So Wrong

SO WRONG

My ex? Where do I begin? You know, I must admit, I have a propensity to always being right. I cannot help me. It is just the way I am. I work hard to get things right, in my job, who my friends are, making the right decisions in my life and most of all in respect who I choose to spend my intimate days with, but I will hold my hands up on this one. I got it wrong. Spectacularly wrong. I am normally an excellent judge of character.

It is an uncanny knack I have, call it a sixth sense if you will. I can usually tell when I meet somebody for the first time whether I will get along with them. I can gauge whether we will become firm friends and enjoy one another’s company. It happens with everyone including you.

What did my sixth sense tell me about you? Oh that we have so much in common and we are destined to be together. Don’t ask me why but I just knew it from the moment we met. There is just something about you. This sixth sense has never let me down before but it did with her, I got that all wrong. She was just the wrong person for me but I must have let her charm me or something because I just did not see her for what she really was. She appeared so right yet she was wrong on so many levels.

Don’t worry, I know I have not made the same mistake with you, you are different, there is nothing wrong about you. Everything was good at first, I think she managed to pull the wool over my eyes and hide from me whatever it is that is wrong with her. I am still not sure but it was not long before it all went wrong. We had a good time at first, no I will be honest, we had a great time. I put a lot of effort into my relationships. I firmly believe that there should be no half measures.

If you want to be with someone then you must give your all to them. There should be complete trust and your heart should only ever be theirs. I did this but it soon appeared that it was not enough. I don’t know what I did wrong, other than actually get into a relationship with her, but it all turned sour. I still don’t know what I did wrong. Whereas she was once attentive and kind, I think it was all a ruse now when I look back, she then showed little interest in me and doing things together.

She focussed on her job, her home and her hobbies, almost as if I became an afterthought. When I tried to point this out to her she would just go crazy, I mean full on looney tunes. It was scary the way she would just turn on me and point out all the things that I had done wrong. It made no sense. I gave her everything and yet no matter what I did it was always wrong. I just could not please her.

There is something very wrong with her. I could go into detail but you don’t need to hear all about that. I think it is sufficient to say I made a huge mistake entering a relationship with her, I got it entirely wrong, but I have learnt from that error and it will not happen again. I know I have got it right this time.

I was right about you. You are wrong, everything about you is wrong. I knew from the start but I thought I would give you a chance to prove me wrong. I wanted to help you. I saw something in you and thought that things would be all right despite the wrongness that surrounded you.

Yet everything I did to makes thing right you just threw back in my face didn’t you? You just had to make everything go wrong didn’t you? You would say the wrong thing, at the wrong time in the wrong situation. You would make wrong decisions, based on the wrong facts and choose the wrong option. You got with the wrong friends and did the wrong things with them for our relationship.

You showed the wrong tendencies and you committed so many wrongs I must have forgotten as many as I have remembered them. You are inherently wrong; it runs right through you. You taint everything about you with your wrongness and most of all you made our relationship go wrong. I did nothing wrong. I tried to make things right between us.

I persevered and held on as best I could as the wrongs rained down on me. I wanted us to work together but not only were you on the wrong page compared to me, you were reading from the wrong book. You gave me the wrong things, made the wrong comments and did the wrong acts. You infected our relationship with your wrong views and attitude. Everything went wrong and it was all down to you, yet you cannot even accept you are wrong can you?

You just kept asking me the wrong questions and giving me the wrong answers. I knew you had something wrong about you as soon as we met but something inside persuaded me to give you a chance to make things right, that you just needed that opportunity and you would grasp it and be thankful that somehow you could crawl from that wrong place you inhabited and that for the first time, suitably encouraged and supported, that you would start to do the right thing.

I was so right about how very wrong you are.

You wronged me but you will see now that I am going to put things right and I will do so in a way that ensures you will do no wrong ever again.

Right?

19 thoughts on “So Wrong

  1. Anm says:

    Thank you, everyone. It’s never easy. But i at least feel like I am at the third stage of what HG described after leaving a narcissist. I have taken what I have learned, and moved forward. Many people can’t, and I understand that. I see cases far worse than mine every day.
    Dating at 36, after taking a long hiatus, and especially as an Empath was definitely interesting. I decided not to hide my empathic traits to repel narcs, not to assume everyone is narcissistic, but once I know, I go. And I did end up going on a few dates with narcissist, but at least I saw it early enough to end it faster than later. I some how ended up going on 1 date with a victim narc for the first time ever
    That was interesting. My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with one of those daily. When I say 1 date, that’s because that’s all the narc could manage to give, before he tried to take over my life with his sad stories and “illnesses”. I was like, ‘ok. I know what I am dealing with here. This is the lower midrange version of love bombing, and this is not something to get involved in.’ I was like, “how did I attract one of those?” Then I read Sitting Target again, and realized
    1. Victim narc knew I was empathic
    2. Victim narc knows I am a nurturing mommy of two kids
    3. Must end things immediately, before the victim narc does something stupid like impregnate me so that I can take care of him for the rest of my life… And I did.
    I will also say this, the addiction that Empaths have to narcissist is very real. Even though I am now dating someone empathic, I still have to constantly explore my own toxic behavior like codependency. On a stressful day, I can easily feel a strong urge to run over to my boyfriend’s house, have mind blowing sex to forget my problems, and then try to find things around his house that need fixed to forget about my own problems, but I also had to recognize that that isn’t healthy coping mechanism either.
    Relationships are the ultimate shadow work for Empaths. Unfortunately, the narcissistic ones often drag us far deeper into our own psych unwillingly, and that’s why the women on here are true super heroes in my book, especially the ACON ones. I love you all!

