Will Smith : Erosion of Emotional Empathy

251 thoughts on “Will Smith : Erosion of Emotional Empathy

  1. passiel says:

    HG, my favorite Narcissist, once again you’ve given me something to think about.

  2. Rebecca says:


    I avoid parallel parking at all cost. I would park my car in a normal parking spot and walk back. Lol

    1. JB says:

      Rebecca, so would I! Been successfully avoiding it for 25 years! 😇 😂

  3. NarcAngel says:

    Just wow. Like HG said – grow a pair. There are other types of humour besides tired DAD jokes and knock knock jokes. Concentrating on on what Chris said is merely looking for an excuse for Will and guess why that is? See Ricky Gervais last time hosting the Golden Globes. Absolutely scathing and yet it was his 5th time hosting. FIFTH time because his type of humour appeals to a LOT of people. Being offended (the current social sport) is easy if you try hard enough. It still does not give anyone the right to assault another physically. If we condone slapping people every time we perceive offence there will be nobody left standing. We teach kids to use their words for a reason.

  4. Asp Emp says:

    Isn’t it absolutely fascinating to see the different perceptions of others?

    Having read through the Will Smith series (absolutely fabulously done, HG, thank you x), I did actually wonder whether those with no Co-Dependent as part of their empath make-up would ‘see’ it from the perspective of those that do have the Co-Dependent cadre. It is also about personal childhood experiences. A Co-D is not created through choice, for some Co-Ds, it was ‘forced’ upon them. Some of which, are from birth.

    It also depends what could be constituted as workplace harassment. A child bullied at school, abused at home would not necessarily take it ‘lightly’ when they are being bullied as an adult. It is even worse when it is carried out by non-narcissists.

    Does anyone know what actually took place prior (days, hours) before the Oscars even started? Do we know whether Jada, Will and Chris met up any time before the Oscars took place? Do we know whether Chris joked about something similar prior to the Oscars event and Will said something like ‘don’t even say anything at the Oscars in your speech’. Those 3 people being ‘friends’ for around 25 to 30 years, they know each other. They know what makes each other ‘tick’ after that many years.

    ‘Mitigating circumstances’, even winding someone up prior to a very public event can be classed as harassment too.

    Even in 2016, Chris did something similar about Jada prior to the Oscars starting. It was “discussed” and Chris said he’d not do it again. But he did.

    In my view, that deserved a ‘smack’. Yes, I agree it was not the place or the time to do it. Yet if an empath with severely eroded empathy has been through what Will has been through – for a life-time has been continuously ‘prodded’ (goaded etc), then nobody should really be that surprised that he exploded with instant anger.

    Will does not know it yet, that he is married to a narcissist and has been around them all his life. When he does, that is, IF he does, he will, for a time, feel worse before he can start his journey of ‘re-programming’. Will is highly intelligent yet is he emotionally strong enough? That is the question. Thankfully, he has the Super empath school which would aid him. The Contagion school could be / may be a weakness in Will’s case. Why do I suggest this? His ET / LT is totally out of sync, so he is not even ‘tuning’ into his intuition – which is currently ‘buried’ under all the narcissistic influences.

    So. Who is provoking who? Who is bullying who? Who is the true victim in all of this?

    These days, people can be too quick – responding with their emotions rather than thinking about it.

    Interestingly, Chris Rock’s forthcoming gigs ticket prices have sky-rocketed since the Oscar event. I know someone mentioned this on KTN and I read about it outside the blog and thought, hmmm, who gains financially (lotsa money coming in), ‘free’ publicity (attracting attention via someone else’s misfortune – the Oscars incident). Logically speaking, this is selfishness, greed, lacking empathy of a ‘friend’ of 30 years. Is ‘envy’ present? Yes, I would suggest it is. Will was awarded an Oscar. Why was Will’s moment ‘spoiled’ by such a provoking comment about his wife?

    Mitigating circumstances. People are not necessarily looking at what happened BEFORE the Oscars incident.

    HG’s time and effort into producing the series on Will and Jada (and many other people) is educational material. HG is also ‘testing’ people on their personal ‘learning’ journeys.

    Isn’t it absolutely fascinating to see the different perceptions of others?

    1. Joa says:

      I like, what you wrote Asp Emp.
      Much more balanced than mine, ha ha ha 🙂 And two additional aspects.

      1. Asp Emp says:

        Thank you, Joa, much appreciate you acknowledging it 🙂

  5. BC30 says:

    Of course now I feel bad that I know Will feels bad about what went down. lol What is wrong with me?

    1. Joa says:

      He can handle it. He’s a grown man.

      It is a pity, that his wife will “ride” him at home and talk him nonsense, what he is.

  6. Eve1972 says:

    The whole thing was fake lol and people need to be more concerned about wills disturbing relationship with his son

    1. HG Tudor says:


    2. Rebecca says:

      It’s not fake, Chris’ reaction was genuine, you can hear it in his voice.

  7. MP says:

    Hello Leigh, I wondered at first too. But I thought when Chris Rock responded to Will Smith yelling at him to get his wife’s name out of his mouth with “I’m going to, ok?”, I thought there was no way any if the narcissists I knew would be as agreeable as Chris Rock to someone who just slapped them. Chris Rock also did follow through and has still not made any jokes about Jada. I thought that was the biggest give away that C Rock is not a narc.

    1. Another Cat says:

      Hello MP, I though the same about Chris Rock as you. He seems like a Normal to me. Only HG knows.

      Hope you are doing fine with family and everything!

  8. Alexissmith2016 says:

    Thank goodness for that! He’s not an N.

  9. vandenboss says:

    Could the hair loss be fake ? Like instead of hair extensions trying an other approach .An attempt to draw attention and play the strong woman? lol who comes out on top unless someone makes a joke because thats what he does for a living.

    1. Truthseeker6157 says:


      That was my first thought too. I don’t believe that she is suffering hair loss through stress at all.

      Similarly, the magical thinking surrounding her claiming to know she was pregnant immediately after climax. Call me cynical but if that was the claim, and she was in fact pregnant then I would be thinking that she was pregnant before that encounter and even before that weekend. So why the drama? Distraction. Bring on the drama and distract from the real issue you want to hide. I think she was already pregnant by someone else. Will would only remember the drama, he wouldn’t think beyond that. If Will was in devaluation at that point, it’s likely that the sex was spasmodic. Yet there they are, going at it hell for leather, no protection, her on top, and she instantly creates about how devastated she is to be pregnant? Nah, sorry, not buying it, already pregnant via someone else.

    2. Bubbles says:

      Dearest Vandenboss,
      I honestly questioned the hair loss being fake as well.
      A comment I read from someone who deals with Alopecia mentioned, even shaved, there would be bald patches. Jada’s head ‘doesn’t appear’ to have bald spots, hmmmmm 🤔
      Interesting, as she definitely takes the lead and represents herself as an extremely strong women as you say …..bit like GI JANE 🤣😂🤣😂
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      1. Violetta says:

        There are several kinds of alopecia. I had telogen effluvium after I broke my foot: half my hair fell out, grew back but not as thick, and the thin spots were pretty much distributed all over my head with peach fuzz where it was recovering. People who’ve had surgery report similar symptoms.

        Melissa Etheridge had hers fall out after chemo, and just went ahead performing at the Grammies looking like a billiard ball, because she wanted to be able to rock out freely without worrying about the wig slipping. She nailed it. See it: it’s on yt.

        In alopecia areata, the hair falls out without apparent cause, generally in round clumps. It may be linked to stress, but the hair doesn’t always grow back. Some people lose even eyebrows and eyelashes. It is thought to be an autoimmune disorder.

        Traction alopecia is linked to tight braids, weaves, over-processing. This is the kind Jada most probably has, if she has any. She does not exhibit the signs of areata, although that’s the term being thrown around.

        Btw, for a truly Freudian moment, do a search for a recent photo of Will’s mother.

        1. BC30 says:

          I suffered alopecia areata after my first divorce. With treatment it eventually grew back. I have not had a reoccurrence in over 18 years.

        2. Bubbles says:

          Dearest Violetta,
          Thank you very much for that information
          There’s a close up pic of her head at the Oscar’s, it just looks like it’s shaved all over no bald spots at all
          Will’s mother’s head is shaved as well, how come? 😱 Are they all going out in sympathy for Jada?
          Narcs are known for being fake, be interesting to see, maybe time will tell haha
          Maybe I’m just being suspicious 🤨 as usual haha
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Violetta says:


            I suspect his Mom overdid the weaves and braids when she was younger and also suffered traction alopecia at some point. I actually think Jada might be copying his mother!

          2. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Violetta,
            Narcs copy, it’s what they do, why am I not surprised?
            The weasel bought a car that looked similar to mine, he went out and bought the same products I had, he mirrored so much of what I had or did, pathetic isn’t it ?
            Nothing about this surprises me haha
            Thank you lovely, you’ve been a wealth of information ☺️
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    3. WiserNow says:

      The claim of alopecia is fake, I think. Jada doesn’t show any patches of hair missing and her hair is growing back evenly all over. It doesn’t look like alopecia at all. Alopecia has round or oval patches where the hair has completely fallen out and will not grow back.

      If you look at her Instagram post where she claims to have shaved her head because of alopecia, she shows a small rectangular bald area and says that is why she needed to shave her head. I think it’s more likely that all the different hair styles, extensions, colouring, treatments etc damaged her hair and she shaved it to remove the damage and ‘start again’.

  10. Witch says:

    Damn am I the only one who thought the joke was funny?

    1. BC30 says:


      1. Witch says:


        You’re right cause even Will found it funny

    2. A Victor says:

      @Witch, I read somewhere else that not only did many people feel the joke wasn’t that devastating but also there would likely be many who would take being compared to GI Jane as a compliment, a strong, independent woman. I thought it was in poor taste but I think most of the humor Hollywood people do to each other is in poor taste, but they’re there, making millions, they need to expect it to a degree. I don’t think Chris Rock shouldn’t have been slapped over it, he could’ve been told it was hurtful and asked to issue a public apology. This would’ve been a better outcome for everyone except Jada.

      1. Witch says:

        @A Victor

        I took it as lighthearted banter and I think the comment was neutral… neither an insult or a compliment, just an observation that Jada had a buzz cut like GI Jane and Jada is an actor … so GI Jane 2, init
        I don’t think it’s anything deeper than that … people reading too much into it.
        it wasn’t Shakespeare, shit!

        1. A Victor says:

          Yes, I can see that too, that’s a good way to look at it. I quit watching the Oscars when my oldest went to college, she was the only one who enjoyed them. She’s 35 now so it’s been a while. Part of the reason was the jokes, not all terrible but more negativity than I like to endure. I do like seeing what they wore though, it is fun in that regard. I have appreciate your comments about this situation.

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dearest A Victor,
            I’m the same as you lovely AV. We don’t watch the Oscars, Grammys and all those other mind dulling events.
            Three or so hours of total boringness only highlights the commercial breaks to be more exciting. Fake thank you speeches to match their fake faces and bodies and as you said the jokes leave a lot to be desired and voted by those in-house, in most cases. There are very few times I have actually agreed with the winners and the most worthy miss out. Narcissists basking in their moment of glory ……again!

