It is common for those of you who have done the dance with us to remark once enlightenment has cast its illumination into your mind that,

“It seemed so real, it seemed genuine, in the beginning before it all changed.”

Ah yes, the seduction, the love-bombing, the honeymoon or the golden period. Call it what you might, that period of time when everything was wonderful and rosy in the garden certainly seemed to be real enough didn’t it? The whispered words of love and affection certainly sounded genuine. The long hugs and hours enveloped in our arms appeared to be real. The ecstatic love-making felt wonderfully intense. Even now as you sit in a state of bewilderment and confusion, your fingers run over the gifts that we bought for you and you can still feel them. Surely they must be real too.

Yet for all the magnificent recall you can apply to the sounds and sensations of that initial period you now know that it was all an illusion. You may not have processed us from your system on an emotional level. Indeed, it is doubtful that you ever will, since that it is the way we are designed so that the Hoover will always remain in play. You have gained understanding though and your mind repeatedly tells you that it was not real, it was not genuine and it was an illusion. You are caught between the two states of knowing it was not real but then knowing what you felt, what you experienced and how your emotions were heightened. Therein lies the answer. It was how you felt. It was your perception that generated such wonderful sensations. You perceived that this acquaintance that you half-knew became the bearer of a perfect of love. You perceived that every text message that was received contained affection and longing. You perceived the burning glances of desire. You saw,heard and felt all of this because you wanted to.

In reality you were fed something that lacked substance and was not genuine. You were told that we would make you feel loved and adored and you therefore felt that you were loved and adored. You were told that we would make you feel special and wanted. You felt special and wanted. The pill that was us contained no potency, no medicine and no effects. It was your perception that created the golden sensations you experienced. Yet again you are no doubt saying to yourself as you read this that it felt so real. Of course it did, because you let it feel so real. You believed in its power so much that you created the feelings that you desperately wanted to experience. You were subjected to the placebo effect. We were no better at tackling depression, high blood pressure or anxiety than a pill made of sugar. Yet, as astounded medical experts have seen time and time again that supplying a patient with what they think is a treatment for pain but is in reality is just a sugar placebo pill produces an improvement in the patient’s level of pain. We do the same to you. We make you feel loved, wanted and adored. You are given a placebo however and your desire to experience those wonderful feelings drives you to experience them.

This may sound like it is your fault. In a way you have some culpability for engaging in the thinking that you did which produced such marvellous results. It perhaps now makes more sense as to why this period of wonderful feelings did not last because you were just fed the placebo. However, in the same way that a medical placebo effect takes place, because the good doctor tells you that this pill will lessen your depression so it does, you have been subjected to a similar fraud. We told you how marvellous you would feel and you did. We perpetrated the fraud against you and fed you placebo after placebo with the inevitable effect. The tragedy is that there is not a nocebo effect with us. The downside really was real. Just in case you wondered about that too.

23 thoughts on “Placebo

  1. T says:

    I always enjoy your post, Niki! Prayer chain is the correct term in American English, by the way…
    There are many denominations here that only rely on prayer to heal….to the point they won’t take donated blood, vaccines, surgeries…and I respect their beliefs…but I feel God does work through man. It’s ok to have faith in medicine, too.

    I understand your frustration with the church. I attend a non denominational protestant Christian church….that leans evangelical/charismatic. My fellow protestants often stood on the wrong side of American history. Slavery, Civil Rights, and these days Gay Rights….just the thought of fellow Christians owning slaves and letting Martin Luther King, Jr. sit in jail for leading peaceful marches for civil rights makes me cringe….*smh*. Lately the hate speech and anti gay laws in some states breaks my heart….but I don’t let that shake my faith.

    I know it’s hard, but I look at all the good my fellow Christians do…and I focus on that. The Devil has been busy with The Catholic Church….because it’s the largest Christian organization in the world..if he can take the Catholics down…he can win. I have had 2 Catholic bf’s (non N’s) and I loved attending church there….especially at Easter and Christmas….so beautiful…

    Niki, keep your eyes on Jesus…we are His hands and feet on earth. Focus on the good people and acts by the church that show love to everybody and you will build your faith back up in no time!

    1. nikitalondon says:

      Thanks T

      I do keep my eyes on Jesus but for Christian religions is too late….😒 But important is to believe. Hugs to you too.

