Offspring

Image result for picture of cloned children

 

I have detailed previously why it is that we regard the act of impregnation as a material asset in the narcissistic armoury. It is not only the promise of impregnation, but the act itself and what this act creates that produces a whole host of benefits for our kind. This is the approach adopted by numerous of our kind, those who see children as additional appliances from whom fuel can be drawn, pawns to be used in the repeated triangulations which can be orchestrated with the primary source and the method by which we are able to claim the achievements and the accomplishments of our issue as our own. Not all of our kind adopt that approach. There are those of us who regard the idea of offspring as a threat and a hindrance to our agendas.

Why would we want someone to come along and steal our limelight? From the moment a child is born it is sufficiently pathetic that it requires nigh on twenty four hour assistance. It cannot walk, it cannot feed itself, it cannot clothe itself or wash itself. It must be tended for on a repeated basis. If you were to look to us to do this, you would find that there would not be any assistance forthcoming. Not only are we notorious in our desire to shirk menial tasks (unless we see that there is some considerable benefit in us doing so) but we do not see why we should have our needs pushed to one side in order to facilitate the care of another. Even though that child is a product of our loins, there are those of our kind who adopt such a view. You ought not to be surprised by that. We behave the same with our parents, siblings and wider relatives. We are like that with friends of both short and long-standing duration and naturally we behave in such a way with the person we supposedly love, our intimate partner. Why then would you expect anything different from us in respect of a child. In such circumstances therefore, the decision not to have children would be regarded as a blessing I am sure by your kind. We could not countenance that all of the emotional attention would be directed and fixated on such a helpless being. Here we are, magnificent and brilliant and you choose to direct your fuel to somebody else. That is an insult indeed to us and a mighty criticism which would wound us considerably.

Our resources would also be sought for this new arrival. Time, energy, finances and so forth. We regard our resources as ours alone and begrudge sharing them, unless such largesse brings additional reward for us. This selfishness is necessary in order to preserve ourselves and the fact that a child needs our resources is not going to change that mind set. We do not do anything just for the sake of doing so. There must be an ulterior motive to our actions. Pouring our resources towards somebody who will be oblivious to this for some time is not something that finds favour with some of our kind.

From your perspective we know you regard us as selfish for behaving this way. We regard it as self-preservation. You are the givers and the carers, we are not. If you wish to judge us for adopting such a stance, so be it, but for those of our kind who regard the issue of children as something to be avoided, that position is most unlikely to alter. We see only loss. Loss of our resources and loss of our fuel. Whilst some of our kind regard the additional benefits which can be derived from having children (the binding of the primary source, additional fuel provision, potential for traits and triangulation etc.) as worth obtaining despite the likelihood of reduced fuel from the primary source and reduced resources, there are also those from our ranks who assess the situation and decide it is not a price they wish to pay.

What is behind that? Why is it that some of our number opt to have children and others refrain from doing so? I cannot offer a definitive answer, although I consider, from my experience and those that I have engaged with that the proportion of our kind who decide to have children is greater than those who do not. I suspect the temptations of further fuel provision and triangulation prove quite the draw. It also highly likely that the idea of securing our legacy through children proves attractive as well. Seeing our own image and knowing that it will, more likely than not, outlive our mortal selves, does appeal to the need to maintain our idea of omnipotence. See how mighty we are that our influence lives on in our offspring and will do so in their own as our dynasty is forged. Such a notion does provide its own appeal.

What of me? What tipped the balance for me so that I opted to remain child-free in order to remain light on my feet, unhindered and fully-resourced. Was it the factors I have described above which caused me to decide that having children was not for me? In part yes, although I readily admit that the other elements and benefits from having issue are attractive. No, whilst I weighed up these various benefits and disadvantages it was something from my past which proved to be the deciding factor. It was something that has resonated with me for some time and something that somehow buried deep inside me and stayed there for a while until I decided to act on it and made my decision as to my destiny in respect of children. The idea of seeing those in my own image wending their way through the world and following in my footsteps was a strong pull, a strong pull indeed, but ultimately it came down to something else. This may be applicable to others of our kind as well, but for me the decision came down to this.