            Highlights of these cringeworthy events are always on the news, however the Will/Chris debacle is getting massive overtime currently and will (no pun intended haha ) rear it’s ugly head forever more.

            The fashion is there just to take your mind off how dull the event really is haha

            The Oscar features a knight gripping a sword posed above a reel of film to represent a “crusader” of the industry. I think perhaps it’s time for an revamp of the little ‘man’ to represent current progression. Also, why not let the public vote, we are the ones who pay to see their acting, singing or performing. ?

            Note:- I’ve read where actors total acting time can be 6-8 mins for an entire movie.

            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          2. A Victor says:

            Hi Bubbles,

            6-8 minutes of acting for an entire movie?? How is that even possible? Wow, they deserve nothing if that’s the case.

            The public should be the ones voting, I’ve never understood this either.

            I hope the slap situation dies down and is buried forever, except as HG is using it to teach, that part is very good. Other than that, not hearing about it again is just fine.

            Thank you for putting into words my exact thinking on the entire thing! You nailed it. 😎

          3. Bubbles says:

            Dearest A Victor,
            Awww, 🤩 thank you AV
            Yes, I was surprised at the actual amount of acting time when I read it, but when you think about it and add it up, big stars small parts, cameo roles, makes sense.
            I should’ve gone into acting if I’d have known that, most probably end up as an extra no one could see with no speaking part 😂🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

            Ps thank you lovelies, I found my comment, phew, 😅you can all stop looking

  11. NarcAngel says:

    The whole other issue of what constitutes “humor” and the fact that comedians are not generally known for, or hired for, being PC aside, CR was engaged by the Academy to perform, and while he was doing so, became the recipient of a physical act against his person. To me, that amounts to violence in the workplace and as such, should have zero tolerance. Try that at your workplace if someone insults you, whether you or anyone else thinks it was warranted.

    Isn’t focusing on what CR said rather than the response to it seen as victim blaming? If anyone here on the blog told of being slapped as a result of something they said, not much investigation into what was said would be tolerated before the victim blaming flags would be waving. Why not the same consideration for CR?

    If WS thought the joke inappropriate, he need only have called out (as he did subsequently) his displeasure and would likely have garnered much more support. Instead, he chose the elevated gesture of physicality and humiliation in front of a huge audience as response (and wasn’t humiliation what he was supposedly offended by in the first place while he sat laughing?) This concept of wrapping physical violence to another with gauze and calling it chivalry is huge emotional thinking and goes in the wrong direction to the goal of tolerance we are subjected to at every turn and trying to teach our children. JP is no wallflower, she spouts her independence and female “strength” at every opportunity. She hardly needed a man to make known her offence to the statement if she wanted to address it. That he chose to do it (whatever the reason) was his poor judgment and he is ultimately responsible for it and any repercussion.

    “Love will make you do crazy things”.

    No Will. What you perceive to be “love” has caused you to do things that you admit by using that statement are “crazy”. That does not mean they are, or should be, accepted by others, or that you can use that “love” to excuse bad behaviour in an attempt to elevate yourself in another’s eyes.

    1. Truthseeker6157 says:


      I agree. I think what’s interesting here is that we have two very clear ‘victims’. Will Smith, currently ensnared, victim of a narcissist. Chris Rock, paid to host the Oscars, victim of physical abuse at the hand of Will Smith.

      It could be argued, that due to his ensnarement and lengthy devaluation, Will Smith is not responsible for his actions. So who is responsible? Technically the narcissist has two victims in WS and by extension, CR.

      In my view, this is a clearer example of the dynamic with Harry’s Wife, Harry and the Queen. Harry and the Queen are both victims of Harry’s Wife. It is the narcissist that is the source of the behaviour. Remove the narcissist and WS wouldn’t have hit CR. Remove the narcissist and Harry wouldn’t have attacked his family repeatedly through the media.

      It sounds simple, place all responsibility for all the bad behaviour squarely at the feet of the narcissist. That doesn’t sit well with me though either. WS still had a choice and took the decision to hit CR. Harry still had a choice and took the decision to attack his family. To absolve both Harry and WS of all accountability equates to them having zero power and zero free will, it equates to viewing them as mindless automatons. That is a dangerous path to start down in my view.

      In my mind I prefer to take responsibility for my own poor behaviour. I can accept that that behaviour might be stress induced, the erosion of emotional empathy, or partially a result of the devaluing behaviour meted out against me by a narcissist, but it’s still my behaviour, my free will and it belongs to me. In some instances, perhaps I just behave poorly, no narcissist involved at all! But at least I am willing to admit to it. I’ll say that I behaved badly. In this way I have control over my past and my future behaviour. No one ‘makes’ me do anything.

      Agree. Poor behaviour does not have to be accepted by others, certainly not at that point in time, whilst that same behaviour is taking place. I don’t believe poor behaviour should be excused at all, whether it is issued by empath, normal, or narc. I believe that it can be forgiven, by some, not all, when placed in context of external stressors and only when the individual has taken full responsibility for the behaviour.

      I don’t believe this equates to victim shaming or a lack of understanding about the corrupting influence of the narcissist. I believe it’s one way of looking at ensnarement, and at the shit and derision that takes place on a near daily basis in the wider world.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        That’s the caution. The longer one stays involved with a narcissist the greater the chance that one will be pushed into doing something resulting in a similar (although likely less globally witnessed) mortifying situation. The people in their world will witness their action and judge them for it because they do not have the ability as we do here to analyze the impetus behind it that is the narcissist. They will find themselves standing alone and be held responsible for their actions and any consequence resulting. Not the narcissist.

        1. BC30 says:

          100% 100% 100%

          The longer one stays involved with a narcissist the greater the chance that one will be pushed into doing something resulting in a similar (although likely less globally witnessed) mortifying situation.

          1. HG Tudor says:


        2. Truthseeker6157 says:


          Yes and that’s the real unfairness of it all I think. WS takes all of the heat, his wife comes away unscathed. It’s the empath that ends up looking or feeling like the crazy one.

          It’s impossible to beat a defence mechanism that guarantees control is obtained even if that means resorting to withdrawal. Escape is the only option for the empath but to escape there first needs to be some trigger, some pause in ET, that allows for the realisation that there is a need to leave. I don’t see that happening for Will Smith. In this sense he is very much a cautionary tale.

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dearest NarcAngel and Truthseeker,
            I couldn’t agree more, you raised excellent in-depth pointers
            As you mentioned, the narcissist always ends up the winner and the underdog ends up the crazy one.
            Thank you both, I always look forward to your thoughts
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          2. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Hello Bubbles x.

            Aww thank you for your lovely comment, you made me smile as I am sitting on the bed waiting for my hair colour to take. I have high hopes for my handiwork!


          3. Joa says:

            TS, I hope the effect is successful.

            Three months ago, for the second time in my life, I decided to give myself a fringe + shredded (graduated) hair. I act quite fast: impulse – reaction – execution. The hairstyle came out nice, but it doesn’t fit my face at all. What I knew very well after a trial from about 10 years ago!

            Luckily my hair grows very fast and it’s better, but still looking in the mirror, I can see Queen’s choir from “Bohemian Rhapsody”, ha ha ha 🙂

            About three more months and it will be fine 🙂

            Then I crack myself a hot blonde, ha ha ha 🙂 (I had all the colors, but never this one).

            What color and how did you do?

          4. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Well my hair’s still on, so I call that a win! haha!

            Nothing too exciting, I had highlights a few weeks ago and there were a few that I wanted to break up a little bit. Mission accomplished.

            I’m a coward with my hair, it’s long so I’m very careful not to colour it too often and have to stay close to my natural colour.

            Fringes, haha, yep, been there done that. Cut it, grow it out, cut it, grow it out.

            When I go grey I’ll go blonde and have a choppy bob. Might as well go for it at that point!

            I can imagine you being quite adventurous and having fun with your hair. Edgy, I see you as being edgy. 😊


          5. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Truth,
            Well done for giving yourself a home hair colour. I tried it once, total disaster haha
            My hairdresser (who pretends he’s not gay , but really is) pampers me, supplies me with copious copies of the latest magazines, Hello, Home Beautiful n such, a strong hot coffee n bikky, then proceeds tells me how gorgeous I look when I pay him 🤣
            I’m sure you have mastered your hair colouring to perfection, as you are gorgeous one 🤩
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          6. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Haha, you have great faith in me. I do touch ups, that’s my limit pretty much. A bit like the little paint pen that you use for stone chips on your car. I’d use that but I wouldn’t respray it!

            There is something very indulgent about visiting the hairdressers, I really enjoy it too. I’d invest in my hair and skin care before overspending on clothes. You wear your hair and skin every day, they have to be right! (gawd, that’s my mum in me there haha!)

            I bet your hairdresser is a hoot. I had a hairdresser called David who fits that description. He was very direct, vain, extremely sarcastic, honest and hysterically funny. Heart of gold, it just took a while to find it!


          7. Joa says:

            Now, attention… tadam, tadam… last time I was at the hairdresser… probably about 35 years ago, ha ha ha 🙂

            As a child.

            I can not stand this. I don’t like being touched by a stranger. I hate, when someone takes care of me in this way and devotes their time to me.

            I am the best hairdresser and beautician myself 🙂 It’s nothing difficult, it’s a matter of practice.


            My friends decided to “force” me to taste the “heavenly rest” and for my 40th birthday they bought me a SPA weekend, massage and something else, that I do not know about. I really tried to force myself to please them, but couldn’t. For me, it would be torture 😀 Wasted weekend and a complete decline of strength. So, I quietly handed the voucher back to my mom, ha ha ha. She loves, when people run around her, she was happy 🙂
            Unfortunately, my friends know me well, so they asked the control question after some time and I did not dare to lie, I was immediately confused. Fortunately, they didn’t take offense, but laughed at me and mocked me funny 🙂


            TS, I went crazy with my hair during my teenage years, it was then red, blue, green and orange, dreadlocks and other variations.

            Now, like you, long or semi-long hair (if they piss me off, I cut it) and put the paint in a natural tone. It is enough.

            I have an aversion to short hair. My mother didn’t feel like combing us and as children we had to wear short hair like boys.

            And when we grew up and insisted on long hair – it had to be smoothly combed and ponytailed.


            I like it best, when the wind blows my hair strongly and the strands caress my face…

          8. Joa says:

            I forgot to add – the most important thing is that your hair should be washed every day and always smell. Yes, I enjoy it.

          9. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Truth,
            Mine’s a Greek God bodybuilder, 🏋🏻‍♂️that should sum it up in a nutshell

          10. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Got it haha!


          11. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I cut my long hair once. I cut it to a very straight sharp bob. I loved it, for a day or two, then that was that, I started growing it back down. I didn’t feel like me, at all. My clothes looked different, I felt older, more grown up. I felt like someone else.

