You Are Being Conned : Music and Lyrics




The manifestation of love has been appropriated by our kind, the narcissists, for a very long time. We are the ones who achieve positions of power, influence and reach to set many agendas in the world and none more so that the concept of love. What you see in films, on television, in books, in supposed guides to securing love, in memes, in “inspirational” quotes, written in cards and through music is heavily contaminated by the perception of love from our perspective. This narrative belongs to us and it is used to shape how non-narcissists are conditioned to believe in love, to our advantage and to your detriment. Here, I take four famous love songs (and the choice of potential examples is huge) long understood to encapsulate wonderful, romantic love and demonstrate to you what is really going on underneath. Once again you are being conned.



God Only Knows by The Beach Boys


I may not always love you

(Threatened Loss, Glimpse of the Future, Told You So – I am organising an excuse because my actions will certainly demonstrate that I do not love you, however I am going to tell you something in the next two lines which (in my world) excuses this and you will overlook it because of the grandiose Flattery that it contains, are you ready?)
But long as there are stars above you

You never need to doubt it

(Since there will  always be stars, even though I do not DEMONSTRATE love, this supposedly romantic comparison means I obviously still love you even though I am actually behaving in a manner which tells you that I am not and you will overlook this, dazzled by the comparison to celestial magnificence.)
I’ll make you so sure about it

(Sounds like I am heavily invested in you doesn’t it? Damn right, I need to make you so sure about it so I can control you and obtain what I need from you.)
God only knows what I’d be without you

(I am so important that only The Supreme Power has sufficient knowledge to understand me if I lost you. How is that for grandiosity?)


If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on, believe me

(I am elevating what we have above life itself, relegating it to something that just goes on in the background. Flattery and Grandiosity)
The world could show nothing to me

(Flattery and Grandiosity)
So what good would living do me

(Grand Pity Play and Threatened Loss)

God only knows what I’d be without you

(I am so important that only The Supreme Power has sufficient knowledge to understand me if I lost you. How is that for grandiosity?)

God only knows what I’d be without you

(I am so important that only The Supreme Power has sufficient knowledge to understand me if I lost you. How is that for grandiosity? Are you understanding just how important I am yet although it is designed to make you feel important for the purposes of getting you under my control.

If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on, believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me

(I am repeating myself because I don’t think I need to say anything more, what I am telling you is of such grand importance I am just going to ram the message home. Are you ready for some serious ramming home?)

God only knows what I’d be without you

God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you (God only knows)
God only knows what I’d be without you (what…

(Message received? Good, it ought to be after that repetition. You belong to me.)



Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers

Oh, my love, my darling

(Objectification and Ownership you are mine)
I’ve hungered for your touch

(Your touch is fuel and signifies control and I need that signal that you are under my control.)
A long, lonely time

(Pity Play)
Time goes by so slowly

(Pity Play)
And time can do so much

(Grandiose statement)
Are you still mine?

(Ownership – note, what can I do for you, but do I still have control over you?)
I need your love

(My needs before yours, I feel I do not have control therefore I am doling out a Pity Play because I actually need your fuel and to control you.)
I need your love

(I will repeat it because then it MUST be true.)
God speed your love to me

(I will invoke The Supreme Power because after all I am very important and he should do my bidding. (The Big Guy Upstairs has his work cut out attending to the demands of our kind as you might now be gathering.))

Lonely rivers flow

(Pity Play)
To the sea, to the sea
To the open arms of the sea

(You should be there for me – Sense of Entitlement)
Lonely rivers sigh

(Pity Play)
“Wait for me, wait for me”

(You should do what I want – Sense of Entitlement)
I’ll be coming home, wait for me

(Sense of Entitlement – query why am I not at home already? Have I cleared off somewhere else or have you escaped me? Wonder why? I think I had better do some ramming, cannot let The Beach Boys use up all the ramming home.)


Oh, my love, my darling
I’ve hungered, for your touch
A long, lonely time
Time goes by so slowly
And time can do so much
Are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
God speed your love to me

(There, that should drive the message home. You had better come back to me now.)




Something by The Beatles


Something in the way she moves

(Vague Flattery – this sounds romantic and mysterious but I actually have no idea what it is and I am unable to discern it.)
Attracts me like no other lover

(Nobody can be as attracted to you as I am because I am the best, remember that.)
Something in the way she woos me

(It is the other way around, but we will not let that get in the way of making out that I am the victim here.)

I don’t want to leave her now

(I am helpless in the face of your magnetism, after all, remember, I am the victim.)
You know I believe and how

(More vagueness but I am unable to define this so I will just keep it vague, that sounds more romantic and of course gives me more scope for plausible deniability.)

Somewhere in her smile she knows

(Magical Thinking. You do not have a clue really.)
That I don’t need no other lover

(I will make her think that and I think that. For now.)
Something in her style that shows me

(More vagueness – I am getting good at this and it is working very well.)