  2. T says:

    Being a medical professional….I have witness the role of the power of the mind on many life or death occasions. I’ve seen the perfectly healthy patient conjure up illnesses with just the power of thought….I’ve seen those with 6 months to live….live another 20 years.

    As a Christian, I have seen 4 terminally ill cancer patients at my church in the last 5 years…all of them with the faith of Job; get completely healed of cancer!! One child, one 40ish woman, and two older men–cancer free after prayer! Tumors gone!!! They all completely believed in the power of prayer—and they were all healed!

    I watched my stepmom die of a heart attack 5 weeks after my father….because…”she couldn’t live without him”. She had no prior heart issues and was 7 years younger than him….but in her mind…she couldn’t live without him…so she didn’t….

    The human mind can talk itself into anything…..once we cement a belief in our minds….it’s there–and usually never reverses…perhaps that is why it’s so hard to accept betrayal by an N….because we put our faith into it…..?

    1. malignnarc says:

      Interesting observations T. I agree, you are the type of people who are strong on belief. It may not be in a higher power but you believe in good, in honesty, in decency and in love,to name a few. The belief you have in the relationship you thought you had it very difficult to accept the reality.

      1. T says:

        Yes…HG, You are exactly right!

      2. nikitalondon says:

        I also work on the healthcare are and I find it really interesting also so many patients becoming tumor free just with prayers. For some time ago I worked in the area of oncology and never saw that. I guess science is doing something wrong.

    2. T says:

      Niki….I think it’s the faith behind the prayer. I’ve never been seriously ill…but my mother had cancer when I was young. It was terminal, and with the surgery was just a 10% chance of survival. My Aunt L., was a strong Christian and prayed over my mom before surgery. The operation was a success…and that was over 30 years ago..she was cured and has been healthy ever since then!. In our family…prayer was used with or without medicine as a cure for everything….so I have seen many miracles….but it was ALWAYS the faith behind the prayer that made it work.

      1. nikitalondon says:

        Hi T
        Yes of course to what you say above I totally agree. When an operation goes right or all the post operatory complications that are avoided, are due to the power of the prayer. I agree with you there and I have been part myself of ” prayer chains”, I dont know if this is the correct name in english. I belive the prayers saved your mom.
        Why I commented it was interesting is becauase as I come from a catholic country many people died because the their families thought that only prayers would blast a very malignant and agressive tumor. I read it several times in the news.
        At work I saw it also but less times , blasting medicines having to be expedited because prayer alone did not work and you know with tumors every day counts.
        I pray every day and visit church very often and God is the center of my life and I am baptised Catholic and I still pay 1% of my yearly income to the church but in my heart I have lost credibiliy on the Catholic church as institution for 3 reasons. ( My personal opinion)
        Condemning birth control has caused more harm then good, the pedophilia stories of the priests and the fact that the upper members of the church have hidden it, denied it or even justify it makes me feel like throwing up and the fact that I find the church has responsability for the homophobia that we have today in this word, because although we are all sons and daughters of God, the bible and the church condemn homosexuality and this apart of not making sense, is for me unacceptable.
        So I do strongly believe in God as the center of my life but not anymore in church. I do visit them and talk with God and pray for me and for other people, but I do not go to listen to priest anymore except for a ceremony I have to assist.
        Sorry for the misunderstanding T. I enjoy alot reading your comments and the energy you give to them. You seem to have a full strong character πŸ™‚ … I imagine.
        Have a nice day.

  3. nikitalondon says:

    Ooops its too earl and I almost forgot, 😱against nocebo effect, buy and read HG Tudors books. These will bring the understanding necessary to lear and move on and in fact they are so good you can even build up preventive measures against nocebo effect, and evem again placebo effect!!!
    Its really a wonder medicine by wonder boy !!! Highly recommended πŸ˜‹πŸ˜ƒ.

  4. nikitalondon says:

    Slowly slowly after so long reading your theory, the concept of faking, mimic, fuel and appliance does take a form, makes logic and becomes real. The placebo effect is a perfect way to further describe it. No real active substance in the pill but just an effect created in the mind of the patient. The patient believes a story manufactured by the clinical studies team, like this the victim believes the story manufactured by the narcissist.
    And yes in our mind it does become very real, I would say as real and beautiful as it can get…. Of course something like this cant be real!!!!! Real love builds up slowly and does not sweep you off your feet.
    The sad part is the nocebo effect HG. -which placebo doesnt have by the way 😨😦😯😣-
    Because I understand that Ns dont engage with the intent of harming, but yes at the end the only thing that is real are the tears and the sleepless nights. The medicine towards nocebo effect… Self love and forgiveness.
    SL Its not so easy to source but it does work πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ
    Again excellent writing, excellent way yo explain it as the placebo effect. In fact I cant think of something better to make it similar to. Genius N β˜€οΈβ˜€οΈ. Have a nice day.