            My mum didn’t make me keep mine short, but my school made the girls tie their hair up. Bunches, braids, ponytail, whatever, but never to be left down. Since leaving school my hair is always down, apart from the gym or by the pool on holiday. I feel semi naked and restricted with my hair up.

            Me too, I like to feel the weather through my hair, and I love clean smelling aromatherapy shampoo. Nothing sweet, always clean. I struggle with sweet smells. A sweet smelling shower gel or candle makes me nauseous.

            The only exception is the scent of sweet pea flowers. I absolutely love that smell.

            I love a man to smell good. Not overpowering, not perfumed, just a clean masculine smell that you catch when you get up really close. I still have never smelt Creed. I keep meaning to, just out of curiosity. Given that HG calculates every detail, Im curious to smell what he considers to be the most addictive fragrance. I imagine it to be a bit warmer, a touch sweeter than Issey Miyake. I need to get a tester and see how close I got, haha!


          12. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Truth,
            I luv Issy, one of my favourites, it’s definitely a step up from Youth Dew, Tabu and 4711 back in my heyday 😂
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          13. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Youth Dew, what a name!

            I remember in school all the girls discovered The Body Shop at the same time. You’d walk in and the smell of White Musk near enough knocked you over.

            Better than the smell of wet blazer though. There’s a stomach turner right there haha!

          14. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Truth,
            Youth Dew is Estée Lauder, quite strong back in my day, ( the lady in fragrances was a friend) it was all the rage. Funny how your tastes change over the years.

            As long as I don’t smell like an old old person, talcum powder or a sprinkle of wee, I’m extremely happy. 🤣

            I do enjoy the body shop, I can always sniff out vanilla anywhere👃 😂
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          15. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Speaking of a sprinkle of wee. My grandma had Chanel Number 5. It smelt heavenly on her. When I tried it, it was vile. Same on my mum. It smelt like cat wee. That was the description we came up with.

            Everything smelt amazing on my grandma. I think it has something to do with the oils in a person’s skin. My grandma obviously had Chanel friendly skin, me on the other hand….

            I need to find a friend who works on a perfume counter, samples galore. I was in the airport the other day, I tried a Gucci Flora, I think that was the name, in a pink square bottle. Gorgeous, loved it, I don’t usually test anything floral but this smelt amazing. Me and my daughter felt the need to test it properly, twice, just to be doubly sure!

            And, they had a massive Creed display. Every single Creed variant, oh yes they did! I sauntered over nonchalantly, thinking secretly that now was the time, now, finally, I would smell the essence of power that is my Lord and Master.

            Empty. I swear to God, every single tester was completely empty. So empty in fact that even when I sniffed the top (hard) I couldn’t catch the scent. That might have been my Gucci to be fair.

            Story of my life that. Build me up, knock me down. How very apt!


          16. lickemtomorrow says:

            TS, just had to drop in here after seeing your comment.

            I wear Chanel No.5 <3 Your Grandma had good taste x

            One morning, not long ago, I had to call into my eldest daughter's house before attending a meeting to pick something up, but it was early and everyone was still in bed. While I was at the meeting she texted me a lovely msg and said "the house smells like Chanel No.5". She didn't know I was dropping in, but i guess that was my calling card 🙂 I didn't put my perfume on there, and had driven some distance as well, so didn't expect her to even know I'd been. I promise I didn't overdo the application!

            Youth Dew was a favourite of mine many moons ago and when I was with "first love" guy <3 It will always remind me of him – talk about everpresence x

            I am laughing hard at you investigating the Creed display, TS 😛 Foiled again!

            Dust yourself off there, girl. You'll get another chance xox

          17. Bubble# says:

            Dearest Truth,
            I used to love Diorissimo along with Chanel no 5
            Your skin changes with age and I like to adapt with the times
            My mum only wears Maroussia $12.99 from the Chemist, it lasts one year exactly, how plebeian 🤣
            My daughter is a blood hound and lets me know what’s stinks best on me after we go sampling all the perfumes and get high on the coffee beans after each whiff in the department stores
            Wee wee in definitely not on the list 😂
            I have never experienced Creed, I rather go out for dinner with the family and sample some good bottles of wine at those prices 😱🍷
            May your fragrance be divine as you lovely Truth …..huzzah 😂
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          18. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Perfume and make up counters are great bonding experiences for mothers and daughters I think. Neither myself or my daughter are really girly girls but lotions and potions, yep, we’re in!

            Thank you bubbles, And may you also find a fragrance that is as unique as you are! 😘


          19. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Truthseeker6157,
            Awww thank you gorgeous ☺️
            They broke the mould when they made me, I’m very ‘uniQ’…..😂
            One of me is definitely enough 😂🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          20. Truthseeker6157 says:


            ‘UniQ’ Now you sound like a girl band!

            I’ll be the sultry base playing one. I’m good at sultry.

            Hahaha. I’m so full of it!


          21. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Truth,
            I’m envisaging you then as a Norah Jones, Diana Krall type 🤩
            I’m more Florence Foster Jenkins style 🤣
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          22. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Great costumes but can’t sing? There’s many a superstar done very well from that approach haha! You can be in my band any day Bubbles!

            Did I just take ownership of the band there?! Got to watch the sultry ones!


        3. A Victor says:

          NA, thank you for this. This is why we GOSO/NC as soon as we know, don’t stick around and dabble. Sometimes they can be fun but that end result will happen even as NISS. I needed that today.

    2. Witch says:


      He should have been removed by security and not allowed to accept his Oscar himself.
      Chris did nothing wrong in my opinion, he was doing his job. I don’t agree with how Will was handled. He humiliated someone in front of millions and committed a crime in front of millions, he should have been removed and even arrested and let Chris decide whether or not to press charges.
      I feel so bad for Chris that he had to endure that experience with his attacker sitting right there and Jada laughing at him. Not cool at all

      1. A Victor says:

        @Witch, I agree with your comment. I hope there are consequences but there should’ve been immediate ones.

      2. Duchessbea says:

        Very much agree Witch. Always been a fan of Will Smith, thought he was a very down to earth, cool guy. Not any longer. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have shown their true – True Colours and when their masks dropped and everyone all around the world got to see who they both truly are – not nice people at all. Fake People. Jada’s reaction after Will hit Chris – Bad. Very Bad. It doesn’t matter how many apologies Will Smith or Jada Pinkett Smith come out publicly and say. Their true colours have been shown and won’t be forgotten by many, many people.

    3. Leigh says:

      Yes, what Will did is workplace harassment. Since your comment, we’ve also learned that Will was asked to leave the event and didn’t. The Academy knows they have to do something. There definitely will be consequences for his actions.

      1. Witch says:

        Asked to leave?
        He should have been made to leave either by walking out or being dragged out by security
        he was being a pussyclart because I guarantee there would be certain men he would have never done that to had they told that joke. He picked on someone he knew was unlikely to rock his jaw
        It’s like when you get those male narcs who target women but would never rumble with a man the same size – they know the risk

        1. Leigh says:

          Witch, I agree 100%. The Academy is culpable too. They should have made him leave not asked him to leave. I was merely pointing out that there were a lot of mistakes made that night.

        2. Rebecca says:

          I agree. I couldn’t see Will doing that to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson lol

      2. A Victor says:

        Leigh, I hope you’re right. I also wonder if Jada will disengage now. Even if not we know she’s using this to manipulate and draw fuel. I feel bad for him but he does need consequences.

        1. Leigh says:

          AV, Since Will Smith is painted black, that would mean that Jada is seeing all of his actions thru a black lens. My guess is she is not in favor of his action. She probably thinks it was an act of egoism. I believe he is already suffering consequences where she is concerned.

          1. A Victor says:

            Leigh, I believe you’re correct.

        2. Witch says:

          @A Victor
          She won’t disengage…
          Who’s going to marry her again?
          She’s been with Will for 20 plus years and people have seen what she is about… men will sleep with her but who else will put a ring on her finger and stay with her after they know what they know?
          That’s the disadvantage of being a female somatic narc… men will see her as “used up” “a slag”

          1. A Victor says:

            @Witch, I suppose you’re right. So instead he’ll be living with her, consequences I guess.

  12. Dori says:

    Hey HG,

    I wonder why it is worth for Will being married with Jada. They have an open marriage, he often commented about being unhappy with the situation. In his position (actor, rich, etc.) he would have a lot of chance to get someone who appreciates him. What is this about? Is it a Hollywood’s thing (gives more credit to be married), or is he afraid to leave or is is about money, or…?

    Thank you,


  13. Michelle says:

    I dunno HG, this rests on your speculation only. Nobody saw her speak to him, she was sitting opposite him so it would have been obvious and caught on camera. And regardless of what you say about their marriage (she is his second wife and has also had affairs), she’s just not the type to expect a man to get up to defend her honour. If anything, I suspect she wouldn’t have liked it – same as the party, a big display. The thing that looked so odd to me – and you hear it in the media, people felt gaslighted, like they couldn’t believe what they’d just seen – to the point where the audience gave him a standing ovation not long afterwards. Why? Because he changed character so quickly; from laughing to angry to calm to victim, and when he won the Oscar he barely looked at Jada, gave quick kiss then bounded on stage like a kid high on candy, gave very long emotional (and I thought narcissistic sounding) speech. Then he defies protocol to go back stage afterwards in order to sit back in audience and continue to make everyone feel very uncomfortable. Then he danced centre stage to his own music holding his oscar all night at the party. There is something very spoilt child about him. Looked like one of the most overt displays of narcissism I’d ever seen, and I think you’re wrong.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is based on my expert understanding of narcissists and how they behave, thus it is probable she behaved in the way I explained.

    2. alexissmith2016 says:

      I understand your thinking Michelle, but lets not forget someone has just upset his wife and so his emotional thinking would have been drastically reduced to the point of non-existence. I suspect he would not have acted up as much had the comments been targeted towards him.

    3. alexissmith2016 says:

      although just reading through the comments I may have misjudged hahah. I’ve only just got to Number 10 in the Putin series! which was excellent. at least Putin is more interesting than MM lol. Of course HG makes anything interesting. I have no idea how you find the time to record all these for us. that must have taken a huge amount of research. thank you

      I don’t want to be crushed and think Will S is an N. I’ll save it for the gym this evening.

  14. jasmin says:

    Will Smith have strong narcissistic traits but yet have remained with Jada Pink Smith for 25 years. That’s interesting to me!

    1. MP says:

      I think Will Smith is a codependent. He reminds me of the codependents in Chained. He grew up watching his dad beat his mom and his mom probably was so worn down by the abuse that her bond with him wasn’t strong or healthy either. He said he tried to create a perfect marriage and he told Jada that he is “the one” who can love her through anything. In his interviews he had been so focused on all of what is wrong with him and the things he did wrong in their marriage and not even mentioning anything that Jada did wrong. He said that he wasn’t man enough to be able to accept how Jada sees Tupac because it made him so insecure. I take note of his poor sense of what manhood is because he didn’t have a good role model from his dad. And also, no human should be strong enough to take triangulation and other manipulations because it’s not about being strong but about having enough love for ourselves. A healthy man would not take abuse either and wouldn’t be so desperate to get validation from his wife. I think that he is so lost as a person, he has lost who he is because of trying to get validation or approval from Jada. Also the open marriage thing sounded like for Jada but Will tolerates because he thinks letting her do anything is the highest form of love. He said something like that in an interview. I hope that he actually gets bad consequence for his behavior but he will probably not.

