What the Super Empath Does?
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I have been thinking for a while about the various schools of Empath and how they are labelled.
The term Co-Dependent has been around for a long time. As far as I know, it’s always referred to tolerance (and explicit or implicit encouragement) of a partner’s unhealthy behaviour. HG seems to use it to refer to tolerance (and perhaps unconscious encouragement) of demeaning narcissistic behaviour.
I think that originally his Standard Empath school was just called ‘Empath’ and ‘standard’ was added to avoid confusion. This classification seems to cover those who feel extra empathy for others, including strangers, but who don’t have the extra vulnerabilities of a co-dependent. Standard Es can still become ensnared but they have more capacity to leave a dysfunctional relationship.
Perhaps noticing that there were empaths who fit the standard model but who also showed a greater propensity to challenge, he created a further classification and decided to call it Super. And then he realised that some empaths seemed to feel the emotions of others on a deeper, more visceral level, to the degree that he needed to add Contagion school.
The term ‘Empath’ on its own seems to be a fairly neutral, descriptive term. It’s neither positive or negative and simply identifies an unusually empathic person. Adding ‘standard’ makes it no more positive or negative. The term Contagion is also descriptive, in that it describes the way emotions are passed from one person to another, and while we use contagion to describe the passing of disease, we also say yawns are contagious, so contagion is not a negative term in and of itself – it’s neutral.
The term co-dependent does sound kind of nice – implying togetherness, mutual support – but has never been used as a positive or even a neutral term. It always carries a negative connotation. Those who have this profile are often very strong individuals in many ways who have a range of positive and wonderful personal strengths that others (including other empaths) don’t possess. However, their co-dependent behaviour (and thinking) is a negative, a weak spot, as it leads them into and keeps them in circumstances which are ultimately bad for them and/or their partners.
Super, on the other hand, is an exclusively positive term. It has no negative connotations at all as a stand-alone term and connotes attributes like great, amazing, strong, achieving, going beyond. Out of all the empathic classifications it is the only one that has an automatic positive association. Its link with Supernova, another positive term, adds to its appeal. It’s unsurprising that when readers self-classify, they lean heavily towards this school. Why wouldn’t someone want to have these wonder terms associated with themselves.
In the US, ‘super’ is sometimes used instead of very, as in super excited, super friendly. Are Super Empaths very empathic? Co-dependents are very empathic. They have an enormous amount of empathy and are high in many empathic traits. And Standard Empaths also have more empathy than most people, so they are also very empathic. Supers don’t appear to be a lot more empathic than the other schools.
HG sometimes refers to this group’s strength. They are high in narcissistic traits and therefore have narcissistic traits that are widely viewed as strengths of character. They have or can access traits like like fearlessness, independence, self-belief and drive. These are clearly positive traits; they are super traits. They no doubt give a super empath additional capacity in difficult situations.
However, narcissism encompasses a range of traits, many of which are not at all positive. Some of these would be considered weaknesses. Traits like sensitivity to criticism, paranoia, defensiveness. And when activated, these feelings can lead to aggressiveness, assertions of of superiority, boundary transgressions, outbursts of anger and even cruelty. These behaviours are decidedly not super. Additionally, a super empath’s narcissistic traits have the potential to supress their empathic traits. At these times they’d be the least empathic of all the empaths.
However, I do think the combination of positive narcissistic traits along with empathic traits is a good thing and it does make Super Empaths strong individuals. Like all the other empaths, they are are still susceptible to being ensnared by narcissists so the more strength they have the better.
For myself, my empathic side does keep my own narcissism in check, and in some environments, it’s not very hard to do. But at other times, in particular situations, the narcissism surfaces and while sometimes it’s the positive narcissistic traits, sometimes it’s the ones I am less comfortable with. So I have decided to think of myself as a Narcissistic Empath. Doing so encourages me to be more aware and critical of my own behaviour and to try to assert more control over my instinctive reactions. It reminds me of my own weak spots – my susceptibility to feeling criticised, my defensiveness, my potential to react in a way that damages my relationships with others, in a way that damages others. I recognise others may feel the Super term is good for them, and encourages them to be strong, which is great.
