Knowing the Narcissist : Your World In My Eyes



I want you to look into my eyes and there you will find yourself. You will see everything that you have ever desired in my eyes. Every hope you have will shine from my eyes, everything you have every wanted will be visible to you.

However, you will not look on the ordinary version of those things that you covet. You will see the enhanced variety, the shining and gleaming types of those things which you hold dear. I want you to stare deep into my eyes and focus on what you find there. Allow yourself to become absorbed by those deep pools of desire as you begin to lose yourself.

It is only natural to want to fall into what you see, to let go of those constraints and inhibitions so that you become consumed totally by what you are looking upon. No harm can come of it for you are only staring at the very things which matter to you. Honesty, humility, humour and desire. Integrity, values and passion.

Everything which you regard as a virtue can be seen in the world that I have created in my eyes. What you tell me, both directly and indirectly, will invariably come into your view within a matter of moments. It is like a far flung barren planet which has been discovered by intergalactic explorers who commence terraforming of the planet in order to make it habitable.

Everything you want becomes a reality as they are formed in this world right before you. The interests you have appear; the places you enjoy visiting come into view and the events that you like to attend flare up.

You are hypnotised as this wonderful world forms in my eyes, all generated by you although you are so taken by the process and what you see that you do not realise that all I am doing is taking the materials that you are furnishing me with and replicating all those things that you want to see.

I am skilled in ensuring you tell me everything about yourself to add to all the preparatory work that I undertook before I made my move. Like ingredients in a particularly delicious cocktail I combine all of these things which matter to you and weave my magic to create a drink which you will never want to stop drinking. It is intoxicating and invigorating, an addictive concoction that once you have taken your first sip you will continue to draw deep on.

You have no chance to escape because from the moment I cause you to look deep into my eyes I show you all the things that you want. I show you the world where you are queen, where nothing will ever hurt you, where your true worth has been recognised by me.

This world is perfect. Everything is in its place and accords with your values. You never stop to question how is it that I have been able to create this world so accurately and so brilliantly. You do not query how this creation is so magnificent because it is everything that you have always wanted.

From the fairy tale existence you promised yourself as a young girl through to the correct treatment that you deserve as the decent person that you are, everything appears on this world which I have tailor made for you. It is captivating, mesmerising and alluring.

You want this world more than anything you have ever known. You want to be absorbed by it and to fall deep into its fabric, cossetted by the security that it provides. Nothing goes wrong on this world, it is a clear utopia and best of all it is right there before you.

All you need to do is maintain my gaze, letting yourself fall deep, deep into this marvellous world and everything will be alright. Everything will remain wonderful.

What you never realise is that this world will be consumed in an instance. In just one blink, this utopia will be obliterated and it will be as if it never existed. The dark inky pools that are the reality of these eyes will devour this created world, erasing it just as readily as a black hole consuming a planet.

Once again the darkness will take hold and annihilate the fabrication which you held so dear. Even when this happens you will go on searching though. You will stare deep into my eyes, trying to find this world again amidst the ink-black darkness. There is no light that can shine any longer which may just happen to illuminate where this world has gone to.

The darkness is absolute because it is the darkness that is the reality. Not that it will stop you trying.

You will keep looking and searching, trying to find the perfect world once again, hoping for it to emerge into the light once again.

You will keep trying and that is why we show you the world in our eyes.

2 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : Your World In My Eyes

  1. Joa says:

    Oh… beautiful text! I feel familiar vibes right away πŸ™‚


    I decided to go a two steps further. My gosh, after a few weeks of silence, all I had to do was give him a finger and he wanted to absorb my entire hand. I wrote (I first) only: “Knock, knock” – to remind him about the payment. Nothing more.
    His enthusiasm was overwhelming. Several hundred messages in 10 hours (offf, tired me). Several phone calls (20 minutes on average). Two long video-connections (we saw each other, this way, for the first time in… 16 years).

    I allowed myself to attend his day, saying almost nothing about myself. I needed to take my mind off my business, from the stress of today.

    He was on way to London to meet lawyer. With him, I visited on-line parts of “old” London. He showed me wonderful buildings and surroundings. Beautiful city. Big buzz. I have to admit, that this kind of direct relationship impressed me.

    He is a good guide. Yes, I remember how 19 years ago, in exactly the same way – although “live” – ​​he charmed me with the capital of my country. As if the glamor and charm of these big cities, monuments, parks, something large and only vaguely known by me, flowed over him. Amazing skill.

    I noticed all the red flags, which I passed over silently, so as not to spoil the moment. One in particular immediately reminded me of the black, black, boundless abyss I once walked into (stomach clench). There were also two pins of pain – quick and very deep. A few seconds, as if he had inserted a splinter, and I was immediately removing it.

    Anyway, it was a wonderful change, a few hours of relaxation and even excitement and cheering similar to that during a football match or basketball tournament. Heh, I became a cheerleader, in one day of his life πŸ™‚

    He got so passionated, that he offered to buy a ticket to England for me and our daughter. Of course – an empty promise. I ignored it.
    Although I know what he can expect from me in the future.

    I wrote to my best friend at the end of the day:

    He doesn’t affect me as much as he used to. But yes, he still has that SOMETHING in him. I still have to be careful not to go too far.
    And the worst information, when it comes to video-conversation: Me – sitting in home clothes, no bra under the blouse, disheveled after shopping and housework, background – kitchen, tired after work, face marked with the time mark of 17 years of single motherhood, worries and struggle for existence. He – well dressed, suit; good posture; face a little older, but even better, more masculine than before. He focused on what he says and shows, not forgetting to show himself again and again πŸ™‚ Sometimes he glanced at me, just for a second, with his bright eyes, curiously studying the reaction – without interrupting the rapid flow of words. And the worst thing – our assumptions were not confirmed – he is not bald at all! Time did not take him even the hairs! πŸ™‚


    I am silent today. I enjoy, taking a break from him. Until next week. I need to get something from him. This time, I’m not sure of the result. The situation can change dramatically.

    1. Joa says:

      I wrote it wrong. I’m sure of the result in… 95% πŸ™‚ I’m not sure what way (light or hard) I will have to “earn” this result.


      “I love trains.” – he wrote – “The view outside the window always reminds me of a passing life. When you look closely, you can see the details, but only for a moment and then they quickly disappear (…) I don’t like repetitions. (…) And of course, I absolutely love, that when I get on the train I can be a completely different person than when I get off.”

      And a stupid, sneering smile. Wrrr…

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