Empathy and Irony
Many people state that my kind and me lack empathy. I don’t like that attitude. First of all it amounts to a criticism and I am not to be criticised. Secondly, empathy is regarded by some as the ability of blurring the line between self and other. The handy dose of empathy pictured above underlines this. In fact I am amongst the best at blurring the line between self and other. I am a champion at it. One of my killer lines of seduction is to declare
“I don’t where you end and where I begin we are merged into one.”
If that is not a blurring of the line between self and other I do not know what is. I repeatedly explain that I see people as extensions of myself, they are objects that become subsumed within what I am as I swallow up their identity and use their traits as my own. Blurring of lines? I would argue that that is an obliteration. By that definition I am absolutely oozing empathy aren’t I?
The third reason that I do not like the suggestion that I lack empathy is that empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others. Again, I understand the feelings of others to a high degree. How can I manipulate those feelings if I do not understand them? Some of our kind instinctively behave in a manner which causes manipulation. They do not have much thought behind the process but they act in this fashion because it is all they know. It is all they have been conditioned and programmed to do. They do not need to consider what they are doing because it just happens and then the manipulation unfolds. Those of us at the greater end of the scale of narcissists do consider what to do in terms of our manipulation. We are always plotting and scheming as we reflect on the best way of manipulating you to do what we want and provide us with our precious fuel. I sit and consider the most effective ways of wielding my devilish toolkit in order to provoke and engender the most rewarding emotional reactions from you. I work through the schemes and machinations as I dream up new ways of provoking you. I analyse your life, what you do and what you say and then work out how I can then use that material to make you react.If I did not understand how certain things would make you feel, how can I know how best to manipulate you? I understand all about your feelings because I watch you and I observe and I remember. I have done this many times to your type and therefore I have built up an acquired knowledge of the ways that people such as you will react. I sit and consider what I can do to make you hurt, make you cry and make you frustrated. I know you so well I know exactly which buttons to press. I know which emotions to coax from you and because I understand this I know precisely what to do to achieve this. For some of you a cold front of silent treatment will make you pour forth that fuel as you frantically call and cry, worried as to why we have stopped speaking to you. With others a prolonged period of triangulation brings out the emotional response required because you always compete with someone or something that you perceive as a threat.
The fact you show your feelings so readily is joyously received by us. You provide us with a manual from which we can learn. We can mimic your emotions so our fakery continues to draw you in, make you feel sorry for us and have you focussed on us. Your exhibitionism in this regard allows us to understand which emotions run deepest in you and also the ways in which these emotions can be brought to the surface. We have to know how you feel so we can then influence how you will feel. I understand your emotions. That is demonstrating empathy is it not? Would you now say that we lack empathy?
You cannot say that we do not care about your feelings either. We care about them because we need those feelings because they provide us with fuel. We need to know that you will feel and show those feelings to us. We care very much about your feelings as without them we would be denied our fuel and that is fatal to us. We care about your manifestation of those feelings and that they are directed towards us. What we do not care about is their effect on you. That is of no interest to us because it serves no purpose to us. If you are left anxious, unable to eat or sleep then all we care about is that your anxiety is shown to us. The impact on your health and well being is of no concern to us because that does not provide us with fuel. It is not our role because of the way we are to make you feel better (unless of course that is required in order to obtain further fuel) but it is our role to make you feel so you give us fuel. We have no interest in the day-to-day or long-term effects of how you are feeling just so long as you can keep showing your emotions to us and giving us fuel. We have nothing to gain in alleviating your sadness. We have no interest in offering solutions to make your pain and misery go away. That is the brutal truth.
Don’t say however we do not understand how you feel. We most certainly do because we have to know this in order to exploit your feelings further. Indeed we often make you feel that way on purpose so we know exactly how you feel. We need to know the best way to pull on your strings and this means understanding how you will feel and react. So that is empathy for you indeed. Who would have thought it? Empathy from the devil. How ironic.
12 thoughts on “Empathy and Irony”
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Only 30 ml concentrate empathy? 😉
I just took the ‘Empath Quiz’ on your video posted on YT, HG. I really enjoyed that and I have to admit that I laughed at a couple of the ‘answers’ on the multiple choice questions…… (you know me). I did ok, considering….. the quiz was very well thought out and thank you for that, HG.