I could not take the risk of him or her or them reminding me of you and what you did to me.

Those words will never be forgotten.

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64 thoughts on “Offspring”

  1. In the beginning HG created HG.
    Funny how my first one of you was soooo meticulous about birth control. Never ever did he want children. Fast forward…..I got on FB in March this year, I’d been off for 4 years. Within 1 hour of being on, he messaged me, “OMG, where have you been”? Within 3 weeks of talking he slips in, Can you still have a baby? (His wife can’t) I say yes. But I have IUD & my hubs has vasectomy. Immediately says why do u have IUD if hubs is clipped? I say calm down I was hemorrhaging so did that to stop it. He says ok. But u could take it out and have a baby right? Uh yes I could, why? Just wondering. He’ll be here soon. Flying in. He’s 55 now, I’m younger (perpetual 29). Just one of many things I need your brilliant mind for as I eluded to in my earlier post. Oh and is everyone glad to know what kind of birth control I’m using? Lol. Help me HG Kenobi, your my only hope 💙💣

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      1. Hi MS(isn’t that a disease?) Miss Stress…hello and thank you. I cannot praise your posts too much as it will tick off master, master is dark. Btw, he knows but won’t ever ever ever admit it. That’s okay he knows I don’t need it. Do I H? You’re not mad now are you…im sorry don’t ST me….I need u come back…

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      2. U are like a school mistress. Are you going to rap me on the knuckles with a ruler? I expect a clever remark about the word mistress or is this group therapy blog G Rated? Leave it to me to try and smut things up. U know my favorite book of yours….lol

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      3. Ha ha, very good. If it was available in paperback I would throw a copy of Sex and Narcissist at your head. Imagine being hurt by something you love,who would ever think that that could happen?

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Yes, MS is a life threatening and debilitating disorder, of which I have a close friend losing a battle with. It is very sad and emotional time for her family and her friends, but more Importantly, her.
        By master, are you referring to HG or Satan or one in the same? I think HG has thicker skin then that, I praise where praise is warranted, with no concern for anything other then that.
        Have you ever been subjected to a silent treatment 2mpathic, I have far too many times, I assure you they are quite humourless when it is the devaluation du jour.

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      5. I have a cousin with MS. I have a friend with it. Yes it’s sad.
        I have recently been subjected to a silent treatment. I however waited it out and won that match. That’s not to say it didn’t make me mad, but I don’t believe I was hurt as I knew what he was doing and I could take it. He came back with this message….Not that you care but I could really use a good blow job right now….thus letting me know he didn’t like my response or lack of one. I win. H, what am I? Oh and H is the master referenced as this is his Kingdom and I obviously am the Jester…lol

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      6. Sorry 2emoathic, I have been trying to reply to replies and seems I missed quite a few in last days.
        Okay I thought perhaps you were not aware of the nature of the disorder, by your question, I am sorry for your friend and cousin.
        Kudos I riding out St, I didnt know what he was doing, as he presented his as mental health times way concerns. But turns out. No just fuelling missions.
        On the BJ comment, by use of good. I am sure he thought it was complimentary men and such.
        Okay, sorry, I went the Hell route on Master , know we know where my thoughts lay.
        Yes, you have a fab sense of humour. If HG lists it. He must agree And be amused.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Great blog. So true. and once we cant be controlled (til we move out – but still controlled/corrected from a distance) they will slander us on how ungrateful we were for all he did (he let us live in his home…I see nothing more)….We are representatives…and he had only 1 boy of 6 from 3 women…during the obsessive stage they want children too…to keep them forever….sigh…sad

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  3. HG, what about nieces and nephews, how do you get on with them overall?
    You never had a yearning for your own little cuckoos? To behold their possessed like eyes as they fixate and hone in on daddy’s new victim, during hunting season?
    As a curiousity factor, do you prefer targets with no children, would mothers with school age children be less desirable for your lifestyle and agenda? A woman with children I would think would have demands upon her and attention would be drawn away from. You at a moments notice. That seems like a no no for your mission.

