Putting a Sex On You


I was in session with Dr E.

“So,” I asked, “what is today’s topic for discussion?”

“Sex,” he replied.

“Do I have to talk about this with you?”

He pushed his spectacles back.

“You do not have to talk about anything, but I would hope you would discuss this with me.”

“Can’t I talk to Dr O about sex?”

“Why? Are you uncomfortable discussing sex with another man?” he asked. I could see he had his pen poised ready to make a note.

“Not at all. Sorry, doctor but there is no homophobia about me.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well you were about to suggest that my reluctance to discuss matters of sex with you denotes a homophobic trait on my part.”

“Not at all, that would be prejudging you and an unsafe basis for analysis.”

“I don’t believe you,” I replied.

“Why would you rather discuss sex with Dr O?” he asked. He showed no sign of irritation or disappointment at my preference.

“I would be interested to learn her views about sex. She is so pristine and clinical when I see her, I want to know what goes on under the bonnet.”

“These sessions are about you not us,” said Dr E.

“Don’t worry Dr E I have no interest in whether you apply nettles to your scrotum or whatever it is you do to excite yourself.”

“Is that something you have done?” he asked.

“No but I have used them on someone else.”

“Male or female?”



“The stinging sensation across the nipples or the inner thighs of course hurts but then that gives way to a delicious flood of pleasure when combined with the application of my tongue.”

Dr E was scribbling.

“I see, so you enjoy the fact it hurts the other person and then becomes pleasurable for her?”


“Please do expand.”

“Will I get to talk about sex with Dr O?” I asked, shifting topic.

“On some aspects of sex, yes,” replied Dr E. I smiled.

“Good. Very well since that is going to happen and I will hold you to that promise Dr E, I will expand on my point.”

“I do it because the issue of that person’s pain and then pleasure is entirely at my gift. I control it and that appeals to me considerably.”

“So control in an sexual encounter is important to you?” asked Dr E.

“Control is the sexual encounter for me. I have little interest in my own sexual gratification, yes it feels pleasant when I orgasm but ultimately I can do that myself and invariably with more intense results. I have even less interest in the sexual gratification of another person. Denying them that sexual gratification? Now that is far more enjoyable than granting them their release. Sex is all about control. I am highly skilled in between the sheets.”

“Is that your conclusion or of others?”

“Both. You see I know how people think, I know how they react and I have had many sexual encounters with many different people. There are vast numbers of different permutations when it comes to what satisfies a person and no two people are the same.  I am like a super computer. I can rattle through the various combinations until I hit the right approach which will send my bedroom companion into orbit. I am willing to apply every part of my body, every facet of my sexual knowledge in order to make that person feel utterly orgasmic. That gives me huge control over them and makes me very powerful. I know what turns them on, what makes them moan and scream and shudder in orgasmic bliss. I use this massively powerful ability of mine to bring them under my spell. Once that is done I will grant it and deny it as and when I see fit. I will purposefully do the things that does not arouse them in order to make them react. I will caress a partner in a public place and whisper in their ear that if they show any kind of reaction to what I am doing I will stop and deny them any sexual congress for an indefinite period. This gives them an earth shattering orgasm and underlines my control over them. I will interrupt a row with a girlfriend by taking her against the kitchen workbench. She soon forgets what the argument was about as I have her moaning in delight before I just walk off before she climaxes. Imagine how she follows me about the house begging for me to “finish her off”? Think of the promises she makes just to feel me inside her again? That is control. That is power. I work out a person’s sexual key code and deliver heaven. They find that addictive and want it so much. I find the power attached to this ability addictive. When you go to bed with me you are getting the best. Nobody afterwards will come close to what I give you.”

There was a long pause as Dr E jotted down my words. He looked a little flustered to me. I wished it was Dr O sat there instead.

“Do you think a sexual encounter should be about something other than control?”

I laughed at this comment,

“Heavens no, that is its only function. It is an instrument, like so many other things, to bring you under my spell, but I must admit, it is probably one of the most potent and effective instruments. Sex is actually rather boring but controlling the reaction and emotions of another person, well, now that is far more interesting.”

“Have you ever wondered what it would be like to give up that control and allow yourself to be enveloped in the ‘moment’ with the other person?” asked Dr E.

“No I cannot give up control. You see, I know there are those that engage in being tied up and punished, you know smacked with an open hand or a cane. They may get a sexual reaction from being treated like this but the real reason they do it is that they are giving up control. I had a girlfriend who was very submissive and allowed me to do…well I will let you use your imagination there doctor, but she wanted zero control. She was high up in a bank and responsible for millions of pounds and hundreds of employees and she wanted to be divested of that responsibility and give up her control if only for an hour or two. I found her explanation interesting but I could not understand it. Why give up control? Why surrender something you have worked hard to achieve? Control is the ultimate aim of taking someone to bed. I control them in that bed and the spell I put on them means that control extends far beyond the bedroom, such is its power.”