Don’t want to leave her now

(See, you have ensnared me.)
You know I believe and how

You’re asking me will my love grow

(You are a little uncertain but you are trying to pin some accountability on me here and that will never do.)
I don’t know, I don’t know

(Keep you on your toes with Uncertainty so you have to do something about it.)
You stick around, now it may show

(You do as you are told and MAYBE you will see some love. So, this is me telling you that you need to demonstrate to me that you are under my control and you might get something in return.)
I don’t know, I don’t know

Something in the way she knows

(Vague Flattery)
And all I have to do is think of her

(Hoover Trigger)
Something in the things she shows me

(Vague Flattery)

I don’t want to leave her now

(I am captivated, you have made it so I do not want to leave, so you should feel special now after I have told you this.)
You know I believe and how

(You haven’t a clue.)



Love Hurts by Everly Brothers, Gram Parsons, Nazareth, Cher and Others


Love hurts

(Being wounded by a loss of control hurts me. My version of love will actually hurt you.  Love based on emotional empathy does not hurt, but I don’t know anything about that, so you have to hear it from my perspective.)
Love scars

(See above. Pity Play.)
Love wounds and marks

(See above. Pity Play.)
Any heart not tough or strong enough

(You need to be able to take what I am going to dole out in order to prove that you love me.)
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain

(Pain is not involved when love is based on emotional empathy, but I do not understand that.)

Love is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain

(No it’s not, but I think it is and you will come to pour with rain because of the way I treat you, but don’t question that because love is meant to hurt, okay?)
Love hurts

(See above)
Ooh love hurts

(Have you got it yet? This love thing is so painful. For me, but hell, I am such a brilliant person I will push through it for you and it will hurt for you but do understand that is how love is, so you have to put up with it, because if you do not, then you do not love me and that makes you a bad person.)


I’m young
I know
But even so
I know a thing or two, I learned from you

(Excuse, False Humility, Flattery)
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot

(I mimicked you because unlike me, you actually do know something about love although the rest of what you know comes from nonsense like this.)

Love is like a flame, it burns you when it’s hot

(Melodrama, Pity Play.)
Love hurts

(Here I go again, my turn to do some ramming.)
Ooh love hurts

(Ram, ram, ram.)

Some fools think
Of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness

(I have heard that this is apparently what love actually is, but that is plain nonsense because I know better and I know everything even though I pretend to be all humble by only knowing a thing or two.)

Some fools fool themselves, I guess

(Contempt, Superiority)
They’re not foolin’ me

(I know it all.)

I know it isn’t true I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie made to make you blue

(Pity Play for me, Justification to you)

(And now for some repetitive ram just so you grasp that I am in agony so you need to feel sorry for me and that your own agony is just part of being in love, so suck it up buttercup.)
Love hurts
Ooh love hurts
Ooh love hurts

I know it isn’t true
I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie made to make you blue
Love hurts
Ooh love hurts
Ooh, love hurts, ooh






97 thoughts on “You Are Being Conned : Music and Lyrics

  1. ILYB says:

    Thank you HG for providing us with a translation of love songs through the filter of Narcissism. I have to say it has just ruined many songs for me yet as helped me to exorcise my ex narc out of all the love songs he sent me during the Golden Period. I took the liberty of pastiching your style of analysis into one of the songs he sent me – hope you won’t mind.

    YOU TO ME ARE EVERYTHING (Objectification, sense of entitlement)
    By The Real Thing (Greater Narcissists?)

    I would take the stars out of the sky for you (Magical thinking and Grandiosity)
    Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to (Magical thinking and Grandiosity again because aren’t I so magnificent I can even control the weather?)
    I’d do anything for you, your wish is my command (Projection)
    I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand (Magical thinking, appealing to your Love Devotee thinking)
    Words cannot express how much you mean to me (Fuel and you haven’t figured out what I am)
    There must be some other way to make you see (Assertion of Control)
    If it takes my heart and soul, you know I’d pay the price
    Everything that I possess I’d gladly sacrifice (Projection and future Smear Campaign, we are the Victim here)

    Oh, you to me are everything
    The sweetest song that I could sing
    Oh, baby, oh, baby (You are my IPPS/candidate IPSS/shiny newest appliance and I revel in your delicious fuel)

    To you I guess I’m just a clown (Bit of Pity Play to appeal to your empathic trait of Compassion)
    Who picks you up each time you’re down
    Oh, baby, oh, baby (Projection: my needs before yours)

    You give me just a taste of love
    To build my hopes upon (Could you be The One?)
    You know you’ve got the power girl
    To keep me holding on (We need more of your delicious fuel, I really am the Victim)

    So now you’ve got the best of me
    Come on and take the rest of me
    Oh baby (Projection: it is the other way around, but we will not let that get in the way of making out that I am the victim here, remember)

    Though you’re close to me, we seem so far apart (As we know Intimacy is a weakness, we have no emotions, Binding you to us)
    Maybe given time you’ll have a change of heart (Prepare for Assertion of Control through Love Bombing/Ever Presence/Devaluation/Gaslighting/Silent Treatment/Hoovering/Trauma Bonding.. you name it girl)
    If it takes forever, girl then I’m prepared to wait (I couldn’t be clearer)
    The day you give your love to me, won’t be a day too late (See above)

