Warning Letter

WARNING-LETTER

 

“Dear Victim.

Well here we are again. Or rather, here I am again. I referred to we because as I mentioned in my first letter to you, I do not really distinguish between you and all the others, so what is about to happen next seems to me as if it has happened with you, numerous times before. What is going to happen is something that I have done so many times before with so many other victims so one thing to keep at the forefront of your mind is that you are not alone in being subjected to what will come next.

It has been amazing so far hasn’t it? I told you I would love you like nobody else ever has and I delivered. Okay, I was actually loving your praise, love, admiration and adoration of me, but to you it felt like I loved you in a way which went beyond anything you had ever experienced before. That certainly kept you happy. You told me every day how happy you were. You told your friends, your family, your colleagues, the man at the hot dog stand, in fact anybody who would listen. I enjoyed watching you do that. It made me feel good. It made me feel powerful.

Here I was able to make you tell the world about our perfect love and goodness me have you loved me perfectly. You told me every day just how much you loved me. You cared for me, looked after me and helped me in so many ways. From letting me use your car when I crashed mine to scratching my back as I lay in bed at night ready to sleep. Of course it was not all one way. I gave you everything I could. I only did it though, to get your fuel. I give to receive. I do not know any other way. You sometimes told me about your love for me being without condition.

I didn’t understand what you meant. No, that is wrong. I understood what you meant but I struggled to imagine doing this. I love you with so many conditions, the chief one being that I only actually love you for the fuel that you give me. Not for who you are. It will take you a long time to understand this and even longer to accept that this is the case. This is why I am writing this letter so that you can keep reading and re-reading it in order to allow it to sink in. After all, nobody else is going to be able to tell you how it really is will they? Anyway, it has been brilliant so far. Ordinarily I would claim that that is all down to me, after all am I not brilliant? It is a fact however that you more than played your part. You gave me absolutely everything.

Your heart, your soul and you poured every essence of your being in to the concept of us. I know you did this because I could see you doing it. I had to because I needed that in order to sustain me. The more you gave, the more brilliant I became, so you gave even more in return. It was an upwards spiral. Two people working in magnificent harmony. You because you believed in us. Me because I needed your fuel. Not that you ever realised this. Why would you? I became the perfect partner, complimenting you, praising you and loving you in that oh so spectacular way. It was intense, it was scintillating and I made sure I became everything that you would want from a relationship. It was a great deal for us both. I made you feel ultra-special.

You gave me the ultra fuel that I need. Does it matter that what I provided to you was based on something else? I would say not, you still got what you wanted didn’t you? I should imagine you would argue that it did matter because you truly believed that I loved you for who you are and that should be the case. I can understand why you would think like that.

You are big on this love thing aren’t you? That is why I picked you of course, that and many other reasons as well, but that played a big part. I wonder though; if nothing altered, if I kept treating you the same way forever as I have done so far, even though it is predicated on a completely different basis to the one you think it is, would that trouble you? You wouldn’t know of course. All you would know is that I continuing to give you the apparent love you crave, in the manner that you have come to expect and in a fashion that makes you feel so special. I don’t suppose you would be particularly upset if that remained the case would you? The thing is though, that isn’t going to happen. Yes, you read that correctly.

What has happened so far, marvellous as it is, is effectively at an end. Oh, you will be allowed some glimpses of the person you thought I was, from time to time, in order to keep you with me, but to all intents and purposes this golden period of unparalleled love has come to an end. You won’t realise this because first of all you just cannot accept that something so wonderful could end in this manner. Second of all you will not realise because of what I am going to do. I am going to confuse you, bewilder you and befuddle you. I am going to make everything hazy, amorphous, nebulous, blurred and indistinct so you are not going to understand what is going on.

 

Why am I going to do this? Well something has changed. I would usually explain, if I ever felt that an explanation should be given (and I operate from the stance that I owe you no explanations because I am unaccountable) that as usual it is your fault. You have let me down. I do believe that to be the case. I wish it was not. I wish this wonderful period could have continued for the rest of our days together but it cannot. What once invigorated me and made me feel powerful just does not do so in the same way anymore.