  5. Nocebo…*sigh*
    I have a million thoughts that I would be able to string together to verbalize, if only I wasn’t drunk with fatigue…even in solitude, this is my lifelong constant.
    Thanks for continuing to share the secrets from the all seeing/all knowing mother ship, that only those that have been abducted for a time, without seemingly having any real idea of any dimensions or time constraints in this reality, have experienced. We then have willed the connections whether knowingly or otherwise, as much as we have been “taken” into this alternate universe. Variances apply, naturally, throughout our journey of actual earthly existence. For some of us it started as we were brought into this world…and is all that we know. For others…the seemingly experimental journeys did not extend throughout their lives. I guess, in order to dominate an entire race, all types of test subjects must be interacted with, tested and observed accordingly; not unlike experimental psychological/social warfare tactics…
    Or perhaps, all I really do need, is some peace and quality rest…
    Thanks HG for helping me to keep it real, I guess…

    1. malignnarc says:

      You are welcome CE.

  6. mlaclarece says:

    It is our inner, subconscious wounds or insecurities that makes our perception a sponge soaking up every drop of your illusion.
    This would actually make a great, bullet point presentation for a therapy session. If my therapist could have read this to me spelling out how the feelings shaped the perception that propelled this to last well past continual discards, I may not have had to go for a year.
    Change the perception, change the life. That’s the tricky part being in such denial over something that felt so real is fake. The sooner that breakthrough is made, the sooner you pull away.
    Nice job on this blog by far!

    1. malignnarc says:

      Good points MLA and thank you.

  7. Me says:

    Hello You, it’s Me again, well yes you’re right it did seem real and genuine but to be frank I found much of it, and him, tiresome and suffocating. I was more than happy at times to cancel dates, postpone trips, have my own space, he didn’t like that, never mind eh? Yes, I was love-bombed and adored to death, non stop texts and calls, (ignored many) expensive holidays and gifts (so so many, you name it, I got it and heard it) the only person that ever ‘got him, understood him, cared for him, loved him, told innermost secrets to’, wanted to spend the rest of his life with etc etc yawn, and it was all so lovely, thank you very much all appreciated and enjoyed. (Keep the gifts coming, I like them but I have to cancel our plans this weekend, what a shame) Yes, all that changed, yes it was questioned, yes it was frustrating, but I saw that as a weakness and failing in him not me, so I lost any respect I had, and when that goes? It was all too predictable, and it bored me. I don’t miss any of it, I don’t miss him, I miss the Rolex he promised, the swine didn’t deliver on that one, bloody cheek. πŸ™‚

    Right you are again, all of it one big fat dollop of fakeness (describes him perfectly too) yes lots of arguing, put downs, subtle sarcastic comments, all jokes of course, bullish babyish behaviour, intermingled with the ‘undying love, you’re the only one’ routine. He was oh so annoying and embarrassing at times, and badly dressed, he went along with the style and grooming tips I suggested to please me, kept it up too, which is good as he now has a better chance with future victims. He should be thanking me for improving him and sending him on his way!

    So why am I not feeling this total devastation you speak of? The way I see it he’s the one missing out as he no longer has the pleasure of being with wonderful moi – the new victims are welcome to him and have my pity (see how caring I am?) they will have the most wonderful holidays and gifts along the way, you just wait till payback day ladies! Was it a placebo? Was it real? I really don’t care!

    So many questions for you but don’t want to go off topic, another time perhaps.

    1. malignnarc says:

      Where do I send the Rolex to?

      1. Me says:

        Keep it, I have my eye on a beautiful Cartier now.

        1. malignnarc says:

          Ha ha.

    2. T says:

      You got off cheap, Me! That Rolex would have become a handcuff….

      1. malignnarc says:

        Good point T.

      2. Me says:

        The Rolex was a lie T, he thought it would keep me dangling but he knew I can buy anything I want for myself, so it didn’t work. I’ll be paying Cartier a visit someday soon.

      3. T says:

        You go girl! Welcome to the blog!

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