Dr E nodded and continued writing.

“What if you lost your sexual potency? What if you became impotent?” he asked.

“Why would that happen?”

“Plenty of reasons. Alcohol abuse, substance abuse, diabetes, age, anxiety. There are many reasons why this could happen.”

I shook my head.

“People like me don’t suffer that. God gave me the gift of sexual brilliance to further my purposes, He would not take it away from me.”

“But if it did happen, what would you do? How would you manage with such a loss of this marvellous instrument of control?”

“Are you taking the piss now doctor?” I snapped.

“Not at all. Just posing a relevant question aligned to your desire for control.”

“Listen doctor, don’t project your problems in that department onto me, okay?”

Dr E remained silent. I copied him an just sat in silence glaring at him. How dare he suggest I would lose my potency? What an idiot. He ought to know better than that by now. I kept staring at him waiting for his next clever remark but he just stared back. This stand-off went on for a few minutes but I knew he would look away first. I maintained my baleful gaze as the fury at his impertinence coursed through me and then he lowered his eyes to his black and red notepad and made some more notes. I had won.

“Not so cocky now are we doctor?” I muttered under my breath.

Learn more about the narcissist’s view of sex in the ground-breaking book available here

30 thoughts on “Putting a Sex On You

  1. Anna says:

    I have had many partners. My experience is this. I seem to be good at making them orgasm and enjoy sex. They however, do not do the same for me. The best lover I ever had was myself. The best orgasm I ever had was with myself. Autoerotic? Sad, but this seems to be true. I have never met anyone who could make me orgasm like I can.

    1. Joa says:

      It means you can’t give up control. I know it.

      My best experiences was when I forced someone to let go of control, even for a moment. This is my requirement and my combination. There is no other way. You go in it? Are you taking control, by relinquishing control? Or it won’t work.


      The first sex, of my own free will and choice – I told him to tear off the curtain of the window and blindfold him with it, not to move and wait for my movements, ha ha ha 😀 He was older and had a lot of experience. I was then a shy, young girl who suddenly became a dictator 😀

      Yes, I was surprised with myself then. Later, I also got to know my other faces in this area. I like all of them 🙂

      1. Anna says:

        No, in my case nothing to do with control. It was sheer utter selfishness. I told my partner what I enjoyed, what I like, they just do not want to do it. In fact most women will say the same, as most fail to climax from normal sex. Most men do not want to stimulate the clitoris. They are not interested in their partner enjoying sex. I found being bisexual,that sex with a woman was more satisfying as at least they knew what they were doing. Sex with men was very unfulfilling to be honest. Most of the time women fake it to make their partner feel better. Sex is a huge ego game to men. That is just the way it is. Especially in a society where women are not even supposed to enjoy sex at all…

        1. Joa says:

          Anna, hmmm… It’s very interesting. Completely different than for me.

          I’ve never had a problem like this. N1 was great at sex. Excellent physical conditions and a lot of focus on me in the first 7 years of our relationship. He did everything to keep me satisfied and basking in bliss – and vice versa. Great variety and frequency. In the second part of our relationship, he pushed too much, forced me too much, it disgusted me for him. So, I did what excited him the most, to get it over with and not to put too much effort into it, 5-15 minutes and that’s it. So he raged even more and forced even more.

          N2, slightly worse physical conditions and almost no focus on me, but I quickly learned to get great pleasure from it. The pleasure was of a different kind. Strong and wild. I adored having sex with N2. Self-control was of great importance here. Releasing what was being stopped in time was amazing!

          I loved both of them and wanted them very much, they both gave me satisfaction. The desire for N1 is long over. I still want N2.

          If you could combine the two of them… ehh… 🙂

          Reaching orgasm is not important to me, nor is it a criterion for successful sex. More. Failure to reach orgasm creates tension and desire that acts like a long-term tornado. Orgasm/ejaculation is an excellent control object 🙂 I like to prolong the pleasure.

          My gosh, I think I got turned on, ha ha ha 🙂


          Interestingly, my best friend, who has many sexual partners, regularly cheats on her husband – she does not get satisfaction from sex. She likes to seduce… and that’s it. She even says, that she’s not good at sex, rather bad. It always amazes me. Sex is an instinct, something we are born with, the simplest thing in the world 🙂

  2. leelasfuelstinks says:

    That´s not sex! That´s masturbation with your body!

