Off topic, but at my exercise class today they played this depeche mode remix world in my eyes and of course thought of you HG 😆 I thought you might want a listen… https://youtu.be/SDjSajaxxGw
Some of the comments kick ass on these articles … often one of my favourite parts … and I’ll almost always peruse the comments after an article. I use them as a type of temperature gauge in terms of the general public’s thoughts and feelings about a particular issue. They often generate more interesting information as well.
Piers will be rejoicing in the potential ‘downfall’ of the Duchess. Too bad she’s also like a cat with nine lives and I’ll be reviewing the next video to see just how many of those she has lost!
Ah, so that means yes then!
I wonder how many victims and empaths are also aspie’s considering one of the traits commonly listed is being taken advantage of or bullied.
Pete, you are absolutely correct. People on the autism spectrum tend to be picked on / ‘selected’. It is something that I found difficult as part of my journey on KTN, processing the knowledge as to why I was subject to bullying by others. Quite a number of people with Aspergers can be diagnosed late in life because it was / is not ‘well-known’ (understood) by those in the medical profession. Just like narcissism.
Then, again, people have hinted that I am the narcissist in the past.
Yeah aspergers can be seen as narcissism because they can seem to lack empathy, but its more like extreme introversion. I know that because I am one. I post on a popular asperger’s forum but not under pete. I’ve joined a kickboxing class because someone told me that’s how he stopped giving off the vibes that attract the bullies.
Thank you for sharing that – about introversion. I think that is something I can relate to. Yet to some, it may appear that I am not an introvert 🙂 I am glad to read that you do / have joined an aspie forum. Hope the kickboxing class gives you good vibes 🙂 You’ll be beating kangeroos at their ‘game’ at this rate 😉 Thank you for sharing what you have to say here.
@Pete
I think it’s also because from what I’ve read people on the spectrum tend to be quite candid and neurotypicals tend to feel “telling it how it is” is lacking empathy…
It’s part of the reasons why I’ve thought I might be on the spectrum or at least borderline (like I just missed being on the spectrum)
Witch, what a coincidence, I posted something about ’emphatic’ last night 🙂 There are online self-tests for Aspergers / Autism if you wished to find out and have the option to follow it up with a formal diagnosis?
@Asp
i find a lot of people to be tedious the way they want you to pretend that you’re interested in them when … I’m not! I just need something from you in this moment, sorry but it’s true. When it’s a social setting then I’ll be social .. when it’s not, just give me what I’ve asked for so I can get on with what I came to do. Like why is that a bad thing?
They always want you to waste time with “good morning” and all this shit, like why?
But anyway I’ve learnt to mask so..
Witch, thank you for your response. Yes, I find that either I like somebody, or not. I do not pretend either way. That is how I always have been. I don’t use people in the way narcissists do as I do not have Prime Aims in the way HG explains what they are. I understand what you mean in the ‘good morning’ thing. I’d get told off by my line manager for not responding back, as you say, it is probably an aspie thing – not a narcissist ‘thing’ where it is about asserting their control / manipulation. Having said that, I did nod back to my manager but it was not “good enough” (LOL). Seriously? I understand RE: ‘masking’, I think it is more common than people realise. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it 🙂
lol that was me about 20 years ago. I used to get fired for stuff like that.(not responding to pleasantries) I learnt the p’s and q’s and get much more positive relationships with people now. Had to laugh when you only deigned to nod instead of responding verbally 😀
Pete, yes, thank you for sharing – especially about saying that you learned to, shall I suggest, to recognise the behaviours within yourself and adjusting them as you got older? I did this myself too. However, I learned so much more about that, and, myself by being on KTN site. I also carried out the online test for PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) – I commented on that in HG’s ‘To Control Is To Cope’ article. I found reading up on invalidation trauma to be very insightful too. It actually clarifies my inner ‘hurt’ self that I was not able to ‘see’ or release (father’s passing = loss of my validator) but I had to remove the noose of the narcissist muvver first. Thank you for listening, Pete. I appreciate your thoughts 🙂
@Witch, this is interesting, I think we’ve discussed our antipathy toward the so called “niceties” of life. They only serve to slow things down and I have found that it is only those I care about that I wish to do them with, like people “earn” that because I actually care about them. That doesn’t sound very nice but it’s true. It’s a matter of prioritizing where my time goes more than anything. But I also have learned to mask it when necessary.
@Asp
The worse thing is I’m a hypocrite! 🤣 not over “good mornings”
But like when people send emails
And instead of saying “hi witch”
They just say “witch…”
Why?