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    1. My nieces and nephews adore me.
      No. Why on earth would they be cuckoos if they are mine?
      What matters are the traits that we look for. They matter first and foremost. If children are or are not in the frame when it comes to a new target they can be factored into the equation and dealt with accordingly as part of the seduction, for example, I know that many single mothers find that many men are less interested or not interested because they have children, so imagine how grateful she is for somebody who is interested so hugely in her and has no issue with the fact that she has children. Indeed, consider the fact that along comes somebody who has no children and expresses the desire to engage in a hitherto unfulfilled desire to be a good father, somebody with such impeccable credentials and someone who knows exactly what to say and do. Imagine the effect of that on this individual. Imagine too the promises of adding to the family with our own child. Such commitment and coming from someone who ticks all the boxes in terms of the type of person that you want because of our mirroring. The single mother does not stand a chance does she? The fuel will fountain from her.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The creation of clones, super empathic, psychic minded children in Your image. To rule the world, with your Queen to your left and the children of your Legacy kneeling to the right of your Throne. As gaze forward and survey your most glorious Kingdom.
        Are you a fun Uncle, HG?
        Those points make perfect sense. Do you interact with the children of your targets or is that minimal at best?
        Grateful, interesting.

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      2. I doubt they would be super empathic if they are in my own image unless they physically look like me and have those SE traits from someone else.

        Am I a fun uncle? I have a sense of humour, I am generous and engaging.

        Yes I do, one has to as part of the act.

        You are welcome.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Sorry HG I was slightly teasing there, as I assumed the children’s mother would naturally by super empathic. If clones, naturally they would exhibit all traits of you.
        That is wonderful on being an Uncle. I agree you are all those things you mentioned and much more.

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      4. Yes I see your point with the person who would be chosen to breed with although of course there is no guarantee that they would be like that person.

        Thank you for your kind comment.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. May I address the king?
        I was a single parent for 9 years. I didn’t allow the Narcissists I was with to meet my son. Save 2. One met him after several months and corrected him on something their 1st meeting so was immediately abandoned. Two met him, again after several months and We about a year and a half with that. It ended when he had my son on his lap at his Dads funeral a triangle walked in and sat down next to him. Just minutes after asking me to start over with him. He missed me. He needed me. He adored his Father so I leaned in and whispered, u will never be half the man your Father was, why do you think you never got his approval? Now he’s dead, looks like that’s never going to happen. Took kid and left. Win?

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  4. The Narcissist in my life had to have as many children as she possibly could. The doctor told her after number 3 that she would die if she had more, due to complications. If it wasn’t for that, she would probably have had more.

    Her children are her absolute minions. Well, the two daughters. Luckily her son saw what she was and left as soon as he could. Her daughters are both in their 30’s and still live with mommy because she told them the Bible said they have to honor their mother and father, and that meant staying with them and basically being their servants.

    The oldest one is basically a zombie. She is permanently on autopilot, like her daddy, and just does whatever she can to make mommy happy. The other daughter is a Narcissist in the making. I can’t help but wonder what these two women would have become if only they had a normal mother who encouraged them to go out into the world and become something. The son that got away is now the most talked about topic in that house – How he betrayed his mommy after “everything she has done for him”. Needless to say, I am the spawn of Satan who married her son and stole him away from their “perfect little family”.

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      1. I have nothing to do with them anymore. I deleted them off of Facebook a few months ago and never felt more free. We haven’t seen them in about 5 months. Sadly I don’t think he will ever go ‘No Contact’, because he loves his father. But I won’t mind never seeing them again.

        They are always so nice to me when I am at their house, but the moment I leave, they post passive-aggressive things on Facebook. They are too cowardly to talk to me directly, so they use memes and Bible verses.