      1. MP says:

        I sound callous for wanting Will Smith to pay for what he did to Chris Rock but I think he should be responsible because he was the one who elected to do it. It wasn’t just a physical assault but also emotional and mental. He humiliated CR in front of millions of people and CR has two kids who might see that video of their dad getting attacked over and over. Does anyone not have empathy for his kids? Over what? A GI Jane joke which some women would actually find to be flattering. I have zero compassion for Jada being offended over that joke. It doesn’t warrant that attack especially on someone who has already been traumatized from being severely bullied in high school. So many jokes about Jada are way more offensive than that. And I hated Will Smith’s smug look after he attacked Chris Rock. I know Will Smith has a lot of good but he was not a good person that night.

        1. Leigh says:

          Hi MP! Hope you’re well. I don’t think you sound callous at all. I agree that Will Smith needs to pay for his action. I would even go as far as saying that Will Smith himself believes he needs to pay for his actions. He is a people pleaser and I’m sure this is eating him up inside. I would even say that since he is in a sustained devaluation right now that Jada isn’t happy with his actions. My guess is she sees it as a display of egoism not that he was trying to defend her honor. He has been so battered and beaten, he is taking actions that he wouldn’t normally take.

          I’m not defending his actions but as a lieutenant myself, I understand what happened here. When I’m in that defend and save mode, you almost have tunnel vision. Often its an instinctual response. I’m not thinking, I’m just doing. There have been many times that I have defended, saved or protected a narcissist and then looked back and said, “What the heck was I thinking.”

          As for Chris Rock, I think he could use this as a learning tool for his children. Chris Rock did the right thing by not reacting in the moment. HIs children have a father that they can be proud to call Dad.

        2. jasmin says:

          Hi MP,

          I don’t think that you are callous and I agree with you that he should be held to account. What he did was, irrespective of the circumstances, his actions and it was physical abuse.
          Understanding what made him act like he did however makes me willing to forgive him.

          1. MP says:

            Hi Jasmin, thank you, it is definitely forgivable. He is not the same person he was. I think I saw a comment saying he looks broken. I feel the same way. He looks like a broken person. I noticed before all of this that his essence has changed when I watched Alladin. His smile and whole essence about him has changed and felt cynic. He wasn’t the easy going and confident guy from the previous movies. His smiles do not look genuine anymore. I remember a joke many years ago by one famous comedian I can’t remember saying “as cool as Will Smith before he married Jada.” I think some people who know more about them in Hollywood have seen how he has changed and can attribute it to her. I wish for consequences from his actions but I also wish him well and I hope he figures out what is happening to him. I believe his son is also a full blown narcissist already. I don’t know about his daughter. His son’s response about this situation, “And that is how we do it” I thought was pretty sad.

          2. MP says:

            Hello Jasmin,
            I have just read that Will Smith from Hollywood Film Academy. His resignation letter felt sincere. I think he is trying to take responsibility. I’m glad that he is. It is for the best and is better for himself as well as an empath to take responsibility. I hope eventually when it’s the right time he will personally reach out to Rock and they can make ammends. And I hope he starts to work on himself and finally recognize what (or who) has been poisoning his mental and emotional health and hopefully he leaves.

          3. Jasmin says:

            Hi MP,

            I’ve noticed the same about his smile. He isn’t happy. The pain and sorrow shines through even if he tries to appear as if everything is fine.

            I think you are right about his son Jaden and I think the daughter Willow belong to the narc group as well. She claims to be polygamous.
            The older son Treys eyes are diffrent, hope it’s in a good way.

    2. jasmin says:


  15. Luckyjanesaware says:

    I hear you on this, HG! I think Will was initially called out by Regina Hall as “being single” earlier in the night when she called up the single actors for “Covid tests” (not that funny, but still- her bit, and she pushed buttons in my opinion). Will Smith has described his marital relationship in terms essentially meaning that they have an open marriage but are “life partners” in an “unconventional marriage.” That bit appeared to make him uncomfortable and likely Jada didn’t appreciate it, so when Chris Rock insulted her, that escalated things for him.

  16. Bubbles says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    PS – sorry, apart from Will Smith , who else won 🏆 😆
    The Oscars have been “biased” ever since it’s inception but only over recent years trying to change from peer pressure, hence why I don’t watch it
    Chris Rock handled it like the professional he is, any other bloke would’ve punched him right back 🥊
    The outcome of this will create an impact for those trying to campaign against domestic violence
    Quote from Will Smith “ But, love will make you do crazy things” ……yeah right !
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      You are so right, Bubbles. Most of my students defended WS. Regardless of whether his wife is a narcissist, that’s not the way to solve anything and even less to show “love.” If my husband acted like a thug to “protect” me from another guy I would leave him. This is not the Wild West anymore! (I am taking this opportunity to say I am a huge fan of WS’s movies, BUT the one he did about the Wild West which is a piece of crap).

      1. Bubbles says:

        Dearest Sweet Pea,
        I find your students siding with Will most interesting and disturbing at the same time, although I can see why and understand the main reason being him defending his wife and her condition.
        ‘IF’ it came to pass, it was staged, extremely bad taste in my opinion, however I think not.
        America has a history of ‘roasting’ celebrities, which I have never understood.

        I have further looked into the history of these three and they go back thirty years together. Jada has commented in the past (referring to Chris Rocks jokes “it goes with the territory” and laughed it off.

        Will suffers 2 mental type personas, apparently, having come from an abusive childhood, his father abusing his mother, hence his protectiveness toward women.
        Will, according to reports, has ‘lost his cool’ more frequently over recent years.
        Chris suffers NVLD, non verbal learning disorder, a form of asbergers/autism.
        Let’s not forget, a narcissist (Jada) was about to have her husband ‘in the limelight’. By giving him the ‘look’ he reacted, ending up looking the fool, in order for HER to SHINE.
        A typical narc trait!

        Going round with a ‘one punch’ (lucky it was a slap) can kill a person and has done.

        Violence or an assault on another person is simply not acceptable under any circumstances.

        I feel your students have a lot more to learn ……yeeeehaaah!
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Bubbles not all of them are the same. This was an intro class, but then I had the most balanced and well documented conversation with one of my seminars and they really surprised me. I found that the ones that sided with Will did so because they had noticed his toxic relationship from long. I obviously explained you cannot be hitting people around every time they make fun of you…

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Sweet Pea,
            I’m so glad for your students, they are more savvy than I ever was at the same age
            Self control for some is not easy and for others being kind is difficult
            May we all learn from this scenario
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            “Self control for some is not easy and for others being kind is difficult.” Wise words, dearest Bubbles!

        2. Violetta says:

          Let’s not forget that Will played heavyweight champion Muhammad Ali. He may not be bulked up anymore, but he could probably still do serious damage to someone who never did that kind of training.

          1. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Violetta,
            Yes, one definitely should take that into consideration.Thank you for the reminder.
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  17. Rebecca says:


    I enjoyed your break down of the event, that we were all talking about today at work. Thanks for doing that, I appreciate you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

      1. Rebecca says:


        I was just listening to your live chat and going to listen to the next ones. It’s both educational and entertaining. I have an idea the outcome, dare I take a guess? Yeah, if I get it wrong, life goes on and no dunce hat this time? Anyway, my guess is Jada is a Victim Narcissist, I’m thinking middle mid range. I think Will is a Savior empath with strong Narcissistic traits. Am I right?

      2. Rebecca says:

        Oh, and thanks for the live chats. I feel spoiled like a kitten. Meow

      3. Rebecca says:

        I didn’t do too bad on the guess of what Will Smith is and that was before I saw the videos. I’m learning Cadres and Schools….my weakness….

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Because you’re smart, Rebecca. Never doubt it!

          1. Rebecca says:

            Thanks SP! ❤❤❤

      4. Rebecca says:

        So far, I guessed who’s a narc and who’s an empath correctly. I’m definitely better at deciding that much. Lol

  18. Witch says:

    Knowing Jada she probably said “2 pac would have never let him speak about me that way”
    …. She’s been having an “entanglement” with 2 Pac’s ghost for decades
    Poor Will

    1. Violetta says:

      Or she threw in his face that as a kid, he didn’t defend his mother when drunk daddy used to whale on her. Not that he could have; trust me, I tried to defend mine, and when he was done thwacking me he just went back to thwacking her, and she told me, “Stay out of it.”
      Talk about a LOCE.

      1. Truthseeker6157 says:


        That’s a really good point. Will Smith is still haunted by the fact that he didn’t step in to protect his mother as his father beat her. The assumption is that he could have stopped it. You’re right, he couldn’t. The empath is so ready to take responsibility for the actions of the narcissist, it’s almost an instinctive response. Will Smith couldn’t have protected his mother in that scenario.

        He has a very similar school and cadre breakdown to me just with different emphasis and I think the emphasis is all important in terms of behaviours and likely outcomes.

        When thinking about the trigger for him to get out of his seat and hit Chris Rock, we looked at his wife. Did she say something? Did she give him a look? She didn’t need to. He was sat right beside her. Given his mix of schools, he would have felt her disdain and disapproval. Those are strong emotions, he would have felt those as clearly as a slap to the cheek.

        I can’t in any way condone his behaviour but I can very much relate to what happened and how he felt. His schools, his cadres both worked against him there.

        Having such a detailed explanation of Will Smith’s schools and cadres really helps to understand what drove his behaviour that night. I think this analysis teaches more about how the schools and cadres operate in unison than anything HG has produced so far, it’s extremely useful. The only downside is that I feel a little guilty learning off the back of an empath in distress. His cadres are still showing themselves in his subsequent attempts to make amends. He’s clearly ready to throw himself to the wolves because of that one horrendous decision and If he unravels completely I’ll find that very uncomfortable viewing / listening.


    2. Cherish says:

      LOL !

      After the whole entanglement I noticed she is narc and been thinking if Will is one or not.

      The pac Joke we had me laughing I’m been a fan my a whole life thanks for the laugh

      1. Witch says:


        Willow smith even wrote a letter to Tupac as a child (whom she has never met!) asking him to come back because her mum misses him…
        Absolute piss take!!!
        Imagine that happening to you as a father… your daughter writing to her mother’s ghost lover
        That means the bald bitch was going on and on about Tupac in the house in front of her children, the disrespect!

  19. Sarah says:

    Someone he loves? Where likely, someone to whom he is addicted. It was so so not OK to do what he did. As for Jada and her hair, lady wear wig if it’s that big deal to you. But I don’t think it was that her hair was that bad or that she feels sensitive about it, or she would have. No, this was all about control and making Will do her bidding. (Very Markle-y, I might add.)

  20. WhoCares says:

    “Love will make you do crazy things.”

    Well, there is a kernel of truth, if I ever heard one.

