Be An Ultra Member

191 thoughts on “Be An Ultra Member

  1. Violetta says:

    HG, I’d like to hear your take on Ukraine. Obviously, there’s a whole lotta narcin’ goin’ on, from multiple countries, but I’m wondering whether this is like WWII, where, as George VI explained it, we didn’t have the choice of staying out of it, or like Iraq & Vietnam, where both our troops & the local populace wished we’d never come anywhere near them.

  2. Grace Joy says:

    Hi, HG. I’m glad you’re doing this. Even though the price has gone up since your video introduction above, I want to sign up for your highest Tier, Primary. I am grateful to be able to afford it, well worth it, but I have two challenges:

    1. Is there another way to pay? I don’t want my payment info with the Social Media involved.

    2. Caveat: I intend to remain a Primary for at least a year; but in recognition that the US$ is in decline, it may not be feasible for me to stay even that long 🙏🏻

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The price has not gone up. I suspect you weren’t listening attentively as the prices are given in pounds where you’ll have paid in your local currency of dollars thus it will be more when converted.

      You have to pay through the means offered. If it’s an issue ask a friend to pay and transfer payment to them.

      1. Grace Joy says:

        You’re correct, HG, I was confused by the exchange rate, which I haven’t had occasion to notice since the US$ was strong. I’m glad I mentioned it, it may have taken me months to figure out on my own 🙄. Thank you for the correction.

        As for payment, I accepted that the powers-that-be already have access to my assets: Giving my credit card info to Google doesn’t matter. I’m now a Primary Member (under my real name)!

        I’ve sent in the Empath & Trait Detector questionnaires; am almost done with the Weaponized Empath one; & will sign up this week for both email & audio consultations. In the meantime, I’m binging on your youtube videos, trying to catch up a little before I delve into your more recent work. I was so ignorant, you make it so clear. Still, I know it will take my mind & heart time to integrate the info. I look forward to your being the only narcissist in my life ❤️.

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:

          Grace Joy,

          How exciting! The Empath and Trait Detectors are so important in understanding the whys of ensnarement. I still refer back to my results on days when I’m not sure why I’m reacting the way I am. Those results are increasingly useful over time I think.

          It’s exciting to learn what type of empath you are. It’s really interesting to see your trait strength and how your narcissistic traits sit with your empathic traits. As time moves on though, these detectors serve to help you become more accepting of yourself and your own preferences and behaviours. The detectors aren’t designed to enable you to change yourself, they are designed to enable you to see yourself accurately and to accept yourself. Knowing which of your traits are most likely to be corrupted by the influence of a narcissist adds to your awareness and your awareness adds to your protection.

          The weaponisation process is really interesting too. That provides a great explanation of where you are up to in recovery, things you are good at, and weaker points to watch out for.

          The audio and email consultations are fantastic value for money because so much ground is covered in such a short time. Don’t underestimate how much HG can get through in a one hour consultation! Have plenty of questions prepared. I was shocked how much we got through in the hour.

          I’m excited for you Grace Joy. Enjoy your learning experience!

          1. Grace Joy says:

            Thank, you, TS6157. I’m used to regular attacks where I usually post, & your response gives me an idea that it will be quite different posting on a site peopled by empaths, under the watchful eye of an Ultra 🤗.

            I didn’t know I’m an empath until I got here. I’ve realized already, though, that either my own narcissistic traits have increased over the years, or my empathic traits have become more corrupt. Or some mixture thereof.

            I’m glad the Detectors will help me be “more accepting of [my]self and [my] own preferences and behaviours,” I’m so tired of always trying to “improve” (and failing). Added self-awareness & self-protection are more than I’d hoped for.

            I don’t underestimate HG, though I admittedly can’t conceive the potential benefit of the revelations I’ll gain. I have residual brain damage from medical industry intervention, so organization, focus, etc., are difficult: I hope a preliminary email consultaiton will take care of my basic questions, & help me sort what I want to ask him directly. I cope fairly well with the frustration of needing extra time to do things, but I’m also frankly intimidated that HG is so way above me (even at my past best) cognitively, intellecutally, verbally, etc. I imagine he can dumb himself down as necessary for cosultations, though. Thanks to your advice, I will start noting any questions that come to mind. You’ve inspired me to be courageous, this evening I’ll look at his consultation schedules.

            Thank you for your kind & welcoming words, Truthseeker!

          2. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Grace Joy,

            You’re very welcome x. The longer you are here on the blog, the more I think you will realise that it’s a very supportive place to be. It’s unlike any other blog I have visited. Share your thoughts, ask questions, HG still answers as many as he can when moderating, but there are some very knowledgeable empaths on the blog who will also answer questions and discuss thoughts with you. The two sides, logic and knowledge from HG plus shared experiences from the commenters here, makes the blog a really powerful learning experience. We have some laughs on here too, that’s part of the healing process also.

            When preparing for your consultation, let HG know if there is anything he can support you with in terms of the discussion itself. Pace for example, or perhaps reviewing points he has made before moving on to the next question? This will only make the consultation easier and more effective for you both.

            Yes, HG is exceptionally intelligent haha! He won’t dumb down but he is an excellent teacher and excellent teachers check for understanding and move at the correct pace for their students! If you don’t understand a point, that’s ok, it’s expected. HG listens to us here on the blog and has numerous examples he can draw on to illustrate the point he wants to make. Sometimes, understanding something is just a case of finding an example you can relate to. His intelligence is working with you, not against you, so relax, hand over the reigns and just enjoy the experience, because it IS enjoyable.

            HG also offers the option to record the consultation. This might help in your case. You can review it as often as you need to then and at your own pace. Most people do record their consultations I think. I didn’t as it happens, but most do.

            You don’t need to change Grace Joy. We are who we are and our traits are our traits. Different traits step forward in different situations and for varying reasons. Perhaps this might be one of your questions once you have reviewed your TDC and EDC? Why your narcissistic traits come to the fore in certain situations, and even why your different empathic cadres might take the lead in different situations. It’s fascinating stuff and probably one of our favourite discussion topics on the blog haha!

            Prepare your consultation questions, but above all else, look forward to it!


      2. R says:

        When you join,is there a discount code for detectors and consultations? I thought I remember saying there was a discount. Thanks

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There is as explained in the video.

          1. Rebecca says:

            I just listened to the video again and there is no code given,so I’m assuming the discount is done without a code?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            You get the code when you sign up.

          3. lickemtomorrow says:

            HG, I’m not aware of receiving a code either. Who provides the code? If it is you, should we expect it in an email? I did want to purchase “The Weighty Eighty” with the new discount.

            Thanks for any further help you can provide.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            It is in your membership information on YouTube. Z has explained in a post how to specifically find it.

          5. lickemtomorrow says:

            Thank you, HG. I see Z’s post, so will follow up.

          6. Truthseeker6157 says:


            If you go onto the channel information, then you click the membership tab at the top, then click perks info, scroll down, the code is listed for you there.


          7. Rebecca says:

            Looked at my sign up email and there at the bottom is the code. If it was a snake,I would have been bitten twice. Sorry for not paying attention, at least I wasn’t whistling and walking off a cliff. Thanks got it. Lol

          8. Z - zwartbolleke says:

            “I just listened to the video again and there is no code given,so I’m assuming the discount is done without a code?”

            You go to YT, to the section membership, than there is in blue letters: info regarding your membership, with an arrow, if you click that arrow, there appears the info about your membership, and at the bottom, there is Knowledge Vault, and there is the code!

            Let me know if you still cannot find it

          9. Grace Joy says:

            HG, I didn’t think to look for a code when I signed up (under my real name). Is there a way to get the code after the fact? Thanks. I want to sign up for some consultations.

          10. HG Tudor says:

            The code is contained in your membership information. If you cannot find it, email me with proof of your secondary or primary membership of the channel.

          11. Grace Joy says:

            Thank you, HG. I found the code exactly where you said t would be: Under the “membership” tab on your YouTube homepage.

            Yours is the first YouTube channel I’ve become a member of, so this is new to me. Hopefully my getting lost will help anyone who may be having difficulty, too. I’ll email you, anyway, so you’ll know without doubt that I’m a Primary member. Thanks again for your help!

  3. Isabelle says:

    Joined too, as soon as it became available, and I’m already enjoying it tremendously.

    HG: it has been two years to the day since I found narcsite and started posting here. Two incredible years of ups and downs, but mostly two years of learning (a LOT), laughing, sharing. Two years of doing my best to cut all known narcissists out of my life as much as possible and necessary.

