The Narcissistic Truths – No.47

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16 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No.47”

    1. How do you ever break free of the nightmare even though there is no contact and there has been none for over 2 years. I moved to another state, changed my phone number and stay away from things like FaceBook etc. I was divorced in 2014 but I can’t seem to get back to my life. I don’t long for him in anyway. I had nightmares about him for a year and will now but rarely. How long does it take to overcome this trauma? Neither friends or family are supportive. My brother tells me I’m f**king crazy and that the whole family knows I’m mentally ill. Yes, my father and his 3 minion sons are Narcs. I stay away from them for the most part. I’m only contacted by them regarding family matters but never without the verbal assaults. I’m sure my N picked up on this right away and it played right into his plan. The darkness still hangs over me like a heavy cloak. He ruined my connection with my oldest daughter now 30. Her husband is a Narc but I keep my opinions to myself. Time teaches many things.

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      1. The time taken varies from person to person. Some people never truly recover, others do. Some people are rather robust and move on pretty promptly, with others it takes far longer. There is no set time.

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  1. Matrinarc bullied me like her own basketball, whipping stick, toy and model to show off to the world. Now I know her hyper vigilant eyes toward me were not concern but looking for signs I’d blow her cover with my ill health, so I learned to cover it up. I was just an animal to beat up and make dance to her.
    That knowledge was too much for me at that age and I suppressed it for 25 years.

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  2. violet- so sorry your childhood was like that. Hugs to you !!! Sending you strength and love.(fuel for us empaths?)
    HG – I am learning so much from your blog and books. Thank you.
    The N. in my life is a sibling. We are all grown up and live in different cities but have to deal with each other from time to time for family events etc. Your explanation of Fuel was an eye opener for me and I was recently able to NOT provide fuel via group text. Everything suddenly makes sense and I am putting your information to good use.
    My question is – can you address the Narcissist as family member in a post? Most seem to be about love interest or spouse but I know for a fact that our N. Has had a significant effect on our family.

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    1. Hello Hanford, welcome on board and thank you for your kind words I am pleased that you are putting the information to good use. The issue of family is touched on occasionally and indeed you will no doubt have seen the latest post giving an overview of the narcissistic familial dynamic. There is more to come.

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    2. Good point. I’d also like to see more about the family dynamic. My father and brothers are all N’s and I too am forced to have contact with them.

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    1. And one we can turn back on them too. Change your number, block their number, and never respond to unknown callers. Mine went off the handle with his phone, especially when I didn’t respond to him and after I initiated no contact.

      If you are still in the mix or can’t leave due to type of relationship, do not let their phone games give them fuel from you. Ignore their hiding the screen, hide yours and password protect yours. Do not pick up at first call. If he plays on his phone when you have special time together, ignore and do the same. Especially if you are planning on leaving. I actually did this before I left. He stopped the phone games until after I left. He did other stuff that he knew would get me, canceling plans etc. so then I stepped it up and had back up plans and started canceling on him. The games though were just exhausting and the end came in a month when I could do it and he crossed my line. I still had spunk, thus how I handeled him. …but for a while it was watered down. Their is always a price when you play with a true player.

      Now, be careful as the anger can get dangerous, so only do this if you are sure you are safe from violence. Some of these guys can get dangerous fast. It’s best to just leave honestly.

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  3. When you reveal your true nature, I think of Edward Norton in the film Primal Fear.
    I saw this change of voice with my boyfriend. Absolutely terrifying. I do believe many evil characters in films are written by narc authors.

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