Heavy Lies the Crown

Heavy lies the crown that sits atop my head as I look out upon my kingdom. Inside my gilded tower I remain, behind those fearsome double doors that are locked four times and triple-barred. I sit on my throne which has been fashioned from the souls that I have stolen and bound to this edifice of dark steel and jagged glass. I hear the low moan of their captivity as I sit and regard my lands which stretch away north, east, south and west. From this vantage point I see all things and I am seen by all, reminding them of who I am and why I am their better. I am chosen to lead and rule and they must always exhibit suitable respect and loyalty to me or suffer the same fate of those who know provide my seat. I know there are pretenders out there who would seek, through their perfidious ways to storm my citadel and unseat me. I know their plans. I know their schemes of treason, their seditious whispers come my way, carried to me by my ever loyal crows that flit hither and thither spreading my dark message and feeding me the responses which I greedily feed on by way of much needed sustenance.

I know too well that there are those who would come like a thief in the night and seek with malicious aforethought to slit my throat and leave me bleeding to death, my life leaking from me from their numerous puncture wounds and thus I must maintain my defences and seek out these disloyal foes. I know their game and I have them in my eye. They cannot reach me here though. My dedicated Lieutenants guard the route to this citadel and they will reject all those who approach me with false intentions. I know they will not swerve from protecting their master for I fashioned them in my own image in order to enable them to fulfil their roles. Equipped with blackened weapons that slice and tear they will cut down any who dare to cause me harm. None are able to land that fatal blow against me though. I am wise to their plans of harm and assassination and I scent their scandalous treachery dripping like ichor from them as easily as I might detect the aroma of the lily or the honeysuckle.

Heavy lies the crown that rests upon my head for I bear the burden of many about me. It is not easy guiding and corralling those souls that look to me for protection and enlightenment. How they flock to my citadel when I stand at my balcony and allow them the grace of my golden rule. They bow down before me by their thousands their admiration and gratitude palpable and allowing me to drink deep of their worship. In return I ensure that these dedicated subjects experience a golden era, an epoch of bounty and elation and so they continue to gather beneath me on bended knee hoping for a glance of their most excellent ruler. It is no role for those of a faint heart. Those who lack fortitude cannot sit on this throne for only the mighty and the blessed are capable of seizing the hopes of a thousand thousand followers and allowing them their time in the sun. Only he who is venerated and of such elevation can provide such succour to the many who clamour for that guidance in such dark times. My bounty allows them to flourish as they tend to these fertile lands. My leadership provides them with the reason to till the land, sow their seeds and gather the fruits of the kingdom in my name. It is only through my benevolence that such a period of plenty can flourish.

Often I must consign some of them to shadow, snuffing out the golden shaft of light which illuminated their world. I do so with a heavy heart for they showed me some service but now they offer me little and as such they must understand that such grace and beauty is within my gift and as I grant it, I can deny it. Their wails and howls of pain and protest always confirm my decision was the right one and I take great sustenance from their misery. Still, such is the mighty attraction of one like me that they do not depart or slink away to far flung lands but instead they remain, bearing the torture and calling out to me, begging for my forgiveness and pleading for the restitution of my golden reign. I am not an evil man, though many spread such lies that I am and as such I will, from time to time, allow that life-giving and benevolent golden light to grace their lives once again and their relief and gratitude is most edifying.

Each and every day I must sit on this throne atop my mountain-dwelling citadel and ensure the welfare and good order of my subjects to ensure that the daily harvest is strong, plentiful and potent. Few can do this with the effectiveness that I can. I have yet to meet them but I know they exist, governing lands far from my own in a manner that is so similar to my own. Each and every day I must consign some subjects to shadow and shame, each and every day I must return others to the fold. They cannot exist without me and I cannot exist without them. I am their king, I and the land are one.

Today heavy lies the crown atop my head but I know that come tomorrow the harvest will be even greater and thus recharged I will alleviate the weight and lift my head to allow my eyes both golden and black to look each and every one of my subjects in the eye as if to ask them what will they do for me today. Heavy lies the burden that they will carry for their king. Heavy lies their obligation to their monarch. Heavy lies the invisible yoke about their necks and the chains which I shall yank in order to ensure that tomorrow this heavy weight will be heavy no more.

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41 thoughts on “Heavy Lies the Crown”

  1. I have to say HG, you are highly intelligent and incredibly knowledgable. But many of the Ns I’ve met are not, yet they still have this same beleif and I find it highly comical and enjoy patronising them hugely ! So much so I could take that up as a sport.