    Oh, you to me are everything
    The sweetest song that I could sing
    Oh, baby, oh, baby (You are my IPPS/candidate IPSS/shiny newest appliance and I reveal in your delicious fuel – I should ram this a bit more, don’t want you stopping your fuel provision)

    To you I guess I’m just a clown
    Who picks you up each time you’re down
    Oh, baby, oh, baby (More Pity Play ramming in case the Love Bombing Chorus has not quite worked – but we know it has)

    You give me just a taste of love
    To build my hopes upon (Don’t you disappoint us)
    You know you’ve got the power girl
    To keep me holding on (We need more of your wonderful shiny new succulent fuel you provide – just ramming that in again)

    So now you’ve got the best of me
    Come on and take the rest of me
    Oh, baby (Ram, ram, ram it in)

    Oh, you to me are everything
    The sweetest song that I could sing
    Oh, baby, oh, baby
    You to me are everything
    The sweetest song that I could sing
    Oh, baby, oh, baby
    You to me are everything
    The sweetest song that I could sing
    Oh, baby, oh, baby
    You to me are everything
    The sweetest song that I could sing
    Oh, baby, oh, baby
    You to me are everything
    The sweetest song that I could sing
    Oh, baby, oh, baby
    (Message received? Good, it ought to be after that repetition. You belong to me now)

  2. Truthseeker6157 says:

    Ok, go on then, can’t resist.

    Empath song to narc.

    1. karmicoverload says:

      “You Should Be Sad” by Halsey
      Also “Wrecking Ball” by Miley Cyrus, although I hear she’s a Narcissist too?

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:

        Hey Karmic,

        Love Halsey. Ironically, ‘Control’ is still my favourite of hers, I’m quite dark in my music tastes, unless it’s for my work out playlist, then it’s full on dance tracks!

        Mmm Miley too showy for me, though credit where credit is due, the girl can sing. I’d call narc on Miley, never really thought about Halsey.

        1. karmicoverload says:

          I definitely think Halsey is an empath. Haven’t heard any of her other songs, I will listen to Control.

        2. lickemtomorrow says:

          I think Halsey has come out to say she is Bi-polar or BPD. If she’s BPD then to my mind narcissism is also a possibility.

          Miley is on my list for HG, and I’m pretty sure I’ll get a confirmation on that one.

          Not sure if I’ve heard “Control” so I’ll give it a listen now.

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Lickemtomorrow Karmic, Control is dark, might not be everyone’s cup of tea!

            I can understand your choice of song as a parting shot LET. I had one lined up, but never sent it. At the time, I viewed it as a point of no return. A final door slam, and I wasn’t ready to do that. It is however another very apt empath departure song.


            I posted it not long after I arrived on the blog funnily enough.

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            Ah,TS, I’m afraid “Control” wasn’t my cup of tea, but it’s probably more to do with the musical style of that one. I generally have no objection to words 🙂 I do sense the darkness around that one and there’s probably a side to all of us that likes to entertain the darkness from time to time. It’s an acknowledgement of part of our reality. Or at least that’s how I interpret it!

            I’d love to know what song you would have shared with your narc-ex, but only if you are happy to share. I can understand not being ready to put the final nail in the coffin. It took me a long time, and a growing awareness, to finally put that nail in the coffin of my relationship. And I think you know when you are ready to do that. The song, in that sense, was neither here nor there except part of a provocation at the time after the ending of the relationship. In particular the lines “ran so fucking far that you will never ever touch me again …” We had been intimate prior to the final showdown. I wanted him to know he would never enjoy that kind of intimacy with me again.

            My God, we had hoover songs, break up songs, make up songs, let’s get it on songs 😛 It’s a bitch when it comes to “everpresence”. I hope he feels the same!

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I would have sent Meg Myers Adelaide. Link in previous comment. Xx

          4. lickemtomorrow says:

            Xox, TS.

            I’ve just watched the lyric version and could relate <3 I do think I remember you sharing it before … back in the early days, seems so long ago now. And thankfully we have come a long way since then. I'm guessing you still don't regret not sharing the song with him.

            And I'm glad you found a song to fit. I hope it helps as a reminder x

          5. Truthseeker6157 says:


            No, I don’t regret not sending it.

            We have come a long way I guess. I certainly am all out of questions. I should be. I have pretty much exhausted the Knowledge Vault!

            I do feel like I have got as far as I can get with it. I think people view that as me being negative. A fault. I’m supposed to feel nothing by now. Not so. I’m supposed then to be more positive and assume that at some point that will be the case. I don’t believe that either. My grace period of lack of understanding and soaring ET has meanwhile long since elapsed.

            I think I need my corner for a bit. Taking a break from commenting, kind of feels hypocritical. I’ll keep up with the videos on YouTube, would hate to miss out ha ha!

            Hugs xx

          6. lickemtomorrow says:

            TS, I have gained so much insight from your comments and questions. Much of that has helped me a great deal <3 A great big thank you for that xox

            I understand the feeling of plateauing and the sense you have taken everything you possibly can on board in terms of how it can help you. We also have expectations around what we hope to get out of things.