Don’t think you are alone in this happening. You are not. All the others let me down as well. It is as if you are not trying any longer. It is as if you have become bored with my brilliance and you see no reason to admire me and adore me in the way that you once did. That wounds me. Your actions or perhaps more accurately, your lack of actions makes me feel less than what I am. It makes me feel weak. It makes me feel worthless and this infuriates me. I know that others have said to me in the past that nothing has changed in the way that they feel about me, that they love me just as much as they always have done.

Yet even though they tell me this it does not feel like that anymore to me. The power I felt when you showed me that love and admiration is either no longer there or not as strong. I cannot help it. That is the way that I feel. Since I have not changed in the way that I regard you, I can only reach the conclusion that this alteration in how I feel has been brought about as a consequence of you. Something in the way you act towards me has altered. You perhaps are not giving enough of yourself to me, you are not manifesting the love, the admiration and the adoration in the way that powers me.

It might be that sometimes it feels stale to me, that has happened, perhaps it is because you have become too familiar to me and therefore I do not derive the same reaction that I once did to the way you have behaved. I know that this has been suggested to me but I do not know if it is right. For so long you behaved the same way towards me, loving me in that wonderful way and it did not feel stale or jaded. I think, more likely, it is because you have begun to treat me differently. You are not performing at the level that I require and therefore to me this means you no longer regard me in the same light and this offends me.

I feel criticised by this behaviour of yours and therefore I have to protect myself. You see, I do not like criticism. In fact, I hate it and therefore I need to act promptly to defend myself against this criticism. That is why I have to do what comes next. I had hoped this would not happen. I had hoped that you would be The One so this could be avoided. I had hoped you would not let me down, that I had made the right choices and decisions so that our golden reign could continue forever.

I guess I got it wrong, although it is not something I would ever openly admit, I do not want to be seen as wrong because that suggests weakness and that is the last thing I want you to think I am. So, here I am again, about to protect myself from your implied criticism. Anybody else would say sorry for what is about to happen, but as you will soon find out, I do not do apologies. I am sorry for myself that it has come to this of course. I am full of self-pity when the need arises. So, that is the end of the golden period we had. I must do what I have done so many times before and bring the hurt. I will stop now as I have some other people to attend to, but I will write again. You might want to put your tin hat on and buckle up.

This is where it turns nasty.

 

Yours in disappointed fury

N. Arc

X”

38 thoughts on “Warning Letter

  1. hudson. says:

    already i’m bored

  2. Empath007 says:

    You know what’s good but strange.. I reached out to my narc recently… and yet I don’t feel this desperation to get back together like I thought I would. Don’t get me wrong – if he went in for a Hoover I don’t think I’d be immune to that. I’m feeling rather vulnerable so I recognize I’m in weaker position (as I always was). But… I almost get this weird sense of closure from adding him back to social media, like that was Empath007 from 4 years ago. And new Empath007 just wants to move on… and maybe it’s time I just let myself do that. I’m nervous to date, and my recent rejection did not help matters… but…. I need to open myself back up to new possibilities again. I know I should still block him…. but the crazy thing is … right now I don’t even care he has a small amount of access to my life. Hopefully I stay this way.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You risk not staying this way by breaching no contact in the manner that you are.

    2. lisk says:

      Are you bored? I you trying to distract yourself from the recent rejection you experienced?

      I can’t imagine any other reason for opening back up these lines of communication. Seems scary to me!

      1. Empath007 says:

        I think I have a serious self esteem issue… I’m thinking I actually want to go to therapy for it. I’m actually a total mess after the rejection. Literally hating my body etc. I think I need some help getting a grip on it.

        1. lisk says:

          Then it sounds like you are in a very vulnerable position (most delicious to a narcissist!). It’s probably the worst time to be playing with narcissistic fire, especially if all we are are objects to them. Do you really want to be an object AGAIN?

          I hope you find things to do that result in positive accomplishments. That, along with consistently reading HG and the comments would most likely do you more good than any self-esteem therapist.