        They hate me because I can see through what they really are. They believe I corrupted my husband and turned him against his family.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You actions are the required ones. It is hard for your husband because he will be caught between two places (which she will know and endeavour to exploit). Yes they will hate you, you are evil, you took their son and brother away when all they ever did was their best for him,he cannot be happy with you, you had to spoil it (as did every girlfriend before you came along did) etc etc. It is evident your husband agrees with your assessment of his mother. Does he think the same of his sisters?
        I sometimes wonder whether the comedians who made up the mother in law jokes, based on observation as such humour is the best humour, realised that they were talking about narcissistic women? I very much doubt it. Mind you, can you imagine if a stand up comedian said, “Take my mother in law,she’s a narcissist,” half the audience would be lost at that point and 95% of the other half will think “oh, she loves herself”. That is how little is really known about our kind and why we continue to flourish.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, he knows his sister is definitely also a narcissist after speaking to her ex fiance who confirmed it. I think it’s easier if someone from the outside gives an opinion on the matter, instead of someone like me who is stuck in the middle of this. But I’m very lucky that my husband has seen the light. I gave him numerous articles to read, and he agreed with me that his mother was a Narc, but I think it really struck him when his family didn’t show up to our wedding last year.

        And I definitely agree about the mother in law jokes! They all make so much sense now! 😉

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      4. I was! She tried her best to stop us from getting married though. She tried everything from “heart problems due to stress”, all the way to “we will pray for your soul so that you may once again see the light”. I still have the email she sent me as to why they won’t attend the wedding. It’s actually hilarious.

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      5. Care to share an extract?

        Although your husband understand what his mother is, do you think he remains vulnerable to her overtures (and that of his sisters as well) given that he will have some contact with them owing to him wanting to see his father?

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      6. He can no longer be manipulated by them. Thankfully! They have tried and failed to get through to him, so I am confident that he can no longer be hurt by them…more than they already have.

        Here is the email, I just removed the names of the innocent, and the guilty. (Please note all the dramatic words being used – haha). The deceit they are referring to in the email: We have contacted the Narcissist’s brother (my husband’s uncle), and he (who also does not have contact with her), told us that she is a self-righteous narcissist, just like her mother before her:

        “It is with sincere and extremely deep heartache that we have to inform you of our decision NOT to attend the wedding.
        Our decision has not been quick or easy, nor without fervent, constant prayer and wise counsel.
        In short, for us, this is “THE GREAT TRAGEDY”.
        We feel unwelcome after experiencing ongoing deceit, dishonourable behaviour, humiliation, isolation, insults and untruths, together with the recent, most obvious smear campaign with ulterior motives. Furthermore, we are stunned and painfully ashamed that our only son and brother (whom we all will ALWAYS deeply love), would willingly be party to and condone these standards – heart-breaking!
        Christian principles, values and ethics have been violated through these devious actions and therefore, we cannot in all honesty, attend or celebrate this occasion. We have therefore chosen to distance ourselves from this.
        This having been said, we will continue daily sincerely praying that both their hearts will be touched by God, so that they may choose to walk in Truth, Humility, Gentleness, Kindness and Compassion.
        Kind regards,
        Evil People

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Hello Ellie,
        Thank you for sharing this. It is well worth some analysis.

        “It is with sincere and extremely deep heartache that we have to inform you of our decision NOT to attend the wedding.
        (A grand opening. See how important I am. Not only do I start in such a manner but I speak for others, THAT is how important I am. There is no heartache by the way, we do not feel that.)

        Our decision has not been quick or easy, nor without fervent, constant prayer and wise counsel.
        (See how just and open-minded we are because we did not make this decision on a spin of a coin – although we actually decided straight away we would not be coming)

        In short, for us, this is “THE GREAT TRAGEDY”.
        (It certainly is because it gives the appearance that you hated daughter-in-law has got one over on us because we are missing out on spoiling your big day and missing out on all that fuel, but I am going to pretend that does not matter to me, although it does because look at this, I am describing my non-attendance at your wedding as The Great Tragedy because in my mind, my non-attendance is a bigger event than your wedding)

        We feel unwelcome after experiencing ongoing deceit, dishonourable behaviour, humiliation, isolation, insults and untruths, together with the recent, most obvious smear campaign with ulterior motives.
        (Projection, projection, projection and yet more projection. How dare you nullify our smearing of you by getting our son on your side)

