The Twenty Admissions of Victimhood
There are many things that my kind like you to say. We want to hear your praise, your affection, your love and your adoration. We want to hear your anger, your frustration, your upset and your vitriol. You hear words. We hear emotions which fuel us and cause the powering flames to burn fiercer and higher. When you become ensnared by one of our kind, we make you a victim of our range of machinations. As part of this entrapment we aim to have you provide us with fuel and this is done by causing you to say certain things to us. We are obsessed with the concept of our status, our superiority and our power. We must always ensure that you are inferior to us, that we are in control and that you are obedient. If we ever feel that this imbalance is slipping, then we will fight to maintain it. We are the conqueror you are the conquered. In keeping with this need for control and domination, we want you to not only be the victim but ensure that you act as one and portray your status of victimhood at all times in your dealings with us, save when we decide to the contrary. The latter being usually for public appearances and the maintenance of the façade. We want and need to hear you reinstate your designated role. Of course this does not mean that you will declare that you are a victim, using those very words, because when we have you in our grasp you do not realise that you are indeed a victim. Instead we need to hear it through you stating certain phrases which amount to admissions that you are a victim. Understand that when you make these remarks you are fuelling us and also reinforcing the imbalance that exists between you and us.
- I am sorry.
- I just didn’t think.
- I don’t know what I am supposed to do.
- I can’t understand what you want.
- I can’t take this anymore.
- I will do anything for you.
- I just want this to work.
- I’m not giving up on us.
- I deserve better than this.
- Why are you doing this?
- Please stop.
- Please talk to me.
- Am I not good enough for you?
- Why is it only me that is treated like this?
- I just want to be happy.
- Tell me what you want from me.
- I didn’t realise.
- I always put you first.
- I want to make you happy.
- What’s happened to us?
17 thoughts on “The Twenty Admissions of Victimhood”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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My curiosity is awake now. HG would you be able to blog on covert and overt? What are the main differences? Im wondering..
In my last Narc relationship I said every single one of those lines.
Not anymore though.
You : ” In my last Narc relationship”
Me :. ” Good grief” ! , You’ve endured more than one ?!?
Message : You MUST BE , THE “light” Iv heard that THEY are SO drawn to…
let not diminish the virtue of the SUN which radiates though your presence. May you continue to heal, and harness the powers of your intuitive “gifts”.Shine On !!
Refreshing words to read brother!
I find it amazing just “how long” or sometimes, “how many years” we will endure these things in the name of “sacrificial love” or the jaded perception of it. When that day finally comes where the abuse finally reaches its summit; well beyond the precipice, where our eyes are finally open to the toxic issues that are within us that magnetizes us toward repeated & reoccurring toxic relationships. Where we FINALLY identify and become completely aware of both sides of that “Toxic coin.” It may be then, that we finally begin our healing and full recovery, always understanding that; like any addiction, we need to manage these impulses for the rest of our lives to remain pure to our new path of acquiring healthy relationships going forward.
With our eyes NOW truly “unveiled” we ponder in retrospect, how did we ever NOT see these evidences in our youthful adult relationships. Why did it only take a blip of 55 years; in this life eternal, to come to fruition in finally identifying, taking ownership, accepting responsibility, forgiving myself and my original childhood Toxin, fully understanding what childhood Toxin made Him Toxic, setting a new course of understanding and relating to people; being fully aware of my impulse rescue tendencies and denying them, toward total healing & recovery.
Hmmmm, so complex amidst the multi-generations, yet so simple. I wish you all the very best in your personal search, discoveries, and ultimately your absolute emotional healing!
Hi Roger
Very nice words. Sometimes when I read all of the emotions from all the readers that have beem here to comment. Some with discipline to every post some others not. I stop and think about, where will we be in 5 years from now? And I silently wish light and luck for all of us to finally find love and immer peace and happiness 🙏🏻☀️🙏🏻
And the sentiment is gratefully returned to you, Roger. Blessed be ❤
The picture is so convenient! Thaks for this list. I think every follower of this blog will be thankful for this list and posting.
Hi Nikita,
As you have read all if HG’s books to date. Can you please recommend those that you found most useful for growth as a co dependent?
Hi CE
Not all. Revenge and black hole not yet. And the last confessions (red).
From my personal experience I cam recommend Chained, Fuel, Fury.
How did this help me.
Fuel and fury helped me understand what my dad was and why he acted like he did and at the same time understood my exes… It was not my fault!!!!!!
The most important was to let go of childhood trauma. Not that I received abuse as to being screamed, insulted or what so ever no. Never!!! I grew up in a healthy environment but with emotionally abscent parents that I had to provide for them. I got love in many other forms if you can call it like this.
Chained is the codependant subject itself
Ask the narcissit, sitting target and the tool kit helped me clear out relationships, understand even more and let go and forgive.
I combined this with the human magnet and I can say I made big milestones.
I did practice self love how RR instructs.
I also followed a latin psychologist called Walter Riso.
Thank you so much Nikita 😊❤
Oh and which book (or perhaps its in the making; so to speak) best helps one to understand the various types of N’s. (Overt/covert etc)
Thanks for the response; much appreciated 😊
Ohhh sorry crystal empath. That has never been my focus so I would not know… But HG can tell you better than me.
I dont think I know myself that difference.
Sitting Target and then the four which are in progress.
Thank you HG 😊
You are welcome