    1. A Victor says:

      Yes, that single thought has given a much broader perspective on the entire narcissist dynamic with us, what they are, what NPD really is. It’s horrible.

    2. Anna says:

      leelasfuelstinks- You should watch the film “American Psycho”, the scene where the character “Patrick Bateman” has sex with the prostitutes. He has a mirror above his bed. All he watches is pretty much himself flexing his muscles in the mirror…. Enough said already!

      1. leelasfuelstinks says:

        Typical Somatic! Many Somatics really do this.

      2. Joa says:

        It reminded me of something. I moved to a new home. I put the bed under three skylights. Night.

        N2 was still coming from time to time. He’s downstairs, I’m upstairs. At one point I saw him lying with his hand under his head, looking somewhere high, a satisfied smile on his face. All the sex action was reflected in the windows.

        I jumped up like sunburn, but I was laughing 🙂 It was funny 🙂 I didn’t think about it 🙂

        Hell, I shouldn’t be delving into those memories.

        Asshole 🙂

        When you say “Asshole” like you are saying “Darling”…

        End. Die, get lost, unclean bane!

        Whoaaa, I’m going for a quick walk with the dogs! 🙂

        1. Contagious says:

          I don’t know what thread I read it but this commenter went on and on about how great her life was with this narc… and all of could think was “ thou protest too much me thinks.” Lol I think she should be saying asshole instead of darling in reality. Btw I love the way you write Joa. You are a poetic empath. There is a wisdom like nature to you. Contagian? No importance what cadre, just curious and THANKS for your interesting posts.

          1. Joa says:

            Thank you Contagious.

            It’s not wisdom, it’s an instinct, almost animal, I feel it very much. I have followed this instinct all my life. I have great confidence in this instinct, more than I trust myself… It makes me feel strong and do not feel fear where a large part of people requires support and help.

            Unfortunately, the same instinct does not allow me to give up, to let go when I feel another instinctive “animal”. What attracts me is that we understand each other so quickly, almost speechless.

            Yes, I’m Contagion in 1/3.

      3. Rebecca says:

        I found that movie hard to watch, some parts just got my temper flaring up and I just wanted to really attack the character, especially when he killed the homeless guy and his dog. I was like, that’s it , I can’t take anymore of this before I throw something at the TV. I can’t watch movies where innocent people get killed and abused. I think it not only flares up my temper, but activates my strong Savior part and my Strong Geyser gets in there with the high emotions kicking in.

        In comparison, when I watch the movie, Ready or Not, that’s satisfying to me because the people who were trying to kill the main character, she kills them first and it was very gratifying to watch. I actually can’t sit down. and watch it. I’m standing and cheering, and acting like it’s a virtual game , I’m dodging and reacting to it like I’m there…jumping up and down and yelling at the TV,…they went in that room, nooo, the other way….I get really into it. 😆🤣

  3. 0poison0 says:

    “Why give up control? Why surrender something you have worked hard to achieve?”

    I’m an empath, but as an early child sex abuse survivor, I frequently ask myself this in regards to how most people engage with sex and romantic love, and have done since I was an adolescent. I’d rather go without both than completely cede control to anyone.

    1. A Victor says:

      Hi Poison, from what I’ve learned here, I think in a healthy relationship there won’t be any need to give up control, to the other person anyway. They won’t be looking to have control. But I’m not sure about this as I’ve never had a healthy sex relationship with anyone. But, I’m finally at a point where I’m seeing what I think it will look like and looking forward to trying it the opportunity becomes available.

      It’s been a difficult road though, when I first came here, I had no idea I’d been dealing with narcs my whole life, only that something was terribly wrong in every area. I literally used to wonder why it’s been born, was my purpose just to have this miserable existence brunch pushed and pulled by others my whole life, and then it’s be taken out, having made their life happen? Was that my lot in life? Coming to understand that narcissism is what I deal with, had been dealing with, was an enormous help in itself, then putting the pieces into place as to exactly how they did it, what it caused for me etc, it’s been an eye-opening and fascinating learning experience.

      1. Rebecca says:


        Like you, I was confused as to what was happening to me, what was going on, why i was feeling this way, why they acted like that, why they did this etc..coming here just gave me the answers I needed, the understanding I craved and the satisfaction of learning how to see it for myself, clears as black and white. I see the narcissist now, the behaviors, the traits, the stares…I see and I’m aware.

  4. k mac says:

    Can one have sex with you but keep their soul? Hypothetically of course.

    1. A Victor says:

      Haha, check out the Dark Cups series K Mac, but if you do, brace yourself! I still have my soul…barely… 😂

      1. Rebecca says:


        First, thanks for answering my question on the livestream post recently. I thought you were getting notifications from YT and I usually don’t get them.