    You are a wonderful teacher, and thanks to you I now take to my heels as soon as I can spot a narc – and I usually can because it is as if your voice and advice were always playing in my mind.
    Thank you with all my heart.
    And I wish you many more years of success. And of being with us, of course!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Isabelle, I am pleased to have been instrumental in the success which you have enjoyed seizing the power!

    2. lickemtomorrow says:

      Isabelle <3

      Two years to the day? Happy Narcsite Anniversary 🙂 xox

      You've done a great job of getting free of the narcs in your life with HG's help. It's been wonderful to interact with you here and hoping for yours and HG's continued success!

      1. Isabelle says:

        Hello LET,

        Thank you very much! I haven’t been very active on the blog for a while, but I am not leaving. I will continue to read and post (yes I will). As an Ultra member now, I’m not going anywhere :))

        Whatever I have achieved is thanks to HG, but also thanks to you LET, and other people I have interacted with, as well as those I may not have interacted with but whose comments have been so helpful without them realising it.
        I feel great loyalty towards HG and all the lovely people (mostly ladies, and lovely you all are) who post here.

        It is great to see that you are still around too, lickemtomorrow!


        (P.S: I have at long last replied to you on DC, LET.)

        1. lickemtomorrow says:

          Isabelle, so happy to hear you are staying around and the Ultra membership is certainly good reason to do so 🙂

          There are so many comments I read and don’t have a chance to reply to but find so helpful and touching. Some of them are heartbreaking, too. It’s quite a mix between people just escaping their entanglement, attempting to escape, only coming to the realization of narcissism, those of us who have moved on and some still stuck where they are for now. The majority of the commentary is valuable in pinpointing someone where they are in their journey and most of us can identify, even after moving on.

          I can understand your sense of great loyalty to HG. I feel the same. He opened my eyes in a way no one else could have done.

          Happy to still be here, Isabelle, and thanks for the heads up about DC … I’ve been kept so busy here and elsewhere I haven’t taken the time to check recently. I will respond today <3 xox

          1. Isabelle says:

            LET, I agree with what you wrote about the comments. I don’t always reply to those that I find touching or accurate or that resonate with me (but I do ‘like’ them to let the author know), probably when I feel that what I might write won’t really help or add much. Which is probably silly, because even if you (I) can’t see it, what you write may be of meaning to someone. And that’s not to say that I have never posted comments that were completely frivolous, from my perspective!

            Great to chat with you LET.
            Take all the time you need to reply (on DC): I only mentioned it to let you know, but no rush! I mean it was not a request for a prompt reply – I’ve been slow enough, I’m afraid.

          2. lickemtomorrow says:

            Isabelle, the beauty of this place is that we can be both entirely serious and also frivolous 🙂 We need something at times to lighten the dark <3

            I'm looking forward to popping over to DC to read, and sorry it's taken me a little longer than I thought! I don't feel under pressure to reply as it's always a pleasure to respond and I enjoy reading your thoughts xox

  4. lickemtomorrow says:

    Well, HG, I’ve put the big money on you and you always deliver! That is what I know.

    The perks are already flowing and your hard work in providing them must be acknowledged.

    Coming up to two years and I’ve taken advantage of so many generous offers and opportunities for support, met some amazing people and overcome my addiction to the last narc thanks to the knowledge and insight you provide. Can’t thank you enough, but this may be one way of showing support in appreciation for all you have done and are doing. I hope to maintain my improved situation by continuing to access your work for some time to come. This is exciting!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you and you are welcome. I have put a lot of work into the Tinder Swindler material. I watched the film twice and did so with note taking for the production of the videos and it also required different viewpoints to be covered, so the prep and recording took a lot of time. I am pleased to see many readers here embracing the debate about the material and as always your views are interesting to read. It is clear that YouTube is suppressing my work (because of the subject matter) and therefore the information is not reaching as many people as should it be which is disappointing, to put it mildly. The continued support of readers and viewers is hugely important in that regard.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        HG, you have done a fab analysis into the ‘Tinder Swindler’ series, it is very thorough (thank you). It is annoying that your work is being suppressed – I can understand why YT are doing it, in my view, it is not acceptable on their part, not fair. I am glad that you are not deterred. Kudos to you, HG 🙂

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed, it infuriates me. Thank you for your support.

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Thank you for your response, HG 🙂

      2. Truthseeker6157 says:

        I listened to the Simon analysis this morning and thought it was outstanding HG. The breakdown was incredibly detailed and It really aided my understanding of the other aspect I’m interested in. It was a real aha moment for me! Thank you for allocating the time to provide such a detailed piece of work. I’m trying to get free to listen to the analysis of the victims, I’m really curious there too.

        YouTube are asshats. Grind them down HG, you know you can! Haha!

        I’ll continue to recommend your work as requested. Numbers are building, awareness is growing. Thank you again for all that you do.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you TS6157. I am pleased that it aided your understanding.Yes, I dedicated considerable time and effort to the analysis, it is important for it to be done and done accurately. I am increasingly irritated by those who copy my work (and get it wrong) and those who try to analyse my kind through body language when that along is not an effective way to do so. With regard to YouTube, I will ensure that my reach is extended and that is where my loyal and dedicated readers and viewers have a part to play.

          1. Savoy Truffle says:

            You certainly seem to put in a lot of work here. Say what you want about narcissists, but judging by my meager experience, they are not lazy!

          2. Truthseeker6157 says:

            People copying your work when you have invested time, resource and effort into creating accurate videos, must be incredibly frustrating. I’ll take a little jaunt around the usual suspects and get more comments on more videos to hopefully redirect viewers to the vastly superior HG point of origin!

      3. NarcAngel says:

        In what ways is YouTube suppressing your work? Asking in order to consider possible workarounds.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hello NA,

          1. People are being unsubscribed without notification.
          2. The reach of the videos is being suppressed so that people are being prevented from gaining material. I have information that evidences the suppression because of the effectiveness of my information.
          3. People are unable to find videos which are available (and it is not user error!)
          4. People are not being notified about my videos.

          1. Rebecca says:

            I didn’t get notified of the live chat yesterday, I just happened upon it and put in for a reminder, even then I didn’t trust the reminder to work. And we’re always behind you, you have our support.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you.

          3. Rebecca says:

            I say we take them sailing for interferring with your channel lol

          4. HG Tudor says:

            HG approves.

          5. Joa says:

            Perhaps it depends on the country. For me, there is no problem with notifications on YT. There are even too many of them. Several times during one live program.

            I do not participate in these programs due to the language barrier. I understand every 20th word, so it makes no sense 🙂 But the possibility of translations appears after the end of the program, so there is a chance to see the material.

          6. Asp Emp says:

            Joa, I can totally understand the difficulties you experience RE: the language differences. You mentioned in another comment how you get around this, which is good (albeit time consuming and probably more data usage). I do appreciate the difficulties you have in this regard. That is why I really appreciate HG facilitating the captions on his videos. I choose to read the ‘Open Transcript’ option and stop the video playing, as it is quicker for me to read that compared to reading the captions as HG talks (it may appear that I do not appreciate his voice, I just cannot rely on the listening version – that does sadden me but I don’t let it affect me).

            Sorry, HG, I hope this does not offend you in any way, I know you can understand. I still greatly appreciate what you do X 🙂

            By the way, Joa, you do a fab job in posting your comments here, really enjoyable to read 🙂

          7. Joa says:

            Asp Emp, I never saw the option to transcribe the entire movie to YT! There is indeed such a thing. This may be useful to me, when I want to find a fragment quickly. Thank you!

            I also like reading your conversations and your comments. Some are very insightful and detailed, and some are pleasantly cheerful. Thank you 😊

          8. Asp Emp says:

            Joa, I am glad you found a transcription option that works for you (via YT). Thank you for your compliments, a pleasure to read 🙂

      4. Violetta says:

        I haven’t been following this case because my few experiences with dating services were, with one exception, completely uninspiring, but I will refer people in other yt videos and DM comments to narcsite for Tinder Swindler analysis. (Yes, I know, DM sux, but there’s no paywall.)

        And yes, I know HG won’t love me better for this, any more than he’ll love his primary Ultra members better than his tertiary Ultra members or those who didn’t join at all, but I’m tired of seeing news items about people being bilked of their savings, being lured into traveling to places where they might be stranded or even murdered, or just being led on for months or years so the jackhole behind the keyboard (who often doesn’t remotely resemble the hot photo on the profile and may not even be the same gender) can feel important. Time they got weaponized.