At this point just don’t even bother type my name
Hi Witch 🙂 I would suggest that it is ok to be a hypocrite in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. I would also consider the concept of appropriateness when it comes to addressing ie emails and so on. Sometimes a ‘hi’ is not necessarily appropriate in work related emails, when it comes to friends / communicating on other platforms, it could be considered appropriate. I know exactly what you are saying though. It can come across as insulting in some way, I do understand. But it is also something that ‘bothers’ aspies and we may respond with a ‘fk you’ because of the way we think (not feel) about it. A narcissist would “insist” (manipulation, assertion of control in some way or another) on a response, whereas an aspie would not but would react similar to a narcissist, I suppose? The difference between an aspie and a narcissist, an aspie can learn, at times, forget (depending on the LOCE at that present moment in time) but it is not necessarily deliberate. Sometimes the differences between an aspie and a narcissist is difficult to spot for those who lack the observation skills and the understanding of the characteristics of both neurodiversities. What are your thoughts on that, Witch?
Just to clarify it doesn’t have to be a “hi” it could be a “hello” or “dear” but when someone addresses me by name only in an email it gives me the impression that I’m bothering them and they are asserting authority by addressing me by starting the email with my name (I’ve only ever found that police officers do this and I don’t get it)
But I’m sure in a lot of emails I’m equally straight to the point in my own way, which is why I say I’m a hypocrite.
I’ve been told I come across as controlling so I know that other people think there is something “wrong” with me but at the same time I’m like eeerrmm but my ideas are good though so they should see that and let me have my own way? 🤣
Yes for me it is also about time but also energy…
I’m not like HG, I don’t wake up at 4am ready to talk to people.
If I could I’d wake up earliest 9am…and still lay in bed for an hour. I’m really not that enthusiastic about life
So when i need to get things done I’m focusing my energy on that, I don’t have the energy to think about other things
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Oh, HG, your alliteration….
Top notch eh?
Always, but this article gives you a run for your money:
Stop picking carnivorous penis plants, Cambodian environmental officials plead
By Patrick Pester published 2 days ago
People picking penis pitcher plant poses problems.
What? As the penis counter, I should have known about this. Thanks, Violetta! Haha, some people…
Off topic, but at my exercise class today they played this depeche mode remix world in my eyes and of course thought of you HG 😆 I thought you might want a listen…
https://youtu.be/SDjSajaxxGw
Some of the comments kick ass on these articles … often one of my favourite parts … and I’ll almost always peruse the comments after an article. I use them as a type of temperature gauge in terms of the general public’s thoughts and feelings about a particular issue. They often generate more interesting information as well.
Piers will be rejoicing in the potential ‘downfall’ of the Duchess. Too bad she’s also like a cat with nine lives and I’ll be reviewing the next video to see just how many of those she has lost!
LET, I liked how you worded it “temperature gauge”, laughing at that. Yes, I too, look forward to HG’s forthcoming video on this 🙂
Does asp stand for asperger’s?
Pete, I can lie to you and say ‘no’, it stands for snake 😉
Ah, so that means yes then!
I wonder how many victims and empaths are also aspie’s considering one of the traits commonly listed is being taken advantage of or bullied.
Pete, you are absolutely correct. People on the autism spectrum tend to be picked on / ‘selected’. It is something that I found difficult as part of my journey on KTN, processing the knowledge as to why I was subject to bullying by others. Quite a number of people with Aspergers can be diagnosed late in life because it was / is not ‘well-known’ (understood) by those in the medical profession. Just like narcissism.
Then, again, people have hinted that I am the narcissist in the past.
Yeah aspergers can be seen as narcissism because they can seem to lack empathy, but its more like extreme introversion. I know that because I am one. I post on a popular asperger’s forum but not under pete. I’ve joined a kickboxing class because someone told me that’s how he stopped giving off the vibes that attract the bullies.
Thank you for sharing that – about introversion. I think that is something I can relate to. Yet to some, it may appear that I am not an introvert 🙂 I am glad to read that you do / have joined an aspie forum. Hope the kickboxing class gives you good vibes 🙂 You’ll be beating kangeroos at their ‘game’ at this rate 😉 Thank you for sharing what you have to say here.
@Pete
I think it’s also because from what I’ve read people on the spectrum tend to be quite candid and neurotypicals tend to feel “telling it how it is” is lacking empathy…
It’s part of the reasons why I’ve thought I might be on the spectrum or at least borderline (like I just missed being on the spectrum)
Yeah that can happen, most people with asperger’s learn not to do that.
