You Sicken Me



We are strong, powerful and impervious to illness or injury. We are a bastion of invulnerability, a veritable shining example of radiant health and vitality. Our superiority means we stand head and shoulders above everyone else and the weakness that comes with ill health and infirmity is not something that affects us. Except when we decide it must. That is when we play the sickness card. There are three instances, in the main, when we do this.

The first is when we do actually suffer from some illness or an injury. It may just be a fractured eyelash but to us we have been blinded with a red hot poker. The pain, good Lord the pain, it is too great and intense. It wracks us and has us twisted up in agony. Come on empath, do something. Do something now. Soothe our fevered brows, splint our broken limbs and bind our wounds. You must drop anything and everything. Forget being at work today, you must call in and excuse yourself no matter how inconvenient, for you are required to don a nurse’s outfit and do your best Florence Nightingale impression for us. This slight snuffle is pneumonia you know and to top it all it is your fault. You insisted on the window of the bedroom being left open, now see what you have done. I may not last the week. You would like that wouldn’t you, you ungrateful bitch after everything that I have done for you. You did it on purpose. You wanted me to be ill so you could see me suffer. That is how nasty and selfish you are. Is it any wonder I have been off with other women when this is how I am treated by somebody who is supposed to love me? Yes the smallest spot, minor ache and slight cough are all that is needed to enable us to declare that we are on our death beds. It is good for several uses. First of all, we will use it to avoid doing things such as household chores or attending an event that you wanted to go to. Secondly, it means you must give us plenty of attention by looking after us. Those soothing words and hot water bottles brought to our bedside all provide us with fuel. Thirdly, we are able to provoke you by being demanding and castigating you for not living up to expectations. You didn’t bring that hot lemon drink soon enough or those are the wrong pills. We will compare you to others, ” My mother would do a better job of looking after me than you.” All of which is designed to cause a reaction from you.

The second occasion on which we will play the sickness card is when you are ill or injured. We are not here to look after you. Good Lord, not at all. Why should we? That is not our role. We are too busy looking for fuel and we do not have the time or energy to spend engaged in nursing you. Not only of course are we devoid of the concept of feeling that we should care and that we shouldΒ feel sorry and compassionate for someone who is unwell, we do not regard it as a task that is worthy of someone as brilliant as us. If you moan enough so that we are compelled to call out a doctor we will pronounce our own diagnosis in order to align ourselves with the brilliance of the medic. When he concludes what ailment it is you are suffering from we will declare,

“Yes, I said to her that that was what was wrong with her, but she won’t listen to me doctor, she insisted on getting you out. I am sorry she has wasted your time.”

We get to denigrate you and upset you whilst showing off how clever we are because we knew what was wrong with you (even though we did not) and the doctor accords with us. We may as well steal a segment of the doctor’s brilliance for our construct whilst he is here mightn’t we?

We will then invite the doctor to examine our shoulder or leg as we go to great lengths explaining how much pain we are in. This keeps the spotlight firmly on us and has you annoyed that we have hijacked your consultation. We will look to declare we are far worse off than you. You have a cold, well we have flu. We will use this as an opportunity to accuse you of attention seeking (nice bit of projection there) as we point out how selfish you are for being ill when we are. We have no interest in tending to you and we need to make the situation all about us. Accordingly, we will fake an illness or an injury in order to trump yours.