        2. Bubbles says:

          Dearest Empath 007,
          I always had self esteem issues throughout my entire life ! Now I’m toward the end of my life, I realise what a bloody waste of time it was haha . Worrying what others thought of me, seeking their approval, copying them so we had something in common.
          Thinking of myself as always fat, when in fact, l look at my old photos and I was very slim. Rejection is heartbreaking, criticism attacks the very essence of soul. We empaths always take it to heart and extremely personally. We need to look at it as a learning experience not just as a negative comment or a personal attack. Take it on board and think how it can better us.

          Men can sense desperation and neediness from a woman. Loving yourself first, standing on your own two feet and not needing a man, is when you are ‘less likely’ to attract the wrong kind. In most cases, when you’re not looking for a man, that’s when you find one, unexpectedly!

          Men are like bees to a honey pot, sex is their primary goal ……they really don’t care what you look like! Most people are only interested in themselves anyway.
          Do you have some girlfriends you can spend time with? A bit of rest and relaxation away from the opposite sex is always good for the soul, sometimes necessary haha

          Your children are little mini you’s and once they see you ‘loving yourself first’ they will indeed have a great role model who will set them up as confident self assured adults. Take a moment to reflect why your kids love you, then you will find your answer.
          Heartfelt hugs lovely, you’ve got this 🤗
          💕
          Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          1. Joa says:

            Bubbles, that’s a lovely comment! I copied and passed on to my daughter your words. Maybe it will reach her more, because she ignores my similar words.

            I think the same. It’s a waste of time!

            I also look at my photos from my youth and see a shy girl with a great figure and legs long to the sky. When I was a student, I worked as a hostess at international events, I dressed well and… I had the most complexes then!

            Today, when I do not pay attention to all of this, I usually feel good in my skin.

            —————–

            I did not passed my daughter an opinion about sex as the main target of men. I guess I’m still at the fledgling level in this matter 🙂 It’s so… ordinary.

            PS N2 has said contemptuously several times, that women fly to him like bees to the honey pot. I don’t like that expression 🙂 Wrrr.

            ———————–

            Anyway, thank you for your words and I confirm. So it is!

          2. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Joa,
            Thank you lovely, I’m happy my comment resonated with you in some small way.
            I feel as parents, we coach our children, try to warn them of dangers from an early age, relate our stories and give quotes of wisdom with the intention of hopefully them listening and taking on board a few lessons of life. Values, morals and respect are usually taught from home.
            We can only be but mere guides and lead them on the right path. It is then we set them free with the best knowledge we know and hope they turn out alright.

            Lessons learnt, good and bad, are usually from actual experiences we all went thru ourselves.

            Judgement of character plays a huge part and hopefully your daughter will make informed decisions that lead her in good stead.
            We as parents have to loosen to rope and hope for the best. They take in more than we give them credit for.

            ‘Bees to a honey pot’……I’ve only ever known it as the bee being the man is attracted to the honey pot, female vagina….., that’s why one must be very careful getting stung by the bee, at the end! 🍯🐝
            Typical of a man’s ego to think the ‘honey pot’ is him 🥱
            And yes, it’s always always, since Adam and Eve been about sex !😂
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          3. Empath007 says:

            “Most men are like honey pots…
            Sex is their goal” … that’s what makes this situation so upsetting! He couldn’t perform! He says it wasn’t me, but it had to be me that turned him off… he does not have ED.

            People always talk like it’s so easy for women to get sex but this has not at all been my experience (in fairness… I haven’t put myself out there much). But yes I’ve been taking it very personally and tearing my body image apart and all the things wrong with me since it happened.

            While he’s moved on to a gorgeous yoga instructor! I’ve been left shattered – with no confidence to go meet anyone else.

            My narc made me
            Feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and my long term (baby daddy – non narc) never had “performance issues”
            With me …

            Thanks for your nice comment. I likely do come across desperate and needy… I hadn’t had sex in nearly 4 years. To say I was angry, sexually frustrated and humiliated is a massive understatement!

            Thanks so much for kind words and help ❤️

          4. Bubbles says:

            Dearest Empath007,
            Try not to compare yourself to others …..especially gorgeous yoga instructors haha

            All I can say is …there’s a reason why they made vibrators hehe 😜

            Just think, when you do have sex again, you will choose better and really enjoy it.