Witch, what a coincidence, I posted something about ’emphatic’ last night 🙂 There are online self-tests for Aspergers / Autism if you wished to find out and have the option to follow it up with a formal diagnosis?
@Asp
i find a lot of people to be tedious the way they want you to pretend that you’re interested in them when … I’m not! I just need something from you in this moment, sorry but it’s true. When it’s a social setting then I’ll be social .. when it’s not, just give me what I’ve asked for so I can get on with what I came to do. Like why is that a bad thing?
They always want you to waste time with “good morning” and all this shit, like why?
But anyway I’ve learnt to mask so..
Witch, thank you for your response. Yes, I find that either I like somebody, or not. I do not pretend either way. That is how I always have been. I don’t use people in the way narcissists do as I do not have Prime Aims in the way HG explains what they are. I understand what you mean in the ‘good morning’ thing. I’d get told off by my line manager for not responding back, as you say, it is probably an aspie thing – not a narcissist ‘thing’ where it is about asserting their control / manipulation. Having said that, I did nod back to my manager but it was not “good enough” (LOL). Seriously? I understand RE: ‘masking’, I think it is more common than people realise. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on it 🙂
lol that was me about 20 years ago. I used to get fired for stuff like that.(not responding to pleasantries) I learnt the p’s and q’s and get much more positive relationships with people now. Had to laugh when you only deigned to nod instead of responding verbally 😀
Pete, yes, thank you for sharing – especially about saying that you learned to, shall I suggest, to recognise the behaviours within yourself and adjusting them as you got older? I did this myself too. However, I learned so much more about that, and, myself by being on KTN site. I also carried out the online test for PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) – I commented on that in HG’s ‘To Control Is To Cope’ article. I found reading up on invalidation trauma to be very insightful too. It actually clarifies my inner ‘hurt’ self that I was not able to ‘see’ or release (father’s passing = loss of my validator) but I had to remove the noose of the narcissist muvver first. Thank you for listening, Pete. I appreciate your thoughts 🙂
@Witch, this is interesting, I think we’ve discussed our antipathy toward the so called “niceties” of life. They only serve to slow things down and I have found that it is only those I care about that I wish to do them with, like people “earn” that because I actually care about them. That doesn’t sound very nice but it’s true. It’s a matter of prioritizing where my time goes more than anything. But I also have learned to mask it when necessary.
@Asp
The worse thing is I’m a hypocrite! 🤣 not over “good mornings”
But like when people send emails
And instead of saying “hi witch”
They just say “witch…”
Why?
At this point just don’t even bother type my name
Hi Witch 🙂 I would suggest that it is ok to be a hypocrite in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. I would also consider the concept of appropriateness when it comes to addressing ie emails and so on. Sometimes a ‘hi’ is not necessarily appropriate in work related emails, when it comes to friends / communicating on other platforms, it could be considered appropriate. I know exactly what you are saying though. It can come across as insulting in some way, I do understand. But it is also something that ‘bothers’ aspies and we may respond with a ‘fk you’ because of the way we think (not feel) about it. A narcissist would “insist” (manipulation, assertion of control in some way or another) on a response, whereas an aspie would not but would react similar to a narcissist, I suppose? The difference between an aspie and a narcissist, an aspie can learn, at times, forget (depending on the LOCE at that present moment in time) but it is not necessarily deliberate. Sometimes the differences between an aspie and a narcissist is difficult to spot for those who lack the observation skills and the understanding of the characteristics of both neurodiversities. What are your thoughts on that, Witch?
@asp
Just to clarify it doesn’t have to be a “hi” it could be a “hello” or “dear” but when someone addresses me by name only in an email it gives me the impression that I’m bothering them and they are asserting authority by addressing me by starting the email with my name (I’ve only ever found that police officers do this and I don’t get it)
But I’m sure in a lot of emails I’m equally straight to the point in my own way, which is why I say I’m a hypocrite.
I’ve been told I come across as controlling so I know that other people think there is something “wrong” with me but at the same time I’m like eeerrmm but my ideas are good though so they should see that and let me have my own way? 🤣
@A Victor
Yes for me it is also about time but also energy…
I’m not like HG, I don’t wake up at 4am ready to talk to people.
If I could I’d wake up earliest 9am…and still lay in bed for an hour. I’m really not that enthusiastic about life
So when i need to get things done I’m focusing my energy on that, I don’t have the energy to think about other things
I enjoy reading comments here and other places.
People can be quite witty and intelligent.