H.G Tudor - Smeared e-book cover

 

The smear campaign is a well-used and devastating narcissistic tool. With the unrivalled insight provided by a narcissist, this book explains why they are used, why they are so effective, who is involved in them and why, why people respond as they do to them plus more fascinating insights and enlightenment. This book also provides practical and effective methods of countering the smear campaign to ally to your new found understanding.

Clear the smear !

US e-book here

UK e-book here

CAN e-book here

AUS e-book here

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EMPATH DETECTOR

Understanding the relevant school and cadre of empath that you belong to is an integral part of arming yourself so that you effect a GOSO Campaign (Get Out, Stay Out) with the maximum effectiveness.

Recognising where you belong with regard to one of the four schools of empath and then the relevant cadre not only aids you in learning more about yourself and how your school and cadre attracts particular narcissists, it will weaponise you in your quest to GOSO and also assist you in evading narcissists in the future.

This consultation is conducted through the provision of a protocol which is straightforward and provides confidentiality between the parties. A questionnaire is provided which elicits a broad range of information about you and your behaviours to enable me to then analyse your responses and provide you with an accurate and easy to understand response through an audio sound file.

Ensuring you know what you are means you will avoid the mistakes that occur with self-analysis through lacking objectivity. It will ensure you do not embark on courses of action which are suited to different schools and it also enables you to plug the gaps in your own defences and achieve GOSO sooner and with less effort.

Process

  1. Please effect payment using the PayPal button below. Your financial details are not seen. The fee is just US $ 100.
  2. You will then be sent the Common Sense Protocol and the Empath Detector Questionnaire.
  3. You complete the Empath Questionnaire and e-mail this to narcissist1909@gmail.com . Please keep your response to 1200 words and under. If you need to exceed this you can obtain additional word bundles at US $ 40 per 500 words required to cover the additional reading and consideration time. Please advise if you require this in addition.
  4. I will analyse your information and then provide you with your school and cadre of empath with explanation within 96 hours of receipt of the questionnaire through a report identifying the relevant elements applicable to your school and cadre and determining your prevailing school and prevailing cadre, based on the answers and information that you have provided..

If you have any further questions about the consultation, do e-mail me at narcissist1909@gmail.com to learn more.

 

Empath Detector


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HOOVER RISK _ THE NEED FOR THE LAST

I often reinforce how the key to understanding who you have been entangled with and therefore maximising your own prospects of moving on is to comprehend that we operate from a different perspective from you. That is why so much of what we say and do appears odd, irrational and downright perverse to you, yet completely normal and understandable to us.

One of those ways in which the perspective affects the dynamic between my kind and your kind is the fact that we always want the final word. Now, of course, it may have occurred to you that since we regard the Narcissistic Relationship as one which lasts forever, how can there really be a last word? Once again, this does not matter to us and this highlights the contradictory nature of the way by which we behave. We are the ones in control and we must always exert that state of affairs. Therefore, within the Formal Relationship we want the last word in any discussion or argument. We want the last word when issuing our opinion about something. We want the last word when the Formal Relationship has been brought to conclusion. Indeed, even if you end the Formal Relationship and escape us we will still maintain that we had the last word and we ended it. We will skew the situation to maintain our control and sense of power, irrespective of what might actually have happened. This causes confusion, frustration and astonishment for you, which of course is all good fuel to us.

The need for the last word is also a device which is designed to set us on a collision course with your kind. You also want to have the last word. You want to be able to say your piece. You feel that it is only right that you are heard. You believe it to be a fundamental part of any relationship that you are heard and because you find yourself so annoyed, upset and frustrated with the way that we operate, this desire to have the last word, set us straight and assert your position becomes all the more important to you. If the Formal Relationship has ended, you also want to have the last say. You want to let us know what you really think of us. You want to make some last plea to the normalcy you believe still lurks somewhere inside of us. You want to make us hear you, listen and somehow accept that we are wrong and you are right. This desire of yours to say the last word is considerable and flies in the face of our own desire which of course leads to conflict, drama and opposition, all of which creates fuel which is what we want. You are left infuriated if you cannot have your say. You are furious if you have been denied the chance to articulate how you feel. You are upset that your desire to say what you want to say has been ignored, disregarded and treated in a roughshod manner. You want finality. You want some kind of closure and having the last say as we both stare at one another across the smoking ruins of our Formal Relationship is something which matters to you tremendously. We know this. This is why we make it so damn difficult for you to achieve, either talking over you, shouting you down, walking away or just disappearing. You feel cut-off, denied, unfulfilled and this gives us both Thought Fuel and Proximate Fuel if we stay to witness the reaction.