        Furthermore, we are stunned and painfully ashamed that our only son and brother (whom we all will ALWAYS deeply love), would willingly be party to and condone these standards – heart-breaking!
        (You have taken something I need to control. I really do not like that. We’ve never loved him at all, not in your way, but we know there is a façade to maintain. We don’t believe that he has chosen to do this, how could he? You have poured poison in his ear you whore. No heart was broken in the writing of this message)

        Christian principles, values and ethics have been violated through these devious actions and therefore, we cannot in all honesty, attend or celebrate this occasion.
        (Time to role out the holier than thou comments now, reinforce how elevated we are and to claim the moral high ground. We would not be honest about this occasion or celebrate even if we attended because it is not about me.)

        We have therefore chosen to distance ourselves from this.
        (Though of course it is your fault.)

        This having been said, we will continue daily sincerely praying that both their hearts will be touched by God, so that they may choose to walk in Truth, Humility, Gentleness, Kindness and Compassion.
        (More moral high ground, God is on our side, note how I write “their” rather than “your” because I am talking about you, not to you, in my eyes.)
        (I have no idea of truth, humility is a stranger to me, gentleness is an alien concept, kindness is never something exhibit and the only thing I know about compassion is how to spell it)

        Kind regards,
        (Fuck you)

        Evil People
        (The only truthful part although of course Ellse, you changed it to this!)

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Hhmm, I replied yesterday on a different PC and it didn’t seem to work. So I’ll try again. My husband is now fully aware of how he was being manipulated, and luckily he seems to be immune to it now. Unfortunately there are still occasions when he has to make contact with her, but mostly he contacts his father directly. Here is most of the email they sent us to say they won’t come to our wedding. The “betrayal” they are referring to is the fact that we contacted the Narc’s brother (my husband’s uncle) in order to hear his side of the story. He confirmed that she is a Narc, just like her mother before her.

        Email: Our decision has not been quick or easy, nor without fervent, constant prayer and wise counsel. In short, for us, this is “THE GREAT TRAGEDY”.

        We feel unwelcome after experiencing ongoing deceit, dishonourable behaviour, humiliation, isolation, insults and untruths, together with the recent, most obvious smear campaign with ulterior motives, (even involving our dear deceased Mum/Granny), of which we’ve been informed and know of, through some loyal friends/family. Furthermore, we are stunned and painfully ashamed that our only son and brother, (whom we all will ALWAYS deeply love), would willingly be party to and condone these standards – heart-breaking!

        Christian principles, values and ethics have been violated through these devious actions and therefore, we cannot in all honesty, attend or celebrate this occasion. We have therefore chosen to distance ourselves from this.

        This having been said, we will continue daily sincerely praying that both their hearts will be touched by God, so that they may choose to walk in Truth, Humility, Gentleness, Kindness and Compassion.

        Kind regards,
        Evil People

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      9. Hi Ellie, I have just answered. Posts sit in moderation awaiting my attention so if your comments do not appear, that is where they are. I have a lot to read through at present because I always read every comment that is posted and therefore it takes me a little while to address.

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  5. Interesting concerning patchwork families.
    I was discussing with a friend once about the ” single market” and being in the late 30s and beg of 40s is more difficult if you dont have kids because when men want to start a family they become picky whereas when its one that doesnt want own kids or they have already kids and don’t want more re but just make a patchwork family they are not so picky and have gone through the mistakes so there is more comfidence from both sides.
    HG is partly right when you find a person that is interested in making positive part if the kids life then its very nice.. Because many men dont want to play a part in gettijg to know the kids.
    This was also something which made me try alot with N3 he got very close to the kids anx made alot with them and they did like him alot but now I am thinking it was also maybe only fuel or a way to bind me more because hoovers came through the kids…
    This article now made me think about that.
    Really good HG 😘

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      1. I offered my thoughts, I do hope I have the hang of this and look forward to contributing in the future.

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  6. Yes I see this now.