            It will be different for all of us, but I currently don't have an expectation that I won't or shouldn't feel anything for my narc-ex. The aim ultimately might be indifference for those who can achieve it, but I'm not there yet. I am further along than feeling completely bereft which I did at the beginning. There's some nice middle ground where I am now which allows for me to be OK with letting go, gives me some room to express my angst, and holds out a lot of promise for a better, brighter narc free future. I'm aiming for the high ground eventually. Not sure if that means indifference for me, but I'd say it will be a sense of being free. He certainly doesn't have the hold on me he once had.

            Does that make me feel positive? Not necessarily. In some ways it makes me feel shitty about the whole world and how I ended up where I am. I'm not positive about narcissism, how it has ensnared me, what that has led to and how it made me feel. It sucks. End of story. So how it has affected me personally is one giant sh*t show as far as I'm concerned. What is positive is that I now know what I am dealing with. That's the good news. I can deal with it. I have never been able to do that before.

            I hear you on deciding to take your corner for a bit, TS. We all need a time out sometimes for our own sake, but you are far from hypocritical in expressing your thoughts. It's not a one size fits all scenario when it comes to the narcissist. And I think the experience of moving on from them is different for everyone, sometimes coming in fits and starts.

            I'm glad HG is sharing some of the videos here as sometimes I forget to wander over to check all the good material (and some of it exclusive) on YouTube. Not enough hours in the day! Good to know you don't have any plans on missing out, TS. And I would very much miss your voice if you stopped inputting here as well. I hope that doesn't happen. For now enjoy your bit of well earned solace xoxox

      2. lickemtomorrow says:

        This was the song I left my narc with when it all came to a crashing, burning end.

        “You’re not half the man you think that you are
        and you can’t fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars

        I’m so glad I never ever had a baby with you
        “Cos you can’t love nothing unless there’s something in it for you

        Oh, I feel so sorry
        I feel so sad
        I tried to help you
        It just made you mad

        And I had no warning
        About who you are
        I’m just glad I made it out
        Without breaking down

        And then ran so fucking far
        That you will never ever touch me again

        Won’t see your alligator tears
        Because I’ve had enough of them …”

        It was the perfect song for that SOB mid ranger and fit him perfectly.

        He told me he was “sad” things were coming to an end (again!)
        I especially love the line where Halsey says “You should be sad”
        Be very sad motherfucker that I’m not in your life anymore.

  3. K says:

    Working My Way Back to You Girl is a Seduction Hoover of a Former Intimate Partner (FIP) filled with false contrition, pity plays and assertions of control.

    “Yeah, I’m working my way back to you, babe (hoover)
    And the happiness that died” (indicates (unconscious) disengagement trigger/3. You’re Broken)

    “Thought I could have my cake and eat it, too”

    HG Tudor says:
    November 9, 2020 at 19:24
    Naturally because it is me, one can have one´s cake and eat it.

    “I’m really sorry, ooh, little girl” (paternalistic)

    “Oh, I used to love to make you cry
    It made me feel like a man inside” (it made him feel fueled. See: Why The Narcissist Likes You To Cry – The Ultra)

    “But when I think about all I could win” (Games Are Always Being Played/The narcissist is always winning)

    1. K says:

      P.S. “Thought I could have my cake and eat it, too” (entitlement)

      1. K says:

        Missed this one!

        Babe (Pet) = Objectification.

  4. Violetta says:

    For those who have been puzzled (as I have frequently been), by the difference between wounding and challenge fuel, I have the following anecdote, from an article titled, “29 Absolutely Ridiculous Stories of Axl Rose’s Hard Partying Days With Guns N’ Roses.”

    The tension between the bands [Guns-n-Roses and Nirvana] exploded at the 1992 MTV Video Music Awards. When Courtney Love, Cobain’s wife, saw Axl back stage, she sarcastically asked him to be the godfather of their child. Pissed, Axl said to Cobain, “You shut your b*tch up, or I’m taking you down to the pavement.” Cobain turned to Love and sarcastically said “Shut up, b*tch!”, which got everyone laughing at Rose. Axl stormed off.

    I believe this was wounding.

  5. Violetta says:

    For DM fans (the band, not the newsrag):

  6. Fiddleress says:

    @ BC30, re nightmarish French bogs: it was very much the state of affairs until not so long ago for public toilets. We seem to have moved towards (modern Western) civilisation now, i.e. towards managing to erase all traces of the uncomfortable reality of what it means to be human (smells of bodily fluids, for instance), on the whole.
    Still, many American writers and artists, among other nationalities, came flocking to France – especially Paris – after World War I, and decided to call it home.

    When I was in high school in the mid 1980’s, I would sneak into the teachers’ toilets whenever I could, even if it was forbidden. The pupils’ toilets were just cubicles out in the courtyard with those ‘hole in the floor’ toilets. They were neither dirty nor smelly – after all, this was a school and they were cleaned every day – but it was too frigging cold in the autumn and winter to go there. It wasn’t like that in all high schools; mine was situated in a beautiful old building that had been a convent school before. There were still wrought-iron bars over the windows (to stop suicides, or escape??), and it did feel like a prison to our silly young minds, but anything was better than home, for me. I still have fond memories of my time in that high school.