You are preoccupied with thinking about the injustice you have suffered at our hands. the sheer unfairness of what has happened, the need for restitution. You want us to know what we are. You want us to realise that we are bad, awful, horrible, an abuser. You want us to know how you feel. You want to say your piece, articulate your anger, your pain, your bewilderment. Your emotional thinking relishes this happening. If you are thinking about delivering any of the above, in person, through text or smoke signal. If you are discussing this need with a friend or therapist. If you are reading the latest piece of provocation that we have sent you, querying why you have behaved so abominably, criticising your past weekend behaviour with the children or demanding you repay us for some debt. Any and all of these matters will heighten your emotional thinking which will want to go one step further and make you engage with us either by confronting us in person, by ringing us up or firing off that venomous late night text volley.

Your emotional thinking will corrupt your empathic traits of fairness, honesty and decency. It will corrupt those narcissistic traits of pride and envy. Most of all however it will hone in on your empathic truth seeker trait in order to make you endeavour to deliver (your) truth to us in one last proclamation, a final declaration, that signing-off.

When that text arrives and finds you because your no contact regime is poor, it baits you and how many times have you failed to resist responding to this provocation. You have to set us straight, you have to put us right, you just cannot leave it be. Full of righteous indignation, bristling with anger, brimming with (your truth) you have to have that last word and you respond. You text. You email. You social media message. You call. You appear in person.

You provide us with pure fuel or challenge fuel. You risk an adverse response. You heighten your emotional thinking further and get drawn into a war of words, an array of accusations and a tussle of the (differing) truths.

And all this do

The need to have the last word also leads to you being susceptible to being hoovered because you feel that there are loose ends which need tying up. We instinctively  know this and rely on it to keep you hooked and providing fuel to us without ever allowing you to tie up those loose ends correctly. It is all part of the way we continue to manipulate you. No doubt you have found yourself in such a situation. You may now have moved on and know that the last thing you ought to do is engage with us in this way, no matter how tempting it might be. You have learned it will only result in fuel, if handled incorrectly and at worse you might even succumb to our charm once again and be sucked into the Formal Relationship again. Yet the desire to say those things you wish you had been able to say all that time ago or even more recently remains strong and powerful. Of course what you might say now would perhaps differ from what you might have said back then, when you did not know better than what you know now. You did not know what you had been entangled with, nor how you had been manipulated and thus your words would take on a different form compared to if you said them now, armed with knowledge and understanding.

Think back, when the need to say those last words arose, if you could have said them, at the time, what would they have been?

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I must adopt the standpoint that every one of my victims is lying. There is no hope for me to be any different. You level accusations at me and I know you are lying because the comments make no sense to me. I gave you a fabulous and perfect love and you accepted that. You willingly entered into a union with me and with that you received my largesse and favour. You did not demur or hesitate. Instead, you embraced everything wonderful about what I gave you. Be it the expensive gifts, eloquent expressions of my love or the seemingly never-ending array of glamorous occasions to attend, you took them all. Do you have any idea how much energy I channelled into doing this for you? The repeated text messages, the “sudden appearances” which were in fact carefully crafted and organised, the many telephone calls that I made to you at all different times? All of that took a considerable effort on my part. Yet now, when I am tired and I lose my temper you accuse me of not caring. How can I not care? I am with you am I not? Have you forgotten everything that I ever did for you? It seems to me that you have. What was that vow you said with such enthusiasm, for better and for worse? You have had the better (in fact you received the best) and now it is time for some of the worse, yet you will not tolerate that will you? No, it is clear that you lied. You lied when we got married because now you are reneging on that vow. How do you think that makes me feel? Is it any surprise that I am angry with you when you question me since you have no standing to do so?

You accuse me of not listening. That is another lie. What is there for me to hear? You trot out the same old allegations which are unfounded. At times I cannot discern what you are actually saying because you are so hysterical. How on earth can I listen to you when you behave like that? It is downright unreasonable. You go off and complain about me to your friends and family. That is charming. You are denigrating me in their eyes and that is uncalled for. Yes, I may do it about you, but that is with some justification I might add. You also said you would forsake all others, yet how many times have I caught you flirting with other men from your workplace? What about those pictures of you and your friends with those men you met in a bar which were posted on Facebook. You thought I would not see them didn’t you? Yes, I keep a careful eye on what your friends’ post as they are not to be trusted, leading you astray when you promised that you would do not. Is it any wonder I feel compelled to spend time with other people when you treat me like this?