        1. A Victor says:

          Agree 100% with this. There’s no reason any longer for people to allow themselves to be victimized by these people, it’s been publicized plenty for people to be aware.

        2. Rebecca says:


          Another song I can think of is Baby shark lol Is that better? Lol

          1. HG Tudor says:


      5. lickemtomorrow says:

        HG, it was obvious you put a lot of work into this material and it is much appreciated.

        It’s real time learning for empaths which helps solidify what you are teaching.

        I had no idea YT was suppressing your work, though that doesn’t surprise me due to some of the content (i.e. Harry’s wife) and their penchant for running a political agenda. Most unfortunate and I don’t think I’ve ever received a notification for yours or any other channel I subscribe to for that matter. Must be the people I watch! Or YT is just shite at providing notifications. I don’t let it bother me as I check in most days to see what is there, though I may not have the opportunity to watch it all and rarely comment. That’s not the point though, I know. It leads to a potential dropping off of followers and even more importantly a lack of vital information being accessed and shared.

        I’m sorry YT is being an ass and you have my continued support in spite of their machinations.

        A little ignition of fury would not go astray!

    2. Asp Emp says:

      LET, it is good to read your words here. I really like your last paragraph and share the same sentiments 🙂

      1. lickemtomorrow says:

        Thanks, AspEmp 🙂

  5. Rebecca says:

    I’m an animated character most of the time, laughing,bouncing and very energetic, like a super charged battery lol If I’m comfortable, if unsure of where I am,who I’m around, I’m quiet and just observing.

    1. A Victor says:

      Rebecca, I am not surprised! I believe you have a good dose of Geyser! If you haven’t done the EDC, I recommend those to everyone, they are so helpful in understanding more about ourselves and who we attract and why. Then we can be more aware and avoid more easily. The TDC is also extremely beneficial toward this end.

      My Geyser comes out only when I am in a situation where I am extremely comfortable, really only with my kids. I hope I can let it out with a man at some point! All the narcissists I’ve been around hate it, I think it threatens their control, or they feel a need to control it so squash it before it becomes an issue, I am very sensitive to criticism of it and will shut it down. It’s very sad. Any man who comes along will have to accept it now or he will be shut down! 😁

      1. Rebecca says:


        I think you’re right about my Geyser, when I read HG’s article about it, I recognized a lot of the traits the article went over. I know I’m very much ruled by my emotions and tend to be very hyper and sometimes too loud and giddy. My laugh is crazy, people either love it or hate it,but when you hear it, you’ll always know I’m in the building lol I’ll admit I’m a cry baby when hurt,but my anger is just as strong.
        I’m planning on doing the Empath Detector with HG soon because I just have to know where I stand because not knowing is driving me nuts. I can’t stand not being able to figure something or someone out. I’ll overthink it to death. Which empath are you? I told my husband he needs to do a detector with HG too. I think he’s a worried. Lol I told him, at least you weren’t scared like me the first time. Lmao I thought I was going to pace a trench between my kitchen and living room lol

        1. Asp Emp says:

          Rebecca “you’ll always know I’m in the building” and “pace a trench between my kitchen and living room“ – hilarious.

          1. Rebecca says:

            Asp Emp,
            You should see and hear me in real life. Lol One example I’ll give is today, just trying to get work done. What do I do? For starters climbed a ladder to get into the above bay shelf. I slam my knee into the ladder rail, while climbing over the railing. Hardly felt it,but laughed at my klutz self. Carried on to getting on the shelf, got on the shelf, stands up quickly and hits the top of my head on the bottom of the above shelf. At this point,doesn’t hurt,but now I erupt into laughter, as me and my coworkers are now laughing with me at my klutz self again….then I drop the product because I was laughing so hard and it falls between the wall and the I did managed to get the bay done and without injuring myself again. That’s me, klutz as hell. I rarely really hurt myself,crazy,but true.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Rebecca, I loved it “laughed at my klutz self”, laughing. It sounds as you laugh “inappropriately” too (LOL). At the “wrong” thing, at the “wrong” time…. I think it is perfectly normal, because I do it 😉

        2. A Victor says:

          Rebecca, I am a Standard/Savior primarily, with a very strong Super element and a bit of Carrier and an even smaller bit of Geyser. My Geyser used to embarrass me but I’ve been coming to terms with it since arriving here.

          I have had many men who love my laugh in my life. I have not understood it until recently, one took the time to explain why, he will call me with a joke just to hear it sometimes. He said it’s because I’m engaged, in whatever I’m laughing about, it’s complete. Strange thing, I did not laugh this way with the narcs in my life. I laughed around them, at other things, but none of them were funny.

      2. jasmin says:

        I think that one of the main reasons that the narcissists hates the geyser aspect is that very potent fuel is often flowing elsewhere… Then there is also the facad aspect. Some people roll their eyes at your seemingly exaggerated response. The narcissist sees this and because you are an extention of themselves this amount to a criticism of them.

        I’ve told before that I’m from Scandinavian territory and I think that our culture is less expressive when it comes to emotions? The geyser aspect of my personality have been criticised a lot and I have often wished I didn’t have it. l tried to restrain it, but it’s difficult cos it just happens! My natural response! I ended up with friends from other cultures and didn’t feel ‘diffrent’ with them!

        1. A Victor says:

          Jasmin, thank you! I thought it was all just for control but maybe it was something different. And thinking about it now, my dad did encourage me to be entertaining sometimes, when he was in the mood for that. But those times it wasn’t really my Geyser, I hated having to put that on. Thank you for this so much! I want to know why now!

          1. jasmin says:

            Hi AV!

            I think there is a control aspect to the Ns perceived ‘downside’ of the geyser.

            Yes, sometimes they take pride in you ( as an extention of themselves) other times they getting envious.. can it possibly depend if you are painted white or black?

        2. Rebecca says:

          That explains why my narcissistic ex husband would either kick me under the table or squeeze my hand knuckles together whenever he felt my emotional outburst embarrassed him. I could have laughed too loud and he would act like I just shot the host of the party. So glad I left him and he just tried to hoover me again back in April last year. He’ll never give up ,I fear. I’ll just keep ignoring him.

          1. jasmin says:

            Hi Rebecca!
            My ex husband kicked me under the table as well. He avoided to holding my hand in public (after GP and during GP he didn’t say anything about it) so instead of squeezing my hand knuckles he pinched my forearm twice. I don’t know how many times he told me -‘ You must learn to control your emotions’.
            I don’t cry like a geyser.
            I’m not angry like a geyser.
            I’m generally low energy but getting energy kicks when I’m feeling elated and it’s when I’m excited I’m acting geyser- talking loud and fast, gesturing, jumping around and laughing loud..😂🙈

            May I ask you Rebecca, are you in a co parenting situation?

        3. Rebecca says:

          I have my Facebook account set up where people can’t message me without approval first,they also can’t message me on my feed without my approval first. He can’t get through on Facebook, no one can. The last time my ex narc tried to send me a message was back in April of last year. He tried the excuse that he just heard about my brother passing away. I deleted the message and blocked his new account. He never will know I read it before deleting it. ( I know HG, don’t read them, I’m a bad empath. I’m sorry) The only thing I feel for him now is annoyance when he tries reaching for me. I keep the Facebook account because I use it to keep in touch with my family and long distance friends and close by friends. I refuse to let a couple of people dictate my life. I won’t give up my connections to the good people in my life for a couple of rotten apples.( I know, HG, stubborn me. I don’t want to give up my connection to my family. I can’t isolate myself)
          I have changed my number, since my ex narcissist husband,but when I get strange numbers, I won’t answer them,just to be on the safe side. Lol My recent narcissist probably doesn’t even remember my number,he wasn’t the high thinking type. Lol If he does remember my number, miracles of miracles, and tries to call, I won’t answer because it’ll be an unknown number and I don’t answer them. (See, HG, I am practicing what I’m learning lol) His number is off my phone, as I have no use for it. No pictures remain, though I did think about using it as a dartboard, but still didn’t. Lol

          1. jasmin says:

            To get your approval they need to show up and when they do you feel annoyed. If they can’t show up you won’t feel annoyed.

            For me, my inner circle friends and family don’t need any social media to stay in contact. I call them and meet up with them! We share life experience and fotos when we meet. What I did like with Facebook was to get updated a bit on what happened with old classmates and friends… but not as important as not getting hoovered to me.

