Golden Opportunity


Failure creates opportunity. It creates the opportunity for you to learn. We know however that sitting you down and explaining your failure to you is far too easy. That will not lead to a correction in your behaviour and neither will it provide us with what we need. A quiet word in your ear, a gentle touch, the whisper of blame and the suggestion of reparation will not serve either of us. You must be punished for your failure and in doing so I create an opportunity for you to learn from that failure and in turn I grant you absolution. I must confess that I dole out the savage sanctions for your transgressions to serve my purposes but happily there is a benefit for you as well.

The negative fuel which I extract from you as a consequence of the chastisement which I visit upon you is entirely necessary. I must have it for if I do not I run the risk of being destroyed and this world needs people like me. We are the achievers, the creators and the builders who act with clarity of purpose, absolute vision and without the blurring nature and hampering effects of the emotional baggage which hinders others. We are needed to succeed, create industries, entertain the masses, achieve sporting perfection, compose the sublime, paint the ethereal and shine. Without us the world would be a lesser place and that is why we must always exist.

Your part in this does not go uncredited. If it were not for you and your kind then I would not receive the fuel, both positive and negative which is required in order for me to exist and fulfil my purpose. I need you. I may not like to admit that fact but it is a recognised one. I need your fuel and in return I provide you with a period of brilliance and then a period of correction to allow you to recognise the error of your ways. I cannot just tell you what you have done wrong, that would be too easy and you would not become a better person if the way forward was made too easy for you. The harshness of my teaching, the horror of my manipulations and the savage lectures are all for your own good.

It is only through such stern and disciplined admonishments that you will begin to understand and then you will find absolution. You will eventually, although the lessons may take some considerable time, years in numerous instances, come to understand what your role is. Not only will you understand your role but you will willingly accept that position as a sacrifice which you much make for the greater good. By acknowledging your role in submitting to us you will find absolution. You will begin to realise that the sacrifices you have made, of your self-worth, your confidence and your self-esteem have been worthwhile because they have helped fuel me and thus you have allowed me to exist.

Consider that, you are central to the existence of one such as I. You prove to be an integral part in enabling me to exist and function and in turn it is through your involvement that I am able to bring my brilliance to bear on the world. Such an involvement should be welcome by you and you ought to give thanks for being allowed to contribute, to participate and to be involved in this manner. You, through me, are able to create a lasting legacy. True, you must ensure considerable hardship in fulfilling this role but in doing so you become a better person, a worthwhile person and a useful person. Through the correction that I shall administer to you, you will suffer but then when has anything that has been worth doing been easy and pain-free? Never. I share that pain. Do you think it is easy having to garner fuel each and every day? Do you think it is easy leading, guiding and forging a new path, always moving forward? No, we all have our crosses to bear and mine is heavier than most, but I exhibit the fortitude and determination that I know you possess in order to ensure that you realise your true potential.

I chose you because I knew that you would ultimately do the right thing. I knew you would provide me with what I needed. I hoped that it would always be good but I also recognised that even if you failed me in that aspect of your role I could count on you to endure the hardship and the denigration because you wanted to help me, you wanted to realise the role which I secured for you. You wanted to succeed just as I have wanted you to succeed. I am a harsh taskmaster but you brought it on yourself. You failed and therefore you must be punished for this aberration, yet through this failure you can redeem yourself. You can exhibit your true worth and make amends for your failings, your shortcomings and your betrayal. I know you can do this because that is why I chose you. I know you can do this because I can see it in you. I know you can do this because I will make you, no matter what and against whatever odd, achieve this. I only have your best interests at heart, even if my tongue and fists may seem to tell you to the contrary.

You will not like me because I am hard but it is this hardness which means that you will learn much from me. You will realise your potential and you will always strive, driven on by me, with my encouragement, harsh as it may seem, to achieve that is right for me, for the world and ultimately through that you will achieve your absolution.


10 thoughts on “Golden Opportunity

  1. pondering panther says:

    Oncwe you ralOnce you realize that the construct is based on bad parenting, things change.

  2. laughing tyger says:

    THANK YOU!!! Things are happening … I am starting to know when dealing with a narcissist.

    Recently, was walking by a couple of people and smiled, one was normal ……… the other got “404 face” and stared, I thought, “what’s that about?”

    Then it came to me – that was a narcissist who registered me as am empath.

    The Knowlege makes me feel safer, again, Thank You!

  3. Vicky j Heiserman says:

    I have a friend that has just “woke” to the knowledge that she is dealing with a narcissists’. I tried to explain the “Love Bombing” and Golden Period to her, and how then this person she thought she knew, and of course grew to love, is a tyrant in disguise, putting her through hell. Can you write a piece ( or is the one ).that will explain what she is just now becoming aware of, but doesn’t understand? Thanks for sharing all your knowledge.