  7. karmicoverload says:

    One of the most Narcissistic songs I can think of is “Don’t Think Twice (It’s Alright)” by Bob Dylan.

  8. Bibi says:

    HG and anyone interested. Sam Cooke (love him!) has a cover of Unchained Melody that is lovely and understated. I actually prefer his version to the R. Bros. (albeit I recognize the great singing in the original).

    1. BC30 says:

      Sam Cooke is HIGHLY underrated!

  9. Asp Emp says:

  10. Francine says:

    Love it Love it Love it… Shrink that song…. A song I like to call bullshit on is that “Fooled around and Fell in Love” made popular again by Miranda Lambert and friends. The narcissist says
    I must have been through about a million girls I love them and I leave them alone I don’t care how much they cry no sir their tears left me cold as a stone but,… Then I fooled around and fell in love fooled around and fell in love.
    It used to be when I saw a girl that I liked I’d get out my book and I’d write down her name. But when the grass got greener on the other side I just tear out that page. then I fooled around and fell in love I fooled around and fell in love.
    I got to tell you ooh baby I need you Don’t make me wait Oh baby I need you. (Fuel)
    Free on my own that’s the way I used to be oh but since I met you baby loves got a hold on me cuz I fooled around and fell in love blah blah blah.
    Now the songs HG interpreted were actually brilliant because of the meaning was quite cloaked and hidden but in this song it’s right in your face.
    I once said to a woman I can just see you now driving down the street with your hands on the steering wheel singing your heart out actually believing that you’re the one of all the women you are the one that he fell in love with are you kidding me. You’re the one who tamed the bad boy.
    I think the writer of this song actually believed his own bullshit but he was just in the infatuation Of the golden period. It’s all there entitlement, lack of empathy, lack of accountability, striving for fuel, and lying.
    Yes the narcissist really do rule the the arts. However I’m going to continue to enjoy both versions of this song I really like it. I’m just thankful I don’t believe the bullshit.

  11. A Victor says:

    These lyrics, listened to by young people way back when, have led to so much heartache and confusion about real love, what it looks like and how it feels. I feel so duped by the cultural giants who have come and gone over the years. Thank you for showing this as it is HG. I really hope your work gets out more, knowledge will hopefully offset say least some of these far reaching effects.

  12. Sweetest Perfection says:

    Though things like this
    Make me sick
    In a case like this
    I’ll get away with it
    And in a place like this
    I’ll get away with it.

    Nice wedding vows, right?
    My fiancé knew I was joking, I never wanted to get married in the first place.

    If you analyze the song linguistically, the main agent is “she.” He doesn’t do shit for her. He’s the recipient of all her attention.

    1. Bibi says:

      Embarrassed to admit I overlooked that. Ah, shit! I’ve been conned!!!!

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Bibi, being an empath that’s completely normal. I will confess to you that I used to think “A Question of Lust” was super romantic just based on the music, haha how naïve!

        1. Bibi says:

          I just relistened to Question of Lust. The reason we are easily conned is that Martin sings very passionately and with a lot of emotion. So when I hear it, I feel the feeling in his voice first. He is a very good singer for that reason.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:


    2. BC30 says:

      Your Avi!! So festive and expressive! I love the tiny Santa hats OhEmGee!

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        It’s a political statement, BC30!

        1. A Victor says:

          Lol, that’s hilarious!!!

  13. Empath007 says:

    I start my workouts with this song every time lately… and every time I listen to it, I think of HGs “Jealous of your contentment” article. Knowing I’ve lost weight lately and look my best, way better then I ever did with him, and his friends are hopefully passing along the message when they see me 🙂

    1. BC30 says:

      Me too, I just got rid of a lot of clothes. I hadn’t noticed how miserable I was with that extra weight. I’m BACK and looking cuter than ever.

  14. Querencia78 says:

    I like the Beatles song: “something in the way she moves” and many of the Beatles actually… probably because I was named after a Beatles song.

    I can hear narcspeak in many many songs throughout history.

    Narcissism and love kind of go hand in glove.

    That’s why I listen to a lot of classical stuff.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That is a narcissist song.

      1. Querencia78 says:

        Do you mean “the way she moves” or the one I’m named after is a narcissist song?

  15. JB says:

    “..Query why am I not at home already? Have I cleared off somewhere else?” Ha, ha, love this!

  16. Empath007 says:

    “Nobody can be attracted to you as I am. Because I am the best…”

    Well. If that sentence doesn’t sum up my narc then I don’t know what does 😂

    I even remember telling him once that he speaks
    Of me as a rare object,
    That no other man could possibly appreciate lol.

    I hear all songs, and watch all television so different now. It’s amazing the world you’ve opened to me H.G.