            I only know 4 phone numbers by memory. Rest of them my phone remembers for me!
            I changed my phone number as well but I know that narc2 got my new number more or less the same day as I changed it and I don’t know what to do about it!?🤷‍♀️ (The children are with him one week and with me one week and they need to have my phone number).
            However – Narc1, my dad, 2 old friends and my cousin won’t get my new number so that’s good!

      3. Rebecca says:


        I just did the Empath Detector yesterday. Now I wait to see what I am. Lol

        1. A Victor says:

          Yay Rebecca! I’m so excited! You have to HG of course if you want to talk about it, it’s in the consult directions… It is so hard not to!! 😂

          1. Rebecca says:

            AV, l already arranged a consultation. How could I not? You know I have questions for him lol

          2. Rebecca says:

            I’m super excited! My hubby teased me about it coming back narcissist. I told him I was going to tell HG that he was teasing me about being a narcissist lol He said HG was going to say, “Welcome to the dark side, you’re a narcissist” lol He was saying that because I worry about it and he’s trying to get me to relax. HA! Relax? I have too much energy to relax lol

        2. Rebecca says:


          No, I’m not in a co-parent situation. I’ve had narcissists in my life from the beginning. My mom was one, I’m thinking a low mid range victim narcissist because she had facade, lived for sympathy from others and she couldn’t control her temper, would get violent and she had a small fuel matrix. My ex husband was another one,but he also had borderline personality disorder. I think he was a low range narcissist because he didn’t have a facade,couldn’t control his temper and small fuel matrix. Thankfully I didn’t have kids with him, no connection to him at all,except he still tries to reach out to me and every new Facebook account he creates, I just block the new one. Any strange number comes up,gets blocked too.
          I had a recent narcissist who was a lower mid range somatic narcissist and I figured him out because of my experiences with my mother.

          1. jasmin says:

            Hi Rebecca!

            Passed some time sense I wrote to you so I had go back and read your past answer in order to understand why I suspected you were in a co-parenting situation and it was because of the hoover attempts.
            Many of us have ‘left’ social media to not get hoovered. Is it something you can do? If not, can you change your name and make your account minimalistic?
            Can you change your phone number?

            I don’t know if you have watched HG videos about hoovers but I put the links below.


            And the borderline:

            I also lived my life around narcs. Family members, friends, lover and ex husband..

  6. Alexander the Authentic says:

    Just joined! I’m excited about the membership experience. I know it’s only a matter of time you will have over 100K subscribers on YouTube HG.

    Definitely looking forward to learning about more famous narcissists in the future including historical ones as well as other different topics pertaining to narcissism.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Alex, YouTube appears to be doing its level best to suppress my work, therefore the good offices of my followers and viewers in spreading my work remain most important.

      1. Rebecca says:


        I’ve been liking your videos and interacting with other viewers on the Swindler videos. I’m having fun,glad I joined. In regards to YT, may I suggest a baseball bat? It might straighten them up. Lol

  7. December Infinity says:

    I just signed up! I will see what HG brings forth!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for doing so.

  8. Rebecca says:

    I signed up for the highest membership and it took my Gmail account I share with my husband.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for doing so.

      1. Rebecca says:

        You’re welcome HG. I’m really enjoying it. Thanks 😊

  9. Joa says:

    But still no dildos 🙂


    It’s a joke.

    1. Truthseeker6157 says:

      Have you not received yours yet Joa?


      1. Joa says:

        TS, are you asking for dildos or membership in the “Ultra World”?

        I use both 🙂

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:


          Haha, I was teasing. Suggesting that I had received a complimentary dildo as a gift for becoming a member. 😂

          I have no dildos. I was put off them by the MMRA Somatic narc. He had a drawer full of nothing but dildos. Never seen so many in one place! Completely over faced me. Haha!

          I remember he asked me once to turn up at his apartment in a Speedo swimsuit. (He had the apartment below mine). I thought that was odd because speedo swimsuits aren’t that sexy, there are definitely sexier swimsuits to be had if you are into swimsuits.

          So I did, but put a short silk robe over the top, and paired that with stilettos to sexy it up a bit.

          I arrived at his apartment, let myself in and walked into the lounge area. I was doing full sexy, didn’t say anything, walked slowly towards him, paused, loosened the belt so he caught a glimpse of the swimsuit.

          He directed me to remove the robe, I did. He asked me to turn around. I did, turned full circle slowly, back to face him. Then he just said “Take it off.”

          See, I hadn’t thought this through really. The stilettos had ankle straps and were pretty high. Have you ever tried to get out of a racer back speedo swimsuit? Have you tried getting out of it sexily? It can’t be done Joa, those things are tight! I was like Lycra Bambi in heels. I saw the funny side and started laughing. Sexy TS had disappeared and he was left with normal TS and a ruined fantasy.

          Funnily enough, he never requested the swimsuit after that. I still got outstanding sex for my efforts though!


          1. WhoCares says:


            Thank-you for this story!
            I am still cracking up.
            You described it so well..the visuals are perfect. Hahaha.

          2. JB says:

            Ha ha, I love this, TS! 😂😂😂

          3. Isabelle says:

            Hi TS,

            I’m with WC there, your story was so well told I could picture it all.
            Thanks for the laugh.
            The fantasies of those guys, hahaha!

          4. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Haha Who Cares, glad you had a giggle ☺️


          5. WhoCares says:


            At least it wasn’t a wet racer back speedo swimsuit.

          6. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Who Cares,

            Exactly! I’d probably still be there now!


          7. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Glad I made you smile. Narcissism itself isn’t funny. What they do to us isn’t funny. Sometimes though when you look back, there are little scenes that you can laugh at. Things we have done, said or just found utterly crazy. Us all sharing stories and laughing about it later I think is an affirmation of us being rid of them.


          8. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Lovely to see you back 😘( both cheeks). I saw your comment to LET, congratulations on your two year anniversary! Time passes by so quickly doesn’t it? I’m glad you’re still checking in, I missed you! HG has been releasing some fabulous material on YouTube with more live Q&A, you‘ll love it, and you’ll love the discussions here. I’ll check DC to see what you’ve been doing. MB is back too, and I saw a comment from Renarde very briefly the other day. I’m looking forward to seeing what mischief she has been getting up to!

            Oh yes, the MMRA had no shortage of fantasies haha!


          9. Isabelle says:

            TS, the ‘kisses’ on both cheeks belie your living in France for a while, haha! That’s nice.

            I love HG’s work on YT, and lately the analysis of the characters from The Tinder Swindler was ace. It was kind of eerie, the videos started just the day after I watched it on Netflix (and I don’t even watch much at all).

            I was wondering about Renarde, it’ll be interesting to hear from her! And MB, yes!
            I don’t think anyone ever really leaves this blog, not for ever, that’s not possible. And probably unwise too !

          10. Isabelle says:

            Erratum (re my previous message): the kisses on the cheeks *give away* the fact that you lived in France for a while.

          11. JB says:

            TS, yes I agree it shows how far we have come if we get to a point where we are able to pick out a situation and see the funny bits. I use humour a lot; I always think if you don’t laugh you’ll cry! Xx

          12. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Yes, I’ve noticed you comment on the more mischievous threads haha! You’re totally right, at times if we didn’t laugh we probably would cry, or, throw something, one of the two!


        2. Joa says:

          TS, now I understand! 😊 Oh, I love to tease! TS not good 😊

          For me, it is an ordinary utility item. Substitute. Nothing more.

          Yes, “my N” liked gadgets too. Like every little boy 😊 He attributed too much, secret role and power to these items.
          Interestingly, we never used it together, even though he knew, that I was “practicing” in private 😊

          Excellent story with a swimsuit! I laughed 😊 Will you let me pass it on? I have a friend, who “must” always have sex in full gear 😊 She will surely like this story 😊

          People’s fantasies are so different 😊 N1 was crazy about my feet (my feet are slim and strongly arched). Offff, what I didn’t do with these feet, ha ha ha 😊
          More than 20 years have passed, and when I posted a few vacation shots on FB this spring, including one innocent with feet in the sand and water, he wrote: “I still remember the shape of your feet” 😊

          Overall, I guess men tend to use items in this strange, emotional way. This often makes sex a theater. It distracts from what is important in sex.

          Sex is the most beautiful way to express feelings. Any feelings. Sex can be kinky, but it’s not about the use of objects or fancy torture. Rather, an emotional perversion. You can have sex for love, feeling awe, feeling submissive, feeling tension, dominating, you can have sex with regret and bitterness, it can be goodbye sex, and even hate sex. All forms are acceptable to me – if they arise from the true emotions of both parties involved. Sex is great to express feelings for. Even such.

