Is the Narcissist Truly Religious?

21 thoughts on “Is the Narcissist Truly Religious?

  1. MP says:

    Just like False Empaths make people believe that there are no real empaths, religious narcissists cause people to be disdainful or suspicious of people of faith and religious institutions.

    1. lickemtomorrow says:

      Well said, MP. The fakery of the narcissist, or the facade, gives other believers a bad reputation and therefore reason for people to doubt them. If you throw cognitive empathy into the mix, which can be mistaken for emotional empathy, it could be very hard to tell them apart. Especially for people who are not sensitive to the machinations of the narcissist. I do believe any group/institution could come under the microscope in this respect as there will be narcissists within them all. The real horror/tragedy is that any genuine help that could be given or received no longer can be as the proverbial apple (narcissist) has spoiled the bunch.

      1. MP says:

        I agree LET. I think the horrible thigg ng a that happened in history such as the corruption of the Catholic Church in the Dark Ages and the conquering of countries by using religion were because of the religious narcissists. Religion has been a tool that they used to control and manipulate people.

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Hey MP, religion for sure has been used by narcs and will continue to be for all the reasons HG has given us. It’s a safe bet that anywhere there is power (and hence an opportunity for control) you will find the narcissist. Their influence is not confined to one group or institution, but the Church is the most egregious because of what she stands for. And while criticism is deserved in some respects, in many others it is not. But that’s probably down to the narcissists as well. Look for the current “new religions”, the things people are worshiping now, and you will find them there, too. It would be nice to think anything we hold dear is beyond reproach, but that will never be the case, and especially not as long as narcissists are in the mix.

      2. MP says:

        That’s why I separate my personal faith from the leaders of my church. I don’t feel the need to agree with the Pope on everything.

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          From my perspective you’re on the right track. Pretty sure the only person he is representing is himself as leader of the Roman Catholic Church.

          1. MP says:

            I agree.

  2. Asp Emp says:

    Looking at the image….. white background, with the person in white, praying, kneeling – not easily visible or obvious….. yet, a black tie that is obvious (a tie that is worn around the neck).


    It made me think of your article ‘You Wear Guilt’.

    Yet, this video is not about empaths.

    Just saying.

  3. Ciara says:

    No, they aren’t from my personal experiences. I just read your book “50 things not to do with a narcissist “ H.G. If you had not said that you were a narcissist ,I would have not believed it by reading. However,It goes to show how easily people are drawn in by your kind. Very impressive,You are super good!

  4. Asp Emp says:

    “lots of isms” – brilliant

    “the chameleon nature of the narcissist” – apt description

    As I was reading this video, I was reminded of the American dystopian television series ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’, which I enjoyed watching when it was aired in the UK. Although this series was not necessarily ‘religious’, there are good examples of control; coercion; split society (ie the rich / poor divide; the ‘we are better than you’ divide etc); empaths with eroded empathy; ‘dark’ empaths; narcissism.

    From “the basis of making donations” (19:38) – indicates that the characteristics of narcissism has existed from, probably since the start of human life but was not recognised as such or given a ‘label’ until much much later. Likewise, with the existence of empaths and normals.

    Again, another thought provoking and enjoyable video by HG, encouraging a different aspect of looking into the characteristics of those with narcissism and what they do in order to ensure and maintain their ‘Prime Aims’.

  5. A Victor says:

    My ex used this to control me. So did my mother. They did it in different ways though. Interesting video.

  6. alexissmith2016 says:

    I have a female acquaintance, I strongly suspect MMR type A is deeply religious and constantly tries to get me to believe – she doesn’t stop. And always says she’ll pray for me. She doesn’t seem to grasp that I’m beyond redemption.

    My brother-in-law started going to Church as an adult, even grew his hair long, we think it’s to make himself look ‘god like’ hahah he doesn’t though, more like the devil incarnate, even to the untrained eye

  7. leelasfuelstinks says:

    Got some text book examples:

    Narc #1: Uses esotericism, yoga and spirituality, is vegetarian, oh so cares about animals and the environment, only buys organic food from the health food store: Nothing wrong with that! But unfortunately Mrs. N.Arc uses that facade to show the world that she´s a better person than anyone else and she can afford all that expensive foods. She´s incredibly smug about that!

    Narc #2: Religious, goes to church, reads the scripture, donates to charity and brags about it. Looks down to people who are “dirty sinner” because he´s way better than that. He´s super human, he´s super special, he´s one of a kind and he never gets tired to point that out.

