How to Stop the Hoovers
The hoover and the narcissist. They go together like gin and tonic, cheese and onion and Laurel and Hardy. Where there is a narcissist, there comes hoovers – whether they are benign or malign, they will happen and you need to know how to stop them.
In this detailed Assistance Package you will learn about
How the different schools of narcissist operate with regard to hoovers
Why does the narcissist hoover?
What does the narcissist want to obtain from you?
Why do victims struggle to prevent hoovers?
What the two fundamental elements are with regard to hoovering
Your part in the success or failure with regard to preventing hoovers
The role salami slicing plays in hoovers and how it is so dangerous
The Hoover Carriers
The need to Close the Bridges
A wide range of tips and techniques to help you Close the Bridges
Identification of the key areas to enable you to stop the hoovers
What forces the narcissist to go elsewhere
How to avoid advertising yourself for hoovers.
Everything you need to STOP the hoovers is here.
5 thoughts on “How to Stop the Hoovers”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Arya
Also, if you haven’t already, reading HG’s book Exorcism may assist.
Arya,
I second NA on Exorcism. An excellent recommendation.
I guess, yesterday, I received a first time a benign hoover since I left in February: “please, forgive me for everything. I sincerely ask for your forgiveness for turning out to be not a good husband to you. I’m being torn apart more and more with each passing day. I have loved you like no one else, ever. I hope you’ll take care of V (our son) if something happens to me.”
Fuck, it made me cry. Idk, why. I don’t love him anymore, probably a memory still remains how I loved him at the beginning. I lost my mind. I was so happy. And then it all slowly went to mental hell for me. Narcissists are good with words, that’s for sure. Hard to believe it’s all just lies and manipulations. He doesn’t even realizing that.
How could he write me this after everything he told me and did to me since February. My initial reaction was to reply to him and list all the things he did, but I stopped, it’s useless, he would just shift a blame into me as usual, that it was all my fault and I ruined eveything. Anyway, it’s over. I will never come back.
Arya
Hold that line!
Glad to hear you resisted as you are correct – any further interaction will just perpetuate more misery. His truth is his truth and the narcissism rejects any other (such as yours). You will just go round and round. Might you have been upset because you had a moment in mourning of what could have been against the logic of what is? That is your emotional thinking trying to get a foothold. It is a bear, and it happens to all of us. Logic isn’t sexy but it’s a savior. Stay with logic and hold that line.
NarcAngel,
Thank you for your reply. ” Might you have been upset because you had a moment in mourning of what could have been” – yes, you are right. And, yes, I will stay with logic. Btw, I think, logic is sexy, actually.
My emotional thinking is almost dead now, just occasionally rises to a surface like a zombie, then walks for an hour or two with stretched arms, trying to grab me and return to the familiar hell down below, but it fails, so it collapses to the ground. And I smashed its head with a high heel to make sure it’s finally dead, but it comes to life still occasionally. F*r. Maybe I need to shoot it.
It is triggered by a communication with him, which, unfortunately, I cannot avoid (block him), due to coparenting over our 7 years old son. Today I was again black for him, received a voice message what an awful mother I’m. It impacted me for an hour, but then it was gone. So I’m good, I guess.