Our kind love to create chaos and drama. We thrive off the emotional reactions from everybody who is caught up in it. From our intimate partners through to outer circle friends and even complete strangers. Whether it is open-mouthed admiration at some audacious act, seething anger at some scything comment or tears and upset at our heartless cruelty we need that reaction. We create an entrance, a scene and a spectacle in order to have all eyes and emotions on us. We will manufacture flamboyance, boastfulness, magnificence, carnage, misery and histrionics. From striding like a conquering hero into a restaurant through to flouncing away and throwing a glass on the floor, if there is an opportunity to create a scene and extract some fuel we will take it. If we crash the car, there is much fuel to obtain from worried relatives, annoyed partner at our reckless driving, concerned paramedics and questioning police officers. Other people may be nervous and overwhelmed in such circumstances. We are not. We appear surprisingly calm in the whirlwinds that we create, revelling in the fuel that has been generated, our serene outlook a consequence of the power that has been created from the fuel. We may create a picture of panic in order to start the fuel flowing and then revert to a calm individual as the fuel washes over us. If you observe closely you will periodically be able to detect those flashes and glints of powered delight in our eyes in between whatever mask that we have settled on in order to further the charade that we have created. Turmoil, tragedy, panic, anguish, catastrophe and mayhem are all gleefully greeted by us – as long as we are the conductor, the architect and the creator. If it is our tornado, we love it. If it is our conversational hand grenade that has exploded, so much the better. We have to be the originator of whatever scene is unfolding so that the responses are directed at and are because of us.
The situation is very different if there is a crisis not of our making. If you have suffered a bereavement, the test results have come back confirming your worst fears, you have had an awful day at work, you have fallen out with your best friend or the bath has overflowed and flooded into the kitchen below then you ought to know that we cannot be relied on. In such instances we invariably hope that the trauma and the incident arises when we are nowhere near the scene. Should you telephone us and tearfully explain what has happened or ring asking for our help, you should expect that there will be a sudden problem with telecommunications or something even more urgent has just cropped up with us and we cannot help. The ‘phone call will be ended and when you try back you will find it will either just ring or go straight voice mail. If it is not our chaos we are not interested.
If we suffer the misfortune of being on hand when the drama you are experiencing unfolds our eyes will be looking for the nearest exit. If we have an opportunity to slink away, dart for the door or mutter some kind of excuse and hot foot it away from the immediate vicinity of you and your problems, we will absolutely take it and vanish.
We don’t want to be hamstrung with your problems. If these happen during our seduction of you, we will at first try to escape them and if that is not possible then we will reluctantly remain offering cold empathy. You may recall from instances where this has happened that we will be big on the sympathetic noises and correct facial expressions (all learned of course) and short on actually doing anything to solve the problem you face, leaving you to sort it out or most likely directing others to do so. We do not want to get our hands dirty. We will play the part so you think we are a good person and give us fuel. We will create the impression of caring and offering ideas so that others observing admire us but we will focus on the words rather than the doing. Even during seduction, we do not want to waste out energy too greatly on you.
Of course if this mishap takes place when we are in the throes of devaluation then we will reject your request for help and support, alternatively we will vanish and remain incommunicado before we re-appear once we are content that the drama is over. We will breeze back in and not bother to ask you what happened or how you are. We are not interested. All eyes and emotions shifted to you. That is no good to us. That is why we absented ourselves and sought out someone else who would provide us with the fuel we needed.
If there is no opportunity for us to get away from your immediate drama and we are forced to remain proximate to you, then you should make careful note of what you see. We will not feign the cold empathy that occurs when a crisis breaks during the seduction. We cannot bring ourselves to do that because whatever problem has arisen is your problem, it is beneath us and we hate you for being so weak and inferior to have such a problem (regardless of whether you have any culpability for it). You will be met with a cold, expressionless face. A blank almost robotic expression will greet you as we just stare at you. We do not feel anything for you in such a situation other than contempt but this will not necessarily show because we know you will be too busy focused on your own woes and misery to actually respond to our sneer or hateful look, thus we save it. Most of all, as the storm of tragedy and mishap batters and buffets you, look at our eyes. You will just see nothingness. A void. A blank stare. A dark-eyed emptiness looking back at you. You should be aware of this and if you remain in the throes of entanglement with our kind at present, when the next crisis which appertains to you manifests and you look to us for assistance, scrutinise our eyes. Then you will see what we feel for you when you are in pain, distress and difficulty.