The 5 Wants Of the Narcissist
- I want your fuel
I want your fuel. I want it all and I want it from you, him, her, them and especially you. I want it from the moment I rise until the moment I am embraced by slumber. I want it pouring over me, potent and plenty, gushing from you. I want your positive fuel, the joy, the adoration, the love, the passion and the praise. I want your negative fuel, the hatred, the anger, the tears and the fear. Pour it over me, immerse me in that edifying, invigorating and sustaining fuel. There is never enough and I want to keep on experiencing the surge as your fuel increases the flames inside me, burning and rising, powering me as I blaze a trail through all that `I do. I want your fuel now, tomorrow and always.
- I want to engulf you
I am immense, a giant, a prince amongst men, a behemoth that moves with ease and purpose about the earth. I want to subsume you into me, ensuring that there is no trace of you left as I fully integrate you into what I am. I want my tendrils to reach out to you, feeling their way towards the fuel vapours that emanate from you, their probing senses tracking you down. I want them to coil about you and pull you towards me, binding you to me until steadily I suck you into my world and into my false reality. I want you hooked up, connected, locked-in, attached and embedded as little by little I consume you and encompass you with my greatness. You will not resist for the elation and delight that you experience as this process happens is irresistible. I want to own you, I want you to become part of me, I want there to be no start to you and any end to me.
- I want to be the one
I want to be the one that you think of all of the time. I want you to be the person that you orbit around, your sun, your centre of the universe. I want to be the one that is recognised for my greatness, for my brilliance and my achievements. I do not care that I have exaggerated them or stolen them from others whom I have brushed against, stripping away facets of their character to add to my own. I have no care for that. All I care is that I am the one towards whom heads turn when I enter a room. I am the one who is applauded. I want to be the one who leads, conquers and smites. The destroyer of worlds, the creator of new ones, a god. I want to be the one whose power radiates from him so that is tangible to all those who look upon me. I want to be the one who shocks and awes. I want to be the one who does. I want to be the one who rules, who presides and who dictates. I want to be the one you rely on, turn to and devote yourself too. I want to be the one who is credited for all successes, I want to be the one who is your alpha and your omega, your first thought and your last thought. I want to be the one whose name you utter with your dying breath.
- I want your essence
I am the stealer of souls, the charlatan that comes and with sugar-coated promises and offers you the world in exchange for your very essence. You never realise that this is the cost of this transaction but I want to suck the essence from within you, drain you of it and consume it for myself. I want to leave you a broken, dried out husk. I want your essence to fill the gaping hole that endures inside of me. I want that sweet, wonderful essence to flow through me, easing the pain, soothing the fevered freneticism and bring comfort and relief. Like a purifying river, I want your essence to course through me, sweeping away the disease that riddles me. I want your essence to wipe away the dirt, remove the smears and eradicate the stains. I know I flirt with all kinds of dirt, but your essence will save me from such temptation. That is why I want it.
- I want it to stop
Or do I?
9 thoughts on “The 5 Wants Of the Narcissist”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Reading this article, I can understand how the potency and level of ‘fuel’ can ‘drive’ a narcissist – the Lessers & MRNs not realising what they are – they would not be able to comprehend or even explain themselves, should they behave in this way.
I recall quite distinctly, that Lesser saying to me “I want to possess you” in the early days of the ‘interaction’ of that Lesser narcissist. Ok, he may not have been aware of what he is – if I had been ‘switched on’ logically (because I was not in ‘deep’ emotionally at that time) – I would have asked ‘what do you mean by that?’. I was focused on going back to the workshop – because of the way my brain is ‘wired’ I was not stopping to think or ‘process’ what he actually said even though I recall it very well.
I had told someone who also knew him years after those words were said and she didn’t respond in a positive way. She recoiled.
After leaning and reading a lot about narcissism and certainly this article, I can now understand those words he said.
AND, as I typed those words just now, there was a ‘flare’ of anger. Because he DARED to cross the road to speak to me last autumn. He DARED to treat me badly. He DARED to physically hurt me. He DARED to do what he did to me. Ok, this is my ET “talking”.
Yet, logically, my mind tells me that a Lesser does not know what he is. That may be the case. This Lesser that I knew is a monster. Not a person. He got away with all he did to me.
That is why I cannot and will not forgive. I can forget (until a trigger brings it back). Not forgive. I cannot delete that part of my brain’s ‘hard-drive. I wish I could.
Has he done it to someone else since? I did report him but was not believed – “no case to answer”. Do I have to live with the fact that I was not able to do anything to prevent someone else getting hurt? That bothers me yet I don’t dwell on it.
These are some of the “residue” that are ingrained by the Lesser.
The narcissist can want these things but they can no longer have them.
They are addicted to supply.
Fuel not supply. Supply is a verb.
I feel sorry for you HG. Must be awful living like that. Then again, you know no different. 💗
Not in the slightest. It does not concern me at all. I think it must be awful living as an empath, but I understand why people will disagree.
He wanted to be me, and of
End of