        Second thing is I’m interested in the Dark Cupid series. Have you read them all? Which are your favorite? Which would you recommend to start with?

        1. A Victor says:

          Hi Rebecca, you’re welcome, YT is annoying with their lack of concern about getting notifications to people.

          The Dark Cupid series is an audio series. I have heard them all, I don’t know that I have a favorite, I would say more that I learned from all, some on an individual basis, some more as a whole with the set. I believe I have seen HG recommend listening to them in the order they are listed, but now I am not sure where the list is. I have it due to my purchases but I’m not sure if it’s in the Knowledge Vault. The private forum was massively helpful in my understanding of what they could do, were meant to do, so be sure and look into that if you do purchase two or more. Also, for people who are sensitive, maybe start with one and see how it goes before buying all of them.

          1. Rebecca says:


            Yeah, YT is bad at giving me notifications, even when I click on notify me, it doesn’t always notify me. YT would be a very bad appliance, to the trash it goes, except I do enjoy HGs videos, livestreams etc, so maybe keep it. Yes, I will keep it, like Gollum does his Precious….

            Thanks for your opinion on the Dark Cupid series. I enjoy reading, if a book is good I can devour it in a few hours. I’ve read a lot of erotica, kept my favorites to read over and over, got favorite characters too, that I have attachments to my favorite books and characters might sound funny, but if you read like me, you’ll understand what I mean. Thanks for your thoughts and I’ll purchase one and see how I like it. The only way to test the water is to get in, right? 😆

          2. A Victor says:

            Okay, Purification 1&2, Pinnacle and Petulance were my favorites and there was one I did not like though I did still learn from it. I think the first on the list was Purification 1, with 2 being second. Erotica is a word for it, HG being the partner, or “doer”, sort of bumped it into a different place, for me, not a place I was entirely comfortable with but still found educational. I also don’t read or watch erotica so it caught me off guard a bit.

          3. Rebecca says:


            I’ve read quite a few erotica, some were really good, entertaining and umm, educational. 😆 Some I found to be a bit much with violence being mixed in with the sex play. To me, real violence doesn’t have a place in the bedroom and there are some people who like that. I’m not one of them….playful spanking is one thing,but you draw blood and break bone…no, I’m going to be pissed and grabbing the nearest thing to me and yelling, my turn asshole! That is if I have use of my arms….yeah, not appealing to me and I stop reading it. Book goes bye bye. I don’t think HGs books go down that road?? I hope not.

        2. k mac says:

          Rebecca, my favorites are prey and power. I liked Precious as well. That’s just my opinion though.

          1. Rebecca says:

            Do you know the order to purchase them in? Thanks for your opinion. ❤

    2. Contagious says:

      K pac: there is sex for sport. And young people today are very casual and marriage and kids are on the downside in many cultures. I hope to be a grandma!!! Look around. Apps to do it. I don’t judge the ones who like sex but don’t want commitment. BUT for me , sex with someone you love is a different experience. It’s a soul connection and much much better!when I had my first experience at 17, I had love or “ puppy love” and mother said when I told her, “ sex is best with someone you love, now let’s get you in the pill.” Lol. I was lucky to have a mom I could tell. And even luckier as I look back at having my earliest sexual experiences with those I loved. Long term near marital relations. I think the youth who don’t have that but use sex as a casual sport, miss out.

      1. Rebecca says:


        I agree with you, for me I have to be emotionally attached to who I’m intimate with. I can’t have casual sex,it doesn’t appeal to me, in fact, it makes me uncomfortable and I feel threatened. To me sex is being vulnerable and I don’t show my soft side to everyone and I’m guarded with people I’m not close to. I don’t understand how sex is casual for some people, maybe because I’m a survivor of sexual abuse from a once trusted person. I’m not judging others, it’s just not something I’ve ever done before and not sure if I could do that. To each their own….no judgment here.

      2. k mac says:

        I think this was for me 😁. I just cannot imagine someone that I don’t know touching me. I mean that person is inside your body. Maybe I’m old school.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          k mac, nothing wrong with being “old school”. It’s good to have self-respect 🙂

        2. Rebecca says:


          I guess I’m old school too. 😆 My parents were Southern Baptist, so that explains everything of how I was raised, why we (my brother and I) knew the belt and strict punishments. Spare the rod, spoil the child mentality. The uptight ideals of sex and marriage….how I grew up in a religious home. I didn’t agree with all their ideas, spoke my own mind, formed my own opinions and had my own thoughts. Mother thought I was rebelling and just being difficult. My opinions were just different from hers, I was the problem child to her.

  5. k mac says:

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

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