The third reason as to why we will play the sickness card is when we are low on fuel and low on energy. There may be any number of reasons why this state of affairs has arisen. You may be getting wise to some of our manipulative behaviour and therefore you are not reacting as often so that the level and quality of fuel that you provide is reduced. We may also have a natural dip in our energy levels or feel some degree of vulnerability which means that our resources are being stretched rather thin. This makes it difficult for us to seek out additional sources of fuel. This diminution in fuel reduces our power and this risks the craven creature that lurks within trying to escape and making itself heard. When this happens, the creature’s whisperings remind us of our weakened selves. We are not ill. We are not injured. What we are however is feeling weakened, as if we are ill or injured. Accordingly, we play the sickness card in order to obtain an emergency injection of fuel from you or whoever else might be to hand. As an empathic individual you are programmed to respond to this and you cannot resist the opportunity to exhibit your caring nature in order to help us out and nurse us. The attention you lavish on us provides us with fuel and we begin to feel more powerful again. The creature’s catcalls fade as he is subsumed within the prison of our constructed edifice once again and our supremacy returns. Our weakness lifts thanks to this provision of fuel from you and this has been instigated by us playing the sickness card. We will do this to garner sympathy from you, from family and friends and also from health professionals. Our favourite ailments of course are of the invisible variety. Depression, a stomach pain or a bad back. We are brilliant actors and ham up our suffering. The portrayal of our poor sick self would please Ferris Bueller. As with most things it is just another fabrication designed to manipulate you and provide us with fuel but you must never dare question us. We of course have researched the symptoms thoroughly and our Munchausen Syndrome is most prevalent. You are duty bound to help us rise from our sick bed or you are a bad person and we will cut you out of our will in the event that this terrible affliction sends us to the reaper. You will be sick to death of our illnesses and injuries but you will be duty bound to attend to them.

10 thoughts on “You Sicken Me

  1. Dory says:

    Mine got mad at me for not patting his back when he was coughing (or what he called choking) I explained that I worked in the medical field for years and knew that if he was able to move air, he would be just fine. This inferiorated him. But if I cared I would at least pat his back, as a gesture. For the love of what the hell.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A good example Dory of the narcissistic perspective creating a criticism (where none was intended) and thus lashing out at you through the ignited fury.

  2. Em says:

    Fractured eyelash???? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸš‘πŸš‘πŸš‘πŸš‘πŸš‘πŸš“πŸš“πŸš“πŸš“πŸš“πŸš“πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸš¨πŸ€•πŸ€•πŸ€•πŸ€•πŸ€•πŸ€• emergencyyyyyy😨😱😱😨😨😨…. empath to the rescue 😍……. Said No One, ….EVER.

    Excellent article HG! I have only recently found your blog, your writing and the contribution of the guests is a real eye opener. Thank you

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Em, I am pleased you have found being here useful.

  3. Lanie says:

    So much eye-opening truth here! From headaches, to backaches, to stomach aches and chronic abdominal pain. Visits to doctors and specialists all of whom ” did nothing for him” (maybe because there was nothing wrong?) I was constantly researching symptoms, doctors, and treatments and making appointments. I was leaving work in the middle of a busy work day to check on you or to give you your migraine shot (while you laid in bed while you were supposed to be “working from home”!). Me going out to the 24 hour pharmacy to get the refill of pain medication that you could never remember to order ahead of time. I was constantly trying to figure out things to make you feel better, but then you would say “I just want to be left alone”. And then a short time later I was made to feel guilty for not having enough sympathy – that I didn’t know what it was like to be in chronic pain. I would have people from church or the community ask me. ” what do you think is going on with (NARC), surely there is someone out there who can help him, I mean – you are a nurse- what do you think it is? Have y’all seen a specialist? “. I would smile and say “we are trying to find answers”.
    Yet, who was the person who delivered 2 babies with out any pain meds or anesthesia? Who developed serious Cardiac arrythmias? Who was diagnosed with Thyroid cancer? Who had a nearly ruptured appendix and emergency surgery? That would be me- and basically was treated by (NARC) like I had stubbed my toe.
    I have learned so much about Narcissm since my divorce, but this really brought a whole new light to all those years of “ailments” – which of course didn’t seem to curtail any of the ” extracurricular” activities that I discovered were going on for years!
    Free at last! Free at last!

    1. Lisa says:

      Wow Lanie! You really copped it. Im so sorry. Glad you are free now also. πŸ™‚

    2. BraveHeart says:

      YAY, for your freedom!!! πŸ™‚

  4. Dawn says:

    I had cancer 2yrs ago and he disappeared and didn’t even visit me in hospital after major surgery. 😞 I should of let go then but stupidly hung on until he left me a year ago for the person he is treating like a queen.

  5. Leilani says:

    What a handsome devil, I think I want you!

  6. Love says:

    A fractured eyelash!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    My narcs always denied an illness. They could be delirious with a 105 degree fever yet they’d drop and do 100 pushups to prove Gods do not get sick.
    I’m normally a very healthy person yet in my relationships, I would get sick often. They probably stole my good health, those thieving narcs.

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