          Although, of course, it’s best to intertwine with love.

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I knew you would laugh at my teasing you, me too I tease a lot and am happy to be teased. X

            Your description of your feet in the sand and water reminded me of my very first trip to the beach when we first moved to Charleston, I took a similar photograph on that very first day. The ocean was warm and the sky was probably the bluest blue I had ever seen. It’s funny how images can transport you back in time.
            “What I didn’t do with my feet!” Uh huh, uh huh 😉

            I think you’re right about the use of toys changing sex into theatre. That’s a perfect way to describe it. Sometimes I really enjoy the theatre, but I agree, it interferes with the emotional connection. I’m all about the emotional connection too.

            I’ve spoken mostly about the online narc on the blog because he was the one who damaged me. Strangely though, we didn’t sleep together. So the connection was definitely a more cerebral one.

            The Somatic MMRA was very different. I walked away from that relationship entirely unharmed. Your comment made me realise that I mustn’t have connected emotionally to the MMRA. At the time, I will have thought I did. Looking back though I can’t have.
            You commented on the the various emotional types of sex. I had most of those with the MMRA and yet I think it was more theatre. A depiction of those emotions through sex, but no genuine emotion behind that sex if that makes sense? Honestly I think I was probably distracted by the fact that the sex was so good.

            Out of my five relationships, that one was the easiest to end. I made my decision and never questioned it. Never replayed the relationship in my mind. Even now I have to really concentrate to remember that relationship accurately. I am never really reminded of him and yet he was the narc that provided the full golden period. I think it’s possibly because the emotional markers are missing for me. I recall the relationship entirely differently than usual memories.There’s no reliving when I remember, more ‘flat’ memories.

            I have suspected before that I’m more at risk from elite or perhaps even cerebral narcs. I discussed it briefly after listening to Dark Cupid Professor. I need to replay that again and look at it in more detail.

            Of course you can share my swimsuit story! If you and your girlfriend share a giggle over coffee, then that makes me happy too. I found it very touching that you asked before sharing though Joa, that little comment reveals you fully as the empath you are. 😘


          2. Truthseeker6157 says:


            You are on my mind. I’m not sure where you are in Poland but I imagine you are being emotionally impacted by the Russian war with Ukraine. The images on the news are heartbreaking. So many refugees arriving in Poland carrying their lives in their hands. Incredibly upsetting. I hope you are ok Joa. Here to listen if you need to talk.


          3. Joa says:

            Thank you TS, I had really hard times, when I thought that I didn’t want to live in such a world. A world, that closes its eyes and turns its head. The pain was terrible. It still is, but it doesn’t twist my body that much anymore. I act as I can. Using my abilities and profession.

            It is, what we had expected for many years… ☹

            I am deeply disappointed with the attitude of the world. Sanctions, okay, right. Thank you, it’s good that there are so many of them. They are important. Very important.
            But that is still not enough.

            But, what are we waiting for, I ask? What are you waiting for, cowards, when they slaughter them there?

            Are you men, debating in your nice suits and throwing empty words about the perpetrator’s stigma, the need for security and peace???
            Pathetic characters.

            I am not afraid of poverty. I am ready for the consequences of the war, even if I were to die with my daughter, of starvation or execution. There is nothing to wait for. You have to finally squash the worm. Worms nest. Regardless of the victims.

            He won’t stop by himself. He can only pause to regain his strength. He give a false hope of peace.

            The attitude of some “mighty” states makes me laugh hollowly. Bloated bloat with an exuberant ego. That is why, this plague will spread further, affecting both you and me and you.

            This is all I will write. This is my mood.


            Refugees – they are safe for now. I’m not worried about them. We have a lot of people here, everyone helps.

            I look far. Refugees are the result. The cause must be eliminated. No mercy.

          4. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I have watched events as they have unfolded. The first thing I do when I wake is read the news, to see what has happened during my sleeping hours. I am miles away, I don’t share your understanding of the region but I do share your frustration and sadness. The bravery and dignity of the Ukrainian people makes this even more heartbreaking.

            I don’t believe that Putin will stop either Joa. If he enters peace talks I believe as you do that it will be a temporary peace and a regrouping. Putin will keep going, he has no concern for the number of Russian casualties, certainly no concern for the number of Ukrainian civilian casualties, he must be seen to win.

            The sanctions will bite down hard on Russia but that takes time. What frustrates me is that Ukraine doesn’t have the luxury of time. The sanctions might prevent Putin moving into other neighbouring countries, I think they might, but it feels like Ukraine is the sacrificial lamb. That can’t be right for Ukraine to have its people slaughtered as the world watches.

            I agree with you, to me, European leaders and our friend Biden do sound like they are spewing empty rhetoric. I understand that no one wants WWIII, I don’t want WWIII either, but I also think that a no fly zone should be in place. A no fly zone doesn’t start WWIII by itself and if Putin wants that war then he would start it regardless of a no fly zone in my view. I don’t believe that you step back when dealing with a character like Putin, you step forward.

            I have an online friend who is Russian. He is one of my team members in an online game I play, only young. His grandmother lives in a small village in Ukraine. She is still alive and he still has contact with her thanks to her very old telephone! People here don’t realise that many families in that region are spread between countries. He told me about the anti war protests in Russia, the arrests and the silencing. Russia will see itself cut off from the world and when that happens it won’t be the rich oligarchs that suffer. It will be ordinary people like him.

            Putin wants his legacy. He wants to be written further into the history books and doesn’t care how history will view him, just that he is remembered. I don’t believe that Putin will stop this war. I believe that the most likely outcome is that he will ultimately be executed by a member of his inner circle. I have never wished more for a psychopath to step up and act in his own best interests.

            Keeping you in my thoughts.


          5. Joa says:

            At this point, I wanted to apologize. I do not know, where this thread is, but I remember, that last summer we wrote about Putin. I made quite dismissive comments about the United States and the possible role it may play. A bit because of Trump, whose commity was still in the air. But especially because of the historical stigma of my region, which taught me, that other countries are breaking agreements and treaties and for the most part “cannot see and hear”.

            I was wrong. This time is different. Completely different.

            Great Britain. I am touched, whenever I think.

            And many other countries. Together.

            (Only a few, infamous exceptions).

            Thank you all.

            I hope this war is over by the end of the year. Weakness and winter were often an ally.

            Although each day means so much suffering and more victims.

            As individuals, my apologies and thanks are meaningless. But I wanted to write it.

    2. Rebecca says:


      Where’s the button to order one for me? Lol JK

    3. wensical says:

      Joa! Lol

  10. Rebecca says:

    Where? When? How? Can I sign up now? I want the tippy top membership, please. 🙃

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Go to YouTube on laptop or desktop and the join button is next to the subscribe button.

      1. Rebecca says:

        Thanks for the help, HG,you know I need it lol

    2. Asp Emp says:

      Rebecca, “tippy top” LOL.

      1. Rebecca says:

        Asp Emp,
        I was going to say tippidity tip top lol

        1. Asp Emp says:


          1. Rebecca says:

            This is why my co-workers laugh and moan when I drink coffee at work lol 🤪😜🤣

  11. lickemtomorrow says:

    Wow, HG! Some fantastic options here for the Tudorites and wonderful opportunities to interact 🙂 The price jumped significantly for the Primary Membership, but the discount and exclusive access make it worthwhile. Looking forward to finding out more about how to become a member.

  12. Truthseeker6157 says:

    Just a couple of questions please.

    1. I can’t find the dashboard. I’m on iPad, no private pc access. Could you provide an iPad friendly link please?

    Also T&C. If I sign up to a membership, am I contracted for a certain number of months? How would I cancel monthly membership if I wanted to?

    Thank you!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. I am unaware of an iPad friendly link. It appears, rather foolishly, Youtube won’t let you join from a phone or iPad, you have to do so from a laptop or desktop or try this workaround

      1. Wendy says:

        This worked for me. Download google chrome if you have an Iphone. Then just go to “desktop site requested” and it allowed me to join. 😊

    2. HG Tudor says:

      You’re not contracted for any period of time. Cancel? Cancel?! What heresy is this?

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:

        Well you made me like this! You should be proud, so proud haha!

        Thank you for the workaround link. A few commenting similarly on YouTube about phone access to the sign up. I’ll give it a whirl.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          YouTube have been bellends doing this.