  17. Violetta says:

    Theme song for Matrinarcs everywhere (narcy sentiments emphasized):

    Don’t Cry Out Loud

    Baby cried the day the circus came to town
    ’cause she didn’t want parades just passin’ by her
    So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown
    While she danced without a net upon the wire
    I know a lot about ‘er ’cause, you see
    Baby is an awful lot like me

    Don’t cry out loud
    Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings

    Fly high and proud
    And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all

    Baby saw that when they pulled that big top down
    They left behind her dreams among the litter
    The different kind of love she thought she’d found
    There was nothin’ left but sawdust and some glitter
    But baby can’t be broken ’cause you see
    She had the finest teacher-that was me-I told ‘er

    Don’t cry out loud
    Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
    Fly high and proud
    And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all
    Don’t cry out loud
    Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
    Fly high and proud
    And if you should fall, remember you almost made it
    Don’t cry out loud
    Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
    Fly high and proud
    And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all

    1. BC30 says:

      Schitt’s Creek!

      TV show.

  18. Bibi says:

    Interesting dissection! Of course, love songs are filled with manipulations. Def Leppard’s ‘Love Bites’ –a lot of shit about whining and moaning over that lost love. (I enjoy the song for what it is.)

    DM is more forthright: ‘I give in…to sin.’ LOL ‘Somebody’ is an empath’s song though.

    I don’t think The Doors had many love songs–if at all, as they were so cerebral. Which is fine. I don’t listen to them when I feel mushy.

    Gordon singing when he was hot. Perhaps a narc pity play:

    That’s what you get for lovin’ me
    That’s what you get for lovin’ me
    Every thing you had is gone
    As you can see
    That’s what you get for lovin’ me
    I ain’t the kind to hang around
    With any new love that I found
    ‘Cause movin’ is my stock in trade
    I’m movin’ on
    I won’t think of you when I’m gone
    So don’t you shed a tear for me
    ‘Cause I ain’t the love you thought I’d be
    I’ve got a hundred more like you

    Then there is a song with a bad message: ‘Love Me Like You Do’

    Yeah, I’ll let you set the pace
    ‘Cause I’m not thinking straight
    My head’s spinning around, I can’t see clear no more
    Oh, what are you waiting for?
    Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do
    Love me like you do, lo-lo-love me like you do
    Touch me like you do, to-to-touch me like you do, oh

    It’s basically how I felt when seduced briefly by a Somatic. ‘I’ll let you lead the way b/c I am not thinking straight.’

    Oh dear! Not good.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Somebody isn’t an empaths song Bibi.

      Jim Morrison was a narcissist.

      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        And one for you Witchy, Jim Morrison is another example of dead eyes!

        1. Witch says:

          Did you see my comment about Jonathan Rhys Meyers?
          The eyes … the everything

          1. Ooh no I didn’t? What do you say?

          2. Witch says:

            I said I now understand what you mean about the eyes because this guy looks possessed…
            he was good looking when he was younger but now he looks like Satan. And I’m sure he’s a narc

      2. Asp Emp says:

        Wow, about Jim Morrison. He died young. Is that possibly because he was unaware of what he was and ‘struggled’ and relied on ‘coping mechanisms’ ?

        1. Bibi says:

          I read a bio on The Doors not long after I went NC from the MMR.

          A few things about Jim–the way he treated his family was horrible. Yes, they clearly did not value his talent but there is a scene where he future fakes them and plans to meet up with them and then never shows. He was just very cold.

          He loved to fuck every chick he could but if Pam wanted to fool around he would go ape shit. He cared about her as his possession but he could go off and do as he pleased but she had to wait around for him.

          She befriended gay guys b/c they were no threat to Jim and they gave her the emotional comfort she craved.

          After he died, she pretty much became a heroin addict and a hooker and died herself. She let herself become an extension of him.

          I think he is hilarious to watch in interviews b/c he is so doped up. Ray was an empath.
          He was always faithful to Jim and upheld his friend’s talent. He wasn’t resentful of Jim’s spotlight.

          I think Jim is possibly the greatest song writer that ever lived. Certainly there is no one else like him.

          HG, you used the word ‘jettison’ in one of your recordings. Reminded me of ‘Horse Latitudes’

          When the still sea conspires an armor
          And her sullen and aborted currents
          Breed tiny monsters
          True sailing is dead!

          Awkward instant
          And the first animal is jettisoned
          Legs furiously pumping
          Their stiff green gallop
          And heads bob up
          In mute nostril agony
          Carefully refined
          And sealed over

          1. HG Tudor says:

            I find I have a peculiar irritation caused by Morrison. I find his face irksome.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            I’m with you on that one.

          3. Bibi says:

            Really, HG? Is that so??? I find him very attractive. I like his hard jawline. Do you find Val as Jim in the film equally irksome?

            Jim is pretty in a harsh way. His features are not smooth. Val is smoother and probably prettier objectively.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Nothing to do with him being aesthetically pleasing and more to do with his picture just irritates me.

          5. Asp Emp says:

            We all rights to have our own opinions 🙂

          6. Asp Emp says:

            All I knew was that he died young & a narcissist. Thank you for a short bio on him, I was not a fan.

