A Question of Love

th (18)The eternal question. Philosophers have cogitated about it, writers have espoused long works dedicated to answering this question, poets have waxed lyrical on this notion and pop stars regularly beseech us to consider it. I like things to the point so I went straight to the dictionary and it defines love as

“A strong feeling of affection”

I am often scathingly criticised that I don’t really love people or that I have no comprehension of love. What nonsense. I feel a massive sense of affection for you when we first meet. In fact, I would wager that the intensity of my feeling for you goes above and beyond what anyone else feels. Why else would I want to spend every moment of every day with you? Why else do I take you to delightful places, furnish you with expensive gifts and shower you with my well-chosen words of affection and desire? I feel an intense connection with you, often from the beginning and that is the catalyst for me burning with passion for you. Who is to castigate me for those feelings? How can it be said that I do not feel love when the way I feel conforms, no, exceeds the definition of love? Do you know what I attribute that to? Jealousy and envy. It is always those who look upon our perfect love and declare that it is false and unreal. What do they know? Nothing. They are just caught up in their own empty and bitter shells, envious that they do not have what we have. I know what I feel for you. I am in touch with myself to such a degree that I m able to express it to you through thought, word and deed. Indeed, many of my former girlfriends have remarked that the eloquence by which I conveyed my love for them was remarkable and unparalleled. So yes I do love. My form of love may not be the same as yours, but then whose is? My version is sweeter, greater and all encompassing.

Just because it does not last does not mean that it is not love. Its ephemeral nature is your fault, not mine.

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18 thoughts on “A Question of Love”

  1. Yeah, love…I’ve been told I don’t love anyone but myself. I have to admit I don’t know what real love is or feels like.

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  2. I love you too. Whatever and however you want it to be as long as I get my fill my way. Only if they knew, they will understand. Narcs are not to blame. This is so true.

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  3. Love
    Everybody has its own particular way of loving and defining love.
    Love can equal money
    Love can be doing things for the other to make his life easier
    Love can be give shelter
    The own definition of love can change also depending on the phases of life you are.
    I bet if a couple stays together for 60 years, the way they see love when they were each one 20 will be different than than the way they will see love when they reach 80.
    For a new born baby love is being fed, changed and cared for al he is uncapable of doing in order to survive
    For a teenager love is is being understood, listened to and receive support.
    making the other feel secure, that no matter what everything will be okay, love is accepting people how they are,
    Love is also to take time so loneliness doesnt creep in, or love can be to give time to somebody when he or she needs it sacrfying me desire to be with them
    In all of this there is a common basis.. The common basis for Love in adulthood is to fullfill emotional needs in a way that makes the other one feels cared for, accepted and undorstood.
    As we are all different the challenge is how do I taylor my way of loving so that YOU feel loved.

    So at the end everybody can have their own way of loving, why it had an ephemeral nature was because it did not make the other one feel cared for, safe, understood and accepted. It did not help him or her to grow.

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  4. Yes, the ideas of love come in all types of form, however, we are only able to apprehend this through the awareness of our perceptions of movement and non movement, which includes the somatic experiences of our senses, all of which are– actions.
    The moment that one begins the inescapable circular philosophising of love ( which can be a form of defence), it evaporates, which from this vantage point, we need not worry, as this is the telling of the eternal concepts that are bound to the ideas of love. Recognizing this as a question, and there for as the cause, to our meandering through our descent, will have us ascending with the awareness, that perhaps this is truly not a question, it is an answer. By apprehending this, we can then see the destructive natures of self deception which cause us to question this in the first place, therefore rending our psychological landscapes and their possibilities attenuated and parched.

    Let’s look at it. We have been taught we can buy love, we can walk ourselves into a store and truly believe that we are buying love. We have been taught that we can move mountains with love, that we will be full and complete, some people even believe we can live on it and that in itself makes it a currency, and the way the world has been constructed we all know what that means – if you don’t have enough currency, well then you simply do not have a voice. A malignant narcissist – at the top of the spectrum – is here showing us the realities of that toxic, malicious, pain- saturated, terrified voice that was injected into him, every-single-time-he-attempted- to- be – seen-heard – recognized – as existing.

    And we are in this suffering now together, collectively, as humanity. And because of that we do need to be vigilant.

    If we can consider the above as ingrained, historically taught, reactive, and an unconscious reflex to which internal and external dialogue is formed, perhaps we can move towards a shift in our constructs of love by getting in touch with something deeper, something more empowering, such as adoration which is one of the most powerful, deepest forms of reverence towards anothers full existence.
    When adoration is given, it is given towards another without taking anything away, it is literally and figuratively holding the hand of your choosing, in the downpours that come and go, in full support of the others life path, and even the ones that are playfully constructed through the constant creative feeding of desires. Adoration trusts the others trust in their vulnerability of being free and leading a relationship with the commitment to do no harm.