You accepted everything wonderful that I gave you and now when it is time to give back and add some balance to the equation you seek to escape your responsibilities by accusing me of all manner of misdemeanours and malevolent behaviour. Your hypocrisy sticks in my craw. I know your game, I have you in my eye. You are seeking to deflect attention from your own wrongdoing by telling lies about me. Ha! I have you worked out missy, I always have and you are not as smart as me. You deliberately misunderstand what I say. You imply and insinuate when I have made myself clear. I will not be beaten by your mendacity, no I will not. I will stand strong and ensure that I reflect back on to you the lies you have told. I must do this to avoid your desire to crush and destroy my fragile self with your perfidious ways. I never knew you could be so evil.

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I wrote previously about the situation where you tell a lesser member of our kind that you know what they are and how they react to it. What then of the response of those of us who belong to the greater school of narcissism? How do we react when you tell us that you know exactly what we are?

Those of us in the greater school possess three attributes which are relevant to this matter. Awareness, intelligence and malice. We know what we do. We know that this is regarded as wrong by other people (although we are always able to justify our behaviour when considered from our perspective) and we know that our behaviour hurts people but again it is entirely acceptable because we matter and you do not. We are superior and our sense of entitlement allows us to do as we please. We also do not possess the burden of guilt, remorse or compassion and therefore the effects of our behaviour cause us no trouble. There is no moral compass to guide us or hinder us. We may also be aware of exactly what we are, a narcissist. This is not always the case but we do know that we do is considered as abusive. We are intelligent enough to realise that the accusations of abuse fit with what is regarded as abuse, but we are also intelligent enough to know that we must engage in this behaviour because it is necessary to the preservation of our existence. The inherent tension that might exist between choosing to abuse someone and the impact on our existence is one whereby the need to exist will always outweigh the downsides of abusing someone (which are few when looked at through our world view. You would feel “bad” for hurting someone, you would be concerned about how this would affect you relationship or your friendship, you would worry about how others would view you, you would be concerned if it involved the authorities, your employer, your church and so forth. These concerns are much reduced in our world).

You may not realise that we are a narcissist but you do know our behaviour is abusive. Should you label us as an abuser and in support of this contention list the various instances of our behaviour, how do we respond. Our reaction is not subconscious and immediate like those of our lesser kind. We do not respond in a knee jerk reaction. We know that we are abusive and your labelling of us as such initially has two reactions.

The first is that we fear that we are losing control. Control is hugely important to us because we want you doing everything that we want and nothing that we do not want in order to ensure that you provide us with fuel. Our machinations and manipulations are all designed to gain and maintain control. Much of this is achieved by you remaining oblivious to what is happening to you or mitigating its effect by blaming yourselves (which we aim to achieve) or making excuses for us (again, something we aim to bring about). If you do not truly understand what is happening to you, you remain paralysed in this confusion and you will not do anything about it. You will not challenge us, you will not try to escape us, you will not shut off the supply of fuel. Accordingly, we need to keep you bound to us and compliant. This requires control. If we think that our control is being challenged, is slipping or is being eroded then we must establish it and do so quickly. I will return to how this is done in a moment.

The second reaction is that your moment of enlightenment that we are an abuser (or even worse you actually know we are a narcissist) is one of wounding. You have found us out. You have seen through us. You have worked us out. The potential loss of control is troubling, this being found out is terrifying and damaging. You have wounded us because you have criticised us. By telling us that you know what we are, we have failed in maintaining the state of confusion, bewilderment and ignorance. You have pierced the veil. We are mightier than you, superior to you and better than you, how can it be that someone like you has managed to unravel what we are? What else are you capable of? Who might you tell? We have failed. We hate failing. It reminds us of things we have consigned to the darkest recesses of our mind and now you, you hateful, treacherous, disloyal bitch have done this on purpose. You have done this after everything that we have done for you, because you want to hurt us don’t you? This failure to keep you in the dark amounts to a massive criticism of us. This in turn ignites the churning fury that is always there beneath the surface. This ignited fury will mean we either withdraw, unleash cold fury or unleash heated fury.