While on the topic of Super, I am going to make a list of traits that I think are SUPER-TRAITS:
Honesty, kindness, loyalty, fairness, supportiveness, self-discipline, professionalism, courage, gratitude, enthusiasm, considerateness, discretion, generosity, understanding, responsibility, nurturance, pro-activeness, creativity, openness, adaptability, perseverance, humility, respect.
Annaamel, aloha from another (former) “narcissistic empath.” I believe you have latched to this idea that people (including me) self-identify to terms that sound positive. (Ie people self-identify as magnet empath or super empath because it boosts their ego.) Obviously I can only speak for myself, but for me, I know this is not true. I have not thought ‘wow that sounds good’ and crafted a delusion. For me, reading HG’s descriptions has been validation of my reality. It is the ‘aha’ moment of someone finally describing me with accuracy. Perhaps we should consider how scary it is that he can categorize us so well…
However, as part of this process of discovery, I have realized just how many narcissistic traits I was exhibiting. No doubt, they were worse when living in the narcissist’s fantasy land. (“We’re so great and they’re terrible at life!” I did that for a long time.) The relationship between me and my narcissist (a decade) only worked so well because I went full narcissist, essentially. Most of that narcissism was rooted in him yet 1) I have that capacity and 2) certain narcissistic behaviors were solely exhibited by me, particularly the vulnerable/paranoid ones.
So is a “Super Empath” also highly narcissistic? Yes, HG says as much too. But I can proudly say that waking up to the narcissistic abuse is allowing me to grow up and shed my own narcissistic stuff. I think I might even end up as a “normal” – not special, kind to most, protecting my own. Healing is pretty awesome.
Aloha Jay S.
Quite a few readers on the forum classify themselves as Super Empaths and at times members have discussed this phenomenon. This thread provides examples of both further down. But I did mention it in my post above and I referred to it in the magnet thread as well so I can understand you feeling like I have latched onto this concept and I can also appreciate you want to respond.
I can see how you view the situation, and I accept that you have read the descriptions provided in articles or maybe books or videos and felt they have described you accurately. I certainly don’t think you are trying to be manipulative or disingenuous or that you are pretending to be something you are not. I just think it’s tricky to self classify – because it’s incredibly hard to be totally, objectively self aware. If it were me, and I didn’t know for sure but I suspected, I’d be using phrases like ‘I think I might have experienced a supernova’, or ‘I could be a super empath’, or ‘I think I might be a magnet.’ But maybe that’s just me. But it just makes sense to me to be less certain.
To make it all a bit more difficult, it’s my understanding that our traits, whether narcissistic or empathic, are permanent. We can’t move in and out of our schools or cadres. For this reason, I don’t think you can be a ‘former’ narcissistic/super empath. Using HG’s classifications, if you have strong empathy and strong narcissistic traits, then you are a super empath, otherwise you could be a standard empath, contagion empath or co-dependent empath or a combination of these. Or you could be normal, narcissistic or a narcissist – but you can’t move from one group to another in any of these classifications. The classification does not change even if your circumstances change or you go through an enlightening or liberating or even exorcising experience. All your traits remain. Your classification remains. If you were a super empath a month ago, you are still one today. If you are a ‘normal’ now, you were also that a month ago.
It is also my understanding that our particular combination of traits affects and is expressed in all areas of our lives – and it’s more the particular circumstances that determine which traits are expressed and which stay fairly quiet. If we have a particular school and cadre, say Super Empath, or Co-dependent Empath or Normal – our reactions will reflect the particular traits that give us that classification. This will occur in our intimate relationships, our friendships, our work relationships and our general social interactions.
