The Role of Sex in the Seduction Stage – Part One
Sex is used by all narcissists in some way during seduction of the target.
Certain narcissists use sex frequently, habitually and to greater effect to seduce and control the target. Why is this done and how is it done?
HG Tudor explains which narcissists will do this, why they do this and what it achieves. Using his unrivalled insight and providing you with his own personal preferences as well as describing how narcissists operate as a whole, he guides you through a fascinating explanation of the role of sex in the seduction stage of the narcissistic dynamic.
Gain understanding of how sex was used (and will be used if you are not vigilant) to seduce you. Gain insight into how what you thought was really happening was wrong. Understand what the narcissist was really doing when he seduced you through sex.
HG Tudor will provide you with various examples of the role of sex in the seduction stage which will open your eyes to the reality of the narcissistic dynamic. Unmissable.
17 thoughts on “The Role of Sex in the Seduction Stage – Part One”
Those legs look familiar…🔥
Bought this and Part Two with Knowledge Vault discount. Perfect for this rainy Saturday!
I met three narcs who were extremely grossed out by the human body: two Elites, one Cerebral. Two of them screamed in disgust when it came to discussing anything which has to do with the body, but especially sexual organs and body fluids. They screamed and lashed out at work!! 😂 One of them was cerebral, and the other one somatic leaning elite.
The third one, a cerebral leaning Elite (who remembers Mr. Wanker?) hid his utter disgust behind religion and morality.
That’s how my ex was. It was bad. The female anatomy specifically. But I wonder how much of it was real, how much was tied to controlling me and how it was connected to the Madonna/whore thing because he told me things that happened with women before me that sounded very different. But, triangulation was in play also. And he is Somatic, go figure. I’m seeing more all the time just what a fckd up person he is, in his head.
I think it depends on the priority of sex when it comes to gathering fuel. If sex is an important tool to get fuel then they will be good at it and swallowing down their disgust is then peanuts for them because the large amount of fuel they get from sex outweighs their disgust.
On the other hand, those who don´t get large amounts of fuel from sex but from other activities and interactions then they will be grossed out by the body, by sex, whatsoever and those are the ones who are horrible between the sheets.
Not every Somatic gets they main fuel from sex. There are some who focus on status, on appearance, on sports, on possessions.
My ex got more fuel, more easily, by denying me sex, and certainly good sex. He knew how much I wanted it. And he got plenty of sex fuel from other places so it didn’t matter to him to deny me. The asshole. He made sure that I knew he knew how to make me happy but just refused. The fcking asshole. I feel like smacking him right now.
What a jerk! But that´s common. Withdrawing sex and then either serial cheating (Somatics) or wanking in the bolthole (Cerebrals). The Elites can go either way, depends whether they are more somatic- or cerebral leaning.
What did you do when he withheld? Didn´t you lash out? Didn´t you cheat? I would have cheated, even without any sense of guilt or remorse!
I only waited. And cried on my side of the bed when he was asleep. At least when I thought he was asleep. I had cheated on my first husband, I wasn’t going to do that again, there was guilt but not immediately, only years later. I couldn’t have lived with it.
Thank you for the explanation on the cadres, that answers a couple of questions I’ve had regarding my parents.
Oh man! I´m so sorry what happened to you! 🤗😥 My heart goes out to all the victims who had to endure this barbaric abuse! 😥
Your first husband was a narc too, right? Here we see now the difference in the schools of Empaths. I would have acted differently and would feel no guilt or remorse for cheating on somebody who withdraws sex from me. Why should I? Someone who withholds sex deserves to be cheated on. No, he´s even asking for it!
It’s okay. It was long ago. And I am working on getting more knowledge, healing and fixing myself etc so I can hopefully have something nice someday. But I know that I would rather stay alone than have another narc and that would be okay too. I don’t know if my first husband is a narc, I have not felt the need to do an NDC on him. He didn’t withhold sex, I left him and a while later had a relationship with someone. But I was separated and I didn’t even know the person until then. I think when I began to regret the affair was when my second husband cheated on me and I knew how horrible it was, I did regret it then, having done that to my first. He did not deserve it, I should’ve divorced him first. Anyway, can’t undo it now. Just now, no more narcs.
Isn’t great, seeing all that now?
Maybe we’re at different stages, but when if ever I have a flashback or reminder of Narcx’s behavior I laugh—sometimes at myself for buying his schtick—and so appreciate where I am now.
Absolutely! No, I’m still vacillating between tears, anger and occasional laughter, but yes, wonderful to have the understanding and see my own growth happening as a result.
My own Patri Narc for example: He has never been promiscuous. His relationship with mom lasts now for about 60 years. He has never been a serial cheater. Of course he cheated every now and then but was not one of those Somatics who gain their fuel from sexual conquests. He was pretty much into career (now retired), status, money, sports and especially appearance. And as an extension of him, I always had to be dressed and styled perfectly, no weight gain allowed, no casual clothes, no bad hair day!
Yes, I was trained in the same way, always look my best.
Your comment brought to mind the time the day after my first daughter was born and my parents came to visit in the hospital. My dad and I took a walk in the hallway where we came upon a scale. He actually requested I get on it, in front if him! He was so ‘concerned’ about my weight. I’m embarrassed to admit that, as horrified as I was at the request, I did it. I didn’t know how to say no. It was so humiliating. But my mother had used birth as her excuse for her weight gain, I think his concern stemmed from that. His death was a relief in more ways than one.
I was not forced to step on a scale in front of Patri Narc but I got comments on my appearance every single fucking day! About my weight, my hair, my skin, my clothes, you name it! It was terrible. I wanted to talk about normal daily things and all he had in mind was how I look. I hated it. I hated every minute of it and I lashed out whenever he commented my appearance. Especially when I received negative comments I lashed out. Didn´t give a shit about the positive comments, just muttered a “thank you” and thought: “Who the fuck cares?”
I saw how it was in other families. That other parents are not obsessed with the looks of their kids, that they love their children unconditionally, that they see their children as own personalities, they encourage their children, they respect the personalities of their children and even though I didn´t know that my dad is a narcissist back then I just thought that my parents are strange and weird. And that they suck! Big time!
Wow Leela, that would suck! I am so sorry you had that in your life! I understand lashing out against that, it would make anyone furious. Yes, I saw how other families were different also, that was not helpful in building my own view of myself, we were just not normal. What has helped you deal with the anger?
Studying and career! Academic success and success in sports. Similar to a narc: seeking “fuel” through achievements and appearance (and sexual encounters 😉 )