The Narcissistic Truths No. 3

the-new-you-3

0
Advertisements

90 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths No. 3”

  1. That’s a great picture. That must be after your morning routine and you are making your decision.
    I only ask myself that question when it’s dress up day at school or Halloween. Lol

    Could you tell what mask your mother was going to choose? What were the signs?
    Thanks

    0
    1. Ha ha SW, as somebody commented on the FB page they thought I would have far more masks than that.
      Are you still at school? Does your mother know you are here?!

      MatriNarc’s countenance at home was invariably imperious and glacial. It was watching her interact with other people when the masks were used. Faux reverence, false hilarity (accompanied by ridiculous falsetto laugh), manufactured benevolence and so on. It was not so much the masks that one looked out for but rather that is was cracking and the fury was about to appear. If one saw that surfacing one made oneself scarce PDQ.

      0
      1. Sounds like another MatriNarc I know. A couple, actually. They also seem to have the same play book. False laugh, false listening face, ice cold undertones always, and a look down the nose. Not my mother or father, thank God. And yet, I had at least 2 and possibly 3 exes that were/are narcissists.

        0
      2. You may have as many masks as I do costumes. Lol…They have there own room.
        I’m safely home from school and ready for the next costume change. πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜‡
        That laugh was what my ex had. You describe it perfectly. You are a genius with words and descriptions.
        Did you have a safe place to hide when you saw it coming? When you were older did you just leave the house?

        0
      3. Thank you SW. Yes I had numerous hiding places with one being special in particular. When older one either went out when one saw it coming or saw that somebody else would take the flak so one stayed out of the way but could remain in the house.

        0
  2. HG, I picture some Outer Limits or Twilight Zone entity facing the masks. In reality, it is likely someone trying to make it through the day. Clever and sad.

    0
  3. This is not only very obvious from an empath standpoint–I never knew if he’d be kind or mean–but are you saying as a Greater you realize you’re doing this? Are they both fronts?

    This creates incredible cognitive dissonance for empaths. I recently had contact with him over something inconsequential. I thought for sure he’d be a jerk, as he had been to me the last several times we spoke. He was so kind I nearly crawled back into his arms. Ugh.

    0
    1. Hello SA, yes as a Greater I know full well that I adopt certain masks in order to achieve what I want. The Lesser and Mid-Range do it instinctively although they have a lesser range of masks owing to their less developed (although still effective) forms of mimicry. You are more likely to witness a blank look from a Lesser as he fails to find an appropriate mask for certain situations.

      0
  4. Now, I have a question. Is it really that purposeful, selecting masks? I know some are purposeful, though I would think other masks are almost by nature and unconscious. For example, the face one would put on to survive an interaction with a MatriNarc. I think children learn quickly those protective masks. imho

    0
    1. No it is not. With the Lesser and the Mid-Range it is instinctive. With the Greater many masks are instinctive as well but there are occasions where we decide how we shall appear for the purposes of manipulation – whether it is for positive or negative fuel.

      0
      1. Thank you, HG! Do you wear masks here or is it more of a “held back” version of “full strength HG”, due to 5 rules? Are you more real here than in your other part of your life.

        0
      2. The humour, intellect, charm, wisdom, knowledge, mild flirtation is all what you would get (and more besides of course) if you met me for real. You do not get the full seduction nor do you get the downsides either because of the five rules. I am far more truthful here than in the other part of my life.

        0
      3. Thank you HG for sharing this. I had a feeling the 5 rules kept you from full seduction and full devalue/discard here. I am glad you have a place that you feel relatively safe to be real. It is also an honor to see the more real you πŸ™‚ Thank you for that too!

        0
      4. Did you use masks to survive matrinarc? For example, the “look happy” mask so she will not lash out; the ” look blank” mask to not get humiliated for emotions you may have used to have like crying, sadness, anger?

