The Empathic Supernova


What is the Empathic Supernova?

In order to detail this phenomenon, it is first necessary to consider when it might appear and what is behind its appearance.

The repeated application of our manipulations is deployed for the purposes of maintaining control over you. This control reinforces our notion of superiority,  omnipotence and impregnability and enables us to draw fuel from our appliances and most of all you as our primary source.

I have made mention of the Empathic Group, the group which lies to the left of the empathic-narcissistic spectrum and within this group there are four schools of the empathic individual; the , the Standard Empath, the Co-Dependent, the Super Empath and the Contagion Empath.

The sustained application of the many and varied manipulations produces results for us. It also takes its toll on our victims. The Co-Dependent will cling on, desperate for the self-definition which manifests as a consequence of their ensnarement with us. They will soak up the abuse, the confusion and the control until they reach a point of breakdown. The cumulative effect of the silent treatments, the gas lighting, the physical abuse, the psychological trauma, financial mistreatment and sexual degradation eventually causes the limpet-like Co-Dependent to collapse into numbness, malfunction and potential hospitalisation. They gave and gave until suddenly they fell off the cliff and their fuel provision remained impressive on Monday and by Tuesday it had stopped. No longer capable of pumping out fuel, attending to our requirements and showering us with appropriate traits and residual benefits, this failure to function invariably brings about the discard of this individual. The disengaged from Co-Dependent, although distraught at the loss of the narcissist which they crave, is in no position to try to bring about the resumption of the relationship and thus, whilst we focus on their replacement primary source, they are allowed a period by which they can recover and once the lights switch back on again and the fuel starts to pump, the devaluation of their replacement has begun, so we come looking and hoovering for the Co-Dependent. Unable to resist, because of the nature of the hoovering and their own vulnerability, they are hoovered back in and the narcissistic cycle continues.

Whilst third parties may try to assist the Co-Dependent to see and understand what has happened to them, their own substantial need to connect with a narcissist means it is very hard to make them take notice and stay away from us. Unless physically removed and isolated, the Co-Dependent will drift back to us. If not the original narcissist, a replacement narcissist will invariably be found.

The empathic-narcissistic spectrum is a sliding scale that represents both empathic and narcissistic traits. On the far left the empathic traits are more numerous and stronger whilst the narcissistic traits are fewer and weaker. Move to the right and the empathic traits begin to lessen in number, their effects less evident and the narcissistic traits begin to increase and become more prevalent. Eventually, as one reaches the Narcissistic Group, on the right of this spectrum, the empathic traits have disappeared and all that remain are narcissistic traits which become more numerous and stronger the further right one goes within this Narcissistic Group.

Accordingly, with the Co-Dependent, he or she will have many empathic traits and they are strong in nature. Their devotion to love, their honesty, decency, excellent listening skills, positivity etc are most evident and contribute to create a highly empathic individual. The narcissistic traits are less extensive and the few that exist are generally weaker. Accordingly, this prevalence of empathic traits attracts and is attracted to the prevalence of extensive and strong narcissistic traits. They lock together, complementing one another and consequently the Co-Dependent is inexorably drawn to those within the Narcissistic Group, with next to nothing in terms of their own narcissistic traits to act as some kind of repellant.

The Standard Empath may also find themselves shutting down, but more usually they are prevented from reaching a position of complete numbing though the intervention of a third party. Sure enough the toll exacted on the Standard Empath is considerable and has damaging consequences, but, in general, they manage to avoid more often the fate of the Co-Dependent. Instead, rather than giving and giving until shut down occurs (as is the case with the Co-Dependent) the Standard Empath’s performance deteriorates in terms of fuel output in a more gradual fashion which means that when it dips below a threshold of acceptability for our kind, the Standard Empath is also disengaged from. Not so damaged as to be unable to function, the Standard Empath will endeavour to re-connect with our kind, having sufficient energy and ability to do so, but they will be shunned as part of this disengagement until it is time to hoover them. Unaware of what they have been ensnared by and with capabilities improved after a period of respite arising from the disengagement the Standard Empath is sucked back in by the narcissist and thus the narcissistic cycle continues.