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  2. “He who is a good ruler, must have first been ruled.”…Aristotle
    ———————————————–

    “O, while I live, to be the ruler of life—not a slave,
    To meet life as a powerful conqueror,
    No fumes—no ennui—no more complaints, or scornful criticisms.

    O me repellent and ugly!
    To these proud laws of the air, the water, and the ground, proving my interior Soul impregnable,
    And nothing exterior shall ever take command of me.

    O to attract by more than attraction!
    How it is I know not—yet behold! the something which obeys none of the rest,
    It is offensive, never defensive—yet how magnetic it draws.

    O joy of suffering!
    To struggle against great odds! to meet enemies undaunted!
    To be entirely alone with them! to find how much one can stand!
    To look strife, torture, prison, popular odium, death, face to face!
    To mount the scaffold! to advance to the muzzles of guns with perfect nonchalance!
    To be indeed a God! ”

    …Walt Whitman ( poems of Joy )

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  3. how long before your fury start rising up that you turn on you followers like the lady’s you had in your life. bonders as all can not and won’t be in ur control……

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    1. Admittedly I may turn on some followers but they do not tend to be a primary source. It is the primary source that suffers the devaluation. The followers are part of maintaining the façade and therefore are less likely to be devalued.

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      1. In disguise though. I won’t feed the crocodile, maybe the beast, just enough so they don’t suspect I know.

        Hmmm HG do you ever see people and think they know what you are, even if they have never done or said anything to let on ?

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      2. I have yet to meet anybody who knew what I was when we first interacted. Remember,I target them so if I thought that they might have some awareness about what I am then I would not make them a target. Of course there are a number who have been spat out at the other end who recognise what I am. Now.

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      3. Thanks HG, I understand. I think you may have answered my question. So not a target but more of an outer circle friend, who recognises what you are but does not let on or act on it. I wonder if you would ‘know’ that they know. I hope that makes sense

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      4. No they would not be a target for me at all either as a primary source or as one of the many supplementary sources. If I suspect they know what I am then they are unlikely to yield fuel in any form so they are of no use to me. I would not target them. All targets are either primary source (almost exclusively intimate partners) or supplementary sources (all other categories of proximity of supply). I address this in Sitting Target which rather neatly is out tomorrow, so thank you for the opportunity to give it a mention !

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  4. N’s rarely turn on their followers….I have only seen this when they had to make a choice between their primary fuel and a follower. They will throw the follower under the bus if they feel they have no other choice.
    The follower is usually as betrayed and shocked as a primary in this situation…this happened w N2. He lost control of everybody in our group…he was playing too many people at one time and it blew up in his face. He never regained anybody’s trust after that. We all felt so duped….the betrayal was soul crushing for all of us….
    He just moved on….

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  5. HG how many of us ( now that we have an idea as to what to look for if someone is a N)do you think you can wrap your tentacles around and suck back in?

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      1. Ha,ha,ha!! One time was enough for this lady!! But I knew that’s how you would answer!! Think maybe your just a little to sure of yourself there kiddo!! But your sweet, from a distance!!( like as a whole ocean distance!) xo love you HG.😘

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      2. Ha ha I am sure it was Fool Me. I am pleased you anticipated my answer as you have clearly learned. Let’s hope it is enough eh and that I am not purchasing a plane ticket!

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  6. Actually it is I who will be purchasing the plane ticket! Visiting family in Doncaster. But never the two shall meet. Xo

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    1. Dodgy Donny eh? The distribution point for much of the cocaine dealt in northern England. There’s a fact you can drop into conversation over the first family dinner.

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      1. We’ve actually had that conversation. Lol. Haven’t heard it called that in awhile. Putting you in your early to mid 40s there lover boy! Xx

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      2. Oh really!! But wait that’s right you would never lie would you HG??? Your Funny!

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      3. Poor sweet HG, no one ever listens to you ! They take everything you say and get it all twisted around. Know one ever understands the real you!! You just want to be loved and cared for you just want to be happy ! You deserve to be happy after all you have been through! We understand we really do!! MLA-Clarece think your right! ( subtracting )lol

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      4. I know sweet man! I’ll always understand you when no one else does! I’ll always be right here for you and I’ll never ever leave you!! Now get some rest you must be exhausted after the long day you have had! Good night sweet handsome man!! ( yuk)

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      5. Oh my baby, so sorry that was a typo and then I hit the send button before I could correct it. ( yass) you are so special! Wish I were there to TUCK you in for the night. My mind was working faster then my fingers. Xo

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