The Hateful Eight of Hearing

THE-HATEFUL-EIGHT-OF-HEARING

When you speak, this is what we actually hear. We hear the words but the effect differs. You say the words in bold but beneath is what we really hear you say to us.

  1. I Love you

 I admire you. I adore you. You are a god. You are a prince among men. Nobody does it better. You are a king, an emperor, a champion. You are everything that I have ever wanted. I would wither and die were it not for you. I want to be with you forever. I want to worship beneath you and give thanks minute by minute that someone so scintillating, so special and so brilliant as you would choose me to be by your side. I will give you sweet, potent and invigorating fuel now and forever. I am bound to you now, do as you will.

  1. Please leave me alone

Stay and punish me. I am disloyal and a traitor. I have wronged you on so many occasions and I deserve everything that I get. I am weak, pathetic and disgusting and I am amazed at your generosity in remaining with me. I have failed you and I am so unworthy I wish to crawl into a hole and die there but I ought to face you and accept my punishment because my treacherous behaviour deserves nothing less. Continue to berate and denigrate me and reinforce why you are so much better than me.

  1. Why are you doing this to me?

 I am challenging your right to treat me like this because I am suggesting that you are not entitled to do this. I am making it plain that you are not superior to me and you have no basis for behaving like this. I am trying to make you feel small and weak because I am disloyal and I am always looking for ways to stop you getting fuel. I am a traitor, a fifth columnist who is seeking to bring you down and topple this empire that you have created. I am criticising your entitlement. Do you hear that word you hate so much? Criticise. You need to carry on and punish me.

  1. What would you like for dinner?

 I am trying to irritate you by suggesting that I do not already know. I am doing this because I am suggesting that I do not think ahead, plan and second guess to cater for your every need. Do you know why I am suggesting that? Do you know why I am pretending that I do not already know? It is because I want to strip you of your special and superior status. Yes, this is another of my seditious acts which is designed to make you think and feel that you are losing your power over me. It’s working isn’t it? You are feeling weakened and you are wondering what other treacherous acts I will engage in. Why don’t you lose your temper and throw something about? That will show me.

5. I think the blue shirt looks better on you

I am telling you that your choice of the red shirt is a bad one. Do you know why that it is? It is because you know nothing about clothes and fashion. In fact I am going further than that because I am actually telling you that you know nothing at all and I know better than you. Yes, can you believe it? Little old stupid me knows more than this supposed god that stands before me. How does that make you feel now eh? I love doing this. I love to challenge your choices and make you appear stupid next to me, a person who is apparently useless. Does this hurt? I thought so. That is why I do it because I am trying to destroy you with comments like this. I think you should storm out of the room and leave the house for a couple of days so I know who is in charge.

6.There’s something wrong with you

 I am on to you. I know what you are. I know there is something rotten in the state of you. You are warped, evil and not the person you make out to be. I am not fooled any longer by your showmanship and I am going to tell everyone about you. I know the truth of what you are. Oh I know, how can I know when I am the one who has the problem. I know that I’m really the crazy one and I do nothing but make your life hell, but I am trying to brush that under the carpet by suggesting that you are the oddball, the maniac, the fruit loop, the kerazy wild-eyed freak. How dare I do so when I am the one that is obviously ill and needs help. I know I do but I like to play this game with you but it’s okay, you should go and tell everyone else what I am doing again and why not arrange for me to see a doctor too to give it a real ring of authenticity?

 7. Please don’t leave me

I am weak and pathetic and useless. I should have known better than to fail you. I will do anything, anything at all to make you stay with me. You can treat me even worse now. Do what you will to me, I am nothing compared to you. I should be punished for my transgressions because I am so pathetic compared to your greatness. I am nothing without you. You have given me everything and like a spoilt child I have been so ungrateful but I need you. There I have said it. I need you so, so much because you are fantastic and you do so much for me and I am just a horrible person. You can treat me like dirt because that is what I deserve but why not ensure I get the message by walking out and staying away for several weeks without ever getting in touch. That should show who is boss shouldn’t it?

8. It is over.

 Well I have said that but that is not what I meant. I meant I am an idiot and I say things which I do not mean because let’s be honest, there must be something wrong with me if I want to be apart from someone like you, someone so special, kind and wonderful who has only ever tried to do the right thing and someone who has only ever had my best interests at heart. I don’t mean it really. I am just doing it for attention, but I need you to tell me why I should stay and it would be great if you cried a bit too, just to make it look like you are really upset by me telling you it is over. Go on, squeeze a couple out to show me you really are human and can be hurt by my horrible threat. Oh and don’t be concerned, I know you finished it first.