The Standard Empath however may also realise that something is wrong, or assisted by third parties and more amenable to listening, takes notice of what these third parties are telling him or her. They have a moment of ‘awakening’ and with that realise that they must remain away from our grip, however hurtful and hard it may be and thus they eventually escape, putting distance between them and our kind.

The Standard Empath has numerous empathic traits and they are of strength but they are generally less in scale compared to the Co-Dependent. The Standard Empath will have numerous narcissistic traits but not especially strong in nature, but they will have more narcissistic traits than the Co-Dependent. Their status as a Standard Empath (along with the fact that there are more Standard Empaths than Co-Dependents) means that Standard Empaths become the bread and butter target for our kind. They too are attracted to us, not with the almost hopeless vulnerability of the Co-Dependent, but they remain not only attracted to our kind but a target.

Finally, there is the Super Empath. The Super Empath is an excellent provider of fuel also and comes with a confidence and a fieriness which proves most tempting to our kind. The Super Empath sees his or her role as helping, fixing, healing and brining goodness to those around them. They have considerable energy, they are capable and their capacity for sustaining our abuses also makes them a considerably attractive prospect. The Co-Dependent can sustain considerable abuse until suddenly, like a light being extinguished, that is it. The Standard Empath also can sustain our manipulations but their slide is slower and more gradual. The Super Empath, blessed with a vast capacity for empathy and goodness is also somebody who can sustain a lengthy campaign of abuse. There is no slide downwards with this individual like the Standard Empath. There is no sudden collapse like the Co-Dependent. Instead the Super Empath goes in to Supernova mode.

The trait make-up of the Super Empath is different from their cousins in the Empathic Group. Whereas the Co-Dependent has strong and many empathic traits with few and low narcissistic traits and the Standard Empath has a greater number of narcissistic traits  and fairly low narcissistic traits but more and quite strong empathic traits, the Super Empath has a different constitution.

The Super Empath has very strong and numerous empathic traits. He or she also has a significant number of narcissistic traits (more than the Co-Dependent and the Standard Empath but not as many as the Narcissistic Group) and they are stronger in nature than those experienced by the Co-Dependent and the Standard Empath.

This arrangement is not problematic. Liken the Super Empath’s narcissistic make-up to the light from a candle and their empathic make-up the light from a spotlight. The intensity of the spotlight is so bright that the candle light is barely noticed. Accordingly, the narcissistic element to the Super Empath does not appear. The Super Empath behaves in an empathic way and thus is a target for our kind.

There comes a time however when the sustained abuse and the awareness of the Super Empath reaches a critical point. Rather than switch off or slide into decline, the Super Empath will decide that enough is enough. In some instances, this means that the Super Empath will escape and follow a similar route to that of the Empath and distance themselves from the narcissist.

On other occasions they enter into Supernova mode. When this happens, the Super Empath will dim their empathic traits. This can only be dimming. The empathic traits cannot be shut off as they are wired into the empath’s dna. Moreover, this dimming can only continue for a period of time and is not permanent. The naturally strong empathic nature of the Super Empath means that it will blaze bright again.

However, when this dimming takes places, the gap between empathy and narcissism in the Super Empath lessens so that the narcissistic traits are more prevalent. They do not dominate nor do they take over, but they are allowed to ‘shine’. However, whereas in our kind the application of our narcissistic traits is unfettered since we have no empathic traits and thus these traits are directed in a malevolent, harmful and destructive manner, the Super Empath uses these unleashed narcissistic traits for ‘good’.

This means that they will fight back against our kind and remain in the relationship with us. They will shut off the fuel provision, they will engage in manipulation of us, having learned how to effect it form their accompanying journey with out kind. The Super Empath will wound and wound, striking blow upon blow against the narcissist.  It is worth pointing out that the Super Empath does not necessarily know that they are with a narcissist (they may only realise this later) but rather they know that something is very wrong in the relationship and it must no longer continue.

Thus when some people ask the question

“Can you become a narcissist from being with a narcissist?”


“Can I pick up narcissistic traits from my experience of being entangled with a narcissist?”

The answer remains no.