Our awareness of what we are actually makes us more vulnerable to the accusation of “I know what you are, you are an abuser, a narcissist” than those of our lesser or mid-range brethren. We are far more susceptible to being wounded by this outing. Our awareness equates to a weakness.

All is not lost for us of course. Our intelligence means that whilst we know what we are and we are wounded by your awareness and accusation, we are not without the means of addressing it. Our intelligence allows us to deflect and deny. We will utilise these twins to fight back, applying our considerable minds to deny what you have said. We will challenge your evidence, deny its existence, twist it around, pull it apart, change the subject, focus on something different, blame-shift and project. Powered by our heated fury this onslaught will be brutal and sustained as we fight to regain control. We will batter you into submission so that you become frightened, upset, angry or frustrated and thus you will give us fuel. Our further manipulations will allow us to regain control as you shrink back from our vicious words. Everything will be thrown at you in order to stop the wounding, regain control and gain the required fuel to power this defence mechanism.

If the situation is one where we cannot risk heated fury then we will issue a flat denial and engage cold fury by subjecting you to an icy and prolonged silent treatment, either of the present or absent variety.

If really necessary and this is of the last resort, we will withdraw to escape your wounding and find solace with another who will provide us fuel to repair the gaping wound that you have ripped in us. We will remain away from you for some time as we recover and enjoy the fuel from other sources as we recuperate. We will return of course because there is a score to settle and more fuel to draw from you, but for now that will have to wait.

We will also engage our energies, once we have gained more fuel (either from you if we unleash our heated fury, from you and others if we unleash cold fury and from others if we withdraw) in rolling out a smear campaign against you. Now you know what we are and we know you know, we need to ensure that this pollution does not spread elsewhere. We will up our seduction of other sources so that they like us all the more and ensure we spread poison about you so you are not believed if you try to tell other people that you know what we are.

Finally, the third attribute comes into play. Malice. The mid-range of our kind would withdraw and seek fuel elsewhere and be done with you for some time until a hoover of positive fuel through a Benign Hoover takes place. The mid-range of our kind would unleash heated fury or cold fury to stabilise the position but then would engage a Respite Hoover or a Preventative Hoover aimed at playing down what you know, restoring the golden period for a while so you focus on that and not this new knowledge or to prevent you leaving us armed with this new knowledge. The mid-range narcissist would do all of this to try and diffuse the situation and prevent it being brought up again. This does not apply to those of us who are of the greater variety. You must be punished for your terrible offence against us. Your transgression must be addressed. Your treachery must meet with a consequence. Once we have established control again and recovered from your awful wounding of us then you will be subject to a malign and brutal campaign as punishment for what you have done. This will happen if you remain with us in a relationship. It will happen if you have tried to escape us. We want to rain hell fire down on you in order to punish you for your disgusting behaviour. This is our right. This is our entitlement. This is how we respond.

You may know what we are, but if you are dealing with the greater of our kind, you may reflect on whether you really ought to make it known to us.

 

ZERO IMPACT

The Zero Impact Assistance Package

Do you want to achieve Zero Impact and ensure the effect of the narcissist is removed?

Do you want to rid yourself of the pain, anger, frustration and hurt which your entanglement with the narcissist has caused?

Do you want to finally arrive at that place of indifference so that the narcissist has zero impact upon you?

If you do, then this crucial Assistance Package will provide you with the clear means to achieve these goals.

The Assistance Package through a set of audio files will give you clear, concise and easy to understand information, techniques and guidance so you will achieve Zero Impact.

It covers :-

– Understanding the effect of emotional thinking and where this comes from.

Recognising what you do when affected by emotional thinking and how this works against you

Understanding the mistakes you make which usually prevent you achieving zero impact and thus how to avoid them

– Recognising why emotional thinking is so powerful and the extent of its effect on you, so you know how to frame your responses to it.

The mechanisms which must be deployed to secure Zero Impact, how you create those mechanisms and apply them

How zero impact occurs as a consequence of the applied mechanisms so you understand and can gauge that it is working

Learning what happens when you have reached Zero Impact and how this benefits you

-Understanding what Zero Impact does to the narcissist

Learning how to maintain Zero Impact once achieved

To secure this fantastic Assistance Package which can be repeatedly utilised to aid your mastery of Zero Impact, use the PayPal button below, the cost is US $ 200. You will receive a short protocol with regard to the use of the Assistance Package and then the relevant material so you can commence your march towards donning the armour that is ZERO IMPACT.