          1. Truthseeker6157 says:


            The workaround link does work, but it is fiddly in all honesty. iPad just rerouted through to the app each time. iPhone did it first time. iPhone is new, so it might be version dependent. Thought you should be aware.

            However, I have become a member via an iOS device. Thank you again for the link, much appreciated.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No problem.

          3. lickemtomorrow says:

            Very polite.

        2. Z - zwartbolleke says:

          Oh yes and don’t have a VPN if you want to buy anything on YT… grrrrrr….

        3. Wendy says:

          Ok HG, this sounds great. I will definitely get a membership.

          I have another great idea. Would you entertain the idea of a future get together for your tudorites, say like a group cruise or group destination where you are the host? You wouldn’t have to be there physically but you could have a big screen somewhere where you are present like a zoom or live stream where we can hear you communicating live with us and joining in on the get together at certain times during the trip.

          Maybe you could pick the destination and each destination could be themed to resemble something out of one of your articles. At the tudorite’s own expense for travel of course but only offered to anyone that has a membership.

          Now, sign me up please because I’m there! I think this a fabulous idea and the tudorites could actually meet each other if they wanted to.

          Lol, I think it would go over fabulously! Maybe you could do this once per year? Every year a new destination.

          I say it will be a huge success and in some way you could offer your resources and/or other things to make some money to support your legacy along with the purchase of this tudorite trip ticket.

          What do you think?!

          1. Wendy says:

            Forget the cruise…Covid! 🤢

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Who would clean up the blood, broken nails and torn out hair after you are all fighting over me though?

          3. Auti says:

            Haha HG,

            I can clean up after the fight.

          4. lickemtomorrow says:

            Auti, just a reminder to keep that Martyr in check <3 xox

          5. wensical says:

            Auti, yes!! Me too! But, since he won’t be there physically I don’t think those shenanigans would occur. Bring him in physically and all bets are off! Lol.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            My presence transcends all distances.

          7. JB says:

            Makes me think of The Apprentice, Wendy, with HG’s face (or shadowy version!) being beamed up on some big screen and us lot all excitedly awaiting instructions! 😂

          8. Wendy says:

            HG, lol! That is a valid point. It could get ugly! But, I don’t think so. We would be on our best behavior. Ah, the memories! 😂

            When you ponder this down the road and decide it’s an absolutely genius idea don’t forget who proposed it, ha!

            I want a kick back ( not literal!) commission, finders fee, autographed t shirt, something!

          9. Wendy says:

            JB, yes! It would be a blast and I think HG would enjoy it also. 😊

          10. Violetta says:

            “Who would clean up the blood, broken nails and torn out hair after you are all fighting over me though?”

            Ah, you’re triangulating us. (Quadrangulating?) I suspected as much.
            You ruthless rake! Callous cad! Merciless masher! Loveless libertine!

            (I’ll be back when I’ve consulted an alliteration site.)

          11. wensical says:

            Wow, Violetta! Lol, love these descriptions! Haha!
            He is definitely quadrangulating us….is that a word? Lol
            Done in only the truest fashion only the Ultra could do!

          12. Savoy Truffle says:

            I’d be tempted to join up just to go to Tudorfest. I’ll bring the chocolates and cheesy crackers. 😀

          13. Asp Emp says:

            Savoy Truffle, LOL “Tudorfest”.

          14. wensical says:

            Savory Truffle, your blog name makes my mouth water, lol! I’m sure you would be the one voted in to organize the menu! Let’s continue to promote this Tudorfest and maybe the Ultra will succumb to the wishes of his faithful Tudorite followers!! #Tudorfest!#tudoritetriptickets
            Cmon HG, it could happen!

          15. Joa says:

            Oh no, Wendy, but that would be derogatory to female dignity!!!

            One guy (absent) and a herd of women of all ages and habits, talking about him. Sounds like a torture, not a holiday 🙂

            It’s better to go with a real man from your surroundings or just with your friends 🙂

            And HG is right. It would have ended badly for sure 🙂

          16. Violetta says:

            He’d pipe in barely detectable levels of Creed Viking, and they would work on us subliminally.

            Actually, it sounds kind of fun.

          17. Joa says:

            JB, we’re all waiting for instructions – sounds very dangerous…

          18. Auti says:


            Noooo, not this time.
            It would be to serve the greater good.

          19. lickemtomorrow says:

            Auti, I hear you. It is your addiction speaking.

            Unless you put a price on the cleanup … then we’re talking 😉

          20. WhoCares says:

            LET – “Auti, just a reminder to keep that Martyr in check <3 xox"


          21. Grace Joy says:

            Hi, Wendy. Even being new here, I recognize the validity of HG’s concern about “Who would clean up the blood, broken nails and torn out hair” if he hosted a “get together for [his] tudorites … [with him] joining in [remotely] … at certain times during the trip.”

            What came to my mind reading your idea, before seeing HG’s astute consideration, was Agatha Christie’s 1939 book And Then There Were None (also Ten Little Indians. Both have screen adaptations). I’m not implying similar would or could happen, but the story’s excellent, nonetheless. From Wikipedia:

            “Eight people arrive on a small, isolated island off the Devon coast, each having received an unexpected personal invitation. They are met by the butler and cook-housekeeper, Thomas and Ethel Rogers, who explain that their hosts, Ulick Norman Owen & Una Nancy Owen, have not yet arrived, though they have left instructions.” It happens that the guests are systematically murdered, as per a poem (below). We don’t learn what actually happened until a written confession is found from the true architect, a man with “two contradictory impulses: a strong sense of justice and a savage bloodlust. He had satisfied both through his profession as a criminal judge, sentencing murderers to death following their trial. After receiving a diagnosis of a terminal illness, he decided to put into effect a private scheme to deal with a group of people he considered to have escaped justice.” He’d “written his confession and thrown it into the sea in a bottle in response to what he acknowledged to be his ‘pitiful human need’ for recognition.”

            Ten Little Indians

            Ten little Indian boys went out to dine;
            One choked his little self and then there were nine.
            Nine little Indian boys sat up very late;
            One overslept himself and then there were eight.
            Eight little Indian boys traveling in Devon;
            One said he’d stay there and then there were seven.
            Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks;
            One chopped himself in halves and then there were six.
            Six little Indian boys playing with a hive;
            A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.
            Five little Indian boys going in for law;
            One got in Chancery and then there were four.
            Four little Indian boys going out to sea;
            A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.
            Three little Indian boys walking in the zoo;
            A big bear hugged one and then there were two.
            Two Little Indian boys sitting in the sun;
            One got frizzled up and then there was one.
            One little Indian boy left all alone;
            He went out and hanged himself and then there were none.

          22. wensical says:

            Hello Grace Joy, thank you for your interesting thoughts about the potential “Tudorfest.” I will now have to find this book and read it!

            I remember my mother was an avid reader and one of her very favorite authors was Agatha Christie. She had multiple bookshelves full of her mystery novels. I can’t remember the one you are referring to but I’m sure she read it.

            I guess it’s never good to underestimate the power a narcissist has even at a distance! So, Tudorfest probably isn’t the best idea, lol.

            I’d still probably buy the ticket unfortunately! 🤦‍♀️

            I wonder which Indian I would be! Lol

          23. A Victor says:

            Wendy, I would definitely be the one that overslept…😴😭

            But then, I’m kind of with Joa on this one, better to stick to non-narc local options…😂

          24. Asp Emp says:

            Grace Joy, thank you for sharing the story. It was very interesting to read. The story ‘Lord of the Flies’; V for Vendetta film; song ‘Written in Scars’ by Jack Savoretti and HG’s Legacy spring to my mind as I read your comment.

            The ‘ten’ reminded me of HG’s ‘Dolus Malus’ article (I have just bookmarked it to read the comments on that thread).

          25. Violetta says:

            Grace Joy:

            I think this is less likely to turn into And Then There Were None than Strangers on a Train. After sufficient liquor has been imbibed, I can just imagine the conversations:

            “Now, Agnes, you’re going to shoot Myrtle’s cheating husband, and Myrtle, you’re going to push Hazel’s idiot of a middle manager out the window–”

            “No, Edna’s supposed to get Hazel’s manager. Myrtle’s going to sabotage the brakes on Helen’s obnoxious neighbor’s car.”

            “Oh, I’m looking at the old list. Now, who’s supposed to garotte the creep who was keeping Betty as his Dirty Little Secret?”

