Knowing the Narcissist : The Codependent Empath

20 thoughts on “Knowing the Narcissist : The Codependent Empath

  1. Dani says:

    Mr. Tudor–

    1. Can non-narcissists trigger someone to switch to co-dependency?
    2. How long can you (personally) keep someone operating in CoD mode if they are a standard or super majority?
    3. Does how long a narcissist can keep a CoD (non-majority) operating in CoD mode just depend on the percentage of CoD present/number of triggers?
    4. How do those who aren’t majority CoD/have a very small number of triggers describe feeling a certain way after they realize they have been used?

    Thank you so much for your time. I greatly appreciate it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. Yes, co-dependency can also manifest outside of the empath/narcissist dynamic.
      2. As long as I deem necessary.
      3. No, that is a factor more relevant to frequency than duration.

      1. Dani says:

        Thank you, sir.

        Regarding bringing out a minority CoD for you personally…

        1. Is this more often done for fuel or control or other reasons?
        2. Is it about alleviating your boredom?
        3. Hypothetical majority carrier super empath with minority of geyser and co-dependent…do you find that when you switch the person to CoD mode that you get more geyser responses?
        4. If you’re doing this to an IPPS (switching from super to CoD), does this begin happening with greater frequency when the golden period ends?

        Regarding “As long as you deem it necessary”
        6. Does this time proportionally more effort if there are fewer triggers?
        7. Say you switch someone to CoD in an argument before bed…do they ‘reset’ to their majority overnight? Do you have to renew the manipulations in the morning?

        It would be fascinating and informative to hear more about how you bring out the co-dependent when it is a minority/insignificant school. I think it could be very helpful, too.

        Thank you so much for your time. I greatly appreciate it.

      2. Asp Emp says:

        HG, RE: your answer in # 1. I had wondered about that, through my observations.

        1. Dani says:

          Hi Asp Emp,

          Have you observed co-dependency being triggered in others or the co-dependent behavior being triggered in yourself?

          1. Rebecca says:


            My codependency gets triggered often, it’s annoying at times and other times I don’t even realize it.

          2. Asp Emp says:

            Dani, have you read ‘Chained’?

          3. Dani says:

            Hello Rebecca,

            Thank you so much for answering.

            1. Do you have a high percentage of CoD school?
            2. Have many people used your CoD to take advantage of you?
            3. When you notice the activation of your CoD, does it seem like the individual, in general, is one who is sporadic or habitual?
            4. Do you sometimes realize it a few days later?
            5. Have you had any success addressing what you know triggers the CoD behavior?

          4. Dani says:

            Hello Asp-Emp, I haven’t read “Chained” yet.

  2. Leela_Z says:

    Yes! This is exactly my mom! Married to Patri Narc for almost 60 years, never tried to escape, clinging on Patri Narc, being his 24/7 servant and this means even abusing her own child! How an a so called Co-Dependent “Empath” have ZERO empathy for HER OWN CHILD?!

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Zero empathy is the hallmark of a narc – not of an empath.

      1. Leela_Z says:

        My mom has no sense of entitlement, is not seeking fuel.

        1. Duchessbea says:

          Leela_Z, sorry to read about your family. I would agree with the comment NarcAngel made about being a narc. Remember the narc is very good a portraying one thing, whilst they are another. Being fake and acting are second nature. Not easy to accept and I’m sure HG could give you some advice.

  3. Rebecca says:

    This explains so much of my behaviors and the urge and attraction to the narcissist I have and deal with. Thank you for this knowledge xx

  4. Contagious says:

    I am not COD but it sounds like out of all categories of empaths they have the most trouble breaking away. True?

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. Contagious says:

        So does this mean most or the majority of narcs favor them? I would think so.

        1. Rebecca says:


          The Codependent empath, as HG wrote in his CHAINED book, “The Codependent is the holy grail” Read the book, It’ll answer more of your questions. Xx

    2. Joa says:

      It’s even harder to be in a relationship with someone “normal” (drink, eat, sleep). It is… impossible. I might as well die.

      1. Contagion says:

        Joa: have you tried with normals? Empaths? Or have you been stuck narc to narc? You sound like you have experienced other types of relationships? X I was lucky most of mine have been with normals or empaths long term so I know the difference. The highs I reached with empath kings were beautiful and didn’t last due to life choices ie I wanted to move away and study law or I wanted children and he didn’t. With my normals, it was timing or once I lacked passion sexually. But with my narcs and there were two, it was a dramatic situation of ups and downs. Great euphoria and deep pain with my ex husband an antisocial it was stable and boring until I left when I discovered his crimes. He wasn’t happy I left. If I had to choose it would be my noble empaths. Fairy tales.

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