HG is able to classify people so accurately because he has spent his whole life studying empaths so he can better keep them under his control. He’s observant and analytical, so he would have seen both variations and similarities across empathic reactions and attachments. It’d be these differences and similarities in characteristics that would have helped him create his different schools.
I am glad you are feeling more content within your marriage and you have felt a sense of strength and satisfaction through challenging problematic behaviour from your husband and his family, and you feel much more relaxed and peaceful within yourself.
annaamel.
Very interesting blog.
However, don’t narcissists think in black and white terms? All good or all bad?
Sure empaths have narcissistic traits as well, but surely some also have a dark side too that they feel they have to hide from people?
Is it possible that a super empath could also have dark triad traits? I read there is a light triad too. What if someone scores highly on both and is also highly empathic? There must be hybrids out there as well? Not everyone fits neatly into a box? Surely it is not that simple?
Also what is good or bad depends on your culture and social norms. Everywhere is different. For example a super empath who could also be promiscuous?
In some societies they see empaths as being “shamans” for example.
Just a thought on it all.
Cannot count the times, I told to an afraid and/or sad Empath: “Listen to me! Do you really believe this shit? Do you? Don´t be silly, look: ….” and I explained them why they are lied to, why they are betrayed, conned and fooled. Just presented the pure, hard (sometimes scientific) facts and explained them. How many times I told them “Don´t be silly, that´s not your fault!” I use to blame myself too but not so often and not so much as other Empaths. I´m a bit more analytical, rational, that may be the due to Carrier cadre.
I think that the Super has just a stronger self defense mechanism than the other Empaths. For example: I remember when I was with my ex Upper Lesser A, I never took the blame. He blamed me for everything, even things that were completely non-sens and made up! It had nothing to do with reality. Maybe some Empaths would think deeper about that and even take the blame. I did not! I cried, like any other Empath cried many tears, but I cried because of the injustice, because of anger, because I knew that what he blamed me for was UTTER BULLSHIT! It was unfair, unjust, evil and a big fat lie! No matter whether it was Patri Narc or my ex, I did not take the blame, I knew deep within that what they say and what they blame me for is just BULLSHIT! So, I fought back. I stood up for myself! This may happen im my case earlier than in other Empaths. The fight-back may be stronger and the escape earlier.
There´s another thing the Super Empath does: Creating a completely new kind of cucumber salad! This time with curry, turmeric, dill and coriander! It was an experiment. Unfortunately the cucumbers are not own growth yet, they came in the veggie box I had ordered, those are veggies nobody wants because they are not suitable for the European market (there are some idiot rules, how veggies and fruits must look like in idiot EU), so instead of letting those veggies and fruits rot on the fields, you can order them in special veggie-boxes, called “saved veggies and fruits”. So, no food is wasted! The dill and the coriander though, are already own growth, from the garden. 😎😊
I wish I could send you cucumbers, Leela! We have a lot this summer. I’ve read about that aesthetic discrimination in veggies and fruits, outrageous!! You do a good thing consuming the undeservingly treated as “rejects.”
Thank you, SP! You know, these veggies taste really great! No problem with them, except for the aesthetics. 🤪 My own cucumbers are on the way 😉 Here, you can harvest them from mid July to about mid September. And no matter how they will look like: my own cucumbers taste very good! 😎
Wonderful, Leela! We are waiting on the tomatoes at any moment now! We have the traditional garden and three hydroponic farm stands. The cucumbers in the stands grow all year round and are suuuuper soft, with hardly any seeds. But I have to confess my husband is the green thumb, I cook what he grows. I can’t exchange recipes here because HG hates cook talk (except if the ingredients include empaths) but just a quick suggestion for cucumber salads: sesame oil.
Enough of the kitchen garden talk.
See? I knew it.
Oh, did not know that H.G. hates cooking-talk. But it´s ALMOST okay, because the veggies are grown by EMPATHS and the recipes are cooked by EMPATHS 😁
Sounds like Soylent green to me. He should enjoy it!