            “That’s already assigned to Agnes: Betty was cheating with Myrtle’s husband, and neither of them knew about the other.”

            “Oh, alright. Anybody want to take care of my 4th-grade P.E. teacher?”

          26. Violetta says:

            Savoy Truffle:

            Would TudorFest feature a funnel cake stand and a Mehndi booth?
            How about one stadium for Prime ticket-holders with talented narc performers (Depeche Mode or Elton John headlining, of course), another for less talented narcs (Tay-Tay, anyone?) to entertain the Secondaries, and a stadium for a Roman Circus featuring Katie Price and Madonna, so Tertiaries can watch them battle over whose plastic surgery results are most ridiculous?

            There would be Commemorative t-shirts, of course.

      2. Rebecca says:


        1. Rebecca says:

          HG, I was laughing at your, “Cancel? Cancel? What heresy is this?” Comment

      3. lickemtomorrow says:

        Hahaha, HG. Definitely heresy. Who would dare cancel their membership?

        TS, I’ll make room for you in the dungeon as necessary x

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:


          You’re in the dungeon?! Again?!

          How come I never get sent to the dungeon?! I’ve been wanting to go for ages just for the free tattoo!

          Fine, I’m going to sit on the naughty step and sing. All day. Loudly. Celine’s ‘Best Of’ compilation. Rap remix. Haha!

          Keep an eye open for Violetta, she’s usually in there as well.


          1. lickemtomorrow says:

            I was preparing to be sent down and maybe have a chat with John McClane (aka Bruce Willis) minus the camera so no selfies I’m afraid 😛

            The tattoos are free?! Well, I never … what kind of punishment is giving out free tattoos? x I’ve already got a HG tattoo 😉

            LOL, I love your idea for being banished! Ugh, a Rap remix might be better … stick with the warbling. Ha!

            Oh, Violetta and I have been discussing Adele and so it’s time in the dungeon well spent for now <3

            The other thing, I still haven't had time to follow up on the last two girls from Tinder Swindler, become a YT member on HG's channel and gear up for the Livestream. I think I need some time in the dungeon just to get things done! x

          2. Rebecca says:

            What about some really annoying songs like, “the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round” lol Going to be really annoying…*evil laugh* and *snort*

          3. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Rebecca, I actually sang in one of the live chats for Tinder Swindler this evening. HG just rose above me haha!

            Wheels on the bus is an excellent suggestion. Also,

            “ I know a song that’ll get on your nerves, do dah, do dah,
            I know a song that’ll get on your nerves, do dah do dah day.
            I know a song that’ll get on your nerves do dah, do dah,
            ( you get the general idea!)

            My brother in law taught my kids that once. Then conducted as they sang it. He’s such an arse !

          4. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Haha yep, free tattoos and breathing. Works for HG, works for us, if we ever get in there of course!

            I know, I listened to the breakdown of Simon this morning, but I’m home schooling today so can’t sit and fully concentrate on the next video just yet. I absolutely loved the first, it is ram packed with information, I need to play it a few times and take notes. Have a few questions prepared for the livestream but need to think a little more about that too. I’m loving HG being around more, there’s so much fascinating new material to get stuck into. I’m having a lovely time!

            Apart from physics class work today. Not enjoying the physics, at all!


          5. lickemtomorrow says:

            TS, homeschooling must be getting really old at this stage! Hopefully just a temporary measure x

            HG’s videos are jam packed with information and I never thought of taking notes in order to formulate questions for the Livestream, but that’s a great idea. There will always be something I miss and I noticed this time round I missed the marks on Leviev’s back when watching the film. That seems pretty significant and I don’t know why it didn’t make a greater impression at the time, so HG’s video alerted me to that. But I’ll also miss things in HG’s videos at times, like the Valentine Venom and the fact his nemesis was a mid-range narcissist. It really hit home when listening again this time.

            You sound like you’re having a lovely time 🙂 I agree, lots of great material and plenty of HG to satiate the appetite for the Ultra xox

          6. Violetta says:


            I take great umbrage (not Dolores) at your criticism of “The Wheels on the Bus.” It is a great favorite among toddlers, and I have no intention of dropping it from my repertoire. It has both sound effects and hand gestures.

          7. Joa says:

            I laughed at the indignation at the possibility of cancellation, heresy and dungeons. Thank you for this conversation 🙂

            LET, it is even worse me. I still haven’t read any of the 4 HG books, I bought in December! This is sacrilege!

            And I know, that I still haven’t replied to two of your posts from November, which I still can’t reach, because there are new, new and still new…

            And I don’t watch anything about celebrities and famous people, but it’s a choice, not a lack of time.

            I am sorry for my misconduct 🙂

          8. lickemtomorrow says:

            Joa, I’ve still got books to read as well! Some I started, but I wasn’t in the headspace to continue. I was still in the early aftermath of ensnarement and it hurt me too much to realize how I had been duped. Also how he had done that. Cut and dried, or logical, explanations don’t go well with high ET sometimes.

            Sacrilege indeed! Now that you have confessed expect a roar of indignation also, and if you hear the rattling of keys then try to wipe the smile off your face 🙂

            I’m having trouble keeping up, too, so no worries about any pending replies. My responses are not always posted immediately as HG has other affairs to attend to as well. I was afraid I would appear rude at one stage as people thought I had not replied, but he reassured me that was not the case x

            I get caught up in some of the fascination with celebs and famous people, but not all, and only because I am intrigued by their situation. I’m not one for gossip usually, but if I see an interesting dynamic at play then I will want to understand it better and so I will join the conversation.

            Apology due to HG, not me <3 I guess you'll know the outcome soon enough!

          9. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Homeschooling was just one day. Schools closed here yesterday because we were under a storm warning. It’s funny though, during COVID I found all those weeks of homeschooling tough, really tiring. I didn’t like having to play the role of teacher / slave driver and mum at the same time. Then, when they went back to school, I chastised myself that maybe I hadn’t made the most of having them home. I wanted to rewind, do things better, be better.

            So yesterday felt a bit like a gift. Just one day so I familiarised myself with the work, in case help was needed, I kept them on schedule, but was more relaxed about it. I enjoyed and appreciated the day and the trip down memory lane.

            I wonder sometimes which parts of my empathic school and cadres are lighting up in me and why. I do look back quite a lot.

            Yes, the marks on Simon’s back, I wondered about those too. Also, when they visited his familial home, I expected to find the IPPS there, not his mother. I had recognised these women as IPSS so where was the IPPS? The set up still confuses me a little.

            Yes, lots to listen and look forward to. Between the various platforms, HG’s material now occupies a lot of my free time. I still read too, but my TV watching is practically non existent! I was never big on TV anyway, but it is testimony to the fact that what HG produces is not only educational but also really interesting and entertaining to boot. You’re turning into a lifestyle HG!


          10. lickemtomorrow says:

            TS, how I understand that sense of wanting to rewind, to capture precious moments that at the time you were not able to appreciate because of other factors at play. I’m so glad you experienced the day as a gift, and it’s the beauty of hindsight coupled with a second chance, if you will. We fall foul of so many opportunities, not seeing them for what they are at the time. As you get older, you experience more of these moments. They have passed us by and we are never getting them back. We reflect on them with sadness, but thankfully new opportunities present themselves. We learn to grasp those rather than live with regret <3 You grasped your opportunity. Well done xox

            Those elements of our empathic nature are intriguing when it comes to how we experience things and reflect on them. It's always challenging to understand how our mind and heart works in different situations and why.

            Simon's set up was interesting and his mother said she hadn't seen him since he turned 18. Did she know, was she aware? Unwittingly, HG's advice was inadvertently lived out in her experience. I found that part of story confusing as well, wasn't sure if the mother was truthful and thought each woman in his linear narcissistic game was the IPPS, until HG indicated otherwise. They are all being shelved! It doesn't seem there is an IPPS embedded, although it looks like there is one now. Dating apps have banned him, so maybe he has no choice 😛

            HG will like the thought of turning into a lifestyle 😉 Don't forget to sleep! xox

          11. A Victor says:

            LET, a narcissist with psychopathy needs less fuel than a straight up narcissist. That, tied with the no IPPS makes some sense, maybe they can get enough from a NPPS, IPSS and NPSS combo. My ex did this also, had family, friends, roommates or lived alone, always with other sex partners around, both before and after our marriage, no other IPPS besides me. Interesting, thank you for this observation.

