The Narcissistic Truths – No. 69

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13 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 69”

  1. Hello, HG. You’re helping many people with your books and blog.

    I am wondering: What happens to OLD narcissists? There comes a time for all of us when the looks fade, the income becomes fixed/limited, and the charm requires much more energy because of the lack of looks/money and limited opportunities for tertiary supply.

    Of course I’m not concerned enough about this to break 20 years of NC and ask the one I’m thinking of. I’m just curious. My guess is (and I take no pleasure from this probability, this curiosity is a compassionate inquiry) that your kind winds up destitute and alone.

    Is there ever a time for your kind that voluntary therapy is appealing? Does there ever come a time that the necessary fuel just can’t be found or that the energy necessary to acquire it isn’t available? And… what then?

    Thank you.

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    1. Hello Amber, thank you for your kind comments. With regard to your question, have a read of two articles on the blog called Time and the Narcissist which will provide you with further insight.

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  2. Lets face it: you live the life of a liar and thief. There is absolutely nothing superior about the way you are and act. Nothing! Smoke and mirrors, that’s what you are. I would not want to change places with you. I do not envy you. I feel sorry for you that this is the only way you know how to live.

    Yet you are not entirely dead as I thought at first. There is fury in your voice, and sparks of empathy, when you talk about Robert Maxwell opening his childrens’ christmas presents, for example. Why would you care? Yet you do… You have been locked in an emotional coma all those years, to protect yourself. I understand that very well. It no longer serves you. Time to wake up, HG!

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    1. Very good post and this is where im at. Im no longer angry. I feel sorry for my narc. I love him deeply but know his emotional development was stunted. Im a very spiritual person and i believe in forgiveness within. When i say within i mean within myself but this doesnt mean allow the behaviour to keep affcting me. I choose to detach an observe and understand why. Ive not left and its been a struggle bc i do see good and i know its not all an act. Some or a lot may be but its not all an act. I think nothings black and white with narcs. Theyre not 100% evil. Its a personality disorder on a spectrum.
      Itll never amount to anything serious but i have a hard time cutting them out of my life. I really would miss them. Each narcs different. Its a personal decision if the price of having them in your life is worth it. All i know is i cant envision them not in my life. Weve shared so much. Yes theres been lies and deciet and they have huge issues but i enjoy them in my life despite that. I just refuse to attach any expectations on them and have given up on anything serious. Friendship only

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      1. I see where you are coming from. I am on a similar path. Due to the brutality of the future faking, I cannot forgive him – some things are unforgivable. I never knew that you could love and hate someone in the same breath until I met him. Part of me will always love him, but as yourself, I had to learn to detach. Sooner or later, I hope you will be able to move on.

        The brutal truth is: if we had loved ourselves (enough), we would have walked away the moment we had that gut feeling something was not right. If we had valued ourselves enough, we would not have let someone else trample down our boundaries. Prior to abuse, I did not even know what boundaries were and how they manifested in our daily lives, let alone how to set and defend them! I was a sheep ripe for slaughtering. And slaugther, he did. But I learned to fight back, so much so that he knows I would make mincemeat of him without batting an eyelid if necessary. Now, that is progress. 🙂

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  3. Perfect example of projection. Most narcs are insanely healous bc they dont like who they “really” are behind the facade

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  4. I greatly enjoy your pictures, HG and appreciate the time and efforts you take in educating us about your kind as your work gives insights from a real person’s perspective (scientific doesn’t work well with my brain).

    Now, I may be seeing the picture wrong (which I have been known to do) but from studying your blog and wonderful books, I have come to the conclusion that a Narcissist MUST BE superior at all times and largely that includes being in control, I think? What happens when you have trouble understanding what the Narcissist wants of you where the issue isn’t as much about control but based on confusion that limits me providing ‘fuel’? Or is it more of ensuring the control to get one to respond when the Narcissist wants them to respond…like controlling when the emotional havoc is triggered rather than the emotional reaction itself?

    I HATE labels because they become frozen in time, but always try to follow up – HG, would you still consider yourself a Narcissist Sociopath or has your therapies been helping? I say this because I do blog about you on my blog, and the day that you change your label on yourself, I want to make sure it is updated as I think labels are SUPER constrictive of change and know that you are going to break free of this one day!

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