Angel of the Street, Devil of the House

I have been called these names more than a few times and I won’t shirk from the label with you good readers. Naturally, when the appliance I am draining levels such an accusation at me then I deflect, reflect and deny – how dare they challenge me and seek to label me to make up for their own shortcomings. Once I cross that threshold and face the world then those white, feathered wings sprout from my back, the halo shines and I move with grace and great intentions. To my neighbours I provide a cheery hello and enquire as to their health. I comment how the male neighbour is welcome to borrow a few of my Blu-ray boxsets as I espouse the excellence of a particular series. He nods his thanks and explains how he will call around that evening to borrow a set. I tell him we will have a drink too. He smiles and I can see how pleased he is to have such a pleasant and accommodating neighbour. Of course this is all designed to get him onside and a firm believer in what a good chap I am. I have been working carefully on his wife, Fiona and will update you on that in due course. When I seduce her, her eventual protestations to her husband will fall on deaf ears as he will be unable to accept that his neighbour would do such a thing as pursue and seduce his wife. He will recall all the good things that I have said and done and it will be her who will be cast as the unfaithful harpy. I am always planning ahead.

I greet the passing postman warmly and then call Kim’s brother to exchange idle banter and invite him to play golf at the weekend. He has been angling to do this for some time now and he will regard this as admission to my inner circle. Let him think that as it is what I want. I know he regards me as a good egg and thus when the inevitable chaos and spite is unleashed on dear Kim he will at worst struggle to accept that I could treat her in this fashion. At best he will take my side and cut her adrift, tired of her slanderous accusations about someone he regards as a decent fellow and a good friend. All through my day I will portray the carefully honed image to colleagues (although not all – there are a couple who are currently viewing the devil as a consequence of their lack of loyalty to me), to service providers (the lady who serves in the coffee shop near work has told me how much she looks forward to our conversations). I walk amidst the horde, hurling my sparkling dust over them, causing them to smile and admire like children following a generous candyman.

I have walked this path on many occasions. Friend to many, benefactor to several and champion to others. A solid, dependable and brilliant man who takes an interest in everyone he speaks to. So many pedestals have been constructed as I go about my day.  That friend is elevated to stand amidst all those in a similar position in my coterie as I smash down the pedestal of one particular so-called friend who has displeased me. They fall and as they do they reach out trying to grasp the hands of those in that coterie but they are all snatched away. Nobody is listening as you cast your stones at the devil that has flung you from your lofty position. All they see is the angelic smile and blazing eyes that make them feel good. I work my magic, bringing friend, neighbour, family member, stranger and acquaintance under my spell. Each of them bolsters my angelic appearance so that will be all that they see. The exiled individual will try to persuade them of the devil that has brought them low, but nobody is listening. Behind that closed door the real reign of the devil appears. It is there that I no longer need maintain the pretence and allow full vent to the venom that flows through me. You let me down and you must be punished. That is when you are trapped inside the house of satan with all the pain and misery that encompasses. I know you will try to escape and tell them all of the torment you are subjected to in these four walls but nobody will accept your warped and malicious slanders. You speak of my barbed tongue, forked tail and sharp horns but as soon as I step outside they all melt away to be replaced by the sweetest perfection as my charmed pretence masks the devil inside. I walk the path of the angel on the street beyond my door. It is inside that I trap the real angels and feed on them.

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10 thoughts on “Angel of the Street, Devil of the House”

  1. HG I’ve read this post before I think in December? I could read your posts a million times and each time learn something new! Perhaps it is because I am at a different level of healing and understand more then I did before. There is still so much that I just don’t understand but I hope eventually I will. Why would my ex keep everything on his face book page marked only for friends to see accept posts that other people send him they are marked friends and friends of friends. Since he never would FRIEND me on face book and he knows that him and I share a few of the same friends I can’t help but feeling he does this to upset or still hurt me, especially since most of them are from his new love and him gushing all there love for each other!! I almost feel bad for her because I know what her future will be like after this golden period is over! Fuel I know HG but it still hurts!! Guess I just needed some confirmation from the only man I trust ( that would be you HG) in my life at this time! Kind of ironic isn’t it? Having one of those emotional days today. Thank you HG the Great for all you do. Xo

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    1. Indeed you have Fool Me, I am re-posting some of the older articles for new readers and especially on the FB page where followers tend to read what is served up on the day, if you will, rather than delve into the archives. You make a valid point that re-visiting these articles at a different stage in your progress will allow you to find something new.
      With regard to his FB behaviour, it is done, as you identify, to upset you. He is triangulating you with her. He is also pulling the Relationship Bulletin routine (see an earlier blog post) by heralding his new love knowing you will know about it and again to hurt you. As for her future, yes of course you know what is in store but she is not your problem. You have to look to your own defences and not be concerned about someone else. I understand it is hard because as an empathic individual you want to protect other people (and also score some points against him by pointing out what he is to her) but this is a battle rarely won and therefore best avoided.

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      1. Thank you for your response HG, I know for you this is all about fuel. For me you responding is a life line keeping me on the right path! It is so easy to slide backwards and thinking maybe this was all my fault and I just didn’t love him enough. Although in my heart I know I loved him more then life its self! I have no one else to talk to about this, only you.If you gain fuel from this then so be it, I receive so much more. I truly respect you for stepping up to the plate and helping so many people whether it is for fuel, ego, or maybe you have finally found a place where you can be yourself and be accepted. Perhaps you are finally realizing that there are feelings there after all and it’s ok to have them! Not everyone is going to hurt you. Have a wonderful weekend oh Great one. Xoxoxo

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  2. Ohhh my I wonder the extent of the punishments… Can it be that it stays just on ST? A real 100% NC? When a slander campaign is not possible?
    So ascertive this posting. The angel reference is very true. Not always but im the vast majority, male and female N’s appear like angels and portray themselves like angels all along And then suddenly they will be very mean and revengeful ( due to critics) to someone… Without a very evidemt reason. At work for example the punishment does not stay indoors, this is why I mention. I saw what a very angel like colleague of mine did to an IT guy who criticized her knowledge….
    Have a nice day HG ☀️, it is such a pleasure to learn about NPD with your writings. 💋

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  3. This picture you have on this blog….

    I found this picture last year and posted it to my FB page but also wanted it as a tattoo as a reminder of what I’d endured…..Maybe its s sign…

    Love you HG U are my Godsent…..I believe in Divine Intervention…You have been mine more than any comment I will ever express…

    Crazy isnt it…someone I loved, just like you – has been the only person to bring an uneasy and painful chapter to a slow rest

    Im grateful for whatever brought me here….but something brought me here. Cheers and happy weekend.

    Susan

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