    1. WhoCares says:

      HG, will you please, please, please analyze Will Smith’s acceptance speech, after the altercation?

      1. Leigh says:

        WhoCares, I think he may be an ACON too. He made it a point to say that his mother didn’t come to the awards and that she was with her knitting club. Why wasn’t his mother at the awards?

        Also, he looked broken. It reminded me of Gabby Petito. I felt immense sadness for him.

        1. WiserNow says:

          I feel sadness for him too Leigh.

          When I look at his eyes in photos now, there’s a look of tiredness and smiling through resigned sadness. In his younger days, his expression was brighter with a natural spark.

          I feel bad for him too when people call him a simp or a cuck. People who say that don’t realise the consistent strength, patience and perseverence it takes to remain married to someone like Jada and still maintain a successful career and integrity for others.

          He has accommodated and covered up for her selfishness. He may seem like her simp, however, he has maintained their lifestyle and their family in spite of her. Looking at it in a different way, he is superhuman. Not many people could do what he has done for 25 years.

          I’m not condoning or approving their relationship and it’s not a case of saying good or bad or right or wrong. I’m looking at it from a different perspective.

          1. Leigh says:

            WN, I agree with you 100%. I know full well what he goes through on a daily basis. I don’t condone or approve either. Thank you. I know your words aren’t directed at me but the still mean alot.

          2. WiserNow says:

            Hi Leigh,
            When I wrote my comment I was thinking about your comment specifically in relation to Will Smith’s actions and his general expression and body language. I felt sadness for him too. I think that’s because in some ways, he reminds me of my father. My father’s not a multimillionaire actor and my parents didn’t have an open marriage, but rather the manipulations and control my mother had over him.

            My words weren’t directed at you, Leigh. I’m sorry if it came across that way. I think narcissists have a similar kind of effect on their partners or families in many kinds of relationships.

          3. Leigh says:

            I didn’t take offense to the words at all. Your words actually made me feel a little bit better about myself. There are times I’ve beaten myself up for the things I’ve done for the narcissist.

          4. WiserNow says:

            In that case, I’m glad my words made you feel a bit better about yourself 🙂

            I’ve beaten myself up at times too. I look back on things from the past (before being here on narcsite) and I ask myself, “could I have done things differently?” Sometimes, this line of thinking helps because it leads to changing certain behaviours in the present, and sometimes it isn’t helpful to dwell on the past. I think it depends on my frame of mind when thinking about things.

            I think many people question themselves because of a narcissist, so you’re not alone there Leigh.

            I recently watched Louis Theroux’s documentary about Jimmy Savile after Savile’s death. He asked people who knew Savile what they thought of him and what they thought of his effect on them now that the truth is known about who he was.

            It was very interesting. Some people still defended him and thought the claims of abuse could not be true. Some also found it difficult to accept the truth of what he was because it meant their own memories of a big chunk of their own lives were based on lies and an illusion that they believed in.

            I think there is a difficulty in accepting the truth when we have been lied to and manipulated. It means that our view of reality that we based our beliefs and actions on wasn’t actually real. It’s a concept that takes some getting used to.

            Anyway, watching that made me think that there’s no reason to be hard on ourselves. Narcissists play with people’s realities and then leave it for their targets to wonder how they did it. Thank goodness we have HG to help us make sense of it 🙂

        2. Violetta says:

          Well, both mom and Jada have that hairstyle. Not sure who started it, though.

        3. A Victor says:

          Oh wow Leigh, you’re right. He did look like Gabby Petito. That is so incredibly sad.

      2. Sweetest Perfection says:

        WC, the speech…That metaphor of the river made me cringe.

      3. Asp Emp says:

        WhoCares, interesting yet understandable suggestion. HG, I second WC on this, I know and appreciate you are very busy, thank you in advance 🙂 x

  21. Sweetest Perfection says:

    And there’s more. Apparently, C Rock’s comical routine last night relied on a few misogynistic jokes about actors’ partners, regardless of whether these partners were facing an autoimmune condition, as in the case of Jada P, or whether they had also been nominated to an Oscar, as in the case of Penélope Cruz. His joke: “Javier Bardem and his wife are nominated today. If Bardem wins and she doesn’t, then he won’t win tonight.” PC is not “Bardem’s wife.” In my opinion, the macho misdemeanor went both ways last night.

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      I know this is not the topic of the blog. I do focus on violence because it’s part of my job. However, my question now is: Is Will Smith a narcissist? I hope nooooooot!!!! I was gonna ask the same about CR but those jokes are previously approved by the Academy so…

  22. Joa says:

    I just watched this “joke” clip. Hopeless. Who laughs at such things?

    Fire is boiling in me!

    This kind of public words a man about a woman is a scandal and complete lack of tact and upbringing!

    I think, it was enough for Will Smith to look at his wife’s face.

    Hope, that WS hit him with an open palm. It’s more demeaning and “safer” at the same time. It was due.

    I support. The correct reaction of a man to the inappropriate behavior of another man.

    Jokes must be fun, not hurt.


    As for Will Smith’s delayed response, I understand it perfectly well. Sometimes in the group of Narcissists, when I am relaxed and we joke, I also laugh at something, only after a few seconds I understand the context and full meaning. Then, I can put my stone face on in the blink of an eye and say: “I laughed at the momentum. It’s not funny, it’s downright despicable.” The laughter stops immediately. I dont like, when someone makes fun of others and things, that are beyond their control. From me – please. We can mock each other.

    1. Joa says:

      Only now did I see the HG video. Strike with an open hand. WS did the right thing. He shouldn’t have the slightest remorse.

      I do not know these people and I am not interested in this type of celebration. I am referring only to the situation.

      Death, disease, poverty, suffering, pain – these things are NEVER personally joked about.

      The world has gone dumb.

      1. Sensyone says:

        Yes they are joked about and yes it can be funny. Joking is a coping mechanism, it helps you get through life and allows the dropping of the guard to give people respite from the shittyness and seriousness of the world. That old adage – If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.

        1. Joa says:

          That’s why I joke a lot. I laugh a lot. I often mock myself and things, that can be changed.

          Humor is a great method of repairing and healing the world, correcting mistakes, as well as relieving conflicts and relaxing.

          Stupid and pointless humor, as well as a bullet veiled into humor – arouse my objection.

          PS If I were in the position of WS, I would be pleased and satisfied with the full consequences of the impact. He can afford it. The apology made me disgusted – this is a typical narc. method – hit and apologize (but what you hit, you hit!).

          For me, it’s a strange, artificially created world of bizarre and unnatural people.

      2. WiserNow says:

        Hi Joa,
        I think the world has gone dumb too. Considering what is happening close to you, the attention given to this incident seems ridiculous. This is a trivial thing in comparison – one millionaire actor slapping another. I think it’s just easier for the average person to talk about what is happening in ‘Hollywood’ because it’s magical thinking and entertainment.

        Many people see and feel what is happening in other parts of the world though. I watch the news from Ukraine and feel angry and very sad that one disordered man can be the cause of suffering and hardship for many. What has happened will take decades to rebuild and will affect a generation and more. I feel very sorry for the people affected and angry that this happened.

        You are not alone and people do see and have empathy, although there is only so much change or help ordinary people can make or give from far away. I really hope the situation gets better soon.

        1. Joa says:

          Thank you WN, your beautiful and wise words cheere me.

          I try to pass this comfort on to those, who need it most.

          I believe, people under this artificial patina are wise. I believe, they can look further. I believe, that it will finally break through the top, insignificant layer of life.

          It will be fine.

          It’s a pity, that so much has to happen, and probably more, before that happens…

          1. WiserNow says:

            You’re welcome Joa. Thank you for your very kind and thoughtful reply. You are a strong and positive woman.

            Yes, it’s a great pity that so much has to happen. I hope things begin to improve as soon as possible. From the recent news I have read, the invasion is now being described as a strategic disaster for Russia. Also, it sounds like the economic sanctions are having an effect too.

            I think this invasion will make the determination of the Ukrainian people even stronger, so in that respect, it has backfired for Putin and his ‘delusion’.

            I hope things stay as safe as possible for you and of course I hope there is an end soon to the chaos in Ukraine.

    2. A Victor says:

      Hi Joa, I have experienced being caught up in the moment and having a delayed response to something said also. I have also said similar once it became clear in my mind.

      1. Joa says:

        AV, it happens to me quite often. It’s just that a person goes too far in joking sometimes.

        Unfortunately, my grave and emphatic voice ends the jokes 🙂

        I also discipline myself publicly, if I deserve it 🙂

        1. A Victor says:

          It happens to all of us I suppose. It happened to me here recently, I felt terrible and made amends as I can here, sometimes I wish there was more I could do. In real life situations, my voice has also ended the fun on some occasions.

          I also will take public discipline if I do deserve it, but if not, I don’t. That is different than disciplining myself I suppo se, and yes, that would be true also. I am learning that as an empath I am very, unduly, hard on myself sometimes so have been trying to moderate this before taking action, to really see how serious the event was. In my mind, they are all very serious but not in the bigger world’s view sometimes. It is an occasion I try very hard to “go to the evidence” and even get another person’s perspective before I act.

  23. Violetta says:

    But the most upset person of all is Duchess Sizzler, because with this distraction, everyone’s forgotten all about her not attending, let alone presenting.

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Violetta was it you who posted this comment on YT? Haha YOU’RE TOTALLY RIGHT.

      1. Violetta says:

        I’m waiting for her Official Statement. It’s a delicate matter. Has to show compassion to alopecia sufferers, can’t side with Will because Violence=Bad, can’t side with Chris because he’s not the one who got an Oscar. Can’t criticize the Academy’s decisions, whether not to expel him physically or the question of rescinding his Oscar. Can’t criticize the people who gave Will a standing ovation. Oh, if only one of the participants wasn’t a PoC! Without that to break the impasse, she’s in something of a quandary.

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          I can criticize the Academy for many things, for example, after years of accusing the Academy and the film industry in general for being sexist, approving a comic script like the one CR brought was another slap… to female actors.

          1. Violetta says:

            But Duchess Sizzler can’t criticize anybody until she’s figured out whom everyone else is siding with. She’s Lord Stanley at Bosworth Field, waiting to see whether Henry Tudor or Richard III will be the winner before taking a side.

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Criticize the fucking Oscars. They are obsolete and preposterous and nobody watches them anymore, that’s why they need to resort to these scandals to bring some attention.

          3. MP says:

            Hello SP, from what I have heard Chris Rock was freestyling and didn’t have his joke pre approved. It was just something he thought of when he saw Jada with a shaved head. He was also not aware of her alopecia from what people who talked to him said. I personally don’t know anyone who follow Jada and knew that she has alopecia. I don’t think that comedians can possibly have the time to do research in each person they will make jokes on. But I know some of the jokes were written ahead of time.

