Brilliance, Baloney or Bullshit?



FR David once declared, “Words don’t come easy to me.”

He must not have belonged to Narc Club because we love words and using them. Why is that? They are so easy to use and so powerful. We use words to charm, to seduce, to astound, to amuse, to arouse, to hurt, to wound, to put down, to terrify, to lash out, to apologise, to correct, to mollify, to appease and to hoover.

We actually only use them for one thing.

To control.

Words are far more attractive than action. This is because words form on our lips in an instant, they tap into your empathic and narcissistic traits so readily to ensure we wrap our controlling tendrils about you. Words enable control. Words garner fuel. Words cost nothing. Words vanish into the ether. Words can be denied. Words can be twisted. Words can be fabricated. Words can be lost. Words can be found.

Words come very easy to us.

What comes from our mouths is a product of our narcissism, refined of course by our school. Face a Lesser Narcissist and you can expect direct comments, wild boasts, raged-filled tirades and mammoth exaggerations. Those words issued by the Lesser will not be winning any Booker Prizes, but they remain effective. They are effective because they cost the lazy lesser nothing to use and they enable him to achieve control.

Should the words come pouring from a Mid Range Narcissist, these range from Long Involved Explanations, grandiose prose feigning some Romantic poet, mealy-mouthed apologies, angst-ridden pity plays, sobbing symphonies seeking sympathy and pompous posturing by the fireplace of arrogance. Mid Rangers can be accomplished wordsmiths, doling out some delicious word salads, getting you on the merry go round of Circular Conversations and making frequent use of plausible deniability, with the “I did not quite say that,” or “you have not remembered what I said correct” or “I would explain again but it is quite clear you do not understand what I mean.”

When the Greater lets the serpent´s tongue emerge, instinct largely slips away and if you are the rare victim of the Greater you will find yourself on the receiving end of the calculated, probing, forensic comments where each word has been carefully considered to ensure maximum impact. Nothing is wasted, every word counts and the savage sentences see your throat ripped out as we still stand smiling at you and you slowly start to realise that you died five seconds ago but your brain is just catching up.

Of course all three schools use words in the context of the Narcissist´s Conditional Asterisk and all three schools will use words purely to control because not only are they so much less effort to use, they also provide a fantastic return for the minimum expenditure of effort and that ratio of effort as against return is central to our behaviours.

Sometimes we exhibit brilliance in our words. Often our kind demonstrate baloney although you may take some time to ascertain that this is what has just been spouted. Similarly often there is just pure bullshit spouted by the narcissist. Again, you may be slow to have realised this, your emotional thinking clouding your application of logic. Occasionally you know that this stinking pile of excrement is being dumped on you but you fail to get out of the way, you emotional thinking addled-mind struggling under the steaming load that has been deposited your way. Invariably, it is only afterwards, with the cleansing effect of Logical Thinking that you will clear away the dung and see the comment for what it was, leaving you incredulous, shaking your head and your gast flabbered.

Our kind come out with choice examples of utter bollocks, but of course, from the uttering narcissist it is deemed to be entirely apt for the purposes of asserting control and the clouding effect of emotional thinking ensures that the comment gets the narcissist over the finishing line of control.

On this occasion we are focusing on the bullshit and the floor is open to you to provide us with the golden turds that your narcissist said, wrote or carved into a tree near your house. Let’s have those one or two lines which contained a choice example and feel free to expand on how you felt and how you reacted to it.

The floor is yours, just watch where you tread……

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8 thoughts on “Brilliance, Baloney or Bullshit?

  1. HollyAnn says:

    He wrote: “you’re my fav. The prettiest lady on this planet.

    AND the depth I crave. I hope you’re well.
    My soul craves YOU forever, Holly Ann.”

    He trampled through all my boundaries I set. I was in a place where It took me 5 years of my own self work to create and assert boundaries. But you’re absolutely right Mr. HG Tudor – narcissists trample/bulldoze our boundaries. I’m pretty sure he is the middle midrange angel. I thought something was wrong with me for feeling something was off and trying to create space from him bcs he ‘seemed’ so great. It took about 8 months for my emotional thinking to go down and logic finally made me realize he had trampled over every boundary I tried to set. And from your work HG, I was able to figure it out! Thank you!!

  2. Joa says:

    The last sentence reminded me of a sentence I sent to N2 at the very beginning of our pseudo-relationship:

    “Tread carefully, you’re trampling on my dreams.”

    It’s not mine, I don’t remember who.

    I had someone to write this to, pffff. Asshole.

  3. S says:

    “If you want to acceptable in the eyes of God you must submit to my will and follow me obediently.”

    1. Asp Emp says:

      S, reading your comment reminded me of HG’s article ‘Searching’, offering a good summary of HG’s ‘holy grail’.

      1. S says:

        Yes I am so thankful that I have a family that I love which kept me afloat during that cult. He no longer will speak to me as I wouldn’t follow his rules and so I am now shunned. Sometimes I still want closure. I keep trying to remember that he wields silence as his weapon and HG helps snap me back into reality when I lose sight.

        1. Asp Emp says:

          S, yes, it would have initially hurt at being shunned but once you understand why you were shunned because of not kowtowing to someone who does not care how they made you feel / think. Walking away instead of closure is sometimes the answer. I am glad that you have the support of your family. Yes, HG does remind people to “stay on the path” (from HG’s ‘If You Go Into The Woods’ article). I am really thankful for the existence of HG’s work and those that understand. Thank you for your response 🙂

  4. Rebecca says:

    The LMRSOMATIC would say things like, ” I have more feelings for you, than I do for my wife” ” I love you more than you know.” “I’ll always love you, until my last breath” …the last one said in a monotone, so it was obvious to me that he didn’t feel what he said at all. What a jerk and that dump truck can’t be big enough. Every one of these examples, when he said these words, I felt they didn’t ring true and I didn’t fully trust what he was saying. I think he knew because my facial expressions give away my feelings and thoughts, and at those times, I was thinking, I don’t believe you. I want to, but I’m not fully convinced. Of course at this point, I had feelings for him, I just didn’t fully trust him.

  5. JB says:

    “I would explain again but it is quite clear you do not understand what I mean.” Err..that’s WHY you need to explain again! Yep, this certainly resonates with me. Certainly is utter bollocks…can you imagine if a teacher said that? “Err, yeah, I would explain again, but you don’t get it, so bugger that..!” 🤦‍♀️ 😂

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