You are welcome.
I hate that quiz cuz I always fail!
In my opinion, it’s not about the failing or passing really – it’s a way of gauging where you are in the learning period or what has been understood.
Have you seen the ‘Quiz : What’s The Interaction?’. Again, that was interesting.
Dearest BC30,
You sound very hard on yourself lovely
I don’t mind a quiz now n then for a bit of ‘fun’, however, I don’t believe you can ever ‘fail’ doing quiz
Be kind to yourself precious one, you’re worth it
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Dearest Asp Emp,
I didn’t know there was a quiz until you mentioned it and where to find it …..thank you
I gave it a go, must say I’m really more of a visual person, I do relatively well in ‘who wants to be a millionaire’ ….hehe
How did I go?
Don’t ask
Must say I did have correct answers then changed them as I doubted myself (note to Bubbles, must work harder on self doubt) 😂
Let’s just say, I’ll probably be here till I die
🤣
Super quiz Mr Tudor, thank you, analysing and knowing oneself is not as easy as one vainly thinks
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Ah, hello, Bubbles. I am glad you found the Quiz and took part. View it as taking part that matters – not about passing or failing – measuring your learning / understanding. Can I say that your words “Let’s just say, I’ll probably be here till I die” – you are putting yourself down, unnecessarily.
Look at it this way – I know about Quality Assurance and the experience I have on this is when, say, an organisation uses a specific Quality Assurance System (Practical Quality System for Smaller Organisations – PQASSO for short – is BRILL – I viewed it as a basic structure for say, starting a new charitable organisation) – the organisation can use it to obtain the views and understanding from service users, people who work in the organisation, the Board, the Management etc – to see & gauge understanding about the organisation, it’s structure, it’s guidance (policies & procedures) and whatever else that may exist but the persons themselves are not aware of the existence – using the responses to ‘measure’ the weaknesses and strengths of the organisation.
Now, I am not saying – at all, that this Quiz is about HG’s provision of resources that he has given us, nor am I saying it’s about what we have learnt or understood – maybe use it as a guidance to what you may – if you think it is needed – need to learn more about on the areas that you may have a ‘weak’ spot in relation to narcissism.
So, HG is providing us with a ‘test’ for ourselves to use and measure against. I actually wrote the question & the multiple choice answers down and have retained this so that I can use as a ‘reference’ to see what (and if) I need to go back and re-read about…… yes, it is brilliant that HG is providing these ‘little exams’.
Good to hear from you, Bubbles 🙂 x
Dearest Asp Emp,
Awww you’re too kind sweetness
Thankyou so much for your caring, helpful suggestions and most interesting observations about quality assurance
I was actually saying ‘ I’ll probably be here til I die’ in jest
I am aware of my many weaknesses n strengths (should make a list) and I actually enjoyed Mr Tudor’s quiz
We can never stop being educated and I’m always willing to learn ……hopefully it’ll stop
me from getting dementia 😂
I very much appreciate your kind and thoughtful response
I will redo it and see how I go
Thank you again lovely …..always room for improvement
💕
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Hello Bubbles 🙂 I have just read this conversation again and I missed seeing this comment, so, I am just going to ask how you are doing and I have thought about you. Signing off with a hug to you all 🙂 xx
Big difference between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. HG is off the charts (being an ultra) on the cognitive empathy scale. Even the person I knew who was a lesser had some though. He was very skilled at picking up on my moods, more so than most actually, but of course he couldn’t have cared any less about how those moods were actually affecting me. Great article.
This is so poetically & perfectly stated.
And who is to say the same can’t be said for empaths? Who the hell are we to try to fix, heal, or fuel another? Who are we to tell them how they should be, what they should do, how they should live? Who are we to sacrifice ourselves or to do things at the expense of ourselves? I find a personal arrogance in those actions that has always bothered me.
I think there is a disturbing line between saying “You can’t do this to me” and “You shouldn’t do this” to another person. Somewhere in there being empathetic blurs with being narcissistic.
Super I actually thought that too a few years ago. Pretty narcissistic of me to think I can fix people, although I felt required to do it. I used to think it was my purpose in life and it’s where I got my self worth. Not anymore.