          7. Bibi says:

            Asp Emp:

            Not a fan? You cray cray. LOL

            When I was 16 I was sent to Paris like a package in the mail, wherein I requested, amid my Fever 103, to visit Jim’s grave. I did. There were tons of people. Does ithe stone ever rest?

            The most disgusting part of that visit was the bathroom, which was a hole in the floor and you were supposed to squat and pull the lever afterwards. Like my hatred for humanity, I held it in.

            It was an experience. Also, none of the showers had shower curtains.

          8. Asp Emp says:

            Me no cray cray if me no fan of Jimbo.

            Yeah, been to France and am aware of them “toilets”. I’d never been in showers lacking curtains in France though.

          9. Sweetest Perfection says:

            People are strange when you’re a stranger
            Faces look ugly when you’re alone
            Women seem wicked when you’re unwanted
            Streets are uneven when you’re down

            One of my favorite songs by The Doors which describes so well how I feel every time I start living in a different city or visit another country. It was also in the soundtrack of another favorite 80’s movie, The Lost Boys.

          10. Bibi says:

            Oh I forgot to mention. A number of yrs ago I joined a ‘Jim Fan Page’ on FB just, you know, with the intention of maybe getting the nice eye candy pic once a day.

            Holy fuck. I got like a pic of him every 10 mins or less. My entire feed was Jim.

            Needless to say, that was a bit much and I unliked the page. I mean, I still want to see cats and nature memes and Rumi quotes every so often–and not to mention HG!

            (You weren’t around then. You existed but just not in the form we now know you.)

            Tee hee. I would like a feed of your legs.(Cannibalism! Nay!) Martin had nice legs too but likely as a dude, you have never looked.

            yuk yuk.

          11. Bibi says:

            Me no cray cray if me no fan of Jimbo.


            Yes the ‘toilets’ were disgusting. They were holes in the floors. Is this what people did in the 1890s? I was so close to Monet then. O Claude!

            What if you have a tampon to pull out? The bathrooms smelled like piss, shit and menstruation. This is the underbelly of Paris.

            And every so often I would pass a street and get a whiff of urine. I don’t get it.

            Hey but Jimbo has some good songs. His lyrics are actually more poetic than his ‘poetry’ which is garbage. O Lizard King! I beseech thee!

            Some are better left in memory and he is one.

          12. Asp Emp says:

            If you have any questions about the toilets (the lack of etc) – may I suggest that you contact the French Government’s Environmental Health Department and ask them directly? 😉

          13. Fiddleress says:

            Bibi; “The most disgusting part of that visit was the bathroom, which was a hole in the floor and you were supposed to squat and pull the lever afterwards. Like my hatred for humanity, I held it in.
            It was an experience. Also, none of the showers had shower curtains.”
            That was unlucky; I’ve been in France for over 45 years (counting out the 4 years I spent in the UK) and I have never seen a shower without curtains.
            As for the ‘hole in the floor’ toilets’: they are called “Turkish toilets”. A bit of blame-shifting there, no doubt. But they are only to be found outside homes, thank goodness.

          14. Fiddleress says:

            Bibi, I do hope that you enjoyed walking through one of the most beautiful and history-laden cemeteries in the world: le cimetière du Père-Lachaise, when you visited Jim’s tomb, so that your trip to Paris was not all a bad experience.

          15. Fiddleress says:

            Bibi, “Didn’t intend to blame-shift”: I think you have misunderstood what I meant, or my sentence was not clear; I meant that the French calling the ‘hole in the ground’ bogs “Turkish toilets” sounded like blame-shifting. I was actually mocking the French name for those toilets, blaming Turkey for this (supposed) legacy!

          16. A Victor says:

            SP, this song was one of the few Doors songs I could enjoy. I had a brief relationship with a man who was the biggest Doors fan ever, in the mid 80’s, and when then, try as I might, I still couldn’t get into them. Loved The Lost Boys movie though, it put Kiefer Sutherland on my radar. Sadly, I don’t feel he’s aged well though.

          17. Sweetest Perfection says:

            None of them have aged well, AV. I almost had a seizure one day I was curious about the whereabouts of Adam Ant, who I considered one of the most beautiful men on the planet when I was little. Speaking of Jim Morrison and The Doors (what a terrible movie), I feel bad for Val Kilmer.

          18. NarcAngel says:

            Why is Gene Wilder your avatar? Those aren’t Christmas balls that inspire joy.

          19. Sweetest Perfection says:

            NA, hahahahaha! Get your glasses!! It’s James Spader as Daniel Jackson, the sexy-shy Linguist in Stargate!!! My platonic love!

          20. A Victor says:

            SP, I never watched the movie, Val Kilmer is another who was super hot at first, imo, but wow, now?!? What happens to these people? Lifestyle choice plays a big part I’m guessing.

          21. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Well Val Kilmer was seriously ill for years.

          22. A Victor says:

            Lifestyle choices, should have been plural.

          23. A Victor says:

            Sweet Pea!!! You are looking fantastic!! I had to go all the way out and back in to see who your thumbnail was! Great photo, so cute!