    This authors post, similar to `Whore, reflects rage, a rage driven with misogynistic intention( the need of and yet paralysing fear of intimacy with a woman and abhorring the woman for this very need.(hate driven) , a rage that excessively vacillates inside the walls of the mind echoing the obsessive compulsion that underlies the paranoia of ceasing to exist, simultaneously, with the anguished suffering that ensues from existing. This is the extirpation of the anguish, for a lesser evil; The inherent drive towards empathy and the terror of its detection.

    S

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    1. Wow this was fascinating. In a way complements my def of tailoring love to the emotional needs of a person.
      Your concept of adoration is the wilöndow to see through the tailored love that a narcissist needs to feel safe and secure and understood.
      Thanks 🌷🌷
      There will be always flowers for you 😃

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      1. Good Morning Nikita! Thank you for your kind and heartfelt words. How wonderful that when I think of you I can now see, smell, taste, and feel a bouquet of wildflowers. Extending my hand towards you, am I.

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  5. This is the voice of the transversed mother wound, the Evolved Empath who is equal in sheer strength on all levels to that of the Malignant Narcissist as she pulls her power from within the ineluctable synergistic force that is brilliantly co-created by the two.

    PARITY

    I am standing here bending in the wind
    Shining the sun through my eyes to support your way finding
    You have been calling me for lifetimes now
    Blind and calling
    I had shed the dress and into the pants
    Slipping back now into the dress
    My shoulders are relaxed and my chest is open
    My belly slightly distended
    Growing birth and pregnant with life
    I have walked silently for centuries now
    Adorned with jewels and burnt at stakes
    Keeping me untouchable and charred
    I am not of the shame you fear for desiring my breast
    No envy for the phallus you hold between your legs
    I wish to see you rise
    Out of the ground and down from the top of the world
    Meeting in the middle
    Where you take your place beside me

    -Copywrited Material 2014

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    1. This almost made me cry.
      Its like Ode (ᾠδή ōdḗ) of redemption of the mother that did not follow the nature for what she was created and did not care for her child.
      This is the redemption saying come to me now. I will care and nurture you

      Translated into the life of the Narcissit as finding the empath which has that magnet force to make synergies with that can result in the “give and take” that normal love is supposed to be.
      Very very nice 🌷🌷
      At least this is my interpretation of the poem and your message. 💝

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      1. I hope this finds you well Nikita. It is a full voice this piece, with many intimations surfacing. Use it as you will in a way that best supports your nourishment for where ever you may be at in your journey.

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    2. How incredibly gorgeous and beautiful and sacred this invitation is. It comes from the deepest knowing of awareness and strength and the courage of vulnerability. This is the crux of Divine Relationship. Thank you.❤️

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      1. Good Morning Bethany! Thank you for your kind and loving words. Yes, in ways it is an invitation, an invitation that has withstood the test of time. Empathy, challenges us to look at the levels of intimacy that we hold within our relationship with self. Part of the wisdom that empathy harnesses is the knowing that if we do not do this, then we have no recourse but to take from another, which only leads to self destruction and feeds self deception. This does not mean that we do not need anything outside of ourselves, that is the belief of narcissism. Empathy is what breaks cycles, and is valiant in its honed positions of courage, strength, and gentleness. It is always ahead of narcissism, and one of the ways we know this is that empathy is what narcissism seeks- needs -hunts, a predator must always come up from behind in order to attempt destruction of something that is already existing as a natural power.Narcissism is taught. This is a vast and complex subject area, to which a dialectical discourse is needed as it is of the highest value. Thank you Bethany and I am also extending my hand towards yours with respect and love. Thank you

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  6. HG…it does feel glorious to bask in your love soaked sunshine. No one does it better. Makes me feel sad for the rest. Nobody does it half as good as you. Baby, your the best.

    Infatuation is a powerfully delicious thing. But life (true love) cannot be sustained on candy and powdered donuts …at some point we must transition to nourishing our relationship with life giving sustenance which isn’t sexy but it’s got teeth.

    We want to make that shift…for both of us…

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  7. Love doesn’t last . Happens in normal relationship too . We have to recreate it . Just need to find the person worth recreating it for

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  8. “Above and beyond” – absolutely true…

    But where to draw the line between this love and intimacy?
    What about touch? If you want to touch the narcissist – is it fuel or is it too much intimate so unwanted?)
    What about missing the good times with somebody? Or is it all being shattered in one moment forever with the devaluation disappointment?

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