Harry´s Wife : Never Interrupt Me!
HG Tudor explains why you are never allowed to interrupt the narcissist, what happens when you do and does so using an excellent piece of footage showing the response of Harry´s Wife to being interrupted which is both insightful and fascinating.
14 thoughts on “Harry´s Wife : Never Interrupt Me!”
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Ouch, this hits a little close to home! Both of my parents used to interrupt each other and resent others’ interruptions. We once recorded a group discussion at school, and when I realized how much I sounded like my parents, I was humiliated. People had told me how belligerent I sounded for years, but I had to hear it before I got it.
From then on, I tried to control it, not only waiting for others to finish, but keeping track of how many comments I made in class: if I hit my limit in the 1st hour, I made none in the 2nd hour unless the teacher called on me. If a topic wasn’t all that interesting, I’d hold my shot, in case something really fascinating came up later and I wanted to comment then. It guaranteed I made enough comments to get credit for participating, but not so many that I got flack for it.
More reassurance that while I am probably highly narcissistic, I am not a full narcissist. A normal wouldn’t need to hear a recording to realize what bad manners this habit showed; an empath would be more upset about possibly hurting people than embarrassing herself, and some full narcs wouldn’t be able to “hear” themselves even if they heard themselves. Knew an actor whose stage technique was overpowering to begin with, voice projected and gestures exaggerated as if he had to reach the back of the Coliseum even when it was a small house. He couldn’t see that he was overdoing it even when he saw footage of a live performance, where all the actors would have needed to tone it down if it were shot specifically for camera, but his stood out even among the rest as over-the-top. I’m not sure, now, he even saw the other actors, so he couldn’t compare himself to them.
NarcX introduced the talking stick method into our arguments because of my rude attempts to get a word in edgewise during his lengthy, admonishing monologues directed at me and my ‘behavior.’
The memory of having to wait, until a wooden spoon was handed to me, before I could speak humiliates and angers me—until I remember that I live with that NO MORE!!! 😁
Anyway, I wonder if Harry’s Wife has instituted this method into the Monteshitshow household.
Lisk, maybe the ‘talking’ stick was the initial invention of the narcissist anal probe? 😉
Dear Mr Tudor,
Our greater friend just stops taking altogether when we interrupt or speak to someone else …. we must stop and apologise whilst he deliberates whether he continues or not …..we must obey !!!! Of course he continues …. (after composing himself with a few hand gestures ) 🤣 …..he’s loves his own voice and wishes to hold centre court at all times
He then scoffs his remainder wine, refills, then continues 🍷……quite the ritual 😂
Excellent informative pointers, thank you
Ps 😈 nice touch
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
You are welcome.
Bubbles, hello 🙂 I started laughing when I read “after composing himself with a few hand gestures” – I will not ask you to elaborate 😉 I enjoyed reading this comment, gave me a giggle or two 🙂
Dearest Asp Emp,
Upper torso you naughty Emp 😂
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
Bubbles,……ah, dearie me, tears running down my face, with laughter…..I was not EVEN thinking of anything in particular, but since you brought it up…….there is a significant difference when one is using hand gestures, compared to actually doing anything with their hands……upper torso or not! 😉 (laughing).
Dear Bubbles,
Does your Greater friend at least supply that wine?!
—lisk
Dearest Lisk,
Yes he does, but only bottles on special…….he keeps the good stuff for himself
Typical narc ! 🤣🍷
Luv Bubbles xx 😘
“economy setting” – I can well believe that, using the least amount of energy to receive ‘fuel’. There are times in the past when narcissists would be ‘not working’ but pretending to, or issuing ‘orders’ with the least number of words possible. Yet they talk a lot. A LOT. About nothing and everything (in their perception AND in my perception – giggling here, sorry, HG).
That is really interesting, HG, in relation to the narcissism within individuals requiring to keep some energy in the ‘tank’, so effectively this means that the narcissism will always revert to the assertions of control to ensure that there is enough ‘fuel’ in the ‘tank’ to avoid a total ‘crisis’. Just like a car needing enough fuel to get to a garage in order to top up the petrol / diesel, for example.
Wow, I’m still learning new ‘aspects’ in understanding narcissism!
So in my understanding the above – I can now apply that and get some idea what it may be like for a narcissist in their ‘ageing’ process, or when very ill, or on their death-bed so to speak – the narcissism will ‘fight to the end’ – certainly for the lower echelons because they are not aware of their narcissism. There are some that are aware, so I imagine that their narcissism will cause the individual to have either ‘reality gaps’ and / or mental ‘crisis’ of some kind.
As I am reading through this video, I am remembering certain people, narcissists of my past that behaved in the ways you are describing here. The ‘talking over’ others, their own interruptions, and so on. My automatically being painted black – for even speaking, at all! Laughing.
Having said that, there may be occasions where I am seeing similar behaviours over the telephone relay service that I use – from the other person I am speaking with (not the relay operator).