            You weren’t kidding about Adam Ant, had to look him up, wow, looks a lot like Johnny Depp does now, neither having aged well. I am happy to say that, imho, James (Spader) has only improved. 🙂

          24. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I’m glad you notice, AV. I don’t know if I like him right now, I like men with hair. But he was yummy in Stargate. For some reason everything always revolves around James Spader sooner or later haha.

          25. A Victor says:

            Oh no, SP, so sorry I messed your name up! That is what I used to call my oldest daughter and I was so excited by your photo tile it came out wrong! It was a term of endearment for her, if that helps.

          26. A Victor says:

            SP, yes, either James, or Pierce. 🙂

          27. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Or Craig.

          28. A Victor says:

            SP, I didn’t know Val Kilmer had been ill. He just disappeared and came back different. I’m sad to hear that. Thank you for letting me know.

        2. Fiddleress says:

          Asp Emp: “If you have any questions about the toilets (the lack of etc) – may I suggest that you contact the French Government’s Environmental Health Department and ask them directly? 😉”
          Good advice, Asp Emp. Although I must say France seems to have realised that something needed to be done and has suddenly taken a giant leap into the 21st century: most public toilets now have seats (though I never sit on ANY toilet seat, ANYWHERE in the world), and even have … wait for it … toilet rolls in them!

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Hello Fiddleress. Thank you for your response – yes, I am aware of the updating of toilets in France. Yes, I am with you on that one RE sitting on any public toilet seats – totally. Toilet paper – laughing.

          2. Bibi says:

            Fidder: Didn’t intend to blame-shift, as I share what I saw. Cemetery was nice. I think I have been there twice. I was very young, however. The showers had no curtains. Anyone on my trip could verify. Much flooding occurred as result.

            Maybe it was just a shit hotel. This was 1992 but what the fuck do I know.

          3. BC30 says:

            Wow. I had no idea this was the state of affairs.

          4. lickemtomorrow says:

            The first time I came across these toilets was in an Asian airport while changing flights. I remember when I got the chance to use the loo I took one look and backed out again! There was another woman who saw me do that and the next loo that became free was a regular one, probably for the uninitiated just like me, so she let me go ahead of her to use that toilet. I had no idea how to squat and pee in a hole in the ground in a civilized setting (as opposed to a natural setting). It was daunting.

      3. Bibi says:

        HG, why isn’t Somebody an empath’s song? I used to cry listening to that when I was 14.

        Yes, Jim was a narcissist. You wrote about one of the types of Narcissists who keep returning to the same empath over and over and that is what he was. His gf Pam was so codependent. A very sad relationship. I would NOT want to be in love with that guy.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Listen to the lyrics.

          1. Bibi says:


          2. Bibi says:

            I see it now. Wow, this is an example where music and voice can offer that added emotion where you imbue more into it than what is there.

      4. Sweetest Perfection says:

        “Somebody” is a song full of irony and definitely not an empath song, though it was this empath’s song on my wedding day, precisely because I know what the lyrics mean. Actually, I doubt anything Martin wrote could be called an empath song, quite the opposite.

        1. Bibi says:

          This is an example of my ET and nostalgia clouding the song. (Also, in fairness I never really paid THAT close attention to the lyrics.)

          As a teen, I recall thinking, ‘I will be that somebody for you.’

          Shit. I feel like a dumbass.

  19. BC30 says:

    Many artists to do not write their own music; or at best, they co-write it. So, it is the songwriters who are narcissists? If not, then are most songwriters simply catering to narcissist artists?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Valid point. Some writers are narcissists as well. Some will be dictated to by the narcissist. Some write the music and the narcissist artist writes the lyrics.

  20. Asp Emp says:

    ….. floored…..

    When people reading the title of this article – they may see the word “conned”, yet if one looks at some of the synonyms of the word ‘conned’……..

    A ‘consciously’ aware narcissist has the need for their victim to be ‘taught’ in order to be ‘steered’, ‘bluffed’ before the victim is ‘mastered’, ‘victimized’ and ‘misled’ all the while being ‘examined’……

    Word Salad….. is served…..

  21. Horseyak. says:

    Great post. In the ‘70’s I worked with a man who wrote the lyrics to one of the songs listed here. His wife was pregnant and he was trying to get me to sleep with him. I can tell you, without hesitation, he was a narcissist. Great lyricist, though. And very cute. But I wisely passed on the “cheap, physical relationship” he was offering.

    1. Bubbles says:

      Dearest Horseyak,
      I can somewhat relate to your story
      I worked in the music industry for a spell and this singer songwriter artist, who had his own tv show, took me out to a drive in on our very first outing
      He asked me to get in the back seat, as he seemingly wanted his wicked way with me …. I politely refused this narcissistic nitwit, so he placed the speaker back and drove me home (I was home within 1/2 hr of going on the date )
      Needless to say, that was the end of that
      Luv Bubbles xx

      1. Horseyak says:

        Their sense of entitlement is absolutely astounding, isn’t it?

  22. Myray says:


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