            At my age, sex is not the be all and end all 🤣
            Just because a man can’t perform, never blame yourself lovely…..it’s definitely not you, you need to stop being so hard on yourself.
            If someone doesn’t like you just the way you are, they’re not worth it.
            Look in the mirror and start loving what you see.
            Sending hugs to you precious 🤗🤗🤗
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

      2. Empath007 says:

        Thinking about your question more… yes… I want a distraction from the rejection. The rejection made me feel as if it doesn’t matter whether a man is a narcissist or not. None of them will love me. So what does it even matter trying to avoid any of them?

        I was in love with the man who recently rejected me and it’s left me totally depressed. Feeling lied to and used … once again.

        I’m trying to online date to meet someone entirely new… but have about 10 messages in my inbox I have no desire to reply too.

        I’m beginning to believe my fate is to be single for the rest of my life… so why not see if my narc is interested in having sex with me? At this point…. I don’t care that he doesn’t love me, none of them will, he and I have a good sexual chemistry… and that’s all I need from him right now.

        But I don’t feel like putting in the energy to chase after him. At least not right now. So I’ve re opened the window of possiblity. And it seems like less work then dating.

        1. lisk says:

          Very interesting.

          This almost sounds logical: “I don’t care that he doesn’t love me, none of them will, he and I have a good sexual chemistry… and that’s all I need from him right now.”

        2. Asp Emp says:

          E007, I read your comments in regard to the rejection and how you are impacted by that. What Lisk has suggested to you is really good. You are not “destined” to be single for the rest of your life, you have a lot of love to give. But. It needs to go to the right person, at the right time, in the right place = someone who thinks about you, not only themselves, when you are emotionally and mentally ready to do so (consider whether your ET is in the right ‘mindset’ at present), preferably someone who is nearer to you, or at least, prepared to travel to you. Whatever you do, do not go back to past narcissists and try your utmost to avoid getting ensnared by another narcissist – which is the most likely thing to happen if you continue to use the online method of seeking what you are seeking for. Sex is not the be-all-end-all in life. You may find that you would end up feeling worse than you are now if you go back to the narcissist ex for sexual reasons and you may find that you would ‘wake up’ the ET that you had for him in the past = the same old cycle of being ensnared by him.

          HG is the only ‘therapist’ you need at present and his KTN blog / YouTube channel is readily accessible here. Would you consider a consult with HG and obtain advice on your issue with rejection and guidance to getting your ET / LT back on the right path?

          1. Empath007 says:

            Hi Asp Emp. Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I think your point about waiting for someone who is the right person/willing to give to me is what is so upsetting about this current situation- I was positive this man was a caring/giving empath. We had worked together for 3 years… as my boss, he treated me with so much respect. He would genuinely appreciate my expertise. He never once hit on me (he was married at the time). One day during the pandemic I was emotional – he Called me in his office and tried to help me through it – he would
            Always be concerned with others,
            Helpful etc.

            Once we opened the romantic side though… there were some narc red flags. But he said the sweetest things. Acknowledged that I was putting more effort in going to see him. Paid for half my flight, etc. I just thought he wasn’t lying… and turns out… he was!

            He always appears to have met someone else just weeks after seeing me! Sigh… I’ve cut him out now.

            I know the narc is not the answer. But I’m a mom and don’t have time for a wild social life. So the narc just feels like the shot in the arm I need … but I also don’t feel desperate for him at the same time.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            E007, thank you for explaining how the ‘ensnarement’ started. “He always appears to have met someone else just weeks after seeing me” is a very large red flag. Good to read that he has been cut off now 🙂 I understand, that you feel the need to have a break and let your hair down – you can do that with female friends, at, say at a friend’s place and arrange a baby-sitter for your child? A night out does not need to involve men specifically in order to have fun. Maybe unsubscribe from the online dating sites too?

        3. WhoCares says:

          Empath007,

          I must admit I found your last line amusing.

          “And it seems like less work then dating.”