        My personal experience with masks: I learned those masks too. I use them far less now. I had to use them when younger. If not, I would be punished. I just didn’t become a narcissist. I became someone that didn’t know her own emotions until later in life and still it was hard to express anger without guilt, sadness without shame. I developed deep apathy and depression and a co-dependent nature (12 step definition of codependence) that I have learned about and work on. These rules were taught to me nonverbally by parents that suppressed emotions due to depression (mother) and detachment in a more asocial stoic sense (dad).

        Thus, it is very interesting that we (both narcissists and non-narcissists) can have parents suppress emotion and affection (like mine) and still have differing outcomes. Another suggestion of the role that biology and possibly culture and sex/gender play here too in the development of various PDs and mood deregulation/detachment.

        0
      5. An “I’m Trying to Please You” Mask? That reeks of coping tearing away at a kid. How young do you recollect being already learning to do this to accommodate her?
        Despairingly trying to constantly please someone leads to one believing they are fundamentally unlovable. Especially with kids to rationalize in their growing brain why an adult would treat them badly.
        Did MatriNarc ever say to you or your siblings “I love you”. If so, was it said privately (as in tenderly tucking you into bed) or only if there was an audience (as in family birthday party being celebrated)?

        0
      6. Somewhere around 6 six years old.
        No she never told me that she loved me. Ever.
        My father said that she did “in her own way”. The thing is he believed that this was true.

        0
      7. I’m sorry about that.
        Yeah, your dad was trying to compensate and love you enough for two people.

        0
      8. What did that mask look like, the “I am trying to please you” , when used with the MatriNarc? I am referring to your facial expression, what did it resemble on the outside?

        0
      9. Determination. Would that be a flat-serious expression directed toward her with furrowed brows? Being concrete here, I know. It is for a reason.

        0
      10. Yes, puppy dog never worked with my parents either.

        I asked because the look you describe would never translate to me as “trying to please you”. More puppy would translate to me. (very good, BTW, you guessed it).

        So, I am hypothesizing that internal intent and outward facial communication may not appear to match to those trying to understand and leads to miscommunication. Not with your mother, necessarily, but I am now trying to figure out miscommunication between myself and others. My ex would give me the blank stare when I was in pain. I am now wondering if his blank stare had a different intent than to hurt me or convey cold…rather, could it have been a lost message he tried to send to his own MatriNarc…out of survival. An argument with me perhaps triggered his to the past…

        What do you think? I know it is a dangerous path for me to think, as I would have more sympathy for my ex, BUT I am never going back. Never. Just want a way to understand from a psychological perspective.

        0
  5. I can still recall all of his words .

    “You fell in love with work Justin that is all an act “”.

    “When I first met you I thought you were weak””

    After I found out he cheated

    “I’m sorry you did not deserve that . I can’t feel I can only see this is truly how Iam and I’m destined to be alone because of these flaws””

    But Mr Tudor the same night I found out he cheated wouldn’t those last words prove maybe there was some sense of guilt . He randomly sent me that message out of nowhere after I confronted him and went back home . Maybe that was a glimpse a humanity in him ?

    0
    1. ABB, LOL. I love that look, drool…oh darn, too young for me…shoot, I have reached the cougar age!

      He could be looking at options here and purchasing other masks from the catalog on his lap πŸ˜‰

      0
      1. Cougar smoogar,
        Think of it as experienced. Men do it all the time. Iknow right? That guy is hot. Writers hot. HG fantasy shining through. Better for me to be hooked on blog then acting out in real life. He could be circling potential targets in the picture as well. Like it.

        0
  6. HG, I believe all have different mask. I would always safe “I need to put on the Face that I will use to Face the Faces”
    But again, I do not have a face that will be to deliberately hurt. I just do not do this.
    Have a faceless day.

    0
  7. shit! SAY not safe. TYPO
    Maybe this is a Freudian slip that I feel safe on this side of the computer talking to you. You are faceless to me so I remain safe. I am so happy for the 5 rules.

    0
    1. Are the 5 rules super secrets locked away in the super secret control center?
      Mr. Tudor, who created these rules?
      Who enforces them?
      Ever been tempted to break them?