            I think that Rebel Wilson’s joke about Jada and Will was much worse at BAFTA. Ricky Gervais also said he refuses to host the Academy A. because the Golden Globes let him say any jokes he wants so it sounds like the Academy Awards is even stricter when it comes to filtering jokes. I think that a lot of jokes have become hostile and mean spirited but I think most people just learn to ignore these comedians who are trying to get recognition by pushing the envelope.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Its a joke. People need to grow a pair.

          5. Sweetest Perfection says:

            What some people need to grow is a better sense of humor.

          6. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Chris Rock didn’t deserve to be physically assaulted. Absolutely not. But that joke didn’t deserve all the attention it’s getting, either. Not because it was or wasn’t inocuos, but because it was not funny at all. It was cheap, easy, puerile. In one of last weeks’ livestreams about the topic, HG made an ample demonstration of witty humor around the topic of hair and baldness. Some guys are smarter than others (since you like “some” Smiths).

          7. HG Tudor says:

            Indeed and some guys’ mothers are smarter than other guys” mothers.

          8. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hahahaha good one.

          9. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Have you noticed how everyone now knows nothing about what happened? CR didn’t know about the alopecia, the Academy didn’t know about CR, and WS soon will say he didn’t know about Jada and CR either. Blame shifting galore!

          10. Sweetest Perfection says:

            MP, goo to see you back! I did hear the joke Rebel Wilson told about Idris Elba at the BAFTAs but not about Jada and Will. I wanted to die of the embarrassment. It seems Idris does have “a pair.” Idris. Idris….

          11. MP says:

            SP, speaking if terrible jokes, have you heard of Amy Schumer’s “seat filler” joke about Kirsten Dunst. I think Amy Schumer is a narcissist. She has that mean and juvenile mean girl humor. I don’t understand why she became famous. But I haven’t seen any of her movies.

          12. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Hi MP, I agree with you. And judging from her dress, she probably is not very somatic. HA! There goes an offensive joke for her! Kick me out, Academy.

          13. Violetta says:

            I have an Official Statement for Duchess Sizzler:

            We must support racial and gender justice for stronger communities and more equitable outcomes for families facilitated by policies that uphold and protect human rights and economic independence with a comprehensive approach to women’s empowerment that gives a voice to the voiceless that empowers the community to activate change that uplifts through sharing our stories of kindness and compassion.

            There’s already a bogus Statement making the rounds, but it
            A) includes the Grocer’s Plural; and
            B) actually takes a side, though so nebulously, it’s hard to care.

            Mine is superior, since it is not only impossible for any reader to figure out what it’s saying, but I’m not entirely sure myself.

          14. WiserNow says:

            That statement sounds like you’re advocating a season of healing but the rest of your comment says you’re not really here for it.

          15. MP says:

            SP, not sure what you mean by me liking some Smiths. I hope I didn’t offend you with my opinions.

            With regards to that CR joke, it would not have gotten attention if Will Smith didn’t slap CR. I agree that it wasn’t that funny. I don’t watch these awards show because of many reasons and especially since they gave Polanski a standing ovation.

          16. MP says:

            I already figured out the “some Smiths” response was not for me. I got confused. 🙂

          17. HG Tudor says:

            Wouldn´t worry about it MP, we are used to it.

          18. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Sorry MP! I realized it was typed below your comment and obviously you thought it was a reply to you. What I didn’t think about is the coincidence between the name of the band and of Will and Jada! Hahaha! I love these coincidences. We should add Brad Pitt and Angelina to twist the plot!

          19. Truthseeker6157 says:


            I think your statement is very virtuous. She’ll like that.


          20. Violetta says:


            She ought to; it’s mostly her own words. I just threw in some prepositions and conjunctions.

          21. MP says:

            Haha SP, I was wondering if you were referring to the Brangelina movie. I don’t know that band. But I didn’t like the Brangelina movie either. I watched it when it came out and thought the knife scene was cool but the whole movie was just ok for me. Thank you for the kind clarification. 😘❤️

          22. HG Tudor says:

            Sweet Jesus.

          23. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Mother of God!

          24. Violetta says:


            I have no idea what I’m advocating. I’m disappointed to find you do: I must have done it wrong.

          25. WiserNow says:

            I’m not sure what your statement (written on behalf of Harry’s wife) was advocating either.

            It sounded vague and all-inclusive, with an overall ‘positive’ sentiment. In that respect, it reminded me of Jada’s “season of healing” statement.

            You’re obviously not “here for it”, so I think we can agree on that part haha

          26. Violetta says:


            There is a rumor going around that Wifey has been asked to shill on one of the Shopping Networks.
            Knowing how she does things, I wonder if she started the rumor, as a hint to the Shopping Networks that they ought to ask her….

            I have frequently worried about my numerous Narcissistic traits, but I have some experience of looking at events and wondering, “How did I ferk things up this badly?” I don’t believe Wifey has ever had that thought, and if there was ever an occasion that merited it–going from the BRF to TV shopping channels?!!

          27. WiserNow says:

            I haven’t heard that rumour Violetta.

            Speculating about it, there could be valid reasons.
            Maybe Wifey needs a weekend job because Harry’s chewed through their budget buying crayons..?
            Maybe Wifey’s been on the phone to Jeff Bezos about starting some kind of Amazon offshoot to sell her books..?
            Maybe it’s an arrangement with Andrew to hock his teddy bears to help pay the settlement..?

            It sounds like a rumour to me, but it’s fun to speculate though 🙂

  24. alexissmith2016 says:

    Awww I’m looking forward to listening later. Love Will Smith! even more so now!

    I hope Chris Rock gets starved of fuel forever!!

    I found out last week a colleague of mine (likely N) insulted another colleague (likely E), he’s never troubled me too much, I just thought he was a knob and avoided him when I could. I feel furious (maybe I’m an N haha), I literally don’t think I can let it go, especially as I see how hurt she is. But I know I can’t slap him, maybe accidentally poor a blackcurrant drink over his white shirt or something haha still I guess he’d still get lots of fuel from that! I’ll have to come up with something better.

    1. Truthseeker6157 says:


      Know much about cars?

      You could talk about the fact you are planning on changing yours. Wait until there are plenty of people around, ask him which car he would suggest. He’ll like that. Let him talk, then turn it, say that you assume he must be looking at changing his car too as it’s, getting on a bit now / is that ‘unusual’ colour / is a bit on the slow side. Your mum had one like his at one time, she hated it, really laggy on the acceleration. Good that he likes his though, a lot to be said for safe driving etc etc. No prizes for getting there first are there?


      1. alexissmith2016 says:

        ooooh liking your style TS! especially this bit, “Your mum had one like his at one time” hahaha wow he’ll need some serious fuel to heal that wound! love it!

        hahaha I can’t stop smiling to myself. I’m definitely going to use that – on all Ns who love cars everywhere hahaha

        more, more, more

      2. alexissmith2016 says:

        I know enough to know I’ve never liked a Saab driver hahah

        Ns do get jealous of cars. I bought a new car a couple of years ago. Nothing especially fancy but pantman who previously owned something similar to the inbetweeners at the time literally wanted to buy one the same only better lol he gets into a lot of debt, lives way way beyond his means one night out a year and has to hire a chauffeur blah blah to take him to the finest place to pretend he is a billionaire for one night laps it up then goes into a deep depression. Anywya, he ended up buying something not as nice as he anticipated.

        Another N decided to buy something similar in the same colour convertible like mine, he has the resources to buy a better make model etc and he was so waiting for my reaction. But I literally don’t care about things like that and he happens to be incredibly useful – a great appliance when he functions as I want hahah so he can take the credit for a superior car

        But yeah, definitely going to crack the mum joke

        1. Truthseeker6157 says:


          Proper laughing about the Saab driver. That said I’m after the Rangey drivers at the moment. Seen in their natural habitat, double yellows with hazards on or parked across two spaces haha! Drives me nuts.

          I can see you saying the mum joke, innocent, not really realising your insult. (Aye right!)

          Narcs and cars, HG mentions wounding via the car in his empath grenades video. To really wound, you need to make the car comment then walk out, but you are in work so you can’t really do that. Oh well, challenge fuel will have to do!

          Thats funny about the narc buying a convertible because you had one. Same here, the MMRA bought a very similar car to mine, only a matter of weeks after we first started dating. Ridiculous.

          You want more?! Haha, oh go on then. Ask him where he went on holiday. Then look really bored and start texting on your phone. 😂

          Here to help. Haha!


          1. HG Tudor says:

            Try the high street in St John’s Wood for double parking mayhem but beware they can get catty!

          2. alexissmith2016 says:

            Hahhaa yeah I can pitch it at the right level when I want to lol I agree on the rangeys!
            I’m naturally quite good at looking disinterested and being on my phone if someone is boring me hahah and more than prepared to walk off in the right circumstances letting them know I’ve had enough now haha

          3. Witch says:

            So how often are you in London?

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Not as often as I once was.

          5. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Catty you say? Ah yes, you have yourself an ‘Alpha Mom’ there. Recognisable due to Lululemon workout wear, super high ponytail and obligatory Rangey.

            St John’s Wood reminds me a little of Montpellier in Cheltenham, another double parking hotspot (minus canal.)

        2. Violetta says:

          I don’t understand the whole car thing. I got rear-ended last year and drove a rental until the insurance people got me my payout, then took a friend to some used car lots until I found one that had the features I wanted (particularly the backup camera, which the rental had but my totalled car did not).
          I have no particular feeling about people who have BMWs or Porsches. I just wanted to be able to parallel-park with less angst.

          1. alexissmith2016 says:

            Hahhaha ah I’m not massively into cars violetta hence me not getting a top of the range lol rather something tidy. I do find it amusing though, when people buy cars way beyond their means. Someone I know bought a car they’d always dreamed off then just kept it parked on their drive because they realised they couldn’t afford the petrol or any repairs if it went wrong.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Last time I saw you. you appeared to be massively onto cars, AS2016, judging by the way you were splayed over the bonnet!

          3. alexissmith2016 says:

            Oh god! You didn’t did you? Was that the Saab, the BMW or the Skoda?

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Citroen 2CV so faux Bohemian.

          5. alexissmith2016 says:

            Is that the one which had number plate HG Ultra?

          6. HG Tudor says:

            No, your number plate was SL4 PP4

          7. Hahhaha oh god you do make me laugh. Yeah I thought the one with the Citroen was too damn good. Sorry I mistook for you xxxxx

          8. That said, I was pretty pissed at the time.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            You’re always pissed you lush!

          10. Truthseeker6157 says:


            Have to confess I am into cars. I’m not the most practical when it comes to choosing them either. Basically, I want the fastest car I can afford. I haven’t gone ostentatious, yet. I prefer to drive a fast car that people don’t instantly recognise as being fast, until I leave them for dead at the lights or through the roundabout. Love me a roundabout haha!

            I think Brits get more irritated with bad drivers because our roads are overcrowded, our towns and cities are congested and our parking spaces are tight. I remember being in the US and being shocked by how large the parking spaces were, how many there were, and how empty the roads felt for the most part.

            My local area is now filled with tourists. I’m shortly going to drop my son off at work and I guarantee that the tourists will be walking in the road, there will be no free spaces and there will be a Rangey blocking the already narrow road through the village. Guaranteed. Absolute knocking bet haha!