        4. NarcAngel says:

          E007

          If he is a narc the “good sexual chemistry” you believe you have now is just a gateway to the abuse that will follow. The hook. If you truly believe as you say – that none of them will love you anyway, the logical choice would be to choose to bang a non-narc who will not subsequently engage you in abuse over a narc who surely will. It sounds to me like you are describing an addiction rather than a self esteem issue and your ET is conning you into justifying choosing the narc.

        5. Witch says:

          @empath007

          i wholeheartedly empathise with having struggles around self esteem but think about how those self esteem issues started? It most likely links back to narc(s).
          So if you want anything to improve around your confidence, dating life etc the last thing you need is to engage with a narcissist.
          How you feel now may not be how you’ll feel in 3 months time so it’s unwise to make decisions which could lead to further damage to your self esteem.

          The person who rejected you, whether they are a narc or not they have their own issues and their own reasons. I dated a guy who wasn’t a narc and I was so hurt that he wouldn’t consider me his girlfriend when I wanted him to … I sent him a mean message which I regret and feel bad about, he didn’t even retaliate. And now looking back on it I should have understood that he had his reasons and it wasn’t anywhere near enough as deep as I perceived it to be at the time. I was just a) dickmatised and b) desperate and insecure as a result of my narc foundation. Which means the best thing I could have done for my own welfare was avoid narcs

          1. Empath007 says:

            I agree he has his reasons and he’s entilited to them. It’s the disrespect of lying to me about it that hurts… I like people who are honest and direct…
            Not stringing me along for their own benefit.

        6. Joa says:

          I considered similar thoughts, when it came to sex.

          I was stopped by the sentence N2: “Sex brings people together”. Indeed. Although for me the order was the opposite.

          This is a big risk for you. Even if you try to turn off the emotions as much as possible, all it takes is one gesture, word, purr, stretching – and everything will be back.

          On the other hand, whoever does not risk does not drink champagne 🙂
          But you have to be ready for champagne with acid.

        7. Empath007 says:

          Just right now I’m making boring small talk with on of the dating app guys 🙄 shoot me… why are people so terrible at conversation? Haha!

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Stay off dating apps.

          2. Truthseeker6157 says:

            Empath 007,

            I know this might sound like a strange question. Ever tried working in a bar? I’ve done that a few times when I’ve moved around. It’s a fast way to a new set of friends. I mean a local bar, where you get regulars coming in. It can be a lot of fun.

            I remember the first bar I ever worked in, the owner was from Liverpool. I remember her training me and saying, (cue really strong scouse accent) “You get a lot of admirers working in a bar.” She was right. It’s fun, it’s flirtatious, it builds self confidence. I met love of my life guy in that bar. He played the long game. I like the long game, shows stamina haha!

            ( No he wasn’t alcoholic. I’ll just head that one off at the pass.)

          3. NarcAngel says:

            Online dating: The clearance rack of humanity.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Great description.

          5. Gypsy Heart says:

            You are not going to find a lot of people on there for the conversations. Come to this site for the conversations.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Good observation.

          7. alexissmith2016 says:

            Definitely steer clear of the dating apps E07! one of my friends used them for a while, she described the men akin to the characters from the movie “Hot Fuzz”. No not a porn film a British Comedy. If you’ve not seen it, check it out and see if she’s right?

            It must be hard to meet guys nowadays, especially since the pandemic, I imagine hobbies would be preferable.

        8. Gypsy Heart says:

          Empath 007,

          I understand the feelings of rejection, dissapointment, low self esteem, and the possibility of never having love again. I really do hope you avoid the online/social media arenas for dating just as HG advises. They are just hunting grounds. You could end up in a worse situation as I did.

          I would give anything to go back to lonliness and depression. But instead I am dealing with lonliness, depression and a psychopath that killed his wife which everyone knows but he got away with it. The girlfriend after that ended up in the hospital and he went to prison.

          Unbeknownst to me it was just weeks maybe days after he got out of prison and targeted me online. Under all the stress I had to still pull it together, hire a lawyer, prove he was stalking me, and go to court for a restraining order. Guess what? Even with the restraining order he is crazy obsessed and still stalking me and I’m still gathering evidence to shut him down and the law enforcement here is worthless.