I think H.G. would delete the gardening-cooking talk if it was absolutely not okay. I think it´s at least 50 % okay, H.G. can think about getting delicious veggies grown by an EMPATH or remember how he destroyed the garden of his poor ex. Remember that article? H.G. destroyed the beautiful garden of his back-then IPPS. Booooo! 👎👎👎👎💩💩💩💩
Us super empaths are very standoffish once awakened, learn what we are, and get weaponised through hg’s work is my experience and other supers to.
You are not a super empath. You just think you are one.
HG,
In the beginning of learning about narcissism and about being an empath myself, I genuinely thought I had Super in me. It’s not because I thought so highly of myself, or thought I was super strong….I just felt my moderate 10 narcissistic traits fighting with my very high 10 empathic traits. You said, in previous works of yours, that the Standard Empath doesn’t have all 10 Narcisstic traits, but I do. I’m 55% Standard, 27% Codependent and 18% Contagion. I guess I’m a bit confused of how I have all 10 traits on both sides, but not a Super? Not that I’m crying about not being a Super, just confused. Could you explain, please? Xx I know my Pride trait is strong and easily manipulated and so is my Defiance trait, as my mother and husband could verify with 100%. I’m very stubborn and strong willed when I have someone holding my leash I don’t want holding my leash.
I dont feel very “super”. I’m actually quite the pain in the ass. 🤭
I am not majority super, only have significant super. However, my significant super is higher than my significant contagion. And I identify more with contagion, though! Or at least, I am more aware of when I can feel others’ feelings than of any super trait. I **think** I went super nova with somatic narc but I don’t feel very Supersonic in general. Who knows, I still need to learn so much.
You’re majority wonderful SP.
Haha, thanks K Mac but nope! I’m majority standard. Citing a very good friend: “nobody wants standard anything!”
kMac, what a wonderful statement! 🙂
Indeed. She is the wonderful one. 💕💕
Awwwww you guys! ❤
So, is the Super empath indeed a Heyoka Empath?
I believe from experience, that a Heyoka Empath is produced when a super empath emerges, shining bright like a diamond after an empathic supernova.
No.
Have you ever met a Heyoka Empath? Do you think they even exist?
See my video about The Heyoka Empath
Thank you! I will check it out.
It’s a great video, HG 🙂
Anna, shining bright like a diamond…
Only an innocent, delicate and infinitely good person can shine that way. One who cannot defend herself and its end is always tragic.
I see a superempata as a jaw-clenching and self-control person. Only stubbornness can shine here 🙂
Joa: great description. Everyone wants to be super empath like a super hero. I have 10% and I don’t know why. I admire super Empaths like I admire empathy. Sorry but I don’t get this obsession (almost it feels like it if you read online.) maybe because I am of a different cadre. Wish all Empaths well but it seems like the super empath is what many strive to be. Not me, maybe because I am not. Not sure I am missing out lol. Also Joa: many online say Empaths don’t exist. I disagree in my personal experience. I don’t think HG “made it up” as so I read on line. Sam Vatnim says it’s made up. Doesn’t exist. I agree with HG. I just don’t get the frenzy over the super Empaths. Why so many want to be or claim they are. You are or you are not. So what?
Contagious I agree. Super dosen’t equal better. The schools and Cadre are something HG came up with. I think they are fun and interesting kinda like personality tests. I don’t do around writing it on my resume.
Contagious, I take these as adopted names, as kMac wrote – a sort of personality distinction.