Zero Impact Asst Package

 

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The issue about the state of awareness of our kind is a central piece of the puzzle. Victims struggle with the proposition that someone behaves in such a way as we do yet does not see what they are doing. How can he not realise what he is doing? How can he not see that he is wrong? How can he not accept that I am right, I have the evidence in my hands? How can he not grasp that it is him and not me that is causing the problems? How can he not recognise that he is being selfish, hurtful or abusive? How can someone not know that they are behaving in this manner? I daresay you have said one or more of those questions at some point. Our awareness of what we are also dovetails with your awareness of what we are. As I have pointed out previously, next to nobody spots our kind when we first entangle with you. Even if you have been ensnared by one of our kind already, you stand a good chance of being ensnared a second time. Often the realisation as to what has happened to you may not take place for many years after the event or once the discard has taken place. You may realise that you have been entangled by a narcissist during the devaluation or more likely when we return looking to effect a post-discard/escape hoover. Almost without exception, once you have realised who you have become entangled with you have the overwhelming desire to tell us that you know what we are. It is a moment of triumph surely? You have been advised by an outside influence and/or you have read extensively and so many of our behaviours match with that of the narcissist. You have had your “aha” moment and whilst your head may still be swimming from the experience, your heart pulled all over the place and so many questions remained unanswered, you now know what we are. You have the knowledge and you are going to unmask us by telling us straight that you know and you are going to tell us direct what we are. It is time for you to strike a long overdue blow back at us. Thus, armed with this knowledge, what can you expect to happen? As you would expect, the response of the narcissist depends on which type you have become involved with. Let us begin with the Lesser Narcissist.

The Lesser does not know what he is. He acts through instinct, reaction and knee-jerk responses. If you tell a Lesser that he is a narcissist, chances are he may not even understand what you mean. If you have expressed this knowledge in a fuel free fashion, if he does not understand what one is you would most likely be met with the ignition of his fury and comments such as

“Why are using fancy words all of a sudden?”

“What are you using dictionary words for? Are you trying to make out that you are better than me?”

His inability to understand what you mean will be perceived by him as a criticism of him. He will feel wounded and thus his fury will be ignited. Lacking much in the way of control he will lash out at you as he instinctively seeks fuel for the purpose of healing his wound. He does not know that this is what is happening, nor does he understand his reaction, but this is what will happen. If you happen to have gained your awareness from a book and you use that to justify the label expect that book to be torn in half or thrown on a fire as knee-jerk response.

If the Lesser has some understanding of what a narcissist is, he will again only see it as criticism. Like many he will consider the label to only mean that he loves himself. You can expect responses such as: –

“Are you saying I love myself? Huh, guess I have to because you don’t anymore do you?”

“I love myself. You have some cheek. Have you seen the way you go on, preening yourself and swanning around?”

The Lesser will immediately deflect this perceived criticism by turning the position around and engaging in blame-shifting against you. He will seize on any evidence to hand which shows that you are the self-love and not him. If you have recently bought some new clothing, you can expect that to be brought up and you challenged for your spending habits. Said clothing is likely to be ripped or thrown away. If you have a range of potions and lotions which you use as part of your beauty regime, they will be seized on as evidence that you love yourself. They will be thrown around the room as the fury ignites, poured down the sink or smashed up.

The Lesser will not and cannot accept that he is a narcissist. He does not know what he is and therefore has no awareness. If you attempt to “educate him” by explaining the various traits and behaviours of narcissism and link it to the way he behaves, if you do this in a neutral fashion you will be heaping more criticism on him. Every point you made will be met with deflection and denial.

If you say,

“Look, I am just trying to get you to see that when you go out and disappear drinking before coming home and demanding sex, you are not showing any thought for me and ignoring my boundaries, that is the behaviour of a narcissist.”

You will be met with,

“Oh so now I am not allowed to go out drinking am I?”

“I don’t demand sex, you never give me any as it is and anyway you should, what’s got into you these days? Getting it somewhere else are we?”

“Boundaries? Narcissist? Who has been filling you head with this shit? I bet it was Lucy wasn’t it, she has never liked me.”

As the ignited fury erupts you will witness the paranoia, blame-shifting, denial, projection and deflection as the Lesser avoids discussing the issue. It does not register with him at all. No matter how obvious it may seem to you, he cannot grasp that he can be at any fault. It may be plain as day to you, the narcissistic behaviour matches exactly with what he does, but for all your explaining he will not accept it. Firstly, he will not do so because he does not know what he is, therefore he lacks the capacity to accept it. Secondly, even if he could he will not because of the defence mechanism that we have, namely that we are not accountable.