            Overall the Brits do love to criticise drivers of certain cars. It used to be Saab then BMW drivers. Now it’s Audi drivers that get the most stick I think. (and rightly so 😂)


          11. NarcAngel says:

            It’s a very specific plate you had bestowed upon you Alexis. Hmm….wonder what it means? haha

          12. Violetta says:

            Yes, but to be fair, HG, AS2016 still isn’t into cars. She’s just using cars as an assist on who gets into her.

            And they did stay on the bonnet.

          13. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I cannot care less about cars. I own one like I go to the dentist, just because you need to or else it would be worse. But I love reading creative license plates. There was one car in front of my , stopped at the tragic light once, whose plate read L.H.O.O.Q. I wanted that plate for myself immediately!!! Genius.

          14. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I posted a comment and I don’t even know what it said. My phone typed “in front of my” instead of “me” and “at the tragic” for “traffic” and who knows what. I may need a new car but I definitely need a new phone (autocorrect wanted to trade “new phone” for “Jew phone”). I give up.

          15. Joa says:

            Alex, my best friend Narc. bought an expensive car a year ago (I don’t know about brands, it’s nice – I can say that much + color). He drives special, expensive car washes, put on ceramics. It loads tons of cosmetics into this car. Even the birch pollen on the hood annoys him.

            In general, the car is in the underground garage and his enjoying this view 🙂
            He is responsible, inter alia, for city monitoring, so he installed additional cameras + other control systems in the hall.

            He drives two other, cheaper cars 🙂

            I laugh at him, that he has a museum exhibit 🙂

            I suspect, that he does not let his wife or the one-year-old child into this car 🙂

            His office looks like his car 🙂

            Recently, he yelled at me, that I sat on a chair, where he puts his stylish leather briefcase, ha ha ha 🙂

            So, I deliberately pushed this briefcase, hip further and tilted it, so that it would not be parallel to the backrest 🙂

            I like to tease him 🙂

          16. Truthseeker6157 says:


            “And would your briefcase like a cushion?”



          17. Rebecca says:

            Violetta ,

            I have the perfect solution to parallel parking problems. Park somewhere else, works for me….I always worry about someone hitting my vehicle or blocking me in. I hate parallel parking.

          18. Violetta says:


            Unfortunately, parallel parking is pretty much all we’ve got in this neighborhood, unless you own a house with a garage or your apartment complex has its own lot (ours doesn’t).

          19. JB says:


            “I have the perfect solution to parallel parking problems. Park somewhere else” – yes! You’re a woman after my own heart there! I am so shit at parking! Haven’t parallel parked since the 90s! 😂

  25. Pingback: Will Smith : Erosion of Emotional Empathy - Dark Triad Personality
  26. A Victor says:

    An excellent breakdown showing why we defend them, thank you HG. It is seriously bizarre that this happened at this time.

  27. Leigh says:

    I wondered the same thing as WN about Chris Rock. He remained remarkably calm. Chris Rock isn’t pressing charges either. If he is a narcissist, wouldn’t he need to assert control? Maybe Chris Rock isn’t a narcissist either?

    This is a good example of how right or wrong & good or bad is highly subjective. My first reaction was what the heck was Will Smith thinking? Then after Mr. Tudor’s explanation I felt incredibly sad for Will Smith. Jada used Will as her tool.

    Mr. Tudor, you always make me see things clearly. Thank you!

  28. Sweetest Perfection says:

    I’m sorry for all the typos. I’m at a zoom meeting and need to look at the camera every now and then to pretend I care.

    1. WhoCares says:

      Pahahaha – SP!!

    2. WhoCares says:

      I currently identify with your having to “pretend” to care about other matters…

    3. Joa says:

      SP, you made me laugh 🙂

      I still do it at meetings of the Management Board and Supervisory Board 🙂 Sometimes I turn off completely, when I hear the same thing for the fifth time 🙂

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Oh, Joa, it’s is INSANE. We have meetings to discuss the points prior to the meetings. A meeting about the meeting! I stay there, smiling. And subtly looking through the corner of my eye if there’s another livestream and I’m missing out…

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Feeling unimportant? Feeling lonely? Feeling sidelined?

          Hold a meeting and bore the arse off your colleagues.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Spot on. As usual.

          2. JB says:

            Ha ha! Love this, HG!

          3. Joa says:

            I feel, that Monday will greet me with a series of meetings.

            Probably, I won’t be able to do anything because of it 🙂

            I’ve been a very, very ungrateful and selfish device lately.

            The liquidity has been discontinued.

            I have to atone 🙂

          4. WiserNow says:

            Unnecessary meetings at work are such a waste of time. Why can’t people just be honest and get to the point? It would be much more efficient if everyone was honest and just said what they were thinking… haha

            (I’m just being sarcastic. It’s an attempt at humour… please everyone…Think of your jobs! Stay in your seats! It was a joke! 🙂 )

        2. Asp Emp says:

          SP, RE: “We have meetings to discuss the points prior to the meetings” – I think this is a very common ‘tactic’ of narcissist bosses. Yes, that is some cray s*it! I used to get annoyed about this because I was volunteering, sorry, let me rephrase that, WASTING my time. I mentioned it once and it was taken as an insult because I was criticising.

          HG’s suggestion – absolutely spot on = turn the tables on “them” 😉

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            The lover of meetings is not even my boss, AE. But I wouldn’t say she’s not a narcissist! She seems to enjoy causing distress on colleagues by calling “urgent” meetings in the middle of the weekend, on spring break … of course she always prefaces the email with a false constriction: “I am sorry to be disturbing your vacation/weekend …” No you’re not!! And of course she knows this week I am giving an important lecture in front of the whole university so what did she do? Call me on TWO!!! Not one, two!! urgent meetings. I’m gonna let my body be present and nod but I’m not gonna read the bunch of stupid documents she sent for revision. What I don’t understand is why you went through all that without being paid, AE.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            SP, “false constriction” sounds about right 😉 She sounds like a right nightmare! I have done similar in the past RE: not being ‘present’ (laughing), yeah, maybe because it was a narcissist ‘chairing’ the meeting, or my thinking “why the fk am I here” when they’re talking about other stuff that does not concern / involve me. Or, I was bored 😉

            I volunteered because I believed in the ethos of the organisation (so did another number of people who also volunteered). I have shared on this blog that they (narcissist bosses) did not treat volunteers well. I believe the majority of the long-term ones have now left. Volunteers are not given the same rights as paid staff but should be ‘revered’ – and they are in other organisations, but not in the one I did work for.

            BTW, regarding email communications / contact by work, it is not allowed (laws in UK) unless it is specified otherwise for “good” reason to contact outside working hours. Is there something similar where you are working? (not from the sound of it!). Am I correct to sense that you’re stressed RE: work at present? Is there some kind of work-life balance strategy available?

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I meant false contrition but I wrote constriction. This time it was not autocorrect but my constricted subconscious asking for help.

    4. Alexissmith2016 says:

      Hahahah SP I know and everyone else alwsys seems so interested? And continue asking questions when the meeting time is up? What? Why? Let’s go I have plenty of work to do. When I say work, I mean drinking wine and having sex on car bonnets – well according to HG

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I particularly feel mortified at these instances that create a suspension of universal time when some bright mind spots a typo in the document (shared on the screen) and now everyone is trying to amend the typo by suggesting better syntactic options. Not comparable though to those entertaining moments that we are all graciously awarded by the Dean when he doesn’t remember the rules and asks advice whether we can just vote or we need a motion to second to vote or we can just die slowly sitting in there watching our lives being wasted away…
        Anyway, what’s your job again, Alexis? That sounds attractive and I think I have the qualifications.

  29. Sweetest Perfection says:

    I have been debating over this all morning. He shouldn’t have used violence, he behaved in a very paternalistic way and JP also had a voice to defend herself. However from my point of view, the real violence started with the joke. And insidious joke directed a a person’s condition from a superiority stance (psychology of humor superiority), too easy, too cheap, too low. Regardless of whether JP is a narcissist or not, I am sure it felt horrible to be exposed like that when you had to endure the pain of going through the condition itself. I felt immediately sorry for her as soon as I heard that joke. I am sorry for Will, he’s gonna pay for this error. And, I cannot believe HG’s light speed response!!!

  30. Bubbles says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,
    Thank you for your speedy analysis of Will Smith and his precious Jada. I went right off this couple after seeing them repeatedly on the Red Table Talk.
    Nobody really cared about the Oscars, until this sequence of events had occurred.
    I couldn’t believe what I was seeing
    His behaviour was uncouth, juvenile and showed he lacked any anger control. He swearing was deplorable to say the least, which no one seems to have addressed or taken on board.
    What I found astounding was that no one apprehended him for his very public assault and attack on Chris Rock and then they preceded to award him an Oscar. Where was security ? Why was he not escorted out?
    Her narcissism showed and I can see how he reacted. Powerful stuff!
    This is highly unacceptable behaviour and does not display a great image to young impressionable minds. It basically says, you can do and say whatever ever you want and get away with it, even at a grandiose event like the Oscars. Comedy is great and funny, but at events like these, they always have a go at each other and are known for it. Personally I’m not a fan.
    He could have just let it go, but no, he had to prove a point. There are other ways of handling the situation that could’ve made him look the better person. I found it appalling on so many levels.

    We’re so politically correct, that it becomes incorrect and immoral on so many levels.
    Thank you again Mr Tudor, your summation was excellent.
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  31. WiserNow says:

    You are so on the ball, HG, providing information about the latest news.

    Will Smith’s reaction and the altercation was surprising. The joke was insensitive but I didn’t think it was that offensive. I always thought Will is a narcissist or perhaps narcissistic. I wouldn’t have said he is empathic.

    I thought Chris Rock stayed remarkably calm. Maybe that’s due to his years of experience as a stand-up comedian.

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Stand-up was what he did best! Haha

      1. WiserNow says:

        Yes SP, if Will’s left hook really connected, he would have been looking at stars, just not the Hollywood kind… haha

        1. WiserNow says:

          *make that right hook instead

    2. WhoCares says:

      “I thought Chris Rock stayed remarkably calm. Maybe that’s due to his years of experience as a stand-up comedian.”

      Could definitely be professional expertise. His emphatic statement that he just had the “shit” beat out of him was a bit over the top. It was one slap. That could have been to counteract the internal wounding (if Rock is a narcissist) by trumping the reaction of all to Will Smith striking him. Also, there would be much sympathy fuel on the faces of the crowd looking at him and feeling for him, in the moment…that would help him feel fueled and maintain calmness, aided by years of experience.

      1. WiserNow says:

        It’s interesting when you consider the reactions of each person in detail with thoughts about fuel and how their narcissistic traits were expressed.

        I also thought that one slap wasn’t getting the shit beat out of him.

        By saying he just got the shit beat out of him, I thought it sounded like he was saying to the audience, “hey, did you see what just happened!? This guy’s out of control and he just whacked me because of a joke.” I thought he was exaggerating the slap in that moment in a defensive way to gain the audience’s sympathy and support. He was shaken but held his ground without hitting back in a highly charged moment. I thought him saying that wasn’t entirely accurate but understandable after getting physically struck in the face quite forcefully.

