All In the Eyes
The eyes are one of our powerful weapons. I hear so many comments made about my eyes.
“I saw the world in your eyes.”
“Everything I ever wished for, I could see in your eyes.”
“I’ve never known anyone give much such a malevolent stare.”
“You are dead behind the eyes.”
“That hollow look you give me, chills me inside.”
“Your reptilian, empty stare always unnerved me.”
When we first engage with you, we are able to reflect back at you want you desperately want. Hope, optimism, desire and trust are all mirrored in our eyes. Do not be mistaken and think that we generate those looks. We do not. All we are doing is ensuring that you see what you want to see in order to ensnare you. This mirroring serves two purposes. Firstly, it shows you what you crave for and makes us all the more attractive to you. Secondly, it masks the empty void that truly exists. Whilst my kind and me learn how to behave and act, we mimic the way in which we are expected to respond in the most favourable manner, we do not truly feel any of those things and we cannot generate it in our eyes. Everything else we are able to simulate – the laugh, the smile, the look of surprise, the intonation of elation in our voices. We have carefully crafted these facsimiles of your emotions but managing to do so in our eyes has always eluded us. We cannot fall at the first hurdle however and have you see through our charade. Accordingly, we have managed to master the mirroring technique. You want that love and hope so badly you will see it in us when you are really just seeing yourself. We hold your gaze for longer than anyone else. You are conned into thinking this just demonstrating the intensity of our desire for you. It is not. We must look directly into your eyes to shine back at you that which you send towards us. Should we look way, the reflection may fail and we must always have you in our eye.
As with all of our pretence we are unable to maintain this deceit for long. The mirror breaks and the shards of reflection fall away leaving the chasm of emotionlessness behind. The barren hinterland beyond our eyes is all that is left, bereft of anything at all. That is why in the later stages you will see nothing when you look at us. We cannot generate those real emotions and our mirror has now failed. Our real gaze is all that is left, cold, empty and lifeless. People often remark about how the eyes are the window to the soul. Our soul left long ago and that is why you look into dead, uncaring eyes. Even though our mouth is upturned in a smile, the crows feet at the sides crease and the brow rises, our eyes betray us. Glacial and sterile they show the reality of what we are; devoid of positive emotion and spiritually bankrupt.
All that we are able to muster is hatred. Our loathing of this unjust world is so intense that it will break through when we wish to direct that hatred against you. That is when the emptiness vanishes and instead you are subjected to our laser-like, pinpoint accurate malevolent stare. I mentioned in the recollection about the cookie jar, how I had practised my withering stare one summer. This is the precursor to our malice, our antipathy and our scorn. With consummate ease we will call on it to intimidate you and signal our contempt for you. It is powerful, unwavering and unsettling. To be on the receiving end of our hateful stare is not a pleasant experience. We muster such power with our eyes, to seduce you and then to break you, but the reality is that we only have three settings. The mirror, the void and the hatred. There is nothing else. That is all that our eyes have.
15 thoughts on “All In the Eyes”
only saw the stare, always…remember after the first kiss in the car I looked at him, it was the stare, dead
This is very true. When you see nothing behind a person’s eyes…believe it.
No malignarc can hold my gaze for any meaningful length of time – that’s part of the dead giveaway, for me.
What a perfect description of the eyes of a narcissist. All what you say above is what it is. I have never experienced the true reptilian stare from one of my expartners but I saw it in a colleague, fortunately not directed at me but at the person sitting besides me. It was so strong if filled up the space and gave me a very unconfortable feeling. I know due to the conversariot this person was under alot of stress and pressure and anger because things were not done like he wanted or just not done, I dont remember. Itr true that its an unforgettable look. I could easily count 7% of my floor being on the spectrum. This is like 10 people out of 150.
Else yes I have been comfronted to sparkling angry eyes when not staying at the standards and being late or takikg too long or just not following “procedures” of ABC and doing instead BCA without realizing that this would be a big issue.
The void of the mornings… I can always see and feel that void and allow part of my energy to go into it.
I imagine your blue eyes as beautiful as blue can get. At the void I imagine they reflect your silence and your past.
A past that is soultouching and therefor like that I imagine the void of your eyes.
I imagine the void of your eyes reflect what your writings pass on to us readers.
An inviting blue void to be felt with you or to be filled up when it is to be filled up by the mirror.
Like a blue mountain lake, seems void when you stare at it and your firsr see it and its so beautiful to do so. And after a long time of staring into it, it will reflect the energy of the mountains and the sun if there is.
And both are the beauty of the lake. The void and the sorroundings. One is not without the other. This is how I imagine your beautiful blue eyes 😘😘💓.
Have a nice day HG and thanks for this perfect description of the the eyes of the narcissist. What you said above and I doubt there is more to it. Like all your books it seems to contain it all.
Thank you Nikita.
I know that stare. The awful truth in my story and something that caused great confusion is that I caught him giving me that malevolent gaze during sex when just moments before he had been loving and sweet. It would happen so quickly I woukd swear I was dreaming it. It was a look of contempt. Like I was disgusting to him, he would flip me over like one flips over a pancake. But that happened only in the very beginning of our affair, I don’t recall it in the middle or end phase. It happened early, during the most intense phase of seduction.
I don’t know what to make of it.
Our ability to switch is well known and hence how we can shift between loving and hateful in the blink of the eye. It is most unusual to see such a malevolent moment, even if just for an instant, during seduction. I think he was thinking of someone else whilst having sex with you and that is why the malevolence showed because that person, probably a predecessor, was hated by him and they flashed into his mind and this was the outcome, albeit briefly, before he switched back to seductive mode.
Yes, the eyes.
They are all I can think about as I still miss N2 over the last few weeks. The relationship lasted not even four months because I think I taught him what he is, and he realized what I didn’t mean to him.
The eyes that would stare lovingly into mine as we were intimate were the same eyes I would see filled with hatred as he talked about something the closest person to him in life, his own twin, had done to anger him.
As I am reading No Contact I struggle with following it because the sweet memory of his eyes makes me want to give in, despite remembering that he also looked at me with that same hatred more than once.
Will I be able to spot this fakeness when I run across it again?
Armed with your newly acquired knowledge Jingercin you will be able to spot the fakery. Remember those eyes were just mirroring what you were doing. What had his twin done out of interest?
His twin is better at getting attention as “the good twin”. He said his family was always proud of his brother while they looked at him as a failure. Because he was so hard working they would help him any time he wanted.
His brother is in a better financial situation as well, but despite that would always ask him to help him out and lend him money or buy him little things. My N said he couldn’t ever say no because it was his brother so he would do it. He in summary always felt like his brother played him…kind of ironic now that I think of it.
Spot on again! I remember thinking I seen the same sparkle in his eyes that I know we’re shining in mine. It was just a reflection of my own eyes staring back. My heart got in the way again!💔
Thank you Fool Me, yes it was just a reflection.
This is all so true. His eyes were amazin an the way he looked at me at first was amazing as well. But after the first ghosting of me is when I seem the stare. It makes me cry now as well to not have known all of this before he broke me
But you know now Kim so use that knowledge.
Yes, I have seen the dead, cold, lifeless eyes during his rages. It’s chilling like there’s nobody in there.
That is exactly the case Angered.