    And here´s the real Emp: Believes in god, really cares about animals and the environment, loves nature, buys mainly food from the local health food store or grows the veggies herself. Eats only organic meat, uses only natural cosmetics,only environmental friendly cleaning products, avoids industry food, mainly buys second hand clothes and fair trade stuff. Seriously discusses that topic with other people to encourage and inform them. We have no planet B! There is no reason to be smug, but there are many reasons to ACT! 😉 Look! There they are: My Savoir traits! 🙂

    1. MP says:

      The smugness is the red flag for me. My N mom and former MR frenemy were both very religious. The MR frenemy even posts all kinds of Bible verses and even uses Bible verses to passive aggressively guilt someone she doesn’t get along with. Her behaviors do not reflect her faith which her ex husband pointed out and her favorite comeback for that is that Jesus already paid for her sins so she is already redeemed no matter how imperfect she is. Bottom line to both of them is they believe they are superior than other people because they are believers.

      Majority of narcissists that I encountered are atheists. But they are also very smug against people who are believers of God and religious. They also think that they are better, smarter and more authentic than religious people. So the smugness is still there even in the absence of religion. My stepdaughters enjoyed provoking their dad (my husband) because of his religious beliefs which he never pushes on anyone of us. He has never even tried to convert me to be a Mormon and he has never guilted them either for not being active and yet they do like to provoke him mostly in subtle ways by doing things against his religion like drinking coffee and alcohol whenever he is with them and even making subtle digs or mockery of religious people.

      1. leelasfuelstinks says:

        Our “religious” narc frenemies (love that word) could be twins. Every word exactly described my ex-narc frenemy. Exactly like this. They are oh so superior because they believe in (whatever, you name it).

        1. MP says:

          Haha they’re probably the most common type!

  8. Another Cat says:

    Idk, idk, he seemed really convinced. But I felt so triangulated, lonely and sad. He could stay in church for hours and hours and pray ferociously, not calmly, not relaxed. I felt in a way, as some kind of intruder.

    No matter how much I backed down from presence where he was, not to disturbe, he still went for more and more prayer. Many times at home too, and it would last for hours. Nowadays the children are telling me they don’t even pray at the dinner table, when they are with him. Something he used to be very firm about while living together with us. Church can be used as great triangulations by narcissists.

    1. Another Cat says:

      And meal prayers were a horror, especially the last years. Always smacked with some parenting attitude, interrupting, talking over me, etc. I could start a prayer, like “Dear God, we wish for our family” Him interrupting with “Dear Jesus, you died for us today!” (reminding me that this was a Friday)

      On Sundays he did the same. Interrupting my almost shivering prayerstart with “Thank YOU for ressurrecting from the dead!” Prostesting is very hard. You will seem like you think you are more important than God. Narcissists love to use god and children for triangulating purposes.

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        AC, this sounds like a real horror story to me 🙁 And I’m not sure if you still hold any faith or beliefs after going through that. It must have been deeply affecting, and the level of control he applied was beyond. It honestly sounds like something from a cult type situation and quite frightening in many ways, too.

        It’s the first time I’ve considered the idea that someone could be triangulated using religion, but it makes perfect sense. I don’t know if he would qualify for any other “diagnoses”, but it sounds like he was very obsessive or compulsive with it, too. Did he have a religious background? And it’s interesting that now he seems to have backed of prayer with the children, at least at meal times.

        I want to commiserate with you on what must have been an awful experience for you and your children.

        1. Another Cat says:

          Thank you very much for this kind comment, LET. So supportive. It just baffles me how some people (he is an Upper Midrange elite, I think, judging from most of HG’s work) are truly known as pillars of the community, loved by everyone, great looking, highly educated,and behind closed doors can be this creepy. Smearing the wife (me) etc. Slamming doors, frightening the children.
          They are believed because they seem so charming.
          He came from a small pentecostal culty environment, mother marcissist.

          Regarding religion, you and @MP very wisely point out that narcissists prefer all kinds of ideologies, politics and religions to infiltrate. I bet nice charity institutions have lots of unaware narcs. I still support them though, eg the Salvation army.

          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            The facade is pre-eminent when it comes to narcissists. He obviously had one that convinced all around him, which is what makes it so difficult to convince anyone otherwise. Keeping it behind closed doors, smearing you so it can’t make its way beyond that, and of course maintaining the facade for the everyone else. It feels like pure evil, and I’m sure that’s how you experienced it, too. I’m very glad you escaped from that environment and the children are less exposed now, too. The environment he grew up in sounds like fertile ground for what he became and how religion factors into the narcissistic dynamic. Still pondering the triangulation aspect as well.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.