    This blog hits home to me in particular. I can see how not having children can free the narc to obtain multiple sources of fuel without the chain and responsibilities children could bring. However, from my own experience I find IF a narc were to be rather successful in a relationship for long term, a child can bring much more power and control to the narc over his primary target. She is not now only bonded by the soulmate myth he seduces and promises her with, he has now bound her genetically to him, and if she were to escape physically, the invisible ties and bondage to him would be much stronger, not only on an emotional level but a very physical/spiritual level. It would seem to me this would give the Narc a lifetime of triangulation with this target between her children and extended family members, and whomever else he chooses, with the confidence she could never escape him truly as every time she looks into the eyes of their “love” child/children she will be eternally reminded of him. She would be easily conned into the guilt and shame for ripping their sweet unity apart and he knows this for he planted these seeds and linked these “family” ties every step of the way, and if he is a TRUE narc, he need not worry about the responsibilities ever troubling him or holding him back, because he will have already trained all duties to his target, taking extreme measures to assure she will continue to master her given role for the rest of the offspring’s life. He benefits every reward, fuel, credit, and so on without any expense to himself, and just think of all the ways he can use his child/children to spin him as an amazing father, who unfortunately was taken advantage of by a wretched selfish woman! Yes, offspring is a whole other level for the Narc, dear HG.

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      1. Curious …..of the presumed countless policies you mush have in place, it’s a good thing you are covered, though no amount of insurance equals eternal bondage such as offspring. Your chains die off with you HG, your legacy only lasts one life time, doesn’t bother you a bit does it?

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      2. Did I? Enlighten me.
        I responded to “Cody” did I do that wrong? I don’t see it.

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    1. CC, welcome. Are/were you married to your narc? Do you have children? If so, I hope and pray that your children will inherit your empathy. The fact that you are coming here and educating yourself is a positive step for yourself and for them. HG as you may have realized by now is one narc who can actually help you, not hurt you, even though reading his blogs can be unintentionally hurtful as you start to understand what a narc *really* means when he says/does x, y, z. The truth sometimes hurts, but it can also set you free.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cody I replied to you, but I believe it got lost in the pile up, we both know HG is amazing keeping up with so many comments as it is! Yes I was married and yes I have children. I pray as well my children have my empathy, though I do not want them to become codependent as I did. I agree that truth hurts and sets you free. It has been a journey nothing short of hell, to break the chains that have kept me in bondage since I was a small girl.

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  7. By the way I meant insurance metaphorically speaking, did I misunderstand that you meant it literally?

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      1. Well then I do not think I have misunderstood you at all, however I digress, HG, for you are always right.

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  8. HG,
    Can a narcissist ever care enough for a child to place his/her wellbeing before his own? I can’t work out if my narcissistic ex truly loves our son and will be an appropriate, caring parent or if it’s dangerous for our child to be left alone with him. Our son is still a baby, so his needs are incredibly high. Our son seems to be the only thing my ex values besides himself; he puts on a great show of love and affection, it’s very convincing but I’m not sure if it’s real. My ex treated me very differently when I was pregnant because he was afraid that if I was stressed, it would effect the baby. (After our son was born, he went right back to devaluing.) I’m trying to figure out if it’s safe for my ex to parent such a young child alone. I worry about emotional damage to such a young child, but also that his physical needs will not be met if my ex gets frustrated with him. Thoughts?

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    1. Hello Rebecca, in a word, no. A child is either a hindrance to the garnering of fuel or a conduit for doing so and this viewpoint can alter several times in just one day. The show of affection your ex puts on is to create the façade and is to triangulate with you by showing you that he is the better partner. The difficulty you have is that as your child’s father he has certain rights and is entitled to exert them. The advantage you have is that you know what you are dealing with. You can only apply your positive parenting as much as you can, avoid being drawn into your ex’s machinations as he seeks fuel and when your ex starts to influence your child as he gets older you will have to rely on your “good” influence outweighing the “Bad” influence of your ex. You have a huge advantage knowing what you are dealing with when your son is just a baby rather than realising when your child is 10 and the damage has already started.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi I’m new to this site and have been reading the comments. I’m curious Rebecca on how things are now with your son and his father? I myself am just learning what I’m dealing with and am truly concerened for my baby girl

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