One of my doctors, I call him Doctor E (for earnest) asked me what my favourite colour is. I was delighted to enlighten him about this. I explained that it is not red ; too many people like red and I am not too many people. Far from it. I followed this by explaining that pink, being a tint of red is similarly displeasing. Dr E was unaware that red is the only colour that has a separate name for one of its tints, i.e. pink. I sensed Dr E does not know as much as he should. I dismissed yellow as that is the colour of emotional fragility and I don’t have a yellow streak. Orange is for children. Brown. Ugh, brown is the lumpy, unsophisticated colour of the prole. My skin crawls at the thought of that colour. Violet is the favourite colour of my ex-wife so that can be discounted too. Alongwith green for the same reason. Silver is the colour of the runner-up and therefore not applicable to me. He interrupted me at this point and said he had asked for my favourite colour not the reasons why I didn’t like different colours. I considered leaving at this idiotic comment. I was explaining all of this to help him understand my choice. I pressed on. I explained that black is acceptable since it absorbs all other colours. Blue is a colour I approve of, specifically azure as it is noble and regal. However, white is my favourite. He asked why. I said that white constitutes total reflection.