The denial and deflection will continue until you show signs of exasperation, upset or anger. When this fuel appears, this will assist the Lesser in healing the wounds he has and therefore he will, instinctively, be looking to push you to providing him with fuel through his responses. If your questioning persists and is done in a neutral manner, he will be forced to lash out (of course you will be blamed for his) which will result in verbal violence, destruction of property and physical violence as well. The Lesser’s paranoia will convince him that you are trying to catch him out in a way which he does not understand (nor can he) and all he knows is that he feels a sense of considerable discomfort. He does not know that this is caused by the failure to provide fuel and the wounding caused by your repeated criticisms. He will instinctively need to protect himself and this means getting fuel. He needs to head off your “oh so clever” comments – hence the denial and deflection, but he cannot control the ignited fury which ignites in order to seek the necessary fuel.

If you persist with pointing out what he is and there is no fuel provision he will evade you as he goes in search of fuel from someone else and in order to get away from the source of his annoyance.

A Lesser is unlikely to accuse you of being a narcissist because he has no real understanding of what you are referring to. What he will do however is throw back at you the constituent parts which you identify as narcissistic behaviours, at you. This is to defend himself from the criticism attached with this. This is to defend himself because he cannot be accountable for any kind of failure or weakness. This is done as a reaction to try and cause you to react to these allegations so you give fuel. You end up justifying that you are not the narcissist, thus he is (through instinct rather than calculated design) able to halt the wounding attack from you and gain fuel into the bargain as you protect about how you do not love yourself, that you care about him and other people, that you recognise boundaries and so forth.

You will never ever convince a Lesser Narcissist that he is one. He just cannot comprehend it. That is why although his behaviours match those of our kind, he cannot see it. He no insight whatsoever. All you will do is cause him to defend himself, have his fury ignited and ultimately cause him to lash out at you. Do not waste your time trying to convince him. You will not. If you want to wound him, tell him, but then withdraw otherwise you will find yourself on the receiving end of some savage ignited fury.

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Positivity. Positive outlook. Optimism. The empathic individual which is the target for our kind is blessed with positivity. This ingrained positivity allows them to see the good in people, it enables them to find the silver lining in the gathered storm clouds and grants a motivating factor. By adopting a positive outlook in their life, the empathic individual is inspired to achieve more, to dispel the bad and seize on whatever goodness they can identify, even if it is the merest kernel. This trait enables the empathic individual to cast their optimistic eyes over the bleakest of scenarios and see that there is something good which can be learned from the experience, something decent which is in the pipeline and something to be cherished. In its purest form it manifests as a blind optimism and this powers the empathic individual so they are able to overcome what might be regarded as insurmountable by lesser individuals.

This empathic trait causes the relevant person to reflect on what they have learned from an experience, how the occasion was good for them in testing them, causing them to utilise their resources and to work out a way forward when faced with a problem. Whilst a normal individual might bemoan the situation that has befallen them (and indeed our kind would address it by blaming everybody else and leaving them to pick up the pieces), the empathic individual’s innate positivity causes them to see an opportunity. They see the chance to enrich their own experience, to grow as a person and to demonstrate that with positive thought, positive action and positive attitude no problem is too great, no issue is incapable of resolution and no setback is forever.

Whilst being imbued with this sense of positivity allows an empathic individual to demonstrate fortitude, pragmatism and optimism in their lives and thus they bring with them the capacity to enrich the lives of others, the trait of positivity also generates problems when dealing with our kind.

The positivity invariably blinds the empathic person to what they are actually dealing with. The false positivity which we radiated through our love bombing and the golden period convinces the empathic person that we are indeed a ‘good’ person. Thus, when the monster appears during devaluation, rather than see it for what it is, the manipulations and machinations of a twisted and abusive person, the positive empath strives to harness the good which once existed again. This creates a near indefatigable spirit which in turn causes the empathic person to remain in our grip for far longer than is good for them.

Naturally, this is of no concern to us since we want you to remain in our grip. We want you bound to us and your unrelenting belief that the goodness that you have seen can be brought to the fore again is a weakness of this positivity and invariably puts you at risk. When others would retreat in the face of the eroding and savage manipulations, the empathic individual remains positive. Not only do they wish to sweep away the darkness and find the good in us once again, they regard it as a test of their resolve and therefore increase their positive outlook in order to cater with the slings and arrows which are sent their way.

