, what their minds work. The Lessers and Mid-Rangers do not necessarily know what they are and therefore will not necessarily understand why empaths and normals do not “think” in the same way as the narcissists themselves.
So, in my opinion, a “little bit of understanding” can go a long way……. my LT kicked in, ET not switched on.
For some reason all I can think of is this: https://pin.it/1DmkYbZ