But, if you find that you are exhibiting such traits and you are deploying them against the narcissist, what has happened is that you are allowing your inherent narcissistic traits to have greater prominence. You keep them under control and you are not allowing them to harm or hurt innocent parties, but rather you are applying them against the narcissist in order to strike back. You always had these traits, you have not gained them by being with us, but what you have learned is how to manipulate from being with us and now you are turning those manipulations against us.

The effect against us is varied.

The Lesser Narcissist will discard immediately with a display of ignited fury as he seeks to escape the turning of the tables. He will need to get away from this empowered Super Empath and find a new primary source straight away. He wants to shrink from this blazing  supernova of power which is causing him considerable difficulty through the cessation of fuel and the wounding from repeated criticism.

The Mid-Range Narcissist will find himself in a tormented loop as he tries to assert control. He will not comprehend truly what is happening. He will not want to lose the Super Empath owing to the fuel provision, but he is finding that his ability to manipulate and the reasonable degree of calculation that he has, is being sorely tested. He will try to assert his control through passive aggressive means, even pleading with the Super Empath to stop and ‘why can’t you be good to me again’? He will roll out the pity plays and sympathy cards in order to try to achieve superiority again. However,  either the Super Empath decides to escape and leaves the Mid-Ranger in a confused and bewildered state or the Mid-Ranger slinks away and discards,unable to sustain the fight and needing a new and far more compliant primary source.

The Greater Narcissist will rail against this insurrection and fight back. He will draw on fuel from alternative sources (usually the IPSS or IPSSs he has in the wings along with fuel form those NISS who are his inner and outer circle friends). He will relish the challenge shown by the Super Empath and a real battle of wills ensues as each combatant deploys manipulation after manipulation against one another. This hammer and tongs clash of the  titans sees the Super Empath applying what they have learned, similar to the apprentice turning on his or her master, as the old hand seeks to slap down the irreverent upstart. The Super Empath may withdraw and escape, satisfied that they have made their mark and scarred the Greater. The Greater may ultimately recognise that only a stalemate (for now) can ensue and breaks off, discarding the Super Empath and focusses on the acquisition of a new primary source (or more likely the promotion of an already ensnared IPSS). The Greater however will not leave matters there. A note will be made to rejoin battle in due course and bring the Super Empath to heel.

Thus the Empathic Supernova is when the Super Empath determines that enough is enough and he or she reduces their empathic traits, allowing the narcissistic traits to come to the fore and in so doing he or she trains their sights on making life difficult, miserable and awkward for the narcissist. This is why our kind proceed with caution with the Super Empath. Their capacity for sucking up the abusive devaluation and their impressive fuel provision is tempting indeed, but reaching the critical point and causing the ignition of the Empathic Supernova can have dire consequences for our kind.

Not for me of course. I relish the challenge and the assertion of hegemonic dominance. Obviously.


Listen to the Empathic Supernova

19 thoughts on “The Empathic Supernova

  1. Justine says:

    Wow, I’m surprised by how accurate the description is about the relationship between the super empath and the mid range narc. I feel like this was exactly what was going on between me and my ex. It was a constant power struggle, him trying to force me into compliance to his will but I am very strong-minded and independent. He would constantly call me stubborn and in turn I would tell him that he is bossy and controlling. I am not a confrontational person by nature, but I was not afraid to stand up for myself when I felt I was being taken advantage of and I would call him out on his bad behaviors in attempt to hold him responsible but he would always deflect and try to turn the blame around on me.

    He would say that every fight was my fault but I would brush him off because I knew that wasn’t true. I always corrected him and said that it takes two people to fight, it’s not just me. In the relationship I wasn’t afraid to own up to my mistakes and apologize, but he never would own his. He would always blame someone else or external circumstance for his mistakes. I’ve seen him cry many times and would be moved to comfort him like a mother but looking back, I think all the times he cried were either manipulations or him feeling sorry for himself. I tried to reason with him so many times, but over the years I really began to think maybe he is emotionally retarded or stunted in some way.