This positivity lend itself to the making of excuses. Rather than realise that they have been entangled by a deceitful, manipulative abuser, the empathic individual will look to environmental factors – such as the fact that we are tired, stressed or over-worked since that must be what it is that is clouding our innate and once seen inner goodness. If those external factors continue to fail to explain our behaviours, the empathic individual will become introspective and consider that the problem has arisen as a consequence of some failing on their part. They consider that they have not shown us enough love, not asked us how our days has gone, not been supportive enough when we have faced a challenge, not cooked our steak correctly and ever more trivial and meaningless excuses which are trotted out in order to maintain a positive outlook and not give in.

By adopting positivity, the empathic individual places stock in the fact that with the right effort and application things will be worked out and once more will be good again. When a respite period is granted by us during the devaluation, the empathic individual will seize on this as evidence of how their positive outlook has reaped rewards. By hanging in there, never giving up and remaining upbeat they have allowed their positivity to shine through and this has saved the day. Once again however, this dedication to remaining positive has caused the empathic person to fail to notice that this is all part of the ongoing manipulation and is just a brief and passing restoration of the illusion that is the golden period and is done to exploit this belief in remaining positive.

Positivity causes the empath to misguidedly believe that we can be fixed and healed. This positive outlook means that when an objective third party points out the reality of the situation to the empath, they smile and thank them for their observation but find an excuse and point to how remaining true to being positive will once again resolve the issues. The viewpoint is one of if you want something enough then the universe will provide it to you and those with a positive outlook do not waste time wondering why things do not happen as they wish, but rather they do something to bring about what they want and to change things. This attitude may be appropriate to securing a promotion at work, saving to purchase your dream home or being thought of as a kind person by your friends, but it only serves to blind you to what you have been entangled with when it comes to our kind.

It means you are enmeshed with us for longer than you ought to be. It means you suffer the devaluation and all of its awful outcomes to a greater degree than you should. It means that you remain highly susceptible to being hoovered post discard because you believe that we will ultimately see the error of our ways and that we will recognise we have done wrong so that we return to the wonderful, loving and charming person that once seduced you.

Those with this empathic trait in intense amounts will not countenance the manifestation of negativity. They will fight down their anger and replace it with concern. They will dissolve their frustration and exhibit caring instead. This sublimation of emotions only serves to encourage our devaluation as we strive to shatter the positivity and see the tears, the hurt and the despair. Your rejection of negativity means you will not hear ill spoken of us, you will not blame us for what we do and rather than take heed of the negative thoughts which will and do manifest in your mind, you try to force them to one side by engaging in your trait of positivity.

This is a dangerous path to tread. Not only does it blind you to what we are and bind us to you for longer, it means that ultimately you are setting yourself up for devastating disappointment. When the full force of our machinations have been unleashed against you and your considerable coping abilities have been stretched beyond endurance, once this all comes crashing down, the height from which you maintained your positivity means that your fall is all the harder, longer and more painful.

When that discard takes you by surprise, you plummet from your perch of positivity and crash into the dirt, bewildered, exhausted and drained. Yet, it does not take long for this positive trait to re-appear as you soon begin to apply it again, making excuses for why we disappeared, making plans for how matters can be resolved if we just sit down and have a constructive conversation together and how it was good for you to experience this despair, because now you know more than you once did and you can apply this learned experience to your and our advantage by winning us back and helping us with our problems. You can tease out that inner goodness because you will not allow yourself to think it does not exist. To do so offends your sense of positivity.

Negative thoughts however can serve a positive purpose for you, if only you would listen to them. Negative thoughts such as fear manifest to tell you to protect yourself, to defend yourself and to get away from the danger. You however remain in the firing line because you reject the negative and embrace the positive. A negative thought such as feeling unappreciated, lonely or hurt should be recognised as a warning and acted upon, however, the strength of your positivity will invariably override this until it is too late. Indeed, there are those whose degree of positivity is so great that they have become deluded as to what we are and how dangerous we are to you. They are blinded and no matter how often we dole out our cruel treatments, no matter how often others point out the harm that is being caused, they cannot see it because of the effect of their innate positivity.

To do so is indeed a sin in the context of being ensnared with our kind.

The positivity which you should embrace ought to be applied to yourself; that your encounter with us should cause you to learn what we are and how to avoid and evade us in the future.