          12. Joa says:

            LET, I “like” to mistreat myself and test my own reactions, so I read a lot here on high ET. As if I wanted to finish faster myself and fall to the very bottom. To end it and bounce back 🙂

            But I understand the pain you are writing about.

            Celebrities – sometimes I also get intrigued and read, but I don’t spend a lot of time on it. I’m not interested in pictures, shopping and a beauty pageant. I focus on character, behavior, if it is specific or appealingly non-standard in a good or bad way. I prefer people, who are “alive” around me or with whom I can interact.

          13. Isabelle says:

            Hello TS,

            I can picture you (more or less) singing Celine Dion’s repertoire at the top of your voice, after strapping HG to a chair so that he could not escape of course. But then you may never come out of the dungeon again, haha.

            You wrote in another post:
            ” I chastised myself that maybe I hadn’t made the most of having them home. I wanted to rewind, do things better, be better.”
            I could totally relate to this. In fact, I feel like this about some (many) moments of my kids’ childhood years. Now that they have both left home, it is easier to savour each good moment with them to the full when I see them. When children are still living at home, there is so much to deal with every day outside of home too that not being fully ‘present’ all the time is perfectly understandable. That is inevitable in the kind of societies we live in, unfortunately. All the more if you have to bring up your children on your own.

            Very pleased to see that you seem to be doing great, TS.
            (In case you do not get the notifications from DC, like me: I have left a reply to you there – just to let you know. There is no request in this. No strings attached, that’s the new me, haha!)

          14. Joa says:

            TS, LET, you have written very beautiful things here about contact with children.

            So much is slipping through my fingers…

          15. Violetta says:


            (My autocorrect keeps trying to call you Joan. Bad autocorrect! Bad, bad autocorrect!)

            You’ll get to your HGT library when you get to it. There are books I devoured in about a day (Sitting Target, Sex and the Narcissist). There are others I go through sections at a time (Red Flag), partly because of the way information is arranged, and partly because unlike the first two paperbacks, I got both “flag” books in computer files, and my bloody system does automatic updates, closes everything, and then I have to try to remember where I was.

            Some material works better for me on audio: I first encountered “Crazed” as a recording, and sat laughing and crying with relief when I recognized the routine so many “experts” from my childhood put me through, because I was the designated “hyper kid.” Never mind that some kids were going home to alcoholic or molesting families; never mind that a few were little psychopaths, already torturing animals: I had the label.

            I’ve read it since then, but hearing it had an impact that encountering it first as a written piece would not, at least for me.

            Then there are the “flag” books, where being able to stop after an item on the list, mull over where I’ve seen it before, who used it, whether it worked on me or anybody else etc., is the most effective method of processing the material.

            And then there’s the “Harry’s Wife” series. I am learning just as I would with written material, but a lot of the benefit of the audio is simply that most of us have had a rotten few years, with the pandemic, lockdown, economic and professional collateral damage, long Covid, trying to homeschool or keep kids focused on distance learning, shortages, etc., and that’s just if you didn’t actually lose anyone to the disease. HG’s priceless delivery gives us the laugh we all need. The damage Wifey has been doing isn’t funny at all, but her pretensions and the misfires of her PR campaigns are rightly ridiculed.

            So whether you prefer your material in audio or written form, or whether you find that you get different things from each (sometimes I’ll revisit an article that I first heard as an audio, or vice versa, and find I focus on different aspects depending on the medium), you’re still getting information. HG might use a particular term, and I’ll go back to Sitting Target and see what he had to say about it there.

            You bought the books, and they aren’t going away. When you are prepared to tackle them, you will. Some of it can make for uncomfortable reading, but often it is reassuring: “Ha, I didn’t imagine this or that thing; so-and-sowas doing that!”

            Meanwhile, you’re here, where you not only get HG’s material, but you see how other Tudoristas apply it to our own situations with nasty exes, toxic co-workers, the passive-aggressive neighbor, and so on.

          16. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Joa, it sounds very much that you are in a similar stage to me in terms of your daughter still being at home, but that creeping awareness that she won’t be at home for ever. It is very much the feeling that they are slipping through your fingers.

            You reminded me of a song I listened to years ago when I was an ABBA fan. A lesser well known album of theirs is called ‘The Visitors’. On that album there is a song entitled ‘Slipping through my fingers’. It encapsulates perfectly how I feel about my kids getting older. It’s extremely sad, so, if you do listen to it, just choose your time carefully.

            I have just read the responses from LET and Isabelle, I have taken comfort from their thoughts, I hope you do too.


          17. Truthseeker6157 says:

            LET, Isabelle,

            Thank you for these comments. You do fully understand how I’m thinking. You both pointed out that in the future the time spent can be equally precious. Without the day to day chores, tasking and chasing I can see how the time spent with older children can be distilled down into less but high quality time. Life is a distraction, routines, schedules, deadlines and you don’t have that to contend with when they leave home.

            Thank you both for pointing this out. It really makes sense and it means a lot to me. I think I see my kids leaving as an end, and I’m not seeing anything beyond that end. It just goes dark. So I dread the end. You have opened my eyes to the fact that there is something beyond them leaving. Different, rather than less precious.

            LET, yes, I found the absence of the IPPS confusing the whole way through when I was watching it. When I saw the mother rather than the IPPS at his apartment I thought that we had a NIPPS, but if she is correct in her statement of not having seen Simon since he was 18, then she isn’t a NIPPS. I am wondering whether the other personality aspect of Simon explains this ( trying not to reveal video content here). If it does, then that has very interesting implications for other individuals of a similar personality type. (!)

            I think the new girlfriend is just a prop to show “See! I am a nice guy. I can do a normal relationship. I’m not ripping this one off so the others are just fantasists and liars.” I’m not even convinced she is a full time girlfriend, so she might be an IPPS or possibly another IPSS. He’s an interesting character in this respect.

            Isabelle, your comment about me tying HG to a chair and singing at him did make me chuckle, until I realised that HG would say,“You would not get close enough to confine me to a chair TS”.
            I’ve already been triangulated with a walk in wardrobe and you were triangulated with a fridge ( haha!). I don’t need triangulating with a chair as well!

            I’m staying on the naughty step instead!

            Thank you both for helping me reign in my emotions and for reminding me there is more beyond ‘the end’



          18. Rebecca says:


        2. Rebecca says:


          Anyone who cancels their membership gets a visit from HG. Lol Maybe I shouldn’t say that, people might want that. Lol Nevermind, disregard last announcement, carry on, carry on! Lmao

    3. Janet Baldocchi says:

      You need a laptop I just signed up -I ipads don’t work

  13. Janet Baldocchi says:

    Sorry for the repetition – but where is the sign up? The announcement is great…i would like to spend my money And I’m sure you’d like to take my money

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It appears, rather foolishly, Youtube won’t let you join from a phone or iPad, you have to do so from a laptop or desktop or try this workaround

      1. Janet says:

        I signed up for the first level- let’s see

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Jolly good.

        2. NarcAngel says:


          Curious as to what you will you be using as a yardstick.

          1. Janet says:

            My schedule is very dynamic and sometimes it can’t be changed and only so much time. I want to see how this works out . Don’t know until I try and see what I get out of it.

  14. WhoCares says:

    Wow, Just wow, HG. The surprises just keep coming…
    I think this is a great opportunity.

  15. A Victor says:

    Already joined! Super excited!

    1. Joa says:

      I smiled 🙂

      Every excitement in life, is worth its weight in gold 🙂

      1. A Victor says:

        I agree Joa!! I love when I’m super excited, that’s the best!! 🤗

        1. Rebecca says:

          Me too! I bounce around like a kid lol

          1. A Victor says:

            Rebecca, I might do a little hop up and down and tiny hand clap, but most of my “super excited” happens in my head and on my face! Not a lot shows outwardly, probably because I am not much Geyser, but it is a great feeling on the inside!! Sometimes I have wondered how my ex or my parents got much fuel from me at all!

        2. Joa says:

          AV, I can get excited even with prepared sorrel soup and liver for dinner (example from today) 🙂

          This is a real drama 🙂

          1. A Victor says:

            Joa, hahaha, thank you! My dinner drama for this blue moon is fulfilled!

          2. Joa says:

            Blue moon?

          3. A Victor says:

            Yes, I Googled it once but don’t remember the details, I think they have once or twice a year so most? It’s used to mean something that doesn’t happen often.

          4. A Victor says:

            Happen* once or twice a year at* most. Also, I had used the phrase on another thread referring to how’s often I apparently need drama with dinner, not often, and never is even better.

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