Golden Opportunity


Failure creates opportunity. It creates the opportunity for you to learn. We know however that sitting you down and explaining your failure to you is far too easy. That will not lead to a correction in your behaviour and neither will it provide us with what we need. A quiet word in your ear, a gentle touch, the whisper of blame and the suggestion of reparation will not serve either of us. You must be punished for your failure and in doing so I create an opportunity for you to learn from that failure and in turn I grant you absolution. I must confess that I dole out the savage sanctions for your transgressions to serve my purposes but happily there is a benefit for you as well. The negative fuel which I extract from you as a consequence of the chastisement which I visit upon you is entirely necessary. I must have it for if I do not I run the risk of being destroyed and this world needs people like me. We are the achievers, the creators and the builders who act with clarity of purpose, absolute vision and without the blurring nature and hampering effects of the emotional baggage which hinders others. We are needed to succeed, create industries, entertain the masses, achieve sporting perfection, compose the sublime, paint the ethereal and shine. Without us the world would be a lesser place and that is why we must always exist. Your part in this does not go uncredited. If it were not for you and your kind then I would not receive the fuel, both positive and negative which is required in order for me to exist and fulfil my purpose. I need you. I may not like to admit that fact but it is a recognised one. I need your fuel and in return I provide you with a period of brilliance and then a period of correction to allow you to recognise the error of your ways. I cannot just tell you what you have done wrong, that would be too easy and you would not become a better person if the way forward was made too easy for you. The harshness of my teaching, the horror of my manipulations and the savage lectures are all for your own good. It is only through such stern and disciplined admonishments that you will begin to understand and then you will find absolution. You will eventually, although the lessons may take some considerable time, years in numerous instances, come to understand what your role is. Not only will you understand your role but you will willingly accept that position as a sacrifice which you much make for the greater good. By acknowledging your role in submitting to us you will find absolution. You will begin to realise that the sacrifices you have made, of your self-worth, your confidence and your self-esteem have been worthwhile because they have helped fuel me and thus you have allowed me to exist. Consider that, you are central to the existence of one such as I. You prove to be an integral part in enabling me to exist and function and in turn it is through your involvement that I am able to bring my brilliance to bear on the world. Such an involvement should be welcome by you and you ought to give thanks for being allowed to contribute, to participate and to be involved in this manner. You, through me, are able to create a lasting legacy. True, you must ensure considerable hardship in fulfilling this role but in doing so you become a better person, a worthwhile person and a useful person. Through the correction that I shall administer to you, you will suffer but then when has anything that has been worth doing been easy and pain-free? Never. I share that pain. Do you think it is easy having to garner fuel each and every day? Do you think it is easy leading, guiding and forging a new path, always moving forward? No, we all have our crosses to bear and mine is heavier than most, but I exhibit the fortitude and determination that I know you possess in order to ensure that you realise your true potential.

I chose you because I knew that you would ultimately do the right thing. I knew you would provide me with what I needed. I hoped that it would always be good but I also recognised that even if you failed me in that aspect of your role I could count on you to endure the hardship and the denigration because you wanted to help me, you wanted to realise the role which I secured for you. You wanted to succeed just as I have wanted you to succeed. I am a harsh taskmaster but you brought it on yourself. You failed and therefore you must be punished for this aberration, yet through this failure you can redeem yourself. You can exhibit your true worth and make amends for your failings, your shortcomings and your betrayal. I know you can do this because that is why I chose you. I know you can do this because I can see it in you. I know you can do this because I will make you, no matter what and against whatever odd, achieve this. I only have your best interests at heart, even if my tongue and fists may seem to tell you to the contrary.

You will not like me because I am hard but it is this hardness which means that you will learn much from me. You will realise your potential and you will always strive, driven on by me, with my encouragement, harsh as it may seem, to achieve that is right for me, for the world and ultimately through that you will achieve your absolution.


10 thoughts on “Golden Opportunity

  1. Alissa says:

    Wow, this is so powerful to me, I could have written this myself haha, this is exactly what goes through my mind on the connection between narc and I .

  2. Maddie says:

    trust me lil whisper of Your suggestion and will make me think for ages and at the same time You still have the positive brilliant fuel coming from me ♥

  3. Nikitalondon says:

    Yes HG I believe you. May dad was very offended because he had taken the time to make that call to his friend, to receive my mother, or even open up the FTE etc. He was really offended.
    I told him that its horrible to work on something you dont like but he did not listen to me 🙁

  4. Nikitalondon says:

    Wow HG this really sounds like a bible excerpt !! The Narcissist as God. I got familiar with this with N3 as he spoke a lot about how divine he was, once or twice he also told me that I would have to be punished, thanks God he never did. And I thought he was joking, because we joked all the time. Very good piece of work. The theory of Sam V made reality.
    It is true what you say about all the achievements and positions. I think 90% of the CE’s are N’s. And its not only the hindering emotions that you don’t have, but the drive, and the ambition that the N brain contains. It still has me in awe, the persistence, the need to achieve as the best and not settle down for just achieve. What I have also noticed is that many somewhen after 50 or sort of a career constraint realize this is not life and somehow settle down for a life without all that ambition drive.
    I have seen it here in my office at least a dozen times and with the my exes and with my dad. My dad could finish his career in the glory but just some two months before he passed away we had a deep conversation on his life, he told me that he should have not been so ambitious, that maybe he would have been happier… I know maybe what he meant because stress did really play a part in our lives and besides he was all the time away…..
    But now after reading you HG and all what I have learned from you, the fact that my dad finished his career in glory and somewhen due to his age had to retire and had no other chance than to retire ( at 68, which is 8 later than standard), he did not know this but this was a major injury to his construct…  . Maybe if he would have had a constraint and he could have stepped down somewhen before maybe it would have not been so serious injury….. I think…… anyway …

    What you say on learning and becoming better it its true, it is a very hard way but I have learned from my 3 exes a lot. Specially from N3 I learned a lot and I did change a lot in my life of what I learned from him. N3 had more constructive ways of “ punishment” than N1 and N2 who really went down to the critics. N1 even to namecalling….
    Maybe this is why only N3 really achieved that I think about the learning and really implement the change. What he did lack was the patience and the comprehension that it takes time to implement things !!!!! But anyway.
    My mom also told me a year after my dad died, that she had to be at the end thankful to all what she learned from him. .. so your text sounds scary but very much into reality.
    The only part that is not real is about the fists. I have never in my life received not seen anybody’s fists, I would die that day somebody would hit me. My mom did neither.
    And HG about absolution…. There is not absolution !!!! HAHAHAHAHA this last part made me laugh.

  5. mkskyblog says:

    Thank you HG.
    Really enjoyed reading that.
    I actually identified with your part in it as my own in my past relationship with her
    I encouraged her to “better” herself by taking up a management position. She lasted a week.
    I was always in management myself-no more.
    Gave up the pursuit of money and glory and false acclaim.
    Thought she could maybe continue where I left off….

    1. malignnarc says:

      Thanks Mike.

    2. Nikitalondon says:

      My dad too. As CEO of a corporation got my mom many nice jobs and she did not even go to the inteviews…….. he got furious and then finally he stopped insisting but never forgot this.
      But there are always two sides. my mom wanted to be a decorator and he wanted my mom to be customer services in a financial institution…. Pretty opposite poles.

      1. malignnarc says:

        We like people to do what we choose for them and regard it as an example of our largesse and generosity. We are mightily offended if someone chooses a different route.

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