          I’ve also had to discuss my 2nd amendment rights with law enforcement and brush up on my skills and be locked and loaded wherever I go.

          Seems he is on meth too, I actually found his stash that he brought to my place and hid and couldn’t get to when some ladies from work came over with a large group of capable strapping young men to tell him it was over and kick him out.

          Work on your self esteem, find distractions, pamper yourself, love yourself, and surround yourself with trusted family and friends. You also know you can get the support, understanding, and information you need here. It will get better.

          1. Empath007 says:

            Trust me. The online dating is NOT exciting me. I don’t get any butterflies. I find these men extremely basic and a total bore lol. Plus I think the whole concept is stupid.

            But – I’m a single mom. Not living the party/highly social life… where would I meet people?

          2. Empath007 says:

            Sorry to hear about your situation Gypsy!

          3. Gypsy Heart says:

            Empath007,

            Thank you. I understand your comment about where do you meet men. I am way past my prime. I lead a pretty solitary lifestyle. The options I’ve had have been dead ends. Guess I will continue being single. I wish the best for you and hope you get to feeling better.

        9. Witch says:

          @empath007

          I don’t want to assume too much because I don’t know the full story but even non-narcs are attracted to us for their own selfish reasons because we are good at meeting peoples needs…
          When you come across a non-narc who is showing signs that they aren’t serious, don’t stay faithful, you let them know as soon as someone who is better for you comes along and meets your needs you will take off

          1. Empath007 says:

            Very good advice! Thank you. Hard to tell whether he was a narc or not… but my instinct tells me no… if anything I think he’s an empath who was married to a narc (or someone narcissistic) and now seems to be going after another woman who shows signs of narcissism to me through her Instagram.

            If that’s the case, he may just have an addiction he’s unaware of and it makes sense I would not fit the bill! Or excite him in the way he needs to be excited!

            I’m hoping this in fact the case. As it helps me cope with the rejection. Much better.

  3. Joa says:

    Yes, I can feel this point as something changes within me. I lie and deny, because I want to cast a spell on us, I want to deceive myself and you, but I know it’s just like you say. I am, but I am slowly disappearing, with each day and week there is less and less of me in our world. Sometimes it takes months and sometimes years, but the end is inevitable.

    Yes, I’m getting bored. Yes, you start to bore me… If you push, you start to disgust me… I start to choke. I am becoming indifferent. I’m getting angry.

    Only when you walk away do I take a few steps back. Only when you run do I start chasing.

    Yes, I am guilty. I’ll take the pain, okay, let it be my punishment.

    —————–

    I remember a boy, who cried in front of me and was on his knees…
    I remember another, when he tried to hug me, speak and charm me, and I didn’t feel anything anymore…
    I remember a man, who came to me full of hope and love, and I… don’t want to write about it. It was mean. Sorry…
    I remember…

    I always felt, that someday I would be punished for it. Ok.

    15 years of solitude. Is it punishment enough? Have I already redeemed my past sins?

    I’m afraid to hurt someone again.
    It’s easier for me to bear the punishment.

    Walk away and stay away from me. Don’t come any closer. This is a warning.

    Only then will I not punish you.