    Our relationship was very on-off again over 6 years (we would break up sometimes 1-2 months at a time) but I always was the one to initiate the breakups and he would hoover me back. The last two years of the relationship he began hunting for backup sources, and started physically cheating the last year of the relationship but I did not discover this until after our final breakup when I left him for the final time.

    I remember that especially the last year of the relationship he would make comments like “you know there are a lot of girls who want me, you should appreciate me more” and I would think to myself yeah yeah whatever and not take it seriously because I knew it was a manipulation tactic. I did not think he was actually cheating (but he was of course). And all the while he was cheating, he was saying “you know, there are a lot of girls that are interested in me but I tell them I have a girlfriend that I love. I have always been faithful to you over the years. I only belong to you.” Things like that. He would bring up out of the blue, but I’m a very confident person and not particularly jealous or controlling so I never worried about him cheating. Now, looking back, I see that this was his way of trying to warn me to submit to him or else he will replace me, although he was already cheating behind my back.

    I’m not sure if I ever went supernova, but I can say that throughout the relationship, even in the early stages (golden period) I left him multiple times and he always hoovered me back and I’m sure it wounded him a lot every time I left (I think I naturally have an avoidant attachment style and he is more anxious); coupled with my criticisms directed at him and subtle psychological tactics that I would use at times against him. There was definitely power plays between us and I think he was tired of my headstrong personality so picked a secondary source that is more co-dependent and compliant- the opposite of me. However, he never truly discarded me but would ping pong us back and forth (without my knowledge) until I left.

  2. A C says:

    What about the Contagion Empath, HG? I took the Empath detector and I’m Contagion with Majority carrier. Since I take on others emotions, could I have gone Supernova, in effect becoming a mirror at the Narcissist? I truly thought I was one for a solid month or so and I was so devastated. Your Empath detector brought me great relief! Thanks you 🙏

  3. dharamyudhsociety says:


    Thank you for your unsurpassable work on this subject and for sharing it. In regards to black and white thinking, being a narcicistic trait, and also one I think associated with autism(?), does that mean people on the autistic spectrum are on the narcicistic spectrum?

    Some of their behaviors seem to say yes, but others no. They seem to have a great deal of empathy in their own way, and a love for animals especially.

    Could you please enlighten us about the austistic spectrum and your observations of where it lies in relation to empathy and narcicissm?

    Forgive me if you’ve mentioned this elsewhere and I’ve yet to encounter it deep diving your golden trough of … wisdom and intellect you’ve so graciously made available.

    Thank you.

  4. Doka says:

    Firstly, thank you HG for your unsurpassed work. I am but a fledgling student, feeding at this trough of gold. I cannot express the degree of relief I’ve already enjoyed from just your free materials. I will avail myself of your consultations before you get too famous to be able to manage them as easily. I recommend everyone does, for surely HG Tudor will only continue to raise in prominence and recognition. A great cloud has already lifted, my paradigm has been shifted, from just what he’s so generously provided.

    I hope you will forgive me if I have posted this in a poor place, but the question is tangentially related to this.
    I have been fortunate to hear you say, black and white thinking is a sign of narcicissm. Black and white thinking is also a sign of autism. Have you found any relationship between narcicissm and autism or conversely empaths and autism? I am told autists don’t like to, or essentially can’t lie. That seems like an empathic trait of truth seeking. But they’re also not known for certain types of empathy per se either, nor cruelty exactly either. I believe I’ve seen them to be quite loving, towards animals often.

    Could you please enlighten us?

    Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

      There are those who might confuse an autistic individual for a narcissist, but that is the mistake of someone who does not understand narcissism as there are significant differences between the two.

      1. JB says:

        HG, I spoke to a professional who initially thought that my father might be autistic (I never mentioned narcissism at all, I wanted to see what she thought.) I then went away and googled autism and narcissism. I was surprised to see lots of info; tables, etc, comparing the two side by side. It was very informative! Later on after I had given much more detail about his behaviour, she then changed her mind and said she believed he was a narcissist, or at the very least, strongly narcissistic. I was happy and sad at the same time to hear this!

        I think the key difference, from personal experience of both, is lack of malice and manipulation in the autistic person. Everybody is given the same treatment, whereas the narcissist turns it on and off in different situations and with different people, as suits their needs at the time.