I certainly did not experience of of this during my consultation with HG, at all.
Wow, I noticed the ‘death stare’ on the clip before you even mentioned it on the video….it is quite easy for some people to miss the behaviours of narcissists because it can happen in an instant – yet for others, especially the educated (Tudorised students), or those with observation skills may recognise as such ie the ‘death stare’.
Absolutely….”in certain instances we get these micro moments which show us an interesting underside to the behaviour”.
I would like to suggest that should a narcissist (not as ‘evolved’ ie MM) be observed by, say, a line manager of theirs that is not a narcissist yet picks up on what may be viewed as ‘unacceptable’ behaviour. The narcissist may suddenly apply a revision of history, use their magical thinking, apply blame-shifting, deflection – by possibly, making up some kind of ‘mitigating circumstances’. For example, some prior ‘incident’ with the same individual that ‘caused’ them a ‘grievance’ hence the “reaction” as observed by the line manager.
I have seen similar where I worked previously. (bloody hell, them fkers!). It is actually unbelievable!
I am so glad you are sharing the ‘secrets’ of narcissists, HG.
Your explanation in relation to the Greaters show that these narcissists are more difficult to ‘spot’ within humanity, wherever they are.
What I am finding is when I am reading your videos, you are applying the similar range of behaviours that narcissists use and you are also coming with these explanations from so many different angles – yet I am still understanding & learning more about the behaviours of narcissism. With your people observing skills, I am confident that you can read someone like a book, almost instantly.
I really enjoyed reading this video, HG. Thank you for sharing your expertise 🙂
Interrupting a narcissist? OMG, the ones at work. FFS. The ‘look’ of ‘how dare you interrupt me’. Numerous times. Looking back, now knowing that they have narcissism and me with my comorbidity of ‘complex personality’ – no wonder there were clashes, just because of the different prisms of perceptions.
The difference between me and them fkers at work ?? I am educated on narcissism. They are not. I don’t know if I should be smiling with pleasure or smirking…..(laughing).
I’ll watch the video and comment on it, shortly. No doubt, it will be interesting, entertaining, educating and witty 🙂
Oh, now I know at least one of my grave misdeeds at the day care. The trainings said we should focus on the children, not each other, and I was credulous enough to go and do it. GrinchLady would be sitting on a chair, going on to another teacher about her no-good brother-in-law who set the house on fire and their vacation in at the beach in the RV, and since she didn’t need someone to help with lunch trays and all the kids were changed recently, I figured this was a good time to go to another part of the very large room and build vocabulary (“Ooh, I caught a right foot! Wait, the right foot has escaped! Now I caught a left foot! But where is that right foot I had? Aha, here it is!”)
Glare from The Chair. Had I interrupted her? Worse: I wasn’t paying attention to that conversation at all.
Speaking of the center …
Along with teaching and editorial searches, I looked for the odd nanny job. Baby fix, a certain amount of grunt work, but no narcy co-workers.
I suppose my searches must have triggered some algorithm, because I got the following in my Gmail:
===========
Invitation to Apply to a great opportunity
Talent Acquisition Team
to me
42 minutes ag oDetails
Hi ,
We hope this finds you well! A new position recently opened at Miss Minchin’s®. We are currently hiring for Teachers and Assistant Teachers, as well as part time substitute teachers at our 4 area locations;
[redacted–included the one I had been employed at]
Click the link below to view additional details and submit your application today.
[redacted]
We offer comprehensive benefits, competitive pay, FREE CDA, Associate and Bachelor degree’s in ECE, as well as opportunities for career growth and professional development. Apply today!
All the best,
The Miss Minchin’s Talent Acquisition Team
At Miss Minchin’s, we do work that matters. Here, team spirit rules and HEART — Honesty, Excellence, Accountability, Respect, and Teamwork — factors into all we do.
=============
So
a) they are losing people again; and
b) they are so poorly organized, they haven’t noticed that I was banned from ever working for them again.
Per employee reviews: If you don’t finish your degrees while working for them, you have to pay ALL of your tuition back. This shouldn’t apply to people whose positions were eliminated, as opposed to quitting or being fired for cause, but at least one reviewer said that is exactly what happened to her. Others spoke of the high turnover, bullying, favoritism, and active efforts to get employees currently out-of-favor (even long-time ones) to rage-quit. In my case, that failed—I would never abandon the kids mid-shift—but I did eventually get tired enough to screw up, so they had a pretext. At least one reviewer said working there was TRAUMATIC.
I asked some friends, “shall I reply pointing out that I am ineligible to work there, or just report as Spam?”
One said, “Spam simpler and more likely to be effective.”
(I was tempted to reply, “I have worked for you, it was a miserable experience, and I’d rather be a crack whore than do it again.”)
Yes Doria!
Interrupt her rasclart Doria!
Cut her off!