      0
  8. ok…morning…You wake up… after the bathroom visit which mask do You put on dear G? let’s assume your gf isn’t there. you are alone in the house. before departing to work etc… are You just “Yourself”…

    0
      1. oh babe. you know I have asked for the personality mask xxx I knew You’d answer that way hence me indicating “after bathroom visit” ?

        0
      2. indeed… then again how amazing You must be alone. .. 100% amazing G….. I wish to see that….

        0
  9. Interesting HG, I learned how to put on my “no issues” mask (to not show anger or sadness) around the same time. Around 6-7 I hid a lot of feelings too. Ideally, these are prime years for developing emotional awareness (beyond labeling the emotions, which happens earlier).

    0
  10. HG that is absolutely terrible!!! For your own mother to never say that. Being a mother, it’s unimaginable. I am sorry.
    My ex is a twin and her sister was favored over her and the golden child. My ex was the outcast one, abused, and never good enough for her mother. She made a remark that she never said those words to her either. Did MatriNarc tell your siblings that she loved them?

    0
      1. Is this similar to the way MatriNarc bought and gave out Christmas presents?
        She had a reason and purpose for who she said or didn’t say those words to.

        0
  11. Today is the day for masks HG! Lol..
    Happy Halloween to everyone. What mask are you wearing? Any costume to go with it?

    0
    1. I have my sociopathic stare at the ready should anybody dare to knock on my jet-black front door and yell “Trick or treat”.
      I would ignore them but I am expecting somebody this evening.

      0
    2. Hi Snow White, one of my colleagues where I work was Snow White today and I thought of you LOL. Yes, it’s pretty awesome that I am able to work at one of my jobs where we can wear costumes. I forgot it was Halloween. I should’ve dressed up as a female Indiana Jones Or a DBT therapist with a whip, A common occurrence since were both empathic and very tough **wink**

      0
      1. Wendy House? Is this some knock off Barbie Condo that you keep promising to get me for xmas?Looking for my Reece’s peanut butter cups…I bet you have bad candy for me, too (taffy that is 5 years old). ***Looking for my whip***

        0
      2. Hi Indy,
        Awwwww🍎🍎🍎🍎
        That’s my favorite reason why I like to teach at a preschool. Halloween!! Lol…
        I was Snow White a couple of years ago but this year I dressed as Cruella De Vil. (The other side). Lol
        Ohhhhh… A whip!!’

        0
      3. LOL!!! You are always great with words. I love reading your banter with HG. You guys are soooo witty.

        0
      4. Top Bantz ! I is da bomb! Word ! Me and my blood Cindy! I am the Archbishop of Banterbury, Bantersaurus Rex,Eric Bantona,The Bantom of the Opera, Bantony Hopkins, banter Clause and I live in Bantamano Bay!

        0
      5. OMG!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
        You do create the most delicious, vivid Bantasy for us all the time. I will continue reading while I sit in my sweat bants.

        0
      6. Whose been drinking banteritas and where is my sugar and salt?🍸 And you know my name ain’t Cindy. It’s Indy, Ms. Indy if you’re nasty! **does a Janet dance move***

        0
      7. Sir Bantersaurus Rex!! How many times have I told you not to touch my tequila! **picturing a T-rex trying to do shots, laughing**

        Snow, I know you saved my drink. Nothing like a cozy couch and a pair of sweat bants. πŸ™‚

        0
      8. Hehehe!!! I thought it was cute that he called you my blood Cindy! Soooo funny you two.πŸ˜‚

        0
  12. LOL!!!😈
    I would expect nothing less!! What are you passing out to the special someone?
    I have painted freckles on and some straw hanging off my body.

    BE, are your fangs ready? Lol

    0
      1. You’re just beggin’ for tricks with that line. Hope the Batmobile is locked away in the garage.

        0
      2. With your hypnotizing eyes and words! They had zero chance. And what happens when someone knocks with the bright red auro around them?

        0
  13. ***grabs tequila out of TRex hand and takes a shot***
    **shakes head**

    SW girlie, he just called you homie…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚..

    ***wraps arm around SW shoulder, throwing blood rectangles as if they were street signs, too white for my own good***

    Back to work,
    Indy from da block

    0

Leave a Reply