9 thoughts on “The Hateful Eight of Hearing

  1. Lucycita says:

    Haha, when I say ‘please leave me alone’ I actually mean ‘please don’t leave me’. Only when I say ‘it is over’ I mean ‘leave me alone’. Similarly, when I say ‘what would you like for dinner’ is when I really mean ‘I love you’. Empaths are complicated too, arent we?

  2. Shawn says:

    So there are no ‘magic’ words to make him go away and leave me alone? God help me.

    1. WhoCares says:

      Shawn,

      There’s only NC (No Contact), and HG’s work, of course, to get you through.

      1. Shawn says:

        Mr Tudor’s work has been beneficial to me. It explains so much. Things that left me scratching my head in bewilderment. People think NC is easy. Well people who have never been ensnared in the first place do. We divorced in January. I still have some of his stuff at the home we shared. He was incarcerated for several months. He’s out now and whining he has no friends and no place to go. After everything he’s done, including cheating on me when I had breast cancer, I still can’t help myself and feel bad for him. I refuse to take him back or let him live with me. He thinks I’m being a snotty b#&ch. I now realize, thanks to Mr Tudor, he thinks he has the right and is entitled to do what he wants and is baffled by everyone’s reaction. I think about throwing his stuff on the curb and being done but I can’t bring myself to be that mean.
        A lawyer recently told me I should sell everything, sell the house, move away and hide from him. He said he’s seen his kind before and it doesn’t end well.
        My kindness is going to cause my undoing.

        1. WhoCares says:

          Oh, Shawn ❤️ – I am so glad you found HG’s work.
          When I was dealing with the things you are currently dealing with, I didn’t have access to HG’s work or advice – and I made SO many mistakes.

          “People think NC is easy”

          Well, in one way it is easy. You just go ‘no contact’ – but for us, it isn’t. Pretty much why HG has a good business going here, right?

          I hope you keep reading Shawn, and you seek HG’s advice.

          I am glad you refused and didn’t give in to your ex’s pleading and whining. It’s only a pity play in order to get back in relationship with you. Don’t believe for a second that he hasn’t somewhere else to go.

          With regard to his belongings, I would either take your lawyer’s advice and sell them, or simply bring them to a prearranged, neutral location where he can pick them up on his own without your further involvement.

          I took my ex’s stuff to the local “headquarters” for citizens who help the local police by volunteering to patrol the neighborhood. And he had to pick it up himself. Wow, he was mad at me afterwards (through text) but it got done.

          One thing for sure, you need to get his stuff out of your possession so that you no longer feel responsible for it.

          I hope you keep reading and sharing Shawn. There are a lot of supportive people here.

        2. WhoCares says:

          Shawn – in my previous comment I should have specified that I was referring to your ex’s personal belongings. Getting rid of those, as soon as you’re able to, will help ease your mind.

          1. Shawn says:

            It helps so much to be able to get all this off my chest. There is so much of his stuff here at my house. Tractors, tools, clothes etc. It’s overwhelming to think about what to do with it. Most of it has been packed up and put in the garage. I’m still receiving treatments and I’m hoping when those are complete, I’ll feel more like dealing with it. I have thought about asking Mr Tudor’s opinion about my situation but I can hear him saying “you already know what to do”. Guess I’m not used to a narcissist being helpful. Sorry Mr Tudor.
            I guess it’s just one step at a time.

          2. WhoCares says:

            Shawn,

            “There is so much of his stuff here at my house. Tractors, tools, clothes etc. It’s overwhelming to think about what to do with it. Most of it has been packed up and put in the garage. ”

            Yes. At first it feels overwhelming, especially due to the extent that they have infiltrated our lives and the level of one’s fatigue and mental fog.

            In my personal situation, just before escaping, I recall thinking, ‘However will I extricate myself from this mess and even begin to fix things?’

            “I’m still receiving treatments and I’m hoping when those are complete, I’ll feel more like dealing with it.”

            If all you can manage at this time is to get his stuff into the garage, at least it will be out of your sight for a time. Personally, I underestimated the effects of everpresence, in the beginning. You don’t want to keep walking amongst his things and having memories triggered.

            “I have thought about asking Mr Tudor’s opinion about my situation but I can hear him saying “you already know what to do”.”

            You have a golden opportunity here Shawn. I wish I had access to HG’s work, and the opportunity to speak to him, when I was at your stage of securing freedom…it might have been a little less haphazard for me.

            “Guess I’m not used to a narcissist being helpful.”

            HG does it for his own reasons, as set out in his videos on YouTube.

            “I guess it’s just one step at a time.”

            Yes. And now you’re accessing the best information to help.

            It’s not actually about having a lot of advice, but finding the right advice.

            Have you read HG’s book, Exorcism? That would might be a good one for you.

  3. Pingback: The Hateful Eight of Hearing - Dark Triad Personality

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

Warning Letter