  4. Paul says:

    You are absolutely right about how tough narcissists have it – the frequent anxiety, rage, jealousy and constant effort need to obtain fuel are a great burden. I feel for narcissists rather than hate them.

    It was extremely tough but the narcissists in my life have helped me to grow a lot so may be right that there could be a big picture role for narcissists. Narcissist do certainly serve a major role in shaping society and history.

    Discussing the big picture purpose of narcissist suggests that you are getting closer to the truth so I predict that you will experience significant personal growth soon.

    By the way, I was not confident enough to use a real email address because I have too many narcissists in my life. I’ll find an old post of yours and post a comment that you can reply to if you ever want to get in touch with me.

    Take care,


    1. A Victor says:

      Hi Paul, I really enjoyed reading your comment. I felt sorry for the narcissists when i was first here. I mostly don’t any more, but I do understand feeling that way. I don’t hate them either but I now absolutely want to get away from them.

      Seeing how they have formed culture and cultures has been fascinating. I hope you are correct about HG’s personal growth.

      Thanks for the comment. AV

  5. psychologyandworldaffairs says:

    Do they always do what you expect?

    I think my ex thought that…

    He had been pushing for an argument for days – I neatly sidestepped each time. I had an inkling there might be someone else in the picture. He liked me to start an argument – I would be the one to blame. But I had been thinking we were not working – his withdrawals got to me and his behaviour.

    I do not know why exactly, but one night I did not hold my tongue. I told him to get out. He made a big thing of packing his bag. He told me he would spend the night in a hotel. Clarity returned – it was cold and raining. He had been drinking so could not drive – plus we were miles from a hotel. I begged him to wait till morning. He walked out with his suitcase and nose in the air. Like many times before he would expect me to follow him, concerned and upset – beg him to be reasonable. Not tonight!!!

    Did I know calling his mom and explaining the situation – (he walked out after an argument and could she contact and make sure he was okay) – would mean the end = yes (I was no fool). I committed the greatest sin of all.

    Did I know his rage and fury and thirst for vengeance that would result = No – I did not blacken him to her and blamed us both for the argument.

  6. Survived a Sociopath says:


  7. Asp Emp says:

    Re-reading this article. Again, seeing it with ‘new’ eyes.

    “Without us the world would be a lesser place and that is why we must always exist. Your part in this does not go uncredited”- I am reminded of HG’s video ‘Woke : The Rise of Narcissism on the Left’ and my comment on ‘Bare Necessity’ – thinking about HG’s word in this article that I have extracted as above – looking at it in a lateral way – using the Animal Kingdom as a prime example, there is: symbiosis, the hunters, the prey, the strong, the weak, the vulnerable – different animal groups, some beneficial to each other, others are not. Arguably, just like having narcissists, empaths, normals, nose-down normals within the human race. Symbiosis is occurring everywhere – animals and humans damage each other’s environment, kill each other, the environment fights back (responds because of human damage) – it’s about survival. Electrons, neurons – it’s mathematical / science.

    “I cannot just tell you what you have done wrong, that would be too easy and you would not become a better person if the way forward was made too easy for you” – in some way, it is how HG comes across at times, he provides his work, also to help us use our thinking processes in ways that we may not have done so previously, and / or help us ‘unlock’ what we already possess, providing we have learned to manage our Emotional Thinking more effectively.

    “You will achieve your absolution” – everyone who has been subject to narcissistic abuse has every right to say to themselves “I am not guilty for being addicted to narcissism, as long as I manage my emotional thinking. I am no longer ‘obliged’ to my addiction to narcissism, I must refrain from allowing my ET to ‘con’ me again and I must no longer ‘punish’ myself for being addicted to narcissism in the first place”.

    Having HG’s work available is, without a doubt, a ‘Golden Opportunity’. You’re a star, HG, thank you x

  8. david w says:

    I wouldn’t call you harsh HG at least in my experience. I mean if you prefer me to state that you are “harsh” I can amend this post! I would call you eminently logical- to a degree that rarely exists in empaths and neuro normals. fortunately most “paths” with the exception of co-dependents still have at least some shred of logic which can be brought to fore. I would honestly say that your knowledge is the only true logical representation of narcissism and explains all the hidden factors that no one and I do mean no one else has exposed. If that provides you with fuel so be it. I am grateful in an empathic way to have done sessions and acquired most if not all your material. It might just be the best money I’ve ever spent and certainly has returned far more than my narc did!!!! Any time I feel emotional thinking settle back in I consult said material and it straightens out my hash forthright! Since this is 100% unsolicited I will simply say ANYONE who has been the victim of a narc can heal better and faster knowing this unless they are co-dependent and need an intervention. As I have said before the concept of an ultra narc helping a true empath is sublimely ironic and down right funny. But it is the undeniable truth. Just as is the fact that there is another Hoover coming in the next 60 days! I’ll be in touch

  9. A Victor says:

    As if we don’t beat ourselves up enough.

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