    1. Viol. says:

      BUDDY’S BLUES
      Lyrics
      Follies Soundtrack

      BUDDY:
      Hello, folks, we’re into the Follies!
      First, though, folks, we’ll pause for a mo’.
      No, no, folks, you’ll still get your jollies–
      It’s just I got a problem that I think you should know.
      See, I’ve been very perturbed of late, very upset,
      Very betwixt and between.
      The things that I want, I don’t seem to get.
      The things that I get–you know what I mean!
      I’ve got those
      “God-why-don’t-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I’ll-see-you-later”
      Blues,
      That
      “Long-as-you-ignore-me-you’re-the-only-thing-that-matters”
      Feelin,
      That
      “If-I’m-good-enough-for-you-you’re-not-good-enough”
      and, “Thank-you-for-the-present-but-what’s-wrong-with-It?”
      Stuff,
      Those
      “Don’t-come-any-closer-’cause-you-know-how-much-I-love-you”
      Feelings,
      Those
      “Tell-me-that-you-love-me-oh-you-did-I-gotta-run-now”
      Blues.
      Margie… Margie… Margie… Margie.
      She says she really love: me.
      “MARGIE”:
      I love him-
      BUDDY:
      -she says.
      She says she really cares.
      “MARGIE”:
      I care, I Care.
      BUDDY:
      She says that I’m her hero.
      “MARGIE”:
      He’s my hero-
      BUDDY:
      -she says.
      I’m perfect, she swears.
      “MARGIE”:
      You’re perfect, goddamit.
      BUDDY:
      She says that if we parted-
      “MARGIE”:
      If we parted-
      BUDDY:
      -she says.
      She says that she’d be sick.
      “MARGIE”:
      Oh, God, I’m sick.
      BUDDY:
      She says she’s mine forever-
      “MARGIE”:
      Forever-
      BUDDY:
      -she says.
      I gotta get outta here quick!
      I’ve got those
      “Whisper-how-I’m-better-than-I-think-but-what-do-you-know?”
      Blues,
      That
      “Why-do-you-keep-telling-me-I-stink-when-I-adore-you?”
      Feeling.
      That
      “Say-I’m-all-the-world-to-you-you’re-out-of-your-mind-
      I-know-there’s-someone-else-and-I-could-kiss-you-behind,”
      Those
      “You-say-I’m-terrific-but-your-taste-was-always-rotten”
      Feelings,
      Those
      “Go-away-I-need-you,”
      “Come-to-me-I’ll-kill-you,”
      “Darling-I’ll-do-anything-to-keep-you-with-me-till-you-
      Tell-me-that-you-love-me-oh-you-did-now-beat-it-will-you?”
      Blues!
      Sally… Sally…Sally…Sally.
      She says she loves another-
      “SALLY”:
      Another-
      BUDDY:
      -she says,
      A fella she prefers.
      “SALLY”:
      Furs. Furs.
      BUDDY:
      She says that he’s her idol.
      “SALLY”:
      Idolidolidolidol-
      BUDDY:
      -she says.
      Ideal, she avers.
      “SALLY”:
      You deal…”Avers”!!
      BUDDY:
      She says that anybody-
      “SALLY”:
      Buddy-bleah!-
      BUDDY:
      -she says,
      Would suit her more than I.
      “SALLY”:
      Aye, aye, aye.
      BUDDY:
      She says that I’m a washout-
      “SALLY”:
      You’re a washout-
      BUDDY:
      -she says.
      I love her so much, I could die!
      “SALLY”:
      Ooh. Ooh.
      Ah! Ah!
      BUDDY:
      Oh!
      I’ve got those
      “God-why-don’t-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I’ll-see-you-later”
      Blues-
      “GIRLS”:
      Bla-bla-blues-!
      BUDDY:
      That
      “Long-as-you-ignore-me-you’re-the-only-thing-that-matters”
      Feeling-
      “GIRLS”:
      Feeling-!
      BUDDY:
      That
      “If-I’m-good-enough-for-you-you’re-not-good-enough”-
      “GIRLS”:
      Woo-!
      BUDDY:
      And “Thank-you-for-the-present-but-what’s-wrong-with-it?”
      stuff-
      “GIRLS”:
      Ooh-!
      BUDDY:
      Those
      “Don’t-come-any-closer-’cause-you-know-how-much-I-love-you”
      Feelings.
      “GIRLS”:
      Bla-bla-blues-!
      BUDDY:
      Those
      “If-you-will-then-I-can’t,
      If-you-don’t-then-I-gotta,
      Give-it-to-me-I-don’t-want-it.
      If-you-won’t-I-gotta-have-it,
      High-low-wrong-right-
      Yes-no-black-white.
      God-why-don’t-you-love-me-oh-you-do-I’ll-see-you-later”
      Blues!

  4. lisk says:

    I’ve read this before and I will read it again.

    I ❤️ the transparency!

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