        I also thought it was a professionally important event for the industry. All the people involved had probably been thinking for weeks about their appearance, behaviour, outfits, speeches, etc and were dressed glamorously and on their best behaviour. I don’t think anyone expected that to happen, so it was a shock. Chris Rock was probably stunned and was thinking out loud trying to make sense of it while also trying to maintain a sense of protocol as the host on stage.

    3. Violetta says:

      I think he got bullied a lot as a kid, and used humor to cope. A lot of comedians grow up that way.

      1. WiserNow says:

        I can see how that could happen. If he found that making people laugh gave him some control over the bullying, he would have used humour as a defence.

        Before this Oscar smackdown, I didn’t know much detail about the backgrounds or private lives of Will, Jada and Chris. Before this incident, they all appeared to me as over-confident celebrities that reached ‘success’ in ‘showbusiness’ and were narcissistic and ambitious to be able to do that.

        When you look at each person’s background in more detail, their behaviour makes more sense.

    4. MP says:

      I have read articles where insiders said Chris Rock was physically shaking as he was leaving the stage. Wouldn’t most people though if someone just went up the stage and slapped you and then yelled at you? Chris Rock had to drop out of high school and get a GED because he was bullied and beaten in school when he went to a majority white high school. He is most likely an empath in my opinion. He had therapies because he has trouble standing up for himself. Will Smith would probably not have the audacity to do that if it was Dwayne Johnson or someone he knew would fight back who made the joke. Chris Rock said that WS just smacked the shit out of him. He didn’t say beat the shit out of him. Chris Rock then made a joke at an after party that he got punched in the face by Muhammad Ali but he didn’t even get a scratch.

      1. WiserNow says:

        Hi MP,
        It’s good to see you. I hope you’ve been well.

        After watching the clip again I saw that Chris Rock said, “smacked the shit out of me” and not “beat the shit out of me”. And yes, I think being hit in the face like that and shouted out in anger would make most people feel shaken.

        I can’t tell if Chris is an empath or not. I don’t know enough about him. To me, there’s a cockiness about him but he doesn’t come across as arrogant. In photos, he has an unemotional stare rather than warmth behind the eyes. Just from the way he reacted on the night and the days following, my guess is that he’s not a narcissist, but overall, I’m not sure.

        I get the impression there’s more to the Oscar slap than meets the eye. I think Will’s reaction was based on more than just the joke. There were rumours that Jada and Chris became very close and had an affair when they worked on the Madagascar films together. This wouldn’t surprise me knowing Jada has had other affairs and has openly admitted it’s her choice and regards the marriage as an open one.

        When I consider the slap now, it’s ironic. Will Smith said he always felt like a coward for not defending his mother in his childhood. Well, he stood up to prove he’s not a coward, but it’s also shown how his emotional thinking was distorted and how physical violence can affect things.

        He may no longer feel like a coward because he proved he can hit someone to protect his wife, however, his many efforts to date to show he loves his family, to entertain people, and the Oscar win have been eclipsed by this one act of physical aggression over a joke.

        The incident is quite interesting in relation to human behaviour.

        1. MP says:

          Hello WiserNow, I am not sure if Rock is an Empath or not either. Although I think he might be an empath, I can’t say I’m certain. But I’m almost certain he’s not a narcissist especially with how he has been dealing with the current incident. He told his audiences in his recent shows that he’s not going to talk about what happened, he’s still processing it, if they expect to hear about it in the show they have to lower their expectations etc. He hasn’t been out there controlling the narrative or spewing hate. He also refused the polices’ offer to arrest WS that evening. He was also very honest that he can’t see forgiving Will Smith right now and he’s still emotional. What Will Smith did was an assault, regular people would have faced legal action. If it was a fan that went on stage and slapped CR he would have gotten legal consequences regardless of CR saying to not go after him. Also with how CR maintained decorum even after being slapped and even went back on the stage to do his job giving trophies. It does show empathic traits.

          Rock has Non-verbal Learning Disorder which includes difficulty reading social cues, facial expressions, body language and even lacking in spatial skills which causes them to bump on other people often or be in someone’s space. The SNL comedian Michael Che explained that Rock’s disorder is why when Will Smith started to approach Rock with his head down Rock was smiling and put his hands behind him and said Uh-Oh instead of moving away or readying his hands to possibly protect him. I suspect his disorder also caused him to be bullied so much in high school aside from the other factors he mentioned which are attending a predominantly white high school and being small stature. Chris Rock has been seeing two therapists to help him with his disorder and he also opened up about seeing therapists to learn to stand up for himself. He thinks his disorder contributed to why his marriage failed. The upside of his disorder though is that they are usually excellent with verbal skills which he uses in his comedy.

          I don’t know if Rock and Jada had any relationship in the past. I think the incident was so whacked that people try to come up with anything that could explain better something that is so crazy like that. I think the biggest factor is that there is a narcissist involved (Jada) and whenever they are around crazy and irrational things happen.

          Also this one is not for you WN but just for general opinions that I have read not just here but in comments sections on articles, the 2016 joke Rock made about Jada boycotting the Oscars when they’re not even invited was actually a very popular joke to a lot of people because Rock called them out for being hypocrites. I didn’t think it was personal but more of a social satire. He makes fun of so many famous people for a living, it’s not just Jada. So I think it’s misrepresentation to say that he has been picking on Jada for a long time just because of that joke.

  32. WhoCares says:

    Thank-you HG! Your analysis made my morning. AND I got to send this to my younger adult cousins (their father is a narc and they can’t see it)…they like Will Smith, so this is a perfect way to expose them to some of your work!!

    1. Asp Emp says:

      Excellent to read this, WhoCares 🙂

    2. WhoCares says:

      This is SUCH a good ‘in’ to exposing the younger generation to your work.

      (God, I feel old stating that.)

      1. WiserNow says:

        Age is just a number WC. Personally, I’m glad I grew up in a generation where kids weren’t exposed to social media and porn before they were old enough to buy their own sweets.

  33. Asp Emp says:

    I saw this clip on BBC News. It was unbelievable. Yet, not surprising. To observe the behaviours of an empath and a narcissist – how the narcissist seems to recognise that the empath is ‘inflamed’ with anger, provoking them to to the next level of anger and also suggests ‘Are you gonna do summat about that?!’. Wow, very interesting to observe.

    Thanks so much, HG for this session 🙂 x

  34. lickemtomorrow says:

    I need to listen again … I got called away during!

  35. Sweetest Perfection says:

    This is amazing. I was gonna post something when I first saw it last night but I thought, nah, HG already has too much on his plate. Never enough!!!!

    1. WhoCares says:

      Sweetest Perfection,

      I wouldn’t even have known the Oscars happened if it weren’t for HG’s analysis this morning hahaha, I hadn’t even checked the weather forecast yet…HG’s response time to this was incredible.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Right? It’s really eerie.

      2. Sweetest Perfection says:

        WC, I am extremely absentminded/distracted too. The following morning, I asked my husband: King Richard? I thought WS was nominated for his movie about Serena and Venus Williams! (which we just watched a couple of weeks ago). My husband 🙄
        In my defense, there’s a MacBeth too! I was confused.

    2. Rebecca says:


      We were talking about it today at work. I saw it on YT because I don’t care about Rewards shows. I have to say Chris had it coming,showed a lack of emotional empathy making a joke about a medical condition someone might be sensitive about. It’s not the first time Chris has put his foot in his mouth and it won’t be his last.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I didn’t watch the ceremony either Rebecca. In fact, I was listening to music when my husband started calling my name screaming holy shit, Will Smith! I say it looks like it’s not the first time he may have been assaulted for a joke like that…

        1. Rebecca says:

          SP and Bubbles,
          I used to like Chris,but my opinion of him changed when he made a comment about white children needing to be killed or shot more….after that, I found his humour not funny anymore. I’m usually not an uptight person, but joking about kids dying isn’t something that should be joked about.

          Asp Emp,
          You’ll probably find the link and post it here if Chris comment I mentioned. Thanks ahead of time.

          1. Rebecca says:

            Forgot to say….it’s why i felt Chris Rock had that slap coming and long overdue.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Rebecca, thank you for the heads-up. I read just one newspaper (today’s) article about Chris. I thought to myself, I have read enough.

            I think since the incident, people are beginning to think ‘hold, on’ summat’s not right here’.

            Interesting though, there was a programme about comedians and they were discussing that some of them are aware of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. Others are wary. Some do not care.

            I am just thankful that HG started the Will / Jada Smith series as soon after the Oscars incident occurred. HG knows enough about people and how the “systems” ‘play’ out, he has seen it time and time again. He also knows how people would respond to such news. Yes, it has been very interesting indeed.

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Rebecca, that is a very cruel joke I agree. I do agree it is tasteless… and yet, it is cleverly constructed. With that joke, Chris Rock is clearly mimicking the hyperbolic satire that Jonathan Swift (yes, the author of Gulliver’s Travels) wrote in 1729, popularly known as “A Modest Proposal,” though the original title is longer and shocking. In that satire, Swift was proposing the aberrant solution of Irish impoverished people selling their children to rich people as food to ease their economic problems. It was obviously an exaggeration, but he wanted to 1) shock the audience and 2) call the attention on the lack of empathy towards poor people and also criticize British policies over Ireland. Rock did the same thing. He tried to shock the audience by making a heartless statement about white kids, to make you reflect on the fact that most people would get easily offended if targeting white kids, but don’t do anything when black kids are being killed every day. In general, it is very sad to use the death of kids as a joke I am in total agreement with you, but it is a way to call for social justice. I still cannot find anything smart or funny about the Jada joke anyway.

      2. Bubbles says:

        Dearest Rebecca,
        I read an article whereby Chris Rock’s reference to GI Jane was merely intended as Jade being as “badass” as her and I believe did was not make a pun at her condition and expense because he was unaware as were so many people.

        Comedians don’t study each individual, they just don’t have time and have always walked a very fine tightrope.
        Personally, I felt it was an innocent joke that went haywire.

        Will Smith could’ve addressed Jada’s condition in his acceptance speech and ended up with a win win situation.
        Personally, I think she “rocks her look and should be an advocate in helping others to promote and achieve a positive outlook with the condition.
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    3. Asp Emp says:

      SP, oh, you made me laugh when I see your new avi!!!!!!! Hahahahaha. Good one 🙂

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        AE, I have a cut from the video and the picture doesn’t do justice to the whole gesture of utter despite she makes after Rock’s joke!!!

        1. WhoCares says:


          The Will Smith Avi is even better! Perfect.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Thanks WC. Yes, I bet he wishes he could make everyone forget!!!!

          2. Asp Emp says:

            SP, you new avi, under the heading of this article title – I am pretty sure that is what can be considered as an anal probe that Will is holding 😉 Too delish!

          3. WhoCares says:

            ~ Regret. It’s an Empath thing. ~

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