Because we´re beautiful, perfect and strong super heroes and eat narcissists for breakfast 🤪😂
Okay, no, that was a joke of course! 😂 I think there are many myths about the Super Empath. The truth is that we come from a lack for control environment, many of us are ACONs, that´s really nothing to be jealous of. 🙄 I just noticed that I use to draw the line in the sand much earlier as the other Empaths (in real life). While other Empaths were afraid, sad, depressed, desperate, I drew the line in the sand and no problems with lying, cheating and breaking the rules. I didn´t care: because I knew that is in order to save myself and save as many people I can! Whenever I don´t see any point in idiot rules without any evidence, I break them and everybody can kiss my ass! Period. I think the narcissistic traits of the Super come way earlier to the forth and are way stronger than those of other Empaths. The difference between the Super and the psychopath is that the Super breaks rules, lies, cheats, betrays for SELF DEFENSE ONLY, the psychopath does it for personal gain. And as the empathic traits outweigh the narcissistic ones, it´s done only in cases for emergency and normally we´re helpful and kind people. No angels, of course, only human beings, but the self defense mechanism switches on way earlier and may be bit stronger than of the other Empaths. Hope that makes sense somehow?
Yes, Leela, very well written.
Unless, the person is CoD and SE, then she/he will endure even more, taking on himself. Additionally, there are cadres. The combinations can be various. Lots of different variations. Even for SE.
My mother is very probably a CoD. She has been enduring more than 60 years !!!!! with Patri Narc! Mom got ensnared when she was 16 years old! 😱 They have been married for more than 55 years!!! 😱 And my father is not exactly a pleasant person 🤪
This is because, the prefix SUPER makes impress, just like ULTRA. Sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? The supreme, the biggest, the strongest 🙂
If had HG called SuperEmpata:
StubbornEmpath, CunningEmpath or ConfrontationEmpath, it would be much less pretenders 🙂
—————–
Personally, sometimes I regret my stubbornness, I myself, myself, will do anything and I can handle everything. My strength is my weakness. And it happens that my weakness turns out to be my strength.
What I found interesting about the recent interview with Doug is the interaction between the percentages allocated to various schools. So an individual might switch to an alternative minority school when that school is triggered.
Contagion is interesting in that sense. An individual might use Contagion more if a friend was in distress for example, the trigger being the distressed friend. It kind of explains my ‘reaching’. I’m actively putting feelers out to take in the emotion of someone who I know is in distress. The thinking here being that if I feel exactly how they feel, then I know how best to help. It’s a conscious reach in response to a trigger. That said I could also describe my Contagion as a background app. It never turns off, it can overwhelm on occasion ( perhaps a trigger I’m unaware of) and I very much feel it’s an integral part of my day to day functioning. As a significant minority element though it still isn’t the lead school. So the key driver for me isn’t Contagion.
I think when it comes to the Super Empath the general feeling is that their narcissistic traits show more often. They are seen as the most narcissistic of the empath group. That’s certainly the impression I’ve had. That isn’t necessarily the case. As Leela says there will be differences within the SE group too. The TDC highlights that rather than the EDC. If an SE has a 60% Empathic trait percentage and a 55% narcissistic percentage then the narcissistic traits will show more often on a general basis. Conversely, another SE with an 80% empathic trait percentage and a 60% narcissistic trait percentage, would rarely show the narcissistic traits (unless triggered) even though technically her narcissistic traits are stronger than in the first example. Both are still SE.
It seems then that the main difference between the SE and the other schools is that the SE has more triggers. She digs her heels in more often because she is triggered more often. Too many triggers together and she consciously switches to using the narcissistic traits repeatedly and is on the cusp of a Supernova.
The interview with Doug I thought was really enlightening. In many ways it’s the percentage difference in narcissistic and empathic traits that dictates day to day behaviour rather than just school.
I’ve had the Super Empath wrong I think. I might still have the Super Empath wrong but that was my interpretation.
Shining bright like a diamond and being a super hero? Hey, I like that. 😂 It utter bullshit, but I like that. 🤣
Anna,
The Heyoka empath screams Mid Range narcissist. If you have been told that the Heyoka empath emerges “shining bright like a diamond” after the Super Empath has a Supernova then this is even more Mid Range. It’s magical thinking coupled with grandiosity and complete exaggeration, designed to draw attention and appear ‘powerful’.