  2. Anm says:

    Hey, HG and all my favorite Empaths. It has been a while, but I wanted to give you all an update on my situation, since you all have graciously been my ear during hard times with the narcs.
    1. I am still “coparenting” with the narc. He is still in the picture as of now, and we are still in the courts. However, a Super Empath Attorney took my case, on a pay as you can basis. She is my ride or die, knows all about narcissist, and has been working hard on my case. I thank God for her every day. There are current orders preventing the narc from harassing me or even contacting me.
    2. My children are doing well, despite the circumstances. Both children are extremely intelligent, and are still well bonded with me.
    3. After 6 years of being single, due to narc entanglement, I am finally in a relationship with an empathic man. After dealing with older, wealthy, and controlling narc men, I decided to give a younger guy a shot (4 years younger than my age). He is consistent, considerate, and hasn’t played narc games.
    4. I volunteer and donate a lot of time helping victims of domestic violence organize legal paperwork for their court Proceedings, and any other support they may need.
    Life has been good lately. I contribute a lot of my success from what I have learned here. Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

    2. A Victor says:

      Anm, a success story!! So encouraging, thank you for sharing and continued success as you go forward!

    3. Asp Emp says:

      Amn, I am pleased things are easier for you. It is really positive and gladdening to read your words in how successful you have been at arriving where you are now in your life. Such an inspiring comment 🙂

    4. NarcAngel says:

      ANM
      I think often on those whose stories I have come to know here, so I really appreciate you stopping in with an update. You have offered readers comforting validation that things can and do get better once the valuable information provided here by HG has been absorbed and put into practice. That you continue to pay it forward by assisting others where you can while laying the roadwork for a great future for yourself and your children is both heartwarming and commendable. You are a great mom. I am so very happy to read of your contentment ANM. It really is the best and only revenge should one be given to those thoughts. Well done and all the best going forward.

      NA

    5. Bubbles says:

      Dearest Anm,
      I was so delighted and warmed to read your most encouraging update lovely one
      There is always light at the end of the tunnel and you finally found yours and are back on track.
      One must never lose hope, you just never know what’s around the corner. Good, quite often comes from bad in the most unexpected ways.
      You took the first step by being here and learning. Your inspiring words ‘pay it forward’ to others, that it can be done
      It is so reassuring to hear you and your family are thriving and you are in a caring loving non narc relationship
      Your story and contribution means more than you know.
      I wish you all the best on your continued happy journey and know we are always here for you, if you ever need us, or just pop in for a chit chat.
      My most heartfelt congratulations and best wishes to you lovely Anm 🥳
      💕
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. Jamie Lyle says:

    Hey, HG. No, you are so wrong. You were a total asshole who played me into believing that you changed. But you didn’t. And then you blamed me for it. That is so typical and predictable. You are no ultra because you got played by the best empath on the earth.I dumped your ass and you know it. Thanks for confirming that there no hope for any narcissist on earth and you all just get worse and worse. So, now I’ve learned to become one now and you are not loyal to anyone and neither am I . You blew your game. A half hour and you revealed yourself to me because I saw right though all your shit from the beginning. So who got played? You. Thanks for showing me and being kinda creul but only for 15 minutes, then I stopped crying and moved on a big way. You pre-ejaculated, you overestimated yourself and underestimated me. So, now I’m stepping up, far above you. Now sit back and prepare to watch a newly crowned narcissist, who defeated the ultimate empath. And you got a lousy 14 minutes of feul. Now that I’ve raised the bar for you, I have to lower it for myself. I’d rather have a hundred of you, which are literally everywere around me and go after lesser empaths and yeah, now you’ll never be happy, but I will. Good luck with your hunt. I hope you used my superior fuel to the max. You lose, I win and you know it. Hg played himself. Now step aside and take your medicine son. Enjoy your world toast. But I would drink it quick, if I were you. Freaky Friday!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      And this readers is why the drugs don’t work and why the lower echelon narcissists remain mired in their delusions.

      1. Lucycita says:

        My sweet christ. HG how can you remain unperturbed and polite towards such freaks? How do such statements not ruin your day? That’s one of the reasons I would not expose myself in a crowd simply because I dont have the ability to deal with such nutters, honestly

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Because they are irrelevant and it’s not a logical use of my time being perturbed and/or responding directly. I see what this individual is and I respond in the most effective manner. People like this have no impact, they’re irrelevant.

      2. Rebecca says:

        HG,

        What the holy hell was that?? First she said you played her, then she played you…..and then she claimed to change from empath to narcissist….that’s not even possible…..this is one of the reasons I would never want to be famous, f#$%& that idea sideways! Don’t want any fruit loops contacting me and talking nonsense. HG, you have more patience than me and more control of yourself. I don’t deal well with this kinda thing. I admire your calm here.

    2. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Was it 30 minutes, fifteen minutes or 14 minutes of interaction? Good job we are talking time and not length and girth.

      1. Rebecca says:

        TS,

        Lmao you’re killing me lol

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          Haha Rebecca 😉

    3. NarcAngel says:

      That slop bucket of words made about as much sense as a frog in a snowstorm.

      1. Bubbles says:

        Dearest NarcAngel,
        🤮🪣 🐸🌨

        You’ve done it again, thank you for making my day
        🤣😂🤣😂🤣
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      2. Rebecca says:

        NA,

        Made as much sense as a screen door on a submarine lol My dad used to say that. Lol

    4. Violetta says:

      You don’t get to “become” a narcissist as an adult. If that were possible, I’d have become one long ago.

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