      2. Rebecca says:

        I know some autistic people in my life, some at work and some from my personal life. Autistic people and narcissist are so different in behaviors to me, it’s like comparing an apple to a grape. Yeah, they’re both round and fruits, but so different at the same time. One thing that sticks out at the top of my head is narcissist usually are talented at communications, whereas autistic people can have issues with communication, in the literal sense of speaking.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Rebecca, I like this comment, thank you for posting it 🙂

  5. A Victor says:

    Looking back, I can see that I realized that my usual interactions were not working. This is when the Super Nova kicked in, I was in fight mode but not the usual, high emotion fight mode. This was different, I knew I couldn’t show my hand, I had to stay toe to toe but unemotionally and not even physically. It wasn’t even hard work, it was like a switch had been flipped, it felt like a relief almost. And I could see him seeing it also, not quite sure what to do. In the end, it was what got me through some things, and I think made him realize it wasn’t worthwhile to stick around anymore.

  6. Rebecca says:

    HG, Here I thought my temper got the best of me. I remember thinking, “you wanted to see me mad, careful what you wish for” and I just came back at him with a sharp tongue and pushed aside my “that’s not nice thing to do” reaction and released my I’m done with your bs. I was so livid I just didn’t care anymore. I saw red and a ringing in my ears, and the whole time I verbally attacked him, I was smiling like a Cheshire cat, enjoyed getting him back for hurting me.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      Rebecca, good on you lass 😉 I liked how you described it, thank you for the laugh 🙂

  7. Rebecca says:

    HG, Thanks again for clarifying more of what happened. Good to know I am a super empath, sounds cheesy to say, but now I know my fighting backand treating him like he treated me didn’t mean I became a narcissist myself, but I just used my narcissistic traits to fight him back and he ran like a little b%#@& He couldn’t take his own medicine.

    1. Asp Emp says:

      Rebecca, laughing “I just used my narcissistic traits to fight him back and he ran like a little b%#@&”- I can relate 🙂 I did not feel or think bad about myself for having being ‘morphed’ into something that I am not and I also knew that I was simply ‘responding’ in my way, obviously never having heard of the empath having the ‘ability’ to become a narcissist’s narcissist and I came across that piece of writing before I joined ***KTN within a few days. ***I did do a little reading on the blog, went to a couple more sites, found KTN to be more suited to my requirements.

  8. Asp Emp says:

    Ahh, what a feisty little tiger….. laughing….

    1. Rebecca says:

      Asp Emp,
      I’m glad I made you laugh and you enjoyed my releasing my tiger recounting. It’s funny you mentioned tigers because I always called my anger, my tiger. Lol I very much enjoyed releasing it too. I told him before, “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, my tiger is sleeping,not dead” I even have a tiger tattoo lol
      There’s an old Cherokee saying, “Everyone has two wolves inside them, the white wolf and the black wolf. One is good and one is bad. The one that is stronger is the one you feed more.” I always related to that saying because I always felt the two wolves fighting for control. Now I know why, super empaths have equal parts empath and narcissistic traits. What a discovery. My mind is blown…!

      1. A Victor says:

        Hi Rebecca,
        “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness…” This saying, and it’s variations,have always struck a chord with me also. I’m an empath but that doesn’t mean I’m mindless or a pushover. Sometimes people never really do get it but I think those are usually narcissists.

      2. Asp Emp says:

        Rebecca, I have seen that same ‘saying’ in relation to wolves. I understand exactly what you mean “enjoy releasing the tiger” within you, I can relate 😉 Supanovas and empaths are two separate things, you can be a Super Empath capable of delivering a supanova, ah, bless, it is a great ‘event’ when it happens (laughing). Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this 🙂

    2. Rebecca says:

      Asp Emp,

      I love your supernova recounting too. I’m so glad we’re not supernova empaths lol We don’t have to listen to Celine Dion until we die now, which for me wouldn’t take long because I’d kill myself long before the music drove me nuts lol

      HG, note I didn’t call myself a supernova lol

      1. HG Tudor says:


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