What utter garbage. As usual the Midrangers are missing the point. If power is what they want, then the most powerful empath is the Weaponised Empath. Someone who is skilled enough to spot and act upon red flags so she doesn’t even need to go into battle in the first place. Someone who like any other empath might one day find herself ensnared but thanks to her training and knowledge recognises the black flags of devaluation and knows that GOSO is the only viable course of action. The Weaponised Empath recognises that the way to win is not to play the game. The Heyoka just wears a funny costume.
You can find the Weaponised Empath in ANY school, any cadre and the Super Duper Heyoka Enlightened Deity empath pales into insignificance at the side of her / him. Thankfully the Midrangers are too dumb to work that out so repeatedly give themselves away. Give them enough rope…..
⬆️⬆️⬆️What TS said.
Truthseeker6157, thanks for the information. I will check out the blogs on the weaponised empath. Still fairly new to this blog and still watching the videos, and absorbing the information.
HG has done a very good job. Just need to catch up with the information.
Hi Anna,
You are in the right place to get all of the accurate information you need. The YouTube videos are perfect for listening on the go. Check the playlist tab on YouTube if you want to target something specific, everything is categorised for you there. Welcome to the blog Anna.
After I got some much shit from wanted to talk about Empaths, here we are. LOL It REALLY helps to know what we are to better guard against being ensnared, particularly, by the School/Cadre type of narcissists that prefer certain School/Cadres of empaths. Not only ensnarement in the romantic sense, but how to deal with them when they are family members, encountered at work, or otherwise unavoidable.*
*GOSO but YMMV
WTF autocorrect!? Lol
Ah, is there an article supposed to be attached to this?
If not, I’m waiting with baited breath 🙂
What the Super Empath does?
At the moment eating pork tenderloin with homemade cucumber salad. 😁😉
Haha, Leela!
Leela – my favourite homemade cucumber salad is thinly sliced english cucumber, avocado and sweet onion, spritzed with fresh lime juice, sea salt, and freshly ground pepper.
Delicious in the hot summer months.
Cucumber sandwiches. With butter, not cream cheese, as they seem to be done in the US when they do them at all. Since I have to limit grains and starches, I generally use rye crispbread rather than bread, except as a special treat.
On the other hand, I haven’t done the Empath Detector yet, and I’m going to apply my first batch of paychecks to reducing my credit card debt before I can spring for it. So who knows if I even am one? After several years on Narcsite, I don’t worry anymore that I might be a full narc, but I wouldn’t be surprised to rate highly narcissistic.
I think people go for “Super Empath” and “Supernova” because they sound kewl. Too many superheroes in waving capes in the culture.
Viol.,
That actually sounds good, the cucumber crispbread combo.
Doubt not – you are an empath.
WhoCares:
You are kind to say so, but I’ll wait on HG’s decision. The only one that would shock me would be to be told I am Normal. (Actually, that would shock everyone who has ever known me.) But I think he doesn’t do it like that; either you’re told what kind of empath you are, or that you’re not one.
WhoCares:
In any case, the main reason to know what kind or mix of empathic traits you are is to be alert to the kind of narcs who will target you, which ploys they are likely to use to do it, and which residual benefits will be their focus, not so people can argue over whose category has a higher Kewlness Quotient.
We have learned that the kind of Empath whom Narcs ensnare with Pity Plays so they can live off her pay or pension (while not lifting a finger around the residence they refuse to leave once they’ve inveigled their way in) is not the same kind who will attract the flashy Somatic who wants this year’s model (literally–Vogue preferred) to impress his friends when she’s sitting in the passenger seat of the Italian sportscar. They won’t be pursued the same way, and while the layabout may stick around for years even when he’s been repeatedly asked to leave, sports car guy will trade in his human model before he does his Maserati if she shows the slightest damage to her chassis.
Basically, we just need to know which predators have us on their food list so we can smell them coming.
I ponder, very meticulously, how to keep your